Life lessons -for class

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Life Lessons Effective Planning Time Management Being Organized Working Effectively Effective Budgeting Enthusiasm Theory of Options Positive Attitude Good Relationships Fighters v. Peacemakers Being Proactive Punctuality Setting Priorities Integrity Goal Setting Knowing v. Doing Effective Leadership Personal Money Management Having a Reading Program Having a Sense of Humor Communicating Effectively 1

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Dear Missionaries, These are the life lessons I taught while in Japan. Many of you have asked for them. Hopefully, you will find them helpful. Pres. Albrecht

Transcript of Life lessons -for class

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Life Lessons

Effective PlanningTime ManagementBeing OrganizedWorking EffectivelyEffective BudgetingEnthusiasmTheory of OptionsPositive AttitudeGood RelationshipsFighters v. PeacemakersBeing Proactive

PunctualitySetting PrioritiesIntegrityGoal SettingKnowing v. DoingEffective LeadershipPersonal Money ManagementHaving a Reading ProgramHaving a Sense of HumorCommunicating Effectively

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Effective Planning

• Family Mission Statement and plans• Annual planning• Weekly planning• Daily Planning

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Steve & LeAnn AlbrechtFamily Mission Statement

“All family members will reachtheir full potential by findingtrue happiness through Christ and we will have no empty chairs in the Celestial Kingdom.”

(Established while our children were small—over 30 years ago)

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All family members will reach their full potential

by finding true happiness through Christ and we will

have no empty chairsin the Celestial Kingdom

Every child gains a personaltestimony of Christ and lives

the Gospel.

Every son serves a worthy, full-timemission and finds happiness

through service to others.

Every child graduates from Seminaryand develops good study habits to

enhance his knowledge of the Gospel.

All children marry in the Temple anddevelop the strength to keep their

temple covenants.

All children receive Eagle/YW Awardsand internalize the characteristics

of those awards in their lives.

Every child graduates from college anduses their degree to create opportunities

for their families and to build the

Kingdom of God

Every child has spiritual, emotional, physical and social successes andfinds happiness in an enjoyable

journey through life.

Scripture study, church attendance, family home evening, church service, family prayer, temple attendance, and support church leaders

Missionary activities in home (prayers, watch, flags, etc.), missiongoals, shovel snow, and service to others

Take Seminary, support Seminary and Church activities, family scripture study, celebrate graduation

Don’t date until 16, date good friends, bring friends home, don’thave steady relationship in High School, celebrate Temple Marriages

Be involved in scouts and Y/W activities, celebrate successes, displayawards, exemplify characteristics of awards

Pay college tuition, participate in school activities, keep mom home,

stress importance of education, set good example

Be involved in sports and activities, spend time together (cabin, outdoors, etc.) take family vacations, create “talk time,” create

family unity and love

Steve & LeAnn Albrecht Family Mission Statement (Created: June 1980)

Mission

Goals Activities

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Annual Planning

Red: Family DaysGreen: Church DaysYellow: Children’s DaysBlue: BYU CommitmentsWhite: Research, writing, consulting, expert witnessing, board service

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Weekly Planning

• Every Monday night we gathered the family together in Family Home Evening. If we had a ballgame to other activity on Monday night, we had our spiritual FHE on Sunday night.

• Every Monday after family Home Evening, LeAnn and I calendared together so we knew each other’s schedules

• Once a week, I took LeAnn on a date and we talked about and planned for each of our children, family vacations, etc.

