MAKING THINGS HAPPEN - Illinois...Making Things Happen Spring 2009 2 The ultimate purpose of child...

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MAKING THINGS HAPPEN A Newsletter for Birth Parents by Birth Parents Inside This Issue BPC History & Mission Your Attendance is Important Our Voices are Being Heard BPC Highlights Ms. Tardy’s Place From A Child’s Perspective A Mother’s Cry of Thankfulness It’s Not About Me Visitation: A Peek Into the Process How to Handle a Difficult Caseworker Membership Resources BPC Contact Information “The race is not given to the strong or the swift, but to the one who endures to the end” Birth Parent Council members (from left) Ramona Randall, David Israel, Rayvese Woodfork- Smith, Eric Prater, Cynthia Hoyle and Letitia Franklin May 2009 . Volume 3

Transcript of MAKING THINGS HAPPEN - Illinois...Making Things Happen Spring 2009 2 The ultimate purpose of child...

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MAKING THINGS HAPPENA Newsletter for Birth Parents by Birth Parents

Inside ThisIssue

• BPC History & Mission

• Your Attendance isImportant

• Our Voices are BeingHeard

• BPC Highlights

• Ms. Tardy’s Place

• From A Child’s Perspective

• A Mother’s Cry ofThankfulness

• It’s Not About Me

• Visitation: A Peek Intothe Process

• How to Handle a Difficult Caseworker

• Membership

• Resources

• BPC Contact Information

“The race is not given to the strongor the swift, but to the one who

endures to the end”

Birth Parent Council members (from left) Ramona Randall, David Israel, Rayvese Woodfork-Smith, Eric Prater, Cynthia Hoyle and Letitia Franklin

May 2009 . Volume 3

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The ultimate purpose of childwelfare agencies is to helpfamilies in crisis become sta-ble and unified. In child wel-fare birth parents have beensorely overlooked which hin-ders and many times defeatsthe purpose. The Departmentof Children and Family Serv-ices (DCFS) introduced thePartnering With Parents Ini-tiative to address the concernsand needs of birth parents asthe agency recognized theneed for change on behalf ofparents receiving child wel-fare services.

Its main goal is to give fami-lies a voice regarding the poli-cies, programs and servicesprovided to them. To thatend, the Birth Parent Councilsof Cook County were createdwhich includes a Core Coun-cil and councils in each regionfor a total of four.

The mission of all councils isto identify issues concerningbirth parents and presentthese issues to the appropriategovernment officials to bringabout durable policy changesthat will aid all parents withDCFS involvement, now andin the future. All members ofthe councils are birth parents.

Our MissionOur History

By Gregory CoxBirth Parent Council Chairman

I have attendedseveral differentevents in the lastfiscal year suchas community fo-rums, focusgroups, and din-ner with keyplayers in thecourt system, aswell as the 2008DCFS Cook Re-gional Perma-n e n c yE n h a n c e m e n tSymposium. All this along with BirthParents participating in trainings forDCFS staff has given me the opportunityto take part in the change that is takingplace.

Being approached by people that haveheard and know about the work we aredoing is exciting. Yes, I know this maynot seem like a lot to some; but fromwhere I came from – a life filled withshame, guilt and low self-worth, I willtake every commitment that I can and ifyou don’t or won’t take yours, then yes,I’ll take yours too!

Encouragement has come from peoplewho have been with DCFS for manyyears. They are saying things like: “Aslong as I have been with the departmentI have never seen anything like this withparents getting involved or “This is thefirst time I have ever witnessed this, keepup the work.” As birth parents, care-givers, and workers; we all want to doour best and yet we make mistakes; how-ever, we still need someone to tell us we

are doing a good job to help us keepgoing and not quit. It just might be whatI need to hear to keep me going. And soI say your attendance is important.

After listening to all of the data past andpresent I see that we are definitely goingto need more help. One of the goals ofthe Birth Parent Council for this fiscalyear is to strengthen what we have andto increase the attendance of birth par-ents. I encourage birth parents to get in-volved with your case, continue toparticipate, attend your AdministrativeCase Review (ACR) and all court ap-pointments. Ask questions and don’t’quit. We need you and not only do weneed you, but your children need you. Itis one thing to show up and be seen, butit is another to help create new materiallike parent hand books and new curricu-lum that will be used to help the systemreunite families sooner. Our goal is tosee children not only come home but stayhome.

