Literacy Report

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Page 1: Literacy Report

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Bridgeport High

School Report

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DANIEL BRADFORD

Feedback for Daniel

Hi Daniel, you’ve made a good start here.

I can see you remembered the important

part of the story which is that Bruno and

Shmuel become loyal friends. Do you

remember where his Dad was in the end?

When you’re writing an essay like this,

it’s really important to start with an

introduction and finish with a conclusion.

You need to argue your point. Imagine

you are a lawyer in court. Your

introduction in this essay should be telling

me what theme you think is important. For

example, your introduction might be

something like this:

“The most important theme in John

Boyne’s book is friendship. This essay will

focus on the friendship between Bruno and

Shmuel.”

Your conclusion might be something like this:

“Clearly, the most important theme in this story is friendship, especially the loyal friendship between Bruno and

Shmuel.”

As you can see it doesn’t have to be too long at this stage. You can do it Daniel!

You’re missing some words in some of your sentences Daniel, can you tell what they should be? Write them in

the blanks below:

“It important because he know where his Dad is”

“He is a prisoner Nazis in a camp.”

Here are some words that you spelled incorrectly Daniel, could you please check the proper spelling (if you get stuck, check the dictionary or you can google them)

Importint

Dont

BecausWhar Priznar

Brunno

BealinShmul Friends(This is a tricky one, “friends” is a word, but in this sentence, the word should be slightly different. Hint: thinkabout how many people you are talking about).

I particularly the bit in your essay where you said that Bruno was a prisoner too, even though he wasn’t in the

prison (Auschwitz). This is a really good point Daniel, I can see you were paying attention during that lesson.

Keep up your work Daniel, you can become a really good writer if you put your mind to it!

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Annotations of the features of Daniel’s work sample:

Challenges that Daniel faces:

Comprehension and self-regulation, will be an ongoing challenge for Daniel because of

his ‘intellectual impairment’ and unsupportive home environment (“Student Summaries”, n.d

p. 4). However, these issues are further compounded by the fact that Daniel is not actually

able to read or write properly and is already far behind his classmates.

This is in line with educational research on special needs students such as Daniel which

suggests that ‘novels and nonfiction can create special problems for reluctant or less

successful readers because of their length’ (Board of Studies, 2012, p. 2-3). It is very likely

that Daniel has not read the novel, not only because he probably does not want to, but

because it is beyond his ability.

Refers to the theme of

friendship studied in class

Refers to major

plot point

Basic knowledge of

historical context

Singular and

collective pronouns

Consistent

use of3rd

person

throughout

Simple present

tense throughout

Actionverb

Preposition

Articles "the"

Connective

Conjunctions

Recognises that Bruno's

context makes him

powerlessalso

Broadly identifies

text type

Some evidence of

editing for spelling,

and word choice

Attempt at

constructing a

complex sentence

Compound sentence

Broadly identifies

plot and protagonists

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It is important for teachers to recognise that students like Daniel have ‘different reading

needs’ (Winch, 2007, p. 54) than the majority in his class. Part of the issue is that Daniel’s

home environment probably does not encourage reading for meaning, which Wooley and

Hay identify as a crucial element in building a student’s reading and writing skills. They note

that students from working class homes often have ‘poor comprehension and [show] little

interest and motivation for reading’ (2007, p. 10-11). This makes writing an essay all the

more difficult because Daniel does not have a firm grasp of reading or writing, let alone

structuring a response in expository form.

Daniel’s writing, grammar and spelling are about stage 2 level. His response is mostly

made up of simple statements in present tense. It is lacking in depth and analysis, suggesting

that he is not familiar with the text. Daniel’s sentences sometimes lack articles and

prepositions and subject-verb agreement: ‘He is a prizner Nazis in a camp’, ‘It important

because’. While Daniel has corrected some incorrect spelling, this is clearly also an area

where he needs help: ‘prizner’, ‘importint’, ‘whar’, ‘Bealin’, etc.

In his response, Daniel refers to broad plot points of the novel rather than selecting a

theme to focus on. This could suggest that he hasn’t understood the question properly,

because he does not have the tools to decode what the task requires. Daniel’s response is also

very short compared to his classmates’ indicating that he either a) struggled to compose a

response in the given time, b) didn’t know what else to write or c) was disengaged from the

task. It is possible that all three reasons were at play here.

