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Love Sickness

In the Name of Allh, the Most Beneficent, the Most MercifulBy no means is love a sickness in and of itself. Indeed, it is the only known cure for

many of the problems and ailments that we as human beings suffer from. However,

love can turn into an illness if it becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper

bounds, or if the object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love

indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy.It is Allahs order in the world that he sends down to it no affliction without sending

down with it its cure. Love is no exception.The treatment of this illness is as follows:1. As with all diseases, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.This is why we must lower our gazes and resist taking a second glance at a member

of the opposite sex who attracts us. Allah says: Say to the believing men that they

should lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for

them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. (30) And say to the believing

women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity [Srah al-Nr

24:30-31] } ...{ :03-0

Transliteration:Qul lilmumineena yaghuddoo min absarihum wayahfathoofuroojahum thalika azka lahum inna Allaha khabeerun bima yasnaAAoona (30)

Waqul lilmuminati yaghdudna min absarihinna wayahfathna furoojahunnaWe can see how Allah first issues the command to believing men, then repeats thecommand for believing women, thus emphasizing the importance of lowering our

gazes. The fact that Allah addresses members of each sex individually shows just

how important and relevant this matter is to people of both sexes. Indeed, these

verses are one of the few occasions where Allah addresses men and women

separately in the Qurn.The look is the beginning that can lead to progressively greater ills. This is why Allah

mentions it first, and then follows it up with the command for us to guard our

chastity.

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A poet long ago observed:A glance, a smile, a friendly hello,Some chatting, a date, then off they go!If some of us find it difficult to carry out this command, they should write these

verses down on a sheet of paper and hang them on their wall or place them on the

dashboardwhatever it takes to remind them.2. Thinking about the consequences is often a sobering dose of medicine.The ability to think about the far-reaching consequences of our actions is one of the

distinctive qualities that set humanity apart from other animals. This is why a person

just does not go ahead and do everything that tickles his fancy. He first has to thinkabout what is behind it and what will come of it.For instance, he might pause to think, before embarking upon a certain course of

action, that if he does so, he might succumb to AIDS. He might reflect upon how

that dreaded disease has already claimed tens of millions of lives, how some of

those who were carefulwho chose only one sexual partner who even had an AIDS

testnevertheless came down with the disease.

How many people like that do we hear about, some of whom come out and admitthat the disease befell them as a punishment from Allah, and hoping that it might at

least expiate for their sin?The same can be said for all the other sexually transmitted diseases. The worst thing

of all is to think that an indiscreet man can infect his pious, faithful, and chaste wife

with one of these vile diseases.Another consequence to think about is pregnancy. A man who had repented for his

sins once admitted to me that he had intentionally chosen to involve himself with awoman who was sterile. Regardless, Allah wanted her to fall pregnant and she did.We should not be heedless of the consequences of our actions. Does anyone want

to be responsible for someone coming into this world with no idea who his father is;

someone who starts out life already disadvantaged?Maybe one of us will pay the price for his misdeed in this world. Maybe he will get

away with it here, going through life unrepentant and unscathed, only to be

humiliated for it before the eyes of all on the Day of Judgment.

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Some of the evil consequences of this behavior are psychological in nature. A man,

once enamored of women, gets to the point that he can never be satisfied. He

eternally craves variety and no degree of beauty is enough. Because of this, he may

find himself eternally forbidden the lawful pleasure to be found within marriage. His

senses and his sentiments have all been dulled.Some young men travel abroad and spend their time in the company of prostitutes

and other women of ill repute, but if one of them were ever to hear that his wife

back home so much as looked at another man indiscreetly, he would divorce her on

the spot.One man lamented:I would forsake all the women of the world for the sake of one

woman whom I knew would get worried if I came home at night a little bit late.

This is the sentiment of any man who possesses wisdom.3. The communion of lawful love is the best cure of all.

All of the stories of love that we find in our literaturewhether it be that of Jaml

and Buthaynah, Kuthayyir and `Azzah, Qays and Layl, or for that matter their

English equivalent Romeo and Julietdeal with the anguish of unrequited love.Allah has placed in what is lawful all that we need so we can dispense with what He

has made unlawful. It provides the most fulfilling, satisfying, and deepest expressionof love.The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: We see for those who are in love nothing

better than marriage. [Sunan Ibn Mjah (1837)with a good chain of transmission]

Lawful matrimony is what brings healing to the heart and removes its disquiet. If it

is not written for a certain man and women to come together in matrimony, each ofthem should have faith that there are many others out there with whom Allah can

enrich them with a meaningful and loving relationship.4. Resignation and a willingness to forsake what is wrong.No matter how painful it may be to part, it is sometimes necessary. The Prophet

(peace be upon him) said: Whoever maintains his chastity, does so with the grace

of Allah. Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah has enriched him.

Whoever is patient draws his fortitude from Allah. And no one has been given a gift

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better or more bountiful than patience. [Sahh al-Bukhr (1469) and Sahh Muslim

(1547)]

Whoever gives something up for Allahs sake should know that Allah will give him in

its stead something far better.5. Channeling ones energies and abilities into what is nobler, more precious, and

sublimethe love of AllahWe express this love by bringing benefit to His creatures, by our obedience to Him,

by our prayers, our fasts, our remembrance of Him, our supplications, and ourhumility. We do so by keeping the company of righteous people and by aspiring to

the noblest and most beneficial of goals.We should channel our energies into what benefits us in our worldly lives and in our

faith. Allah says: SeekAllahs help with patience and perseverance. It is indeed

difficult except upon those who are humble. [Srah al-Baqarah 2:45]} 47:}

Transliteration: WaistaAAeenoo bialssabri waalssalati wainnaha lakabeeratun illa

AAala alkhashiAAeenaHe says: Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him. [Srah al-Talq

65:3]}... 0:}...

Transliteration:waman yatawakkal AAala Allahi fahuwa hasbuhu

A heart that is full of concern for others will be a heart that is full of lovebut not a

slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls stricken for any visitor who graces its

doorstep.We should take full advantage of our lives and be as productive as possible. We

need to develop our talents, our minds, and put our creativity into practice. Yes! Be

enamoredbut be enamored of truth and knowledge. Be fully in lovebut be in

love with righteousness.

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