Making Relationships Work (How To Stay Together)
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Transcript of Making Relationships Work (How To Stay Together)
How To Stay Together, Resolve Conflict & Be Happy!
This presentation will begin momentarily
-Dr. Alduan TarttContributing Psychologist On:
Making Relationships Work
1) Remain Friends2) Resolve Conflict Well
What Great Couples Do Well
Marriage is not about getting your needs met… it’s about meeting your partners!
The Marital Mindset
“I deserve better than I’m getting”
“This isn’t what I signed up for”
“I’m putting more into this than I’m getting out”
The Expectations Trap
Infatuation (6months - 2 years)- Giddy Love- Similar feeling to getting “high”- Common in people with high pain bodies (pain attracts)
Post Rapture - Intense feelings begin to fade - Reality sets in- Can feel like “falling out of love” - Love becomes an intentional act not a “feeling”
-From “Me To We To Interdependence” (Bader/Pearson Marital Stages of Change)
Normal Development of Marriages
Discovery -Love no longer sustains marriage, the decision to honor the commitment sustains the love- Discover what makes your partner feel loved- Become an expert on your partners likes & dislikes
Connection - Strong friendship develops- Solidified common interests & philosophy on life- Create & maintain rituals that unify the couple (like a team)
-From “Me To We To Interdependence” (Bader/Pearson Marital Stages of Change)
Normal Development of Marriages
Couples just don’t start arguing all of a sudden. Instead, they stop paying attention to one another
and disconnect and argue as a result
Your Relationship Is Not That Bad
You are one connection experience away from solving your issues and feeling great about your
relationship or marriage again
Your Relationship Is Not That Bad
Gottman’s Sound Relationship House
Gottman.com
Build Love Maps
Gottman.com
Share Fondness & Admiration
Gottman.com
Turn Towards
Gottman.com
The Positive Perspective
Gottman.com
Manage Conflict
Gottman.com
Make Life Dreams Come True
Gottman.com
Create Shared Meaning
We can ALL do better when we know better
Feel & Be Better
Benefit In Office Hourly Rate = $150/hr 3 Session Minimum For Realistic Results = $450
Offer 1 Hour Webinar + Free Live Q & A (personalized) = $47
Providing Value
How To Stop Arguing & Resolve Conflict NOW! ($27)
Secrets of Successful Couples- How To Avoid Breaking Up & Divorce
($47)
How To Avoid & Recover From Affairs ($47)
Current Online Workshops
Text TARTT to 22828
Join email mailing list • Get complimentary webinars• Access to private workshops• Complimentary Q & A Sessions
Join My Email List
Relationship/Marriage
-Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (63% of couples who
read reported better marriage one year later- 1999)
- 10 Lessons To Transform Your Marriage
(Dr. John Gottman /Dr. Julie Gottman)]
-How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
(Dr. Patricia Love & Dr. Steven Stosny)
- The Five Love Languages (Dr. Gary Chapman)
- The Four Seasons of Marriage (Dr. Gary Chapman)
- Not Just Friends (Dr. Shirley Glass) “Why Affairs Happen”
Resources To Read
ThanksText TARTT to 22828 to join email list & get more
free workshops
Website www.drtartt.comEmail [email protected] @drtartt.comContact 404-377-4757