Lowery Training Associates 1 Building a Safe Place - Part 3 Brian Lowery MPA, LSW Lowery Training...

Lowery Training AssociatesLowery Training Associates 11

Building a Safe Place Building a Safe Place - Part 3- Part 3

Brian Lowery MPA, LSWBrian Lowery MPA, LSWLowery Training AssociatesLowery Training Associates

Cleveland, OhioCleveland, Ohio

E-mail: E-mail: [email protected]: Web: www.LoweryAndAssociates.com

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What is Safety? What is Safety?

Pronunciation:Pronunciation: /’saf-te/ /’saf-te/ FunctionFunction: Noun: Noun From the middle English From the middle English saufte, saufte, from from

the Anglo-French the Anglo-French salvete, saufte, salvete, saufte, fromfrom salf salf

Definition: Definition: the condition of beingthe condition of being safe safe from undergoing or causing injury, from undergoing or causing injury, hurt or losshurt or loss


Safety & TraumaSafety & Trauma

Physical Safety is not the same as Physical Safety is not the same as psychological safety.psychological safety.

Your child’s definition of safety will not Your child’s definition of safety will not be the same as yours.be the same as yours.

to help your child feel safe, you will to help your child feel safe, you will need to look at the world through need to look at the world through his/her “trauma lens”. his/her “trauma lens”. ContinuedContinued

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Safety & Trauma Safety & Trauma (continued)(continued)

Children who have been through Children who have been through trauma may:trauma may:

Have difficulty trusting adults to Have difficulty trusting adults to protect themprotect them..

Have valid fears about their safety or Have valid fears about their safety or the safety of loved onesthe safety of loved ones

Have problems controlling their Have problems controlling their reactions to perceived threatsreactions to perceived threats

Be hyper aware of potential threatsBe hyper aware of potential threats55


Promoting SafetyPromoting Safety

Help children get familiar with the setting Help children get familiar with the setting and the neighborhood.and the neighborhood.

Give them control over some aspects of their Give them control over some aspects of their lives.lives.

Set limits.Set limits. Let them know what will happen next.Let them know what will happen next. See and appreciate them for who they are.See and appreciate them for who they are. Help them to maintain a sense of connection Help them to maintain a sense of connection

with the past. with the past.

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The Martian Child


Give a Safety MessageGive a Safety Message

Partner with the local social worker or Partner with the local social worker or caseworker.caseworker.

Get down to the child’s eye level.Get down to the child’s eye level. Promise to keep the child physically safe.Promise to keep the child physically safe. Follow the child’s lead.Follow the child’s lead. Let the child know that you are ready to Let the child know that you are ready to

hear what he or she needs.hear what he or she needs.77

coco


Give a Safety Message Give a Safety Message (continued)(continued)

Take concerns seriously:Take concerns seriously: Empathizes.Empathizes. Acknowledge that the child’s feelings make Acknowledge that the child’s feelings make

sense in light of past experiences.sense in light of past experiences. Be reassuring and realistic about what you can Be reassuring and realistic about what you can

do.do. Be honest about what you do and do not know.Be honest about what you do and do not know. Help your child/client express his or her Help your child/client express his or her

concerns to other members of the child concerns to other members of the child welfare team.welfare team.

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Explain RulesExplain Rules

When explaining household/group home When explaining household/group home rules:rules:

Consider the child’s history.Consider the child’s history.

Don’t overwhelm the child.Don’t overwhelm the child.

Emphasize protection.Emphasize protection.

Be flexible when you can.Be flexible when you can.9


Be an “Emotional Container”Be an “Emotional Container”

Be willing—and prepared—to tolerate Be willing—and prepared—to tolerate strong emotional reactions.strong emotional reactions.

Remember the suitcase!Remember the suitcase! Respond calmly but firmly.Respond calmly but firmly. Help your child identify & label the Help your child identify & label the

feelings behind the outburst. feelings behind the outburst. Reassure your child that it is okay to Reassure your child that it is okay to

feel any and all emotions.feel any and all emotions.


Manage Emotional “Hot Spots”Manage Emotional “Hot Spots”

Food and mealtime.Food and mealtime.

Sleep & bedtime.Sleep & bedtime.

Physical boundaries, privacy, Physical boundaries, privacy, personal grooming & medical care.personal grooming & medical care.


Food & Meals Food & Meals (Group Activity)

Be aware of the child’s Be aware of the child’s history.history.

Accommodate food Accommodate food preferences, if possible. preferences, if possible.

Set consistent Set consistent mealtimes.mealtimes.

Involve child in making Involve child in making and planning meals.and planning meals.

Keep mealtimes calm Keep mealtimes calm and supportive. and supportive.