YOUR ATTENDANCE ISIMPORTANT

Mr. Cox is one of the first men to gothrough the DCFS court process andgain custody of his children. He ispassionate about families in the sys-tem. As Chairman of the Birth Par-ent Council of Cook County he worksdiligently to help those who have yetto complete the process of reunitingwith their children.

Gregory Cox

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By David Israel –Birth Parent Co-Chairman

Hello to all whoare reading thisarticle. My nameis David Israel andI was elected lastyear by Birth Par-ent Council mem-bers to become the

Co-Chairman of this organization.

My purpose in accepting this positionis to bring unity among parents thatmay have to deal with the system. Iwant to inform parents that there isnow a support system and resources

available to assist them while they nav-igate through the DCFS system.

I chose to become a part of the BirthParent Council because of my firsthand experience “at the hands” of thesystem. I too am a parent who has hadmy children taken from me.

Although recourse is offered withinthe system, until the Birth ParentCouncil was formed, there was no re-course outside of the system. I don’twant to see parents go through what Ihave experienced. I want to educateparents on how to deal with issueswhen they arise and how to cope withthe stress parents experience duringthe traumatic experience of losing and

regaining custody of their children.

It is also my intention to help ensurethat parents who have children in thesystem have the “course of action” nec-essary to navigate through the system.

For the first time, voices are beingheard from a parent’s perspective. Myjob is to make sure that our voices con-tinue to be heard. I will continue alongwith my fellow council members tohelp put things in place to give notonly parental support, but also to helpthe system take a look at the old poli-cies that are not working and to estab-lish new ones that will.

Our Voices Are Being Heard

The Birth Parent Council is continuing to walk into the fu-ture by speaking to various groups and organizations whohave heard about the work of the council. So far this yearpresentations have been made to the State Department ofAlcohol and Substance Abuse – DASA and DCFS, the ChildCare Association, The Public Guardian’s Office, and theLatino Conference, with other presentations in the works.There is an ongoing opportunity for parents to present at

DCFS Training and Development classes for new case-workers so that they can be better prepared to help birthparents.

If you are a member of the Core Council and are interestedin presenting at a Foundations Training please contact Mar-sha Harris – Birth Parent Council Coordinator at (312) 328-2828.

Meet Some of Our Partners

Speaking Out: Parent Presentations

Here are just a few of many people who work with birth parents and are committed to help make a change

Steering Council Members and Birth Parents Planning for 2009 at December 2008 Planning Meeting

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Losers do what they want to do; winners do what they have to doThis space is dedicated in memory of Ms. Tardy, who was a council member who unselfishly shared her

experience, strength, and hope. She will always be loved and remembered.

How To Handle A Difficult Caseworker

By Leon Alexander

You listen without thinking about yourposition. You listen with a still mind;at least, so that you can hear what yourcaseworker is saying to you. This ac-tion in it self goes a long way towardsestablishing respect between both par-ties; this helps you understand yourcaseworker better.

Birth parents; for the sake of under-standing, it is best that you develop abetter knowledge of the caseworkersresponsibilities; these include, mediat-ing, negotiating and advocating mat-ters that affect all persons involved.

Birth parents have to understand thatthe caseworkers view is influenced bythe world they live in. In the early

days, children were seen as victims tobe rescued from bad parents and badenvironments before they too turnedbad. City children were taken fromtheir parents and sent out West. Fam-ilies were broken up because parentswere seen as the only cause of theirown difficulties. There was no thoughtof reuniting the family.

The latter 20th century eventuallybrought a new kind of thinking. Gen-eral systems theory advanced the ideasof the interdependence of all parts, orthat a breakdown in any one partcould affect other parts. In the late1960’s, these ideas evolved in socialwork as well. Note: But it has beenhard for social workers to let go of theearly medical model of cause and ef-fect thinking.

