Conflict Management Conflict Management andand

Problem Solving Problem Solving (Under Pressure)(Under Pressure)

Presented byDr. De Hicks, CEO of SCGI

Performance Management ConsultingSeattle | Sacramento | Spokane

Lessons you’ve learned Appreciative Inquiry The Power of Assumptions Some Assumptions about Conflict Emotional Distortion and Conflict The Conflict Continuum The Power of Expectations Conflict Management Styles Essential Conflict Positions and Interests Complex Problem Solving Skills Root Cause Analysis

Overview of Today’s Class

Your Expectations

Today, I’d most like to address….

When are you at your best

…when dealing with conflict (both at work and outside of work)?

The Power of Assumptions

Current?

out-dated?tested?

Un-tested?Mine?

Borrowed?

Assumptions about Conflict

What are your assumptions about conflict?

Assumptions I have/ Those I hear from others

Some Specific Assumptions When conflict occurs, the relationship is forever

changed All conflict creates emotional distortion Some conflict is essential: no conflict, no change Most conflict occurs on two levels: Issues and

Styles Our primary tool for managing conflict is the

question Our primary for influencing conflict is the

conversation Most conflict issues are about expectations rather

than values

What are you genuinely curious about?

The General Adaptation Syndrome

ALARM!

COPING

EXHAUSTIONIs this threatening? Is this personal?

Stress = FEAR

FIGHT?

FLIGHT?

ALLOSTASIS

Stress, Stress and More StressAllostatic Load is created when…

Repeated frequency of stress responses to multiple sources (this includes perceived threats to self, income, life, and others). The body does not know the difference between perceived or real stress.  

Failure to orientate (adapt to) repeated stressors of the same kind. Stated differently, this means we don't have a system in play (time management, organizational skills, de-escalation skills, and diet and exercise programs). We lack stability and our body adjusts to our instability.

Failure to turn off each stress response in a timely manner due to delayed shut down (the flame of emotional reaction lights too quickly, burns too hot, and burns for too long).

Inadequate response tells the body to compensate internally (if we don't work it out the body takes over) leading to maladapted state or a compressed allostatic load.

The Conflict Continuum

I have a problem You realize there’s a problem and now you have a problem

The Conflict Continuum

Need for Understanding

Demand for Action!

WE WARZONE

The Power of Expectations

VALUESWhy is this important?

What do I expect?

What are your expectations? and what else? and what else?

Why is that important to you?

What were your expectations? Why was that important to you?

The Bermuda Triangle of Communication

A

B

C

Wait… Have you talked to ___ about this?

You need to talk to ____ about this.

Conflict Management Styles

Cooperation (Relationships)

Assertiveness (Tasks)

Competing

CompromisingAccommodating

Avoiding

passive

active

Collaborating

Your Conflict Management Style

Essential Conflict

Conflict is essential when resolving it will create a new and better

future all parties agree that it was worth it innovation occurs other problems/conflicts are resolved

concurrently the relationships are strengthened other?

A word about drama…

or King

Perspective…

The common denominator for resolution of all essential conflict:

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ C U R I O S I T Y

Positions and Interests

Position: How I think it should be done

Interests: Why this matters

If you were awake earlier, you notice that is just like Values and Expectations

Complex Problem Solving Skills (Especially Under Pressure)

Move. Check emotional distortion: What is the

threat? Reframe: Ask, what problem are we /am I

trying to solve? Check our / my assumptions about the

problem Imagine what the solution would look like Look for leverage Act on the leverage Reframe: Solved

Root Cause Analysis

WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy

My Plan

All Things Workplace

Communication Skills (7 hrs)Communication Skills (7 hrs)

Managing Emotional Pressure at Work (3.5 hrs)

Managing Emotional Pressure at Work (3.5 hrs)

Conflict Management/ Problem Solving Under Pressure (7 hrs)Conflict Management/ Problem Solving Under Pressure (7 hrs)

Fundamental Leadership Skills in the New Workplace (7 hrs)Fundamental Leadership Skills in the New Workplace (7 hrs)

Leading Teams (3.5 hrs)Leading Teams (3.5 hrs) Emotional Intelligence for Leaders (3.5 hrs)

Emotional Intelligence for Leaders (3.5 hrs)

Dealing with Difficult People (3.5 hrs)

Dealing with Difficult People (3.5 hrs)

Classes build on one

another

Or, take Classes in any order