Lifestyle: Dutch weddings, ACCESS Summer 2011
Transcript of Lifestyle: Dutch weddings, ACCESS Summer 2011
28 | access | summer
By catHy leuNg
summer is a popular time to get married in many countries, equally so in
the Netherlands. so if you are lucky enough to get an invite, here’s a little
look at what to expect from a wedding in the Netherlands.
Dutch weddings - a guide for guests
I have had the pleasure of attending many
Dutch huwelijken (weddings), including
my own, and they have all been uniquely
special occasions. There are though some
common traditions and protocol that may
not be familiar to non-Dutch nationals.
Which guest list are you on?
The typical format for a Dutch wedding can
include the marriage ceremony, a drinks
reception, a sit-down dinner, and an eve-
ning party. It should be clear from your
invitation which part of the day you are
invited to. For work colleagues, for exam-
ple, it is often the case that you will just be
invited to the evening party.
Ceremoniemeesters
After the main wedding invitation from the
couple themselves, you may very well get a
separate letter from the Ceremoniemeesters.
As well as a best man and bridesmaids,
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access | summer | 29
Lifestyle
many couples will appoint friends to act
as Ceremoniemeesters to help lighten the
load before and during the wedding.
In general, they play an active role in com-
municating with guests before the wed-
ding and providing master of ceremony
duties during the wedding, the reception
and party. They might let you know about
any theme for the party and provide advice
on how to get there and places to stay.
The ceremony
A couple getting married in the
Netherlands must always have a civil cere-
mony, performed by a town hall official
but not necessarily in the gemeentehuis
(town hall), and they may choose to have
an additional religious ceremony after this
has taken place. During the civil ceremony
you generally won’t hear the bride and
groom making personal vows. There may
be readings and speeches from close
friends and family though and the civil ser-
vant who marries the pair will certainly
give a speech first before asking the bride
and groom whether they agree to be mar-
ried. They answer with a simple “Ja”.
Congratulations!
You will be expected to personally congrat-
ulate the bride and groom in person once
the ceremony is over; it is a very important
element of the proceedings. So much so
that it is sometimes not left to chance: the
use of clip-on, flashing LED hearts can be
used to help the couple identify who hasn’t
yet congratulated them yet - when they
have, the light is turned off. Additionally,
at the reception you may well hear a group
of Dutchies burst into song. They’re proba-
bly not drunk already, there is an old tradi-
tion of serenading the bride and groom
with a song using personalised lyrics about
the couple.
Speeches
It is fair to say, the Dutch like to give
speeches but when it comes to weddings,
they excel themselves. Speeches are usually
given by the father of the groom as well as
the father of the bride and be warned: they
can go on for some time.
The party
The dress code for the evening party can
often be different than for the daytime fes-
tivities. For example, in my husband’s jaar-
club (university fraternity), they often make
this a black tie occasion. Wedding themes
and fancy dress also seems to be growing
in popularity. Of the quirkier weddings I’ve
attended, one requested guests adopt a
sailing theme, and another that they wear
red, green and blue - the colours of the
Schiermonikoog flag. Party food can be as
simple as circulating trays of bitterballen,
but the good news is that drinks (beer and
wine) are usually also circulated on trays -
so no big queues at the bar.
Surprise!
A lovely thing the Ceremoniemeesters also
do is to arrange a special surprise for the
bride and groom, planned together with
the guests. The nature of this surprise can
take many forms but in general it is a way
of enabling the guests to give a personal
and lasting message to the bride and
groom that they can keep and treasure.
I have seen video booths for taped mes-
sages, photo booths for a photo collage,
a collection of songs written in tribute to
the couple, and signatures on the hull of
the couple’s new sailing boat (although
I expect that hasn’t stood the test of time).
For our wedding, the Ceremoniemeesters
asked our guests to email three words that
came to mind when they thought of us.
The resulting word cloud was printed on
a canvas and framed - it was incredibly
touching and a great example of the bene-
fits of having Ceremoniemeesters.
So with this little social guide, you should
be better prepared for some huwelijk
action. Now all you have to do is wait to
be invited. «
“ there is an old tradition of serenading the bride and groom with a song using personalised lyrics about the couple”
Information
Need a hat?Not something you’ll easily find on the Dutch high street, I recommend:Hoeden MV, Amsterdamwww.hoeden-mv.com
Getting married?For comprehensive information on getting married in the Netherlands, download the ACCESS Guide, ‘Marriage’, from www.access-nl.org.