I believe that if welisten more atten-tively, understandour caseworkersduties and respon-sibilities, as pre-scribed by law, theBio-Parents will bemore empoweredand more effectivein relating to whatever kind of personor caseworker theywould come in con-tact with; it simplywon’t matter. I be-lieve that if the case-worker is more

aware of how their environment af-fects them and they're careful not tolean towards that old thinking; the oldmedical model (cause and effect ap-proach) and finally understand thebond between the child and the bio-logical parents, and that they are inter-dependent; well then, our caseworkerswill be more empathetic towards theBio parents.

In closing, I believe that if we put theseviews together in the think tank of theBirth Parent Council and caseworkers,a foundation that promotes coopera-tion and harmony will follow.

Leon Alexander is a strong member of theBirth Parent Council whose voice speaksloudly for the cause of birth parentseverywhere.

Action Tips: • Your caseworker is mandated by law to provide youwith appropriate services• Know your rights and responsibilities• Advocate for yourself to get the services you need• Address problems by following the chain of com-mand: caseworker, supervisor, etc.• Talk to your lawyer about problems you are havingwith your case• Document your completion of services/ Keep all pa-perwork and make copies.For further assistance call: DCFS Advocacy Office800.232-3798 or 217.524-2029

Ms. Tardyʼs Place

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Itʼs Not About MeBy Cynthia Hoyle

Hello, my name is Cynthia and I am aBirth Parent and an active member ofthe Birth Parent Council. I am also themother of five children, all girls and agrandmother of three, all girls.

My story begins in 1995 when 3 of mychildren were taken from me due neg-lect and my substance abuse issues.My other two children went to livewith their fathers.

For a year I did nothing at all to get mychildren back. I just went deeper anddeeper into my addiction because I feltguilt, shame, and remorse.

In 1996 I went to a recovery home inChicago and stayed there for about ayear but about ten months after beingthere it hit me like a ton of bricks thatsomething was missing from my life –

my children, all five of them.

So, I got busy doing the things Ineeded to do and not the things Iwanted to do. The first thing I did wascontact my caseworker. She was won-derful and never gave up on me. Shewalked me through the process and Ibegan to take the initiative and do thethings I needed to do to get my chil-dren back.

Yes, there were a lot of barriers but Inever once let them get me down. Ijust looked at it as another opportunityto be responsible and to grow up.

In October of 1996 I moved back toJoliet into a women’s shelter. Onemonth to the day God blessed me withmy youngest daughter who at the timewas with her father. I was blessedwith a job and continued to do whatwas required of me. I went on my vis-

its and participated in my children’slives by going to counseling, medicalappointments and all kinds of func-tions. I took my paycheck and spent iton them.

Not long after God blessed me with anapartment. It was time to go to courtand on April 22, 1997 God blessed meand gave me all of my children back.That day was the happiest day of mylife. Today two of my children havegone to college and my third is cur-rently in college. My fourth is a seniorin high school and is applying to go tocollege. My fifth child is a specialneeds child and is in a school thatmeets her needs. The reason I say it isnot about me is because God allowedme to go through this so when He gotme out I would be able to show othersthat they too can do the same.

By Rayvese Woodfork-Smith

During the summer it is a time for vacations, lots of eating,replacing, refining and just plain renewing. It is a timewhen everyone, everywhere comes out of hibernation. Wetrust our children to play safely with the neighbors. Ourchildren learn new things; maybe a word or a dance; ormaybe a good old fashioned book to read. Never does amother foresee her children getting injured in any way.

This summer my 22 year old son was shot because of a do-mestic violence relationship with an older woman. I en-

dured hearing doctors say several times that he wouldn’tmake it through the night. I am glad that God heard myprayers. Yes, I am grateful that my son was not counted astatistic. This was a child I had lost to the system and Ifought to go through the system so I could care for, protect,and nurture my children.

This incident has taken me to another level in life. Mymotto has become “Keep It Movin through the Bruisin”. Iwill fight for our children, I will fight for gun control, I willfight!

If you have a personal story, helpful information, poem, or words of encouragement and would like to be consid-ered for our next “Making Things Happen” issue, please contact Ramona Randall, BPC Media Chairman at (773) 322-

0827 or [email protected].

Do you have something to say?

