Loving Solutions Chapter 1 (1)

8/12/2019 Loving Solutions Chapter 1 (1)

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WELCOME PARENTS!

Lov ing Solut ions

for Tough K ids

AKA Parent Project Jr.

1a


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Loving Solutions Parent Project, Jr.1b


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Loving Solutions Parent Project, Jr.

Specifically designed for

parents raising difficult

children - ages 5 - 10

Created to .

Reduce family conflict Help children develop greater selfdiscipline

Improve the enjoyment of parenting and

family life Help our children grow up safe, strong

& capable

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Lov ing Solut ions-

Course Overview Week 1 topics:

Importance of Love and Affection

Parenting Modelfor the strong-willed child Understandingour children

Influencing & Motivatingdifficult children

Using Time Outscorrectly and effectively

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Lov ing Solut ions

Week 2 topics:

Sharing our Expectations, Standards &

Valueswith our children

Identifying Critical Rulesfor our kids

Involvingour children in the process

Using Set Time Outs

3b


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Lov ing Solut ions

Week 3 topics:

Respondingto our childrens choices

Encouragingpositive choices Redirectingnegative choices

Dealing w/ Emotional Outbursts

3c


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Week 4 topics:

Active Supervision

Creating Structurefor our children Improving School Performance

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Week 5 topics:

Concrete Solutionsfor tough kids

Highly impulsive/ special needs children Out-of-ControlBehaviors

Developing Personal Action Plansfor

behavior plans

4b


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Week 6 topics:

Recognizing and Supporting Success

The dynamics of change Problem solving

Building a Strong Sense of Family

Finding Supportfor our selves

4c


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Week 7 topics:

Diagnosis & treatment of ADD/ADHD

Working w/ your insurance & doctors Tips for helping ADD/ADHD kids

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Unit 1 ObjectivesParents will be able to:

List character traits of a strong-willed child

Recognize successful ways to demonstrate love & affection

Discuss influence vs. control

Describe effective parenting strategies to increase

cooperation & other positive behaviors

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Before We Begin Unit 1:

1. What is your partners name?2. What are the names & ages of your

partners children?

3. What parental concerns or issues isyour partner facing right now?

4. What does your partner hope to learnfrom this class?

After getting your partners permission,

introduce your new friendto the large group

using the above information

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Strong Willed vs.

Complaint ChildrenArgumentative

Frustrating

Persistent

Traditional

parenting generally

ineffective

Cooperative

Pleasant

Eager to please

Traditional

parenting usually

effective

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Activity 1.1: Personality1. Calm

2. Easy Going

3. Willing to listen4. Understanding

5. Compliant

6. Emotional

7. Strong-willed

8. Argumentative9. Stubborn

10. Challenging

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What Works?The keys to parenting tough kids:

Love & Affection

Positive Strokes

Positive Consequences

Time Outs

Teaching New Tools

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Love & AffectionOur MOST effective parenting tool & thekey to:

Improved Communication

Effective Discipline

Positive Self-Esteem

Changing destructive & difficultbehaviors

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Working in GroupsGroup Facilitator

Group Recorder

Group Time KeeperGroup Cheerleaders/

Nurturers

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Group Activity 1.2: RolesGroup Facilitator:Group Recorder:

Group Time Keeper:

Group Cheerleaders/Nurturers:

Each member now takes a minute to

explain their assigned job description

to their group

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Group Activity 1.3

Showing Love1. Saying, I Love You

2. Cooking for your children

3. Spending time w/ your children

4. ?5. ?

6. ?

7. ?

8. ?

9. ?

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Group Activity 1.4

MostEffective3 parental expressions of love that a child

could notmistake as anything other

than - Mom & Dad love me.1. ?

2. ?

3. ?

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Group Activity 1.5:

Children1. Children

2. Children

3. Children4. Children

5. Children respond

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Paren t con tro l

THINGS

NOT Children!

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We dont control

our kids!But, we do have tremendous

influenceon them.