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Daily Planning

• Kept a clean desk• Prepared a “to do” list for the next day

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Motivation for our Planning “Someday They Will.” One of these days you’ll shout: “Why don’t you kids grow up and act your age?” And they will. Or: “You guys get outside and find something to do!” And they will.“Don’t slam that door!” And they won’t. You’ll straighten up the boys’ room neat and tidy, discard the gum and candyWrappers, pick up the dirty socks, stack the toys on the shelf, make the bed,Sweep the floor and yell: “Now I want this room to stay this way!” And it will. You’ll prepare the perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death,Bring out a cake with no finger marks in the icing, sit down to a beautiful tableWith everything in place, and say: “Now there is a meal fit for company. And eat it alone. You’ll say: “I want some quiet around here! Shut off that darned TV, turn downThat radio, quit banging around, quit fighting! I want some privacy!” And you’ll have it. No more plastic table clothes stained with spaghetti, no more dirty bedspreads,No more plastic sheets to protect the mattresses from wet bottoms, no more toys on the floor to fall over, no more school books spilled on the table, no moredirty rings in the tub, stopped up sinks, washer run-overs, shirts burned with ironing marks, bubble gum in the blankets.No more anxious nights under a vaporized tent, no more colic, diarrhea,Whooping cough, runny noses, wet clothes, colds.No more sand in the beds, food on the rugs, marks on the walls, dirt in the furniture, paint on the windows. Imagine: no iron-on patches, wet knotted shoestrings, lipstick with a point on it, odd socks in theLaundry, shortage of babysitters on New Year’s Eve. Imagine: seeing a steak that isn’t ground, no PTA meetings, no back-to-school nights, no more cavities, no more car pools.Think about it” no more broken toys on Christmas Day, no more gifts for you made of toothpicks and library glue, no more sloppy oatmeal

kisses, no more giggles in the dark, no more scraped knees, no responsibility. Only a reflective voice crying out:”Why don’t you kids grow up~”And the silence echoing: “We have.”

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Why is time management so important

Some people accomplish two or three times as much as others. Have you ever wondered why?

1. Time is a special resource that you cannot store or save for later use. Everyone has the exact same amount of time each day. Time not well used cannot be retrieved.2. Most people feel like they have too much to do and not enough time. They blame lack of time for their poor finances, unachieved goals, stress, bad relationships and not exercising their body. (My entire career has been spent juggling time balls.)3. Time is limited to 24 hours a day, so plan your life wisely.4. Time management helps you make conscious choices, so you can spend more of your time doing things that are important and valuable to you.

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Time Management

• There are two different types of time commitments—those with fixed time schedules and those without fixed time schedules

• Made unscheduled events have a fixed time commitment

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Types of time commitmentsImportant events that have fixed time commitments

• Work• Church Meetings• Sporting and musical events• Meetings• Classes• Office Hours

Important events that don’t have fixed time commitments

• Spending time with spouse• Spending time with children• Personal hobbies• Doing homework, studying

the scriptures, personal prayer, personal worship

Many of those events that don’t have fixed time commitments are more important than those that do. If you don’t schedule the unscheduled events, they don’t happen as often as they should, if at all.

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My Daily Schedule• I got up early, exercised and worked for 1 ½ or 2 hours before my

family got up.• Our family read scriptures, ate breakfast and had family prayer

between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.• I left at work at 7:00 a.m. and was always one of the first faculty

members to arrive at school.• Because I worked early in the morning I left work early (around 5 p.m.

or sometimes even earlier) to be with my family. • I always volunteered to coach my children’s baseball, basketball,

soccer and football teams to force me to spend time with them daily. • LeAnn and I put our children to bed at 8 p.m. (until they were 12; 9

p.m. when they were in high school) so we could spend an hour or two with just each other. Someday your children will be gone and it will just be the two of you. Your wife (husband) is your most important relationship.

• I watched very little television—news or an occasional ball game

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Our Weekly Schedule

• We always had a Sunday dinner (after church) with our family, even after they were married.

• We always had family home evening (FHE) on Monday night.

• After FHE, LeAnn and I had a weekly planning meeting• Almost every week, LeAnn and I went on a date—usually

Friday night. (We usually went to dinner)• We always ate breakfast together and most often ate

dinner together• When I was a bishop and stake president, we held most of

our meetings on Sunday, starting at 6 a.m. (Minimized week-day church meetings)

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Time Management on Trips

• Traveling made me much more productive--I got more research, writing, and other work done when I traveled than when I was at BYU. – Airplanes (3 million miles on Delta alone) was

another office for me– I always stayed up late and worked when I was

traveling because I couldn’t be with my family– There were no interruptions like there was at BYU—

I always had an open office– Never left the hotel room unless I had family with

me

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Importance of Effective Time Management

• No one ever said on his (her) deathbed “I wish I would have spent more time at work.”

