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Friday Night Live in Caracas

by De ni s Brott

After touring wi th the Orford S tr ing Quar te t for almost a decade, I had come to the

conclus ion t ha t I would mee t my maker in t he back seat of a t ax i a s I rushed t o cat ch

a flight to Rio or as I t ried to get from eathrow to !igmore all in order to star t a

"er fo rma nc e on time#

arrowing ex"er iences were many, but by far the most frightening of my l ife

ha""ened in t he summer of $%&' when t he Orfo rd toured South Amer ica#

It began with t he "er fo rmance schedu le # ()ead* t ime( is an anathema to the S "an ish

way and, t hus , +ust weeks before t he Quar t et was t o de"a r t , t he seuence of citi es

sti ll remained a mystery#

!hen confi rmat ion fina lly came, e ight days before de"ar ture , we real i-ed they had

us in three ci ti es in three days wi th no t ime in between# .here in was a big "roblem#

.he only f light from Bogota to /aracas did not arr i0e at Simon Boli0ar 1 the

/ar ibbean a ir"or t tha t ser0es /aracas2 unt il ' 344 " #m# Reali-ing that /aracas li es

%56 mete r s 17, $76 feet 2 abo0e sea l e0el , s e"ara t ed from the ai r"or t by 85

kilometers 1$5 miles2 of cliff side swi tch back highway, we wondered how we were

going t o make it to t he beau t iful , su"e r* modern , 7, 444 seat .e resa /are9o /oncert

al l by the &344 " #m# s tart ing time# :resumably, the organi-ers knew what they

were doing, but why were they doing it; :inchas ?

Slowly, the South American solution to the "roblem emerged3

a 2 change t he conce rt time t o %344 " #m#@b2 as k th e ar ti sts to ch ange on th e "lane, su "erm a n st yle 1re "l ace te le"hon e bo oth

with washroom2@

c2 whisk the uar te t through immigrat ion and cus toms 1with a l it tl e "a lm grease2

and "ro0ide a "res ident ial * s tyle escor t 1 two l imos , two motorcycles and a "ol ice car 2

to the concer t hal l#

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And so i t ha""ened # .o make ma tt e r s worse , our " lane a rri 0ed la te # By the time

Andy, en, Rob and I emerged from the ar ri0als area it was a lready &344 " #m# .he

man who was t o look af te r t he luggage a sked me if I wan t ed t o "ut t he cell o i n the

cargo bed of a " ick*u" truck# I decl ined (con mucho gusto( # 1y $'46 .ecchler cello

wouldn C t t ake kindly to that # It was ha0ing enough t rouble dealing wi th the %5

t em"era tu re and so""ing humidi ty ## #t he hai r on my : ecca t t e bow was al ready

sagging like grandmot her C s chin? 2

As we s tood on the tarmac, two whi te limos a""eared out of nowhere , followed

closely by two helmeted "ol ice on motorcycles # .hey wore bul le t* "roof 0es ts ,

l ea ther mili ta ry boots and mir rored sunglasses # # # the "erfec t image# (Signor, the

"o lice ar e her e to es cort us to th e concert hal l(, on e of th e dri0 er s sa id#

I fel t 0ery honoured , e0en embar r as sed , a t a ll t he a tt en ti on # (S ee how im"ort an t

music is to these "eo"le?( I thought # y contem"lat ion on the s ignificance of music

in S"anish cul ture was soon to t ransform into thoughts of a more frant ic nature #

!ith a screech of rubber , the ordeal began# Eockeying for "os it ion, the dri0er of

each car wanted to assure tha t he was fir st # Andy and Rob were in one limo, en

and I in the other # !ith the motorcycles leading the way, the entourage tore off

toward /aracas # .raf fic o0er the mounta in from the a ir"or t to /aracas was 0i rtua l

"ande m o niu m# Because of th e u" ward gr ad e, many ca rs ha d o0 erhea t e d an d

brok en do wn , blocki ng traf fic# .ruck s inch ed along at a sn ai lC s "a ce, bel chi ng diesel

fumes into our (air condit ioned( cars# .his was no Rocky ountain igh?