Daniel needs to be given the opportunity to develop his reading and writing in a safe,

unpressured environment where the requirements of the task match his level of ability.

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Recommendations for Strengthening Daniel’s Literacy

In particular, Daniel needs to be supported in his reading and writing skills, as Hanlen

(2010) suggests that low ability in these areas ‘form [a] basis for inequity’ (p. 3) in Australian

society. This notion is supported by O’Toole, Burke, & Absalom (2012) where they assert

that reading and writing fluency is ‘crucial in twenty-first century mainstream Australia’ (p.

22).

It is recommended that Daniel’s existing reading skills are strengthened and developed

through one on one reading tutoring drawing on the Pause, Prompt, Praise procedure (see

page 7 below). This lesson structure will specifically be aimed at engaging Daniel, and

developing his reading skills, with a focus on problem solving and inferring meaning.

This is in line with research from the Department of Employment, Education, Training

and Youth Affairs (DEETYA) that notes that students like Daniel need to be engaged through

fun learning activities where they can ‘experience success easily’ (DEETYA, 1999, p. 16).

This means selecting activities that are challenging but achievable for Daniel, and frequently

providing encouragement and positive feedback. The NSW Board of Studies recommends

that students like Daniel who struggle with reading should be supported with books that are

interesting and engaging:

Books that are easy and enjoyable to read but which address the same demands and

interests as books for better readers…When students are given access to good writers,

their resistance to reading can be overcome and they can gain confidence that the books

others read are not beyond them. (2012, pp. 2-3)

Recommended stage 2 texts that might suit Daniel for this exercise include The Little

Refugee by Anh Do, or The Peasant Prince by Li Cunxin. These texts include lots of pictures

and could be a good starting point for engagement (Callow, 2010).

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A reading tutor will help Daniel read these texts, and others, aided by the Pause,

Prompt, Praise technique. The focus will be on acquiring ‘accuracy and fluency’ (DEETYA,

1999, p. 14), as the first crucial steps in acquiring a new skill. Daniel will be encouraged with

praise for his efforts throughout this process, as this is recognised as a crucial step in

engaging special needs students who struggle with reading.

Furthermore, by helping Daniel to pause and decipher the meaning of words from their

context (also by drawing on the context of the pictures on the page), this exercise will help

establish inferential patterns that Daniel can use in much harder texts like The Boy in the

Striped Pyjamas. It is recommended that Daniel aim to read this text later on with his tutor

when he has developed his skills, since he already knows the basic plot and this contextual

knowledge will assist him in decoding words and their meaning.

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(DEETYA, 1999, p. 30)

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HUI CHING CHEN

Feedback for Hui Ching

You’ve made a good start here. Hui Ching

you have a very clear structure in your essay

which you should be proud of!

When you’re writing an essay like this, you

need to argue your point a bit more. Imagine

you are a trying to convince people who

disagree with you! Did you run out of time

for a conclusion?

Next time, you could write a conclusion like

this:

“Clearly, the most important theme in this

story is friendship, especially the loyal

friendship between Bruno and Shmuel.”

Once or twice you’ve used a word

incorrectly however, see below:

“This is not a normal friendship because the boys different lives”

Choose the correct word to fill in the blank: A) take B) lead C) desire

I’ve noticed you’ve used the word ‘different’ a lot in your essay Hui Ching, can you think of some other words

you might use? (Use the thesaurus if you have to). When we write essays it’s a good idea not to use exactly the

same words all the time, or else we run the risk of being too repetitive.

Hui Ching your spelling is excellent, I couldn’t find one misspelled word! Keep practicing your writing Hui

Ching, I know you’ll make a very good writer someday.

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Annotations of the features of Hui Ching’s work sample:

Challenges that Hui Ching faces:

Hui Ching’s work sample demonstrates a fair attempt at answering the question, though

it appears she ran out of time to finish her response. The modality and structure of her essay

is quite good. She has written in a formal tone, with a short introduction and two body

paragraphs, however, the brevity and incomplete nature of her writing here suggests that she

struggled with this task.

