1 Health-related Fitness Components Dr. Suzan Ayers HPER Dept Western Michigan University.
Love and Emotions HPER F258 – Marriage and Family Interaction.
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Transcript of Love and Emotions HPER F258 – Marriage and Family Interaction.
![Page 1: Love and Emotions HPER F258 – Marriage and Family Interaction.](https://reader036.fdocuments.in/reader036/viewer/2022062417/5518236d55034691678b4995/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Love and Emotions
HPER F258 – Marriage and Family Interaction
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What is Love? Who Could You Love?• In your small groups,
– List at least 10 ideal characteristics for a mate and 10 characteristics that would be “deal breakers.”
– Answer these questions:• How did you choose the qualities of your ideal?
What influenced your choices and decisions?• How does your ideal reflect your upbringing,
including both family and cultural influences? • In what ways do your parents contribute to your
ideal image?
– How would you know when you have found your ideal partner?
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Emotions Are at the Heart of the Family's Ability to
Influence Us
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Attachment and how it relates to our view of love (Bowlby)
• Attachment theory “an affectional tie with some other differentiated and preferred individual who is usually conceived as stronger and/or wiser”
• Individuals have a tendency to build strong emotional bonds to specific others
• If you have not formed a secure bond as a child, it affects your ability to form solid relationships later in life
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Non-rational bonds
• Bonds that are based on a feeling or feelings, not logic- based
• The lack of rationality makes them powerful– Remember that anything that is
“hidden” from rational/ intellectual processing can influence us without our knowing that it’s there
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Invisible loyalties(Boszormenyi-Nagy)
• Generational loyalties (not necessarily positive)
• Holding onto ideas of “how things should be” because of family experiences
• Being unable to break patterns• Not culturally based, but inherent to
family relationships (accd. to B-N)• Ethical loyalties – a “family ledger”
where everyone has obligations to the family – can be unhealthy
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Chronic Family Anxiety
• Different from individual anxieties• Chronic family anxiety is long-term
negative emotions in the family’s emotional system.
• Result from – low tolerance for intimacy and
individuality– High levels of conflict– Animosity– Anxiety among family members
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Family Ties and Love Relationships
• Think back to the Epigenesis Principle and when we as individuals first begin to relate to– the idea of loving– preferring one person over another– expectations for relationships
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Article facilitation (Tues.) – Relationships and Romantic
Expectations
• In your small group, discuss article #6, “This Thing Called Love”
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Distance Regulation
• In families, a balance must be found between being too close and too distant
• Differentiation – to become separate and unique– Not same as cut-off
• Undifferentiated = fusion
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Differentiation/Fusion Principle
• Families with higher levels of negativity, hostility, and animosity are more likely to have unhealthy levels of connectedness (fusion) in family life.
• This spirit of contention and control in families impairs children’s ability to develop a strong inner identity.
• They remain overly connected to their family of origin (enmeshed).
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So…
• Emotionally healthy family environment allows for individuation of family members
• An emotionally unhealthy family environment results in family members who are emotionally fused…even if they appear disengaged.
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Balancing closeness and distance (process)
• Families exist in perpetual confrontation between the quest for autonomy and jointness (Sprey)
• Efforts to balance autonomy vs. inclusion
• Balancing between connection and partition
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Distancing and pursuing
• Relational space– Metaphoric, not concrete space– Sense of closeness vs. distance in
relationship– Tied to comfort level with that level of
closeness
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The Mating Game
• Your discussion leader will give you the instructions – they’re complex)
• After you’ve played the game:– What has this game taught you about
your expectations, attitudes and standards?
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Final Thoughts on Lecture Material
• Identify at least one important point in the class. Give this to your discussion leader.
• If anything was unclear, write that down, too.