Fene-uelan dri0ers a ttend the lead foot school of dr i0ing and regard the "olice wi th

the kind of di sdain usual ly reser0ed for cockroaches and other "es t s# .hey a lso

ha0e magne ti c bum"er s t ha t gl eam in ant ic i"a ti on of imminen t a tt ack# Our d ri 0e rs

had a""aren t ly been gi0en s tri ct o rde rs to do wha te0e r necessa ry to ge t us t o t he

concer t on time# .aking thei r (miss ion im"oss ible( to hear t , they barged betweenlanes of traf fic, ski rted around on ser0ice roads and dodged between cars to bul ly

the ir way t hrough # I wondered if t hey were emula ti ng t he o"en ing chase scene in

Be0erly ills /o"?

Des"ite our toreador dri0er C s wild wea0ing, our car couldn C t kee" "ace wi th the

"o lice es cort# In on e br a0e at tem "t to ca tch u" , he do 0e between two ca rs, st abbing

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for the o"en s"ace # In the result ing and ine0i table im"act , I was thrown to one side

of the car and crushed between t he fibergl a s s cell o case and t he car door# .he

shock of the colli sion left me lim" and numb# I broke in to a cold sweat # I had 0isions

of our mangled wreck lef t on the s ide of the highway, hel"less ly abandoned#

=urious , our dri0e r +um"ed out and launched a 0erbal a tt ack on t he innocent lady

whose car and our s were now one # is abus i0e scr eaming and yelli ng was soon

o0er"owered by a caco"hony t he likes of which I had ne0e r heard ## #t he ama-ing

noi semaker s t ha t "ass for horns on Fene-ue l an automobil e s #

Our dr i0er fina lly got back into the car , s lammed the gearshi f t in to dri0e and

"rom"tly st al led it dead in its trac ks# Billows of st ea m waft ed u" fro m th e en gi ne

co m" a rt m e n t a s h e m ad ly " um " e d th e g as " ed a l like a c ra -e d ho rs e m a n whi "" in ghis mount # Ama-ingly, it res tar ted and we began to search in 0ain for our long* lost

escort#

owe0er , we were not yet out of death Cs reach# )ike Don Quixote a ttacking the

windmil ls , the dri0er insanely charged o0er the median in to oncoming t raffic# I

crouched into fe ta l "osi tion# !ith the nausea of hel"lessness o0ercoming my e0ery

sense , sure t ha t each second would be my l as t, t he blur o f headl igh t s became a

sur real i st ic whi rl of s trobes in a di sco* like dance of death # .ime became a re0er ie

into obl i0ion# .he descending whine of horns , like a ir * ra id si rens , whooshed by our

car # .hey were so c lose, you could fee l the wind buffe t the car with a shi0er ing

shudder # Our 0eh ic le was a wea"on of death , a bu ll et ex" lod ing from the bar re l of a

shotgun# Our dri0er was the maniac "ul ling back the t rigger , " laying Russian

roule t te wi th our li0es # .he on*coming wa0e of laser* like lights suddenly "arted#

)ike the wat e rs of the Red S ea, t he road widened t o ano ther lane and t he median

di sa""ea red # !e en t er ed a t unne l and became one with t he right s tr eam of tr affi c#

As we e m er g e d , th e m ar u e e of t he th ea t e r mir ac ul ou s ly a "" e a r e d d ea d a he a d #

.hat t hea t e r cou ld +ust a s well ha0e been t he gat e s of Gir0ana # ## we had e sca"ed t he+aws of disas ter #

!ith scant few minutes to s"are , we rushed through the cor ridors , burs t in to our

dres sing rooms , whi""ed out our inst rument s and s trode on s t age #

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=or me, s tage fright has a lways been a force to be reckoned wi th , but af ter thi s

death* defying odyssey, I was +ust glad to be al i0e?