Opening statement

and basic thesis

Events in sequence

Further Explanation,

Logical sequence

Correctly identifies loyalty

as a key relational theme

Evidence of loyalty,

logical sequence/support

Evidence to reinforce argument

Identifies major

plot point

Basic Knowledge

of different

historical context

Topic sentence 1:

Becoming friends

Topic sentence 2: Loyalty

Singular and

plural pronouns

Consistent

use of3rd

person

throughout

Collective Pronouns

Present continuous tense

Pasttense

Simple

present tense

Actionverb

Prepositions

Articles "the"

Synonymous Adjectives

shows developing control

of vocabulary Connective

Conjunctions

Complex, and

proper nouns

Capitalisation of

words in text title

Broadly identifies

text type

Present simple tense

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Though Hui Ching’s spelling is perfect, she sometimes mistakes the meaning of words:

‘the boys are different lives’. It appears she has also taken ‘theme’ and ‘relationship’ to be

interchangeable. The task required students to select a theme, but in her introduction Hui

Ching ignores that word altogether, instead stating that ‘the important relationship is between

Bruno and Shmuel’.

In the EAL/D advice section on ACARA’s website, it is noted that using words

correctly in writing is a typical challenge for EAL/D students, who ‘will have had limited

exposure to these words’ (“Overview and Advice”, 2014, p. 17). The fact that Hui Ching’s

spelling is excellent while her content is quite minimal reflects research which suggests that

rather than using semantic-based prompts, parents from Asian and working class

backgrounds tended to have their children read every word correctly. They tended to

view reading as an exercise in precision with an emphasis on word accuracy, rather

than meaning. (Wooley & Hay, 2007, p. 10-11)

This means that it is challenging for students like Hui Ching to express themselves with depth

and variation. In her work sample she repeats herself a lot, drawing on very similar phrases to

get her point across: ‘they come from different worlds’ ‘the boys are very different lives’ ‘the

relationship between Bruno and Shmuel is very different’. Additionally, because EAL/D

students typically have a much smaller vocabulary, it is easy for them to miss subtle

differences in meaning, which can lead to disengagement and educational disillusionment.

It is also notable that Hui Ching often slips between present simple tense, present

continuous and past tense. Clearly she needs help with these language conventions. Thus it is

important that Hui Ching is supported in developing her knowledge and use the ‘specialist

language’ of English (O’Toole et al., 2012, p. 2).

According to Howard (2009), mastering verbal communication should be a priority for

Hui Ching, since ‘it has been found that students’ English proficiency…is a strong predictor

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of high school drop-out rates’ (p. 3) and ‘ESL students who can speak well are less likely to

repeat a grade or drop out of school and more likely to go on to post-secondary studies’ (p.

4). Thus, while Hui Ching’s response does demonstrate that she is engaging with the task, she

needs assistance particularly in extending her English vocabulary and fluency.

Recommendations for Strengthening Hui Ching’s Literacy

Hui Ching needs support in extending her English vocabulary in particular. This

reflects literature which suggests that EAL/D students ‘need targeted instruction and

structured opportunities to develop language proficiency and literacy’ (Alberta & Curriculum

Branch, 2009, p. 1). It would be beneficial for Hui Ching to spend some time with the school

tutor doing the oral description activities described below.

It is important that Hui Ching’s family and culture are respected in this process. Hui

Ching does not need to be ‘fixed’ and should not be framed in terms of her ‘deficits’

(Hinchman & Sheridan-Thomas, 2014, p. 81). Rather, the tutoring should be seen as an

opportunity that can give Hui Ching a stronger ‘sense of place in the wider

society’ (Atkinson, 2014, p. 13). The activities, taken from the Year 7 Programming and

Strategies Handbook are described below:

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(DEETYA, 1999, p. 72)

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Activity Notes:

For the 'Matching pairs' activity, it would be appropriate to theme the pictures around

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. For instance, there could be cards showing different scenes

from the story, with subtle differences. Hui Ching must then verbally describe these

differences to her tutor.

In the ‘Picture Completion’ activity, themes that the children have been studying over

the semester could be incorporated. It would be helpful for Hui Ching to have to match

themes - Prejudice, Innocence, Courage, Loyalty, Betrayal, Friendship - with different scenes

in the story, and have a go at describing how these themes are present. In addition, this

exercise could be supplemented with literary device 'tags' which have been studied during the

term - Foreshadowing, Irony, Symbolism, Flashbacks. It could be helpful for Hui Ching to

match this specific KLA vocabulary with the different scenes, and describe how they are

present in the text.

