ADDING DETAILS AND THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

Making Our Stories Awesome

What writers do…

Ok…picture Harry Potter in your mind…

Writers are aware of their readers.

You know what happened in your story. You have a “mental picture” of the people, the places, and the action. HOWEVER…

Our readers don’t have that same “mental picture” we do unless we show them. Our job as writers is to help our readers picture everything that is going on in our stories, so they get sucked in and can enter the story world we have created.

DETAILS. DETAILS. DETAILS.

So how can we help our readers?

Describe the people in your story.

Ask yourself: How old is he/she? What does he/she wear? How does he/she act? How does he/she talk? What does he/she look like?

Dialogue: Helps reader get to know and understand characters.

Describe the place in your story.

Imagine your story is a movie. Movies and television shows have sets, right?

Create the “set” for your story.

Use your five senses.

Sounds: The crunching of fall leaves, the roar of a football stadium, the woooosh of the wind, etc.

Sights: A crescent moon, a sea of orange and blue, a look of disappointment on someone’s face, etc.

Tastes: crisp snowflakes, melt in your mouth chocolate croissants, refreshing Gatorade, etc.

Smells: Cookies in the oven, sweat on the basketball court, a stinky locker room, Mom’s perfume, etc.

Touch: A cool breeze, a soft blanket, a warm hug, etc.

Use figurative language!

AND OTHER DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE…

Use adjectives!

A story is more than a string of events. Your story can be about climbing a mountain, winning a car, or traveling all over the world, but if we can’t get inside the minds of the characters, we aren’t moved by the story. We can’t connect with the adventure. We need somebody to be with as we are reading.

So how do we do this???

The answer is thoughts and feelings.

It is hard to include thoughts and feelings in a first draft, because we are just trying to get the events of the story down on paper. But we can definitely go back and add them!

Directions

Read through your story with a pen or pencil. At every point in the draft where a reader might wonder what you are thinking or feeling, put an asterisk (*). You may also do this with a partner.

Also, mark places where you might add some descriptions, such as inserting figurative language, better vocabulary, strong verbs or adjectives, etc. Remember the five senses.