A Motherʼs Cry of Thankfulness

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We did it again!! Our second annual Institute Day was heldat the Ramada Inn on the South Side of Chicago in HydePark. 134 birth parents and many agency workers attendedmaking it a great success. A talk-show style question andanswer session was held after breakfast before workshopsbegan. Workshop topics included; Parent Rights and Re-

sponsibilities and The Role of the Guardian and Publlic De-fender among others. The day ended on a positive notewith a certificate ceremony acknowledging both parentsand agency staff who have worked hard to make the BirthParent Council a success.

BPC Highlights

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Parents, Staff And Exhibitors At The2nd Annual Cook County Birth ParentCouncil Institute Day, June 20, 2008 atthe Ramada Lake Shore - Chicago

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A Piece of The PuzzleVisitationBy Ramona Randall

Visiting with my son Nathan while I was in treatmentwas very important to me. It helped me to bond withhim and began the healing of my soul. I was able to over-come the shame of having allowed my son to fall into thesystem. Each visit became a memory that I focused onwhen things got hard and I was strengthened every timeI was able to do those things that parents are supposed todo like change his diaper and give him a bottle. Now myson is at home running around my house…he is nolonger visiting me, he is home. I encourage every parentto make the most of your visits with your children. Youhave a right to see your child.

Visiting Mommy...

In Treatment

I’m HOME!

Mommy and Sisters visiting me

At Foster Parents House

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Birth Parents were invited to attend the Illinois StateFair this year. Busses were provided to transport par-ents and their children for a day of fun.

To quote one parent, “It was an enjoyable experienceand a benefit for the children”

Fun At The State Fair From A ChildʼsPerspective“When my mother first came home I was excited about herbeing home. I had so many expectations and I thought herbeing home would be ideal. As time went along I got theshocking reality check that we would have a tug-a-war be-fore we got toknow eachother. Becauseshe didn’tknow me and Ididn’t knowher we oftenhad many mis-unders tand-ings anddisagreements.We argued andwalked awaywith badthoughts andhorrible atti-tudes that af-fected thefamily. Nomatter how much I didn’t like the things my mother did orsaid she was still mommy. She was the person that gavebirth to me. She was the one who remembered things aboutme from when I was little that I thought she didn’t know.Soon we grew a relationship and although we had those try-ing times we were growing closer. Today I and my momhave a closer relationship. I can come and talk to her morethan I could before and I feel that she does understand memore also. Sometimes we have our disagreements but weare able to deal with them in a better way. We communicatemore and we share secrets. Although sometimes I know Idon’t show it I really do love and appreciate my mommyand look forward to our relationship growing stronger andour bond tighter.”

By Sherin R. age 15

This is an eye-opening new section from the point of view of chil-dren who have been in foster care or whose parents or siblingshave been involved with the child welfare system. We are lookingfor parents who have children who would like to share theirthoughts and feelings about being in the foster care and/or havebeen reunited with their family.

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Furniture & Clothing The Bottomless Closet445 N. Wells, Suite 301Chicago, IL 60610312.527-9664Free Clothing to parents for Jobs

Referral required & cost charged toagency

St. Vincent DePaul Society Thrift Stores9321 S. Western Chicago, IL 60643773.881-0600Hrs: M-Th. 9am-4pm; F. until 5pm

St. Vincent DePaul Society Thrift Stores4644 W. 147th Midlothian, ILHrs: M-Sat. 9am ‒ 5pm

St. Vincent DePaul Center Nearly NewThrift Store739 W. WebsterChicago, IL 60614Hrs: M-F 9:30-4:30

Marillac Center Thrift Store2859 W. JacksonChicago, IL 60612Thrift Store: 773.638-0186Hrs: M-F 9am-4pm

Salvation Army Family Service DivisionCounseling, Emergency Shelter, Homemakers4800 N. MarineChicago, IL 60640773.275-6233Call Salvation Army Core for Coat Vouch-ers & Financial Assistance for Zip Code Referral to local offices

Case Services Assistance to ParentsDCFS Office of Advocacy - When thereare questions about services800-232-3798 or217-524-2029Office of the Public Defender ‒ For Legal

Representation in Juvenile Court2245 W. Ogden Avenue, 7th Fl.Chicago, IL 60612312.433-7047

Heating Assistance City of Chicago ‒ One Time Help with Heating311 or 877.411-WARMSame as the Share the Warmth / CEDACan apply for both