In the ‘Communicative Crossword’ activity, key concepts from the novel, including key

quotes could be hidden which Hui Ching must try to decipher and explain.

These exercises will give Hui Ching practice using new words and phrases and also

connecting the meaning of words and KLA terms to their contexts. It is hoped that this will

extend her vocabulary and improve her confidence and fluency in English so that her literacy

skills are strengthened.

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TENNILLE WALKER

Feedback for Tennille

You’ve made a good start

here Tennille! I like how

you introduced the text

by referring to the author

John Boyne. Don’t forget

to tell me what points

you’re going to discuss in

your essay. For example,

if you’re focussing on the

theme of friendship, what

part of friendship are you

going to focus on? For

example you might

choose to focus on the

loyalty between Bruno

and Shmuel.

Did you run out of time

for a conclusion?Next time, you could

write a conclusion like

this:

“Clearly, the most

important theme in this

story is friendship,

especially the loyal

friendship between Bruno

and Shmuel.”

You also need to structure your essay with body paragraphs one after the other. Each paragraph needs to start

with a topic sentence telling the reader what you’re going to talk about in the paragraph. Each paragraph then

needs to end with a clincher – remember that’s a link back to your thesis, your argument in your introduction.

I can see you’ve remembered some good detail from the story, particularly in the meeting between Bruno and

Shmuel. I like how you mentioned that Shmuel didn’t get much to eat or drink, and that Bruno would bring him

food even when it was raining. This is a good point! At the end of that paragraph you could say something like

“The kindness that Bruno showed to Shmuel demonstrates the strength of loyalty in friendship, a theme John

Boyne has taken care to highlight”

This would link your example back to your introduction in a really strong way.

Keep practicing your writing Tennille, I can tell you’ll make a very good writer if you put in the effort now!

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Annotations of the features of Tennille’s work sample:

(The contrast has been adjusted for clarity)

Challenges that Tennille faces:

Tennille’s response demonstrates a decent attempt at the task, though it appears she had some

difficulty structuring her response, and also ran out of time.

Although English is not her strong subject and literacy is her primary school’s

‘weakness’ (“Student Summaries”, n.d p. 5), Tennille correctly identifies friendship as an

influential theme in John Boyne’s novel. She has structured her essay with a formal

Opening statement

andthesis

Series of events in

chronological sequence

Evidence to reinforce argument

Identifies major

plotpoint

Topic sentence1:

How theymet

Topic sentence 2: Friendship

Consistentuse

of 3rd person

throughout

Singular and

plural pronouns

Pasttense

Simple present tense

Actionverb

Prepositions

Articles

Connective

Conjunctions

Simple, proper and

complexnounsIdentifies specific

texttype

Correctly

identifies author

Correctly identifies

friendship as a key

theme

Pastcontinuous

Complexsentence

Compoundsentence

Editing for spelling, style

and voice, word choice,

organisation and

sentence structure

Formally cites the text's

title using apostrophes

Demonstrates form

specific knowledge

of objective voice

Supporting evidence 2

-Logical sequence

Showscontextual

knowledge

Topic specific

technicalnoun

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introduction which demonstrates understanding of objective tone, and her response shows

good control of perspective and tense. She has demonstrated an ability to edit her own

spelling and phrasing, and she can clearly remember details from the novel: ‘a dot, which

became a blob, which became a figure’.

This said, Tennille has struggled to structure her response in a logical fashion, and as it

develops it becomes more like a recount than an argument. There is no conclusion and the

body of her essay has not been split into paragraphs. The topic sentences aren’t very

coherent, she doesn’t connect her ideas well with conjunctions and she doesn’t link examples

back to her thesis. It seems that Tennille would benefit from guidance on how to structure

and write essays under time pressure.

Tennille’s writing also reveals confusion between verbal and written phrases such as

‘they are that good of friends, they see each other everyday’. Although Tennille has probably

heard people say things just like this, she is unaware for instance, that ‘everyday’ should be

split into two words in this context.

