BUILDING RESILIENT CHILDREN:

EMPOWERING YOUR STUDENT

Lori Counsell, M.Ed., NCCKate Lepley, M.Ed.

New Town Elementary School Counseling Team

What is Resiliency?

Children possess the inner strength to deal competently with the challenges and demands they encounter each day

Independence Coping Skills Problem Solving

Skills Hopefulness

Why Build Resilience?

STUDENTS WHO ARE RESILIENT:

Deal with stress and pressure

Cope with every day challenges

Bounce back from disappointments

Deal effectively with adversity and trauma

Develop clear and realistic goal

Relate comfortably to others

Treat self and others with respect

Looking Forward

RESILIENT ADULT: NON-RESILIENT ADULT:

Copes effectively with stress and pressure

Can learn from mistakes and failures

Takes ownership of behavior and circumstances

Accountable and responsible

Victims of environment, experience

Can’t move past mistakes and failures

Blames others for mistakes and circumstances

More likely to commit crimes; have mental health concerns

So How Do We Build Resiliency?

Teaching Empathy By Practicing Empathy

Teaching Responsibility Teaching Decision-Making and

Problem Solving Skills Offering Encouragement and

Positive Feedback Helping Children Deal with Mistakes

Building Empathy By Practicing Empathy

HOW TO TEACH IT:EXAMPLE:

Listen closely to what children have to say

Validate how they are feeling/what they say

Avoid preaching, lecturing, blaming, and judging

“I know you are having trouble with your math homework. Many kids do. Maybe together we can figure out what will help.” instead of “Try harder.” “

Think: Would we want anyone to speak with us the way we are speaking

with our children? How would our children describe us at this moment? How would we

hope they described us?

Teaching Responsibility

HOW TO TEACH IT: EXAMPLE:

Provide children with the opportunity to contribute at home, school, or community

Help children learn to accept responsibility for their choices, both good and bad.

Allow students to do chores and find ways to help on their own: watering plants, donating to fundraisers/food drives/etc., tutoring others, etc.

Teaching Decision-Making and Problem-Solving Skills

HOW TO DO IT: EXAMPLE:

Help children articulate problem areas

Help children brainstorm solutions to problems without giving them the answer

Allow the child to pick their own solution and try it

Afterwards, assess the results of their solution

When a child has a friendship problem, discuss ways to solve the problem. Make a list of possible solutions and allow the student to select one they think will work best. After they have tried it, revisit the solution to see how it worked. Reflect on whether or not that would be a good choice again.

Offering Encouragement and Positive Feedback

HOW TO DO IT: EXAMPLE:

Convey realistic appreciation to children and help them feel special and important to us

Praise positive decisions and responsible actions often

Be specific in your praise– I really like the way you cleaned your room without being asked. That shows responsibility!

Spend special time alone with your children

Write a positive note of love or appreciation

Hug your child often

Helping ChildrenDeal With Mistakes

HOW TO DO IT: EXAMPLE:

Relieve fear and anxiety often felt about making mistakes

Lead by example- point out a mistake when you make one and show how you can learn from your mistake.

Say, “I’m glad you tried that even though it didn’t work out!”

Read about famous people that made mistakes that led them to be more successful.

Thank You!

Any questions?