Restoration Ministries ‒ South SuburbsHeadquartersTemporary Location During Construction16400 S. StateSouth Holland, IL 60473708-333-3370

Program For MenHarvey House School of MinistryTemporary Location During Construction15030 Dixie HighwayHarvey, IL 60426708-331-8026

Program For WomenTabitha House 456 E. 163rd Street South Holland, IL 60473708-333-0607

Thrift StoresSouth Holland Thrift Store14950 Dixie Highway, Harvey, IL708-333-8530

Harvey Thrift Store351 W. 162nd St., South Holland IL708-333-6822708-333-8530

Food AssistanceGreater Food Depository773-247-3663 for Zip Code Referral toPantrieswww.chicagofoodbank.org312.527-9664Fatherhood Initiative

North, Floyd Garrett, 773.451-1353Central, Ken Butler, 312.401-0434South, Don Waddell, 773.375-0700Support GroupsCatholic Charities, 312.382-2503 startingMarch, 2009

RecreationChicago Park District312.742-5381www.chicagoparkdistrict.com

YMCA, 312.932-1200www.ymcachgo.orgPaternity TestingRutha Johnson, 773.928-4659HousingIL Department of Human Services ‒ Housing Assistance

Homeless Prevention1-800-843-6154

Effective 4-1-09 Food Stamps/Link Card IncreasesOne Person $200Two People $367Three People $526Four People $668Five People $793

A Special Thanks to all who contributed valuable resources for birth parents during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays!

Resources

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Department of Children and FamilyServices

Save The Date!Cook County Birth Parent Council

3rd Annual Institute DayTheme ‒ Reunification: “Avoiding Burn-Out While Waiting”

Friday, June 26, 20098:30AM ‒ 4:00PMThe Crowne Plaza733 W. Madison

Chicago, IL 60661

For More Information, Call 312.328-2828

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REGIONAL MEETINGSScheduled as Parents

Register

Reaching Our Goal

COOK SOUTHCOOK CENTRAL

COOK NORTH

It is our goal to support birthparents as they work to regaincustody of their children. TheBirth Parent Regional Forumsare a good way to get supportfrom people who understandthe challenges we face and to

voice your concerns.

Let your voice be heard and usethe contact information belowto express your interest in at-

tending a Birth Parent RegionalForum.

Call today to register.

Birth Parent CouncilContact Information

Donella Bishop-Ward ProgramAdministrator(312) 328-2828

Marsha Harris – Coordinator(312) 328-2828

Gregory Cox – Chairman(773) 314-7792

The only requirement to become a member of the Birth Parent Council is to bea parent who is currently or was formerly involved with DCFS. We are look-ing for birth parents who are interested in attending a Regional Forum designedto provide support for parents who are going through the difficult process ofregaining custody of their children. The meetings are held on the Southside,Westside and Northside of Chicago when parents register to attend meetings.

The Core Council meets once a month with DCFS personnel and more oftenwhen needed to discuss the concerns identified by birth parents and to plan ac-tivities that address these concerns based on the needs of birth parents

It is our goal to create a strong membership of parents similar to the councils forfoster parents and foster children that will have a positive impact on the waybirth parents receive services. We respectfully ask that if you are a birth par-ent that you would become a part of this growing group of people who havesomething to say about ourselves, our children, and our families.

Membership Information

Something You Should Know...JCAP – Juvenile Court Assessment ProjectJCAP is a referral resource for those involved in an open case with DCFS. Theyprovide drug and alcohol assessments and referrals for treatment services.Their offices are located on the Concourse level of the Juvenile Court Building.Any birth parent that’s had Temporary Custody taken of their child and has aPermanency Goal of Return Home may contact JCAP for help.

Referral must be made by caseworker, parent’s attorney or judge.You Must be 18 years or older.JCAP does not work with Intact Families, the children must be in care.Cook County Cases only will be accepted.

Call Lameatrice Coger in the Intake Department at (312) 666-4688 if you havegeneral questions about the program.

This publication is printed by IDCFS, Erwin McEwen, - Director

Visit Us On The Web...Partnering With Parents

http://www.state.il.us/dcfs/library/com_communications_statePWP.s

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