This is a typical challenge for ATSI students, as the ways English is spoken and written

at home, may be quite different to what is taught at school. Researchers such as Eades (1993)

urge that ‘respecting, valuing and understanding Aboriginal ways of using English is a

significant step in respecting, valuing and understanding the identity and self-esteem of these

children’ (p. 6). This said, the teacher’s role in this situation is difficult to discern, as they

must respect Indigenous forms of English while ostensibly ‘correcting’ or at least ‘shaping’

students’ literacy in an Australian society shaped by western values. This is a tension that has

not been fully addressed in the literature.

Nevertheless, it is clear that ATSI students like Tennille are often disengaged and

absent from school (Sikora & Biddle, 2015), perhaps in part due to the ‘cultural exclusivity of

western education contexts in their privileging of white and middle class ways of knowing

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and being [and the marginalisation] of ‘other’ ways of knowing and being’ (Keddie, 2012, p.

267). This cultural tension has been documented by many researchers, not least MCEETA,

who claim that ‘cross-cultural respect, is the main way of achieving highly effective

schooling for Indigenous students’ (MCEETA, 2008, p. 10).

This is linked to a typical challenge for ATSI students which is a lack of motivation for

what can become a very abstract educational environment. There is a growing recognition

that literacy instruction must be more purposeful, engaging, ‘relevant’ (Bailey, 2009, p. 210),

and ‘hands on’ (Hanlen, 2010) for students like Tennille. This means that teachers must give

ATSI students ‘real’ (Mullins, Lawson, & Mootz, n.d, p. 12) reasons to engage in tasks like

reading and writing essays and get creative in ‘selecting and modifying material for their

students’ (Hibbert & Iannacci, 2005, p. 716).

It is important that Tennille is encouraged to develop and use her English literacy in creative

and personal ways that enrich her life and inspire her towards further learning.

Recommendations for Strengthening Tennille’s Literacy

Using By the Light of the Harvest Moon as a scaffold, Tennille’s teacher could scaffold a

creative writing lesson based around writing personal narrative with elaborative detail. While

the exercise was originally themed around Autumn, it would be easy to change the theme to

Auschwitz, to match the context of The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. These exercises will

engage Tennille in a hands on, interesting and creative writing process. By scaffolding her

writing with activities that call for elaboration, Tennille can be taught the value of including

specific detail in her writing. By encouraging personal and creative responses, students

receive the message that creative literacies are just as valuable as analytical literacies.

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Supporting Resources:

Getting Ready to Write, The Comprehensive Narrative Writing Guide, Easy Art

Activities that Spark Super Writing. These Empowering Writers Resources will

support and inform this lesson and will inspire similar lessons! See our online

store for details!

(continued…)

Teacher Background:

A lot of picture books fall into the personal experience genre. In this genre the

author describes a setting or an experience that the character has had. The

character is secondary, and the description of the scene is very vivid.

Summarizing these stories in terms of beginning, middle and end or identifying

what the author is describing helps students to begin to see the underlying

organizational structure of the genre. This understanding will later serve as the

foundation on which they will create entertaining narratives of their own. This

reading/writing connection is a powerful tool in scaffolding learning!

Literature Springboard:

By the Light of

the Harvest

MoonAuthor: Harriet Ziefert

Illustrator: Mark Jones

Blue Apple

Books c. 2009

ISBN 10: 1934706698ISBN 13: 978-1934706695

Nothing is more satisfying than using a good

picture book as a vehicle for capturing the

imagination of your young students while

teaching some of the important pre-writing

concepts which serve as the foundation for

narrative writing!

Objective:

• Summarize a personal experience narrative

• Students will use their five senses to write describing sentences about fall

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Procedure:

Using the following Personal Experience Framework as a guide (found on page 29 of

your

Comprehensive Narrative Writing Guide) have your children identify what the story is

describing.

This story gives a description about fall and a fall party.

Elaborative Detail:

For more information about Elaborative Detail see page 79-89 of your Comprehensive

Narrative Writing Guide or page 35 or your Getting Ready to Write book.

(Depending on the make-up of your class this could take several days.)

Using chart paper go through each sense (one at a time) and have the children tell

you what winter looks like, sounds like, feels like, smells like and tastes like.

These are examples from the story: (Students will come up with fabulous ones

as well! Example of student ideas are in italics.)See

moon shines

people working on the farm

men/boys carry bushel

baskets animals standing

still

staring at orange yellow ball

orange, yellow and crimson

leaves swirl and twirl and

dance

clouds of leaves

settle leaf people

emerge colorful

leaves falling

squirrels gathering

nuts early dark

nights

geese flying south

Hear

animals talk to

moonlow

mooshigh-pitched

baaswind speaks

Swish!