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Influencing & Motivating

ChildrenDaily Love & Affection

Positive Strokes

Positive ConsequencesTime Outs

Teaching Tools

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Positive Strokes: Catching

kids doing right!Acknowledge and

reinforce your

childs positiveactions w/ a

compliment - it

shows you noticed

and approve.

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Group Activity 1.7

Doing Right!1. Taking out the trash with or without being asked2. Helping a younger brother or sister

3. ?

4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

7. ?8. ?

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Positive ConsequencesKids get to do what they like

to do, AFTER they have

followed a parents request.

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G A ti it 1 8


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Group Activity 1.8

Fun Follows Work!1. Sure! You may use the phone, just as soon

as you finish drying the dishes.

2. Sure! You may go to your friends house,just as soon as your room is clean.

3. Sure! You may______________, just assoon as ____________________.



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Time Out

Involves the loss of access to fun things and socialinteraction w/ others.

Becomes an empty, boring and undesirableexperience

May follow a negative behavior; also may be used toencourage a positive behavior

Lasts only a very short time - shortTime Outs help

maintain a childs hope & motivation.

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Group Activity 1.9

Negative Choices1. Hitting2. Breaking a toy on purpose

3. ?4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

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Teach ing Too ls

Taking time to teach kids a better way

Everyday Life Example:Your supervisor shows you how

to safely use a new machine

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Group Activity 1.10

Teaching Tools1. Hitting2. Purposefully breaking a toy

3. ?

4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

7. ?8. ?

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Designing Effective

Time OutsAppropriate? Does the behavior deserve aTime Out? - willful or just a mistake.

Brief? Will it last just a short time? -consequences must fit the way kids think.

Consistent? Am I willing to follow througheverytime and for the entiretime period?

Design? Whats the whole picture? -what happens, where and how?

Educate? Did we take the time to plan &teach a better way?

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Group Activity 1.11

Childs List1. ?2. ?

3. ?4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

7. ?

8. ?

9. ?10.?

11.?

12.?

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THIS is Our Childs List


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T.E.A.S.P.O.T.

Take everythingaway,

for a shortperiod of time.

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Choosing the Spot?

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Using Self-L im it ing Time Outs

to encourage (AKA motivate)our children to do important yet

unfun activities

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Group Activity 1.12

Unfun Tasks1. Child needs to complete homework2. Child needs to pick up toys

3. ?4. ?

5. ?

6. ?

7. ?

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Self-Limiting Time Outs

Used to encouragepositive behaviors

No use of a timer

Time OutArea is a

boring place

Length of Time Outis determined by thechild

Child does not leaveTime Out Areaexcept to dorequested task

Child leaves whenready to do therequested task

Child takes as

much timeas heneeds

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Group Activity 1.13: ABCs

Appropriate?

Brief?

Consistent?

Design? (what, when, where & how)

Educate? (plan & teach a better way)

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Review Activity 1.141. If parents have a strong-willed child, traditional

parenting techniques may not _________.

2. Parents must tell their children how much they areloved every _______.

3. Although parents cannot control their children, parentscan control the _______ their children enjoy.

4. Parents should give their child Positive ______whenthey catch their child doing something right.

5. _______ term Time Outs are more effective than long-term Time Outs because they fit the way children think.

6. When children refuse to do a requested task, parentsshould use a ______ ________ Time Out.

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Most Powerful Idea I

Learned in Unit 1: ? ?

? ?

?

?

?

?

?

? ?

?

?

?

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Home PracticeTell your child how much they are loved every

day this week.Catch your child doing something right, and give

him/her a Positive Stroke.

If you find it necessary to use a Self-Limiting

Time Out, follow the guidelines in this unit.Remember the ABCs of Time Outs:

Appropriate, Brief, Consistent, Design, andEducate a better way.

Make sure you bring back your

success stories to share with your

support group next week.

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Next Week

Ideals , Ru les and Too ls

Learn how to communicate your expectations,

standards, and values to your children

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Words of WisdomI wish I would have held you closer, hugged

and kissed you more when you were little.

Parent Author Unknown

PARENTS, nows the time!

Loving Solutions Chapter 1 (1)

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