Sleep and Bedtime Sleep and Bedtime (Group Activity)(Group Activity)

Help your child to “own” Help your child to “own” the bedroom.the bedroom.

Respect & protect your Respect & protect your child’s privacy.child’s privacy.

Acknowledge & respect Acknowledge & respect fearsfears

Set consistent sleep & Set consistent sleep & wake times with wake times with predictable, calming predictable, calming routinesroutines

Seek help if needed.Seek help if needed.


Physical BoundariesPhysical Boundaries

Children who have been neglected & Children who have been neglected & abused may:abused may:

Never have learned that their bodies Never have learned that their bodies should be cared for and protectedshould be cared for and protected

Feel disconnected and at odds with their Feel disconnected and at odds with their bodiesbodies

See their bodies as “vessels of the See their bodies as “vessels of the negative memories and experiences that negative memories and experiences that they carry, a constant reminder not only of they carry, a constant reminder not only of what has happened to them, but of how what has happened to them, but of how little they are worth”little they are worth”


Physical Boundaries Physical Boundaries (continued)(continued)

Respect your child’s physical Respect your child’s physical boundariesboundaries

Make the bathroom a safe zoneMake the bathroom a safe zone

When helping younger children When helping younger children bathe, ask permission about touching bathe, ask permission about touching and be clear about what you are and be clear about what you are doing and whydoing and why


Trauma RemindersTrauma Reminders

People, situations, places, things or People, situations, places, things or feelings that remind children of traumatic feelings that remind children of traumatic events:events:

May evoke intense and disturbing May evoke intense and disturbing feelings tied to the original traumafeelings tied to the original trauma

Can lead to behaviors that seem out of Can lead to behaviors that seem out of place, but which may have been place, but which may have been appropriate at the time of the original appropriate at the time of the original traumatic eventtraumatic event


Trauma Reminders’ ImpactTrauma Reminders’ Impact

Frequent reactions to trauma reminders Frequent reactions to trauma reminders can:can:

Keep a child in a state of emotional upset.Keep a child in a state of emotional upset. Be seen by others as overreacting to Be seen by others as overreacting to

ordinary events.ordinary events. Result in avoidance behaviors.Result in avoidance behaviors. Isolate the child from peers and family.Isolate the child from peers and family. Make the child ashamed or afraid of going Make the child ashamed or afraid of going

“crazy”.“crazy”.


Identifying Trauma RemindersIdentifying Trauma Reminders

When your child or adolescent has a When your child or adolescent has a reaction, make note of:reaction, make note of:

When?When? Where?Where? What?What? When possible, reduce exposureWhen possible, reduce exposure Share your observations with your Share your observations with your

child’s therapist or caseworkerchild’s therapist or caseworker


Coping with Trauma Reminders: Coping with Trauma Reminders: What Staff & Foster Parents Can What Staff & Foster Parents Can

DoDo Ensure safetyEnsure safety ReorientReorient ReassureReassure Define what’s happenedDefine what’s happened Respect and normalize the child’s Respect and normalize the child’s

experiencesexperiences Differentiate past from presentDifferentiate past from present


Coping with Trauma Reminders: Coping with Trauma Reminders: What What NOTNOT to Do to Do

Assume the child is being rebelliousAssume the child is being rebellious

Tell the child that he or she is being Tell the child that he or she is being dramatic or overreactingdramatic or overreacting

Force the child to fact reminderForce the child to fact reminder

Express anger or impatienceExpress anger or impatience


Coping with Trauma Reminders: Coping with Trauma Reminders: What Children Can Do-- SOSWhat Children Can Do-- SOS

SStoptop Stop and take several long, deep breathesStop and take several long, deep breathes

OOrientrient Look around and take in immediate surroundings. Look around and take in immediate surroundings. Make note of physical reactions (breathing, Make note of physical reactions (breathing,

heartbeat etc.)heartbeat etc.) SSeek helpeek help Use a “stress buster” to help calm downUse a “stress buster” to help calm down If needed, call a trusted friend or reliable adultIf needed, call a trusted friend or reliable adult


SOS – Identifying Stress BustersSOS – Identifying Stress Busters

Activities (running, playing a Activities (running, playing a particular song)particular song)

Things (a toy, stuffed animal, picture, Things (a toy, stuffed animal, picture, a favorite blanket or particular food)a favorite blanket or particular food)

Places (a spot in the yard or park, a Places (a spot in the yard or park, a room)room)

PeoplePeople A specific thought, phrase or prayerA specific thought, phrase or prayer


Wrap-UpWrap-Up

Great job….everybody!!!Great job….everybody!!!

Thanks for all of your hard work!Thanks for all of your hard work!

BrianBrian

Lowery Training Associates 1 Building a Safe Place - Part 3 Brian Lowery MPA, LSW Lowery Training...

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