8 LKNparents.com | winter 2012

We all want to teach our children to share. Sharing is the act of lending an item that you expect to receive back. Sharing can be splitting your sandwich in half at lunchtime

or sharing a smile or kind thought. Adults get the notion they may never see that item ever again in its original state. In some ways children have this feeling also. That is why sharing a treasured item is difficult. Regardless, the act of sharing is valuable to expect and teach.

Giving is different than sharing since we don’t expect to receive anything in return. The bonus is the positive feeling we get from giving. We can give our time, talents and resources and everyone has each of these in some capacity.

The benefits of modeling and teaching children to give are that a child starts thinking outside of his own desires and self worth increases, especially when a child realizes he is valuable and has something to give. In Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” he states,

“Every family must take time to renew itself in the four areas of life: physical, social, mental and spiritual.”

Supporting a cause accomplishes this renewal. Ideas include birthday parties where requests are made for dog food for the local animal shelter or book bags for children at the homeless shelter instead of a gift for the birthday child. Children can participate in community gardens and volunteer at assisted living facilities. It is important to let your child know how you feel about their willingness to forego their own wants and acknowledge that giving, just like sharing, is not always easy and congratulate them for making a difficult choice.

Tammy Littlejohn, MA, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist, and owner of Wind and Water Counseling in Cornelius. windandwatercounseling.com.

THE PARENT’S COMPASS

GIVING AND SHARINGBy Tammy Littlejohn, MA, LMFT

winter 2012 | LKNparents.com 21

There are a number of signs a child needs a tutor,

including difficulty doing homework, poor test grades, trouble completing assignments, frustration, or decreased self-confidence.

Before hiring a tutor, sit down and discuss the need with your child, says Beverly Stewart, president and director of Back-to-Basics Learning Dynamics. “Make the conversation as positive as possible. You are trying to get the child to buy in,” Stewart says. Try a tactic such as saying, “You know how reading is kind of hard sometimes? Well, we’re going to meet with someone who can help you.” Most kids are alright with that because they don’t like the feeling of struggling or being behind their classmates.

Where to LookAfter you have talked with your child, try to get recommendations. Ask your child’s teacher or other school personnel. Other parents are good resources, too. Is there someone they recommend?

Check credentials to find the most qualified person and best fit for your child. Look not only at degrees, but also at experience and teaching style.

Call or make an appointment to speak with the tutor. Consider his or her personality and attitude. Is she upbeat and positive? Does he take the child’s learning style into account

when tutoring? Is the potential tutor available at a time that works best for your child?

on the CLoCkWith kids’ extracurricular activities and parents’ work schedules, finding the right time for tutoring sessions can be difficult.

“There needs to be a lot of flexibility so the sessions are held at a good time for the child and the family,” says Liz Holter, a Sylvan Learning Center director. And that means a time when the child learns best. Some children, Holter says, do best right after school. Others need a break before tackling academics again.

Measure your child’s progress over time. “Our center does periodic progress reports,” Holter says. “We check off goals and redefine them, if necessary. This lets parents know what is happening. They have a monetary investment in this and deserve to know what is being accomplished.”

Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children.

QUeStIonS to ASk When ChooSInG A tUtorWhat ages do you tutor?

Is it for remedial work only, or do you provide enrichment and maintenance support?

What subjects do you offer?

Do you have summer programs?

Do you offer diagnostic testing? Is it required?

Do you tutor in small groups or individually?

Where does the tutoring take place?

What qualifications do the tutors have?

If my child has a problem with the tutor, can we request another?

How often will my child attend tutoring sessions?

Can sessions be worked around my family’s schedule?

How often will I receive updates and progress reports?

What is the duration of the contract?

How much do you charge?

Are there any added fees?

HOW TO FIND A TUTOR By Denise Yearian

24 LKNparents.com | winter 2012