SAPANDEEP SHARMASAPANDEEP SHARMA

M.Sc PsychologyM.Sc Psychology

E-mail: sapan26oct@yahoo.com

Listening SkillsListening Skills

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Myths about listening

• Listening is the same as hearing

• Listening is connected to intelligence

• Listening cannot be learned

• Listening is automatic

• Listening means agreeing

Why listening skills are important

• Improves relationships• Improves our knowledge• Improves our understanding• Prevents problems escalating• Saves time and energy• Leads to better results

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment

…a way of saying, “You are important.”

WHAT IS LISTENING?

If you ask a group of people to give a one word description of listening, some

would say hearing.

BUT LISTENING…

• Is following and understanding the sound---it is hearing with a purpose.

DEFINITION OF LISTENING

• The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention

Listening v/s Hearing

• Hearing- Physical process; natural and passive

• Listening- Physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill

“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”

—Jimi Hendrix, rock musician

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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The Listening Process

LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

Before I can walk in another person’s shoes, I must remove my own.

Problems

• Pseudo Listening

• Selective Listening

• Critical Listening

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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“A good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”

Kenneth A. WELLS

Solutions

• Awareness• Be physical and mentally prepared to listen• Set a goal• Sitting Position• Listening is a skill• Pretend to be fascinated if you have to

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Ten Rules for Good Listening

Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule

1. Stop talking You cannot listen if you are talking.

2. Put the person at ease Help a person feel free to talk; create a permissive environment.

3. Show the person you Look and act interested; listen to want to listen understand, not to oppose.

4.Remove distractions Don’t doodle, tap, or shuffle papers; shut the door if necessary to achieve quiet.

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Ten Rules for Good Listening

Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule

5. Empathize Try to see the other person’s point of view.

6. Be patient Allow plenty of time; do not interrupt; don’t start for the door or walk away.

7. Hold your temper An angry person takes the wrong meaning from words.

McGraw-Hill © 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Ten Rules for Good Listening

Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule

8.Go easy on argument Don’t put people on the defensive and criticism and cause them to “clam up” or become angry; do not argue- even if you win, you lose.

9. Ask questions This encourages a person and shows that you are listening; it helps to develop points further.

10. Stop talking This is first and last, because all other guides depend on it; you cannot listen effectively while you are talking.

Source: Adapted from Human Behavior at Work, Fifth Edition, by Keith Davis. 1977.