Swish!people

rakingleaf

blowers

Feel

gusty blasts of

aircold

airgoose bumps on

arms

(continued

…)

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Elaborative

Detail:(continued

…)

Taste

feast on the sweetest

treats from the fall

harvestsweet apple

cidersmooth pumpkin

pie

Smel

l

dry

leavesfires

burningapple pies

bakingturkeys

baking

After charting one sense have the children go back to their desks and

write one sentence describing autumn using that specific sense. After

you go through each sense the children will have 5 descriptive sentences

about autumn.

Example: As I l ooked a ro und I saw p eo p le ra ki ng lea ves .

Swwi t t … swwi t t … swwi t t … wen t th e ir rakes

a ga inst th e d r y b row n i sh gra ss a s th e ir lea f

p iles bega n to g e t h igh er and h igh er. In th e

d ista nce I co u ld s m e ll t h e scen t o f f i res

bur ning . A wa rm sen s ati onw ra pped aga inst my bod

y like ahug as Ith ought about th e wa rm f ire bu r nin

g in s omeo ne ’s liv ing ro om. M y

sto m ach growl ed a s I i m a gined th e y u mmy,

m oist tu rkey tha t wa s roa sti ng in th e o ven.

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nectConArt

ion:

Autumn

Tree

Material:

• White construction paper

• Red, orange, yellow and green ink pads

• Crayons

1) Have the children

draw a tree without

leaves.

2) Have children press

one finger on a

specific color stamp

pad and press it onto

the tree to add

leaves. Wash finger or

change finger and add

another color.

3) Attach the writing

to your picture.

ArtConnection Procedure

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Notes:

Tennille and other students can fill the ‘five senses’ lists with sights, sounds, feelings, tastes

and smells from John Boyne’s novel. Students could be prompted with the following

instructions:

1. Imagine you are a character in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

Now imagine where you are standing in the story.

What are you doing?

Where are you? What does it looks like?

What sounds can you hear?

What does your environment smell like?

What does it feel like to touch or taste?

Using ideas that you have written down, write a short description from your character’s point

of view.

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It could also be constructive to teach Tennille and the other students how to make their own

creative metaphors before they begin their narrative. Familiarising Tennille with the

Metalanguage of the English language in a fun context like creative writing is a good way to

make learning relevant and interesting.

Scaffold for a metaphor creating exercise:

1. Make a list under each heading:

A. Adjectives B. Concrete nouns C. Abstract nouns

(Dark, Lonely, etc.) (Dog, Table, etc.) (Sadness,

Apology, etc.)

2. Now creatively combine words from the 3 lists to form interesting metaphors or

descriptions:

(For example, if you take the first word from each list you get “The Dark Dog of

Sadness” which is cool)

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References

Alberta, & Curriculum Branch. (2009). Supporting English as a second language students:

promising ESL strategies in Alberta. Edmonton, AB: Alberta Education.

Atkinson, M. (2014). Literacy and Numeracy Studies. Vol 22(1)

Bailey, N. M. (2009). “It Makes It More Real”: Teaching New Literacies in a Secondary

English Classroom. English Education, 41(3), 207–234.

http://doi.org/10.2307/40173321

Board of Studies NSW. (2012). SUGGESTED TEXTS: for the English K–10 Syllabus.

Retrieved from http://syllabus.bos.nsw.edu.au/assets/global/files/english-k10-

suggested-texts.pdf

Callow, J. (2010). I’m way more interested: using visual texts to engage students from low

SES backgrounds. Vol 29. Retrieved from:

http://www.curriculumsupport.education.nsw.gov.au/schoollibraries/assets/pdf/callow

_29%203.pdf

Department of Employment, Education, Training and Youth Affairs. (1999). Programming

and Strategies Handbook: Follow-up to ELLA. Retrieved from

http://www.schools.nsw.edu.au/media/downloads/schoolsweb/studentsupport/progra

ms/disabilitypgrms/pshandbooksec.pdf

(Eades, D. (1993). Aboriginal English. Retrieved from

http://www.naclc.org.au/cb_pages/files/Aboriginal%20English%20in%20the%20Leg

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