• It is possible to be highly successful and still manage your family time and other commitments

• The toughest decisions you will face will be how to manage your time. Time

Church Work Family Personal

“It’s okay to juggle balls but just don’t drop the glass ones”

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Being organized

• Organized people accomplish much more than disorganized people because:– They can focus on what they want to achieve– They are able to be more productive and can function

better– They are able to manage their time more effectively– They reduce clutter and thus reduce stress levels– They understand their goals and what is important– They can prioritize tasks– They don’t get as discouraged– They are able to achieve freedom from chaos

(My wife is the most organized person I have ever met.)

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Which of these looks like yours?

Home of a successful person Office of a successful person

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Costs of Being Disorganized• The business world is fast-paced. To keep up and to

advance, it’s essential to practice good organizational skills. Being disorganized can hinder your ability to get where you want to be professionally, decrease your productivity, cost your employer time and money, and can even be bad for your physical and mental health. The following findings are based on research: – Many people wish to advance their careers and climb those

corporate ladders, but they won't get far unless they are organized.

– Poor organizational skills result in decreased productivity. – There is a distinct link between organizational skills and your

mental and physical health, according to MayoClinic.com. When people are disorganized it causes them to feel more anxiety and stress.

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What you need to organize• Your time and schedule

– You must be able to prioritize tasks and make sure your time is spent doing what is most important and productive (Time management is an element of good organization.)

• Your living area– Cluttered areas are depressing. Not only is it unclean, but clutter makes

living more difficult. It is hard to find peace and comfort in a disorganized place.

• Your future– Deciding what you want in 2, 3, or 5 years helps you decide priorities and

envision your future.• Your working space

– You can’t concentrate in a messy place. It’s difficult to find your materials. It’s difficult to know what to work on or study.

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If you are organized…..

• You’ll – Be more successful at work– Be a better father/mother and husband/wife– Be a more effective church leader– Be happier– Have considerably less stress in your life– Accomplish much more in your life– Be in charge of your life—more proactive– Teach, by example, a very important success principle to

your children (The sins of the parents are upon the children for 4 and 5 generations)

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Being well organized

• Three important tools to help you be organized:– Effective delegation– Setting priorities– Being proactive; not reacting to others

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Working Effectively

• 4 decisions I was taught early in my career (by a great mentor at the University of Illinois). These decisions have brought many opportunities to me in my professional, church and personal life.– Always work harder & smarter (not always longer) than

your coworkers– Always do more than your fair share on assignments

given– Don’t worry about who gets the credit– Build a specialty for yourself that you can become known

by

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Always work harder & smarter than your coworkers

• Positive consequences– People always want you on their teams– You are usually the last one fired– You have a good reputation– You get paid more than others– You experience more joy from completion of tasks

• Possible Negative consequences– You only have so much time and you need to be careful not

to lose focus of what is important– It is easy to confuse hard work with spending more time at

work—they are not the same

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Always do more than your fair share on all assignments

• Positive consequences– Will bring you tremendous opportunities– Will build goodwill for you and your family

• Possible Negative consequences– You will have to work a little harder– Sometimes you will have to swallow your “hidden” anger

and contempt for those who don’t contribute as much

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Don’t care who gets the credit

• Positive consequences– Everyone wants you on their team– People like you– Additional opportunities come to you– You end up getting more credit—awards, raises, etc.– You always make your boss look good and, in the end,

that will come back to help you• Possible Negative consequences

– Sometimes you have “hidden” anger– It’s sometimes hard to hide your pride for work well

done

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Build a specialty for yourself that you can become known by

• You must distinguish yourself in some way– Best technologically– Industry specialization (e.g. financial institutions,

retail, insurance, etc.)– Country specialization– SOX, transfer pricing, derivatives, revenue

recognition, etc.– Some type of knowledge—fraud

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Ten most common financial mistakes that people make

1. Not setting financial goals (We sell our future for immediate gratification if we don’t have goals)

2. Living on borrowed money—too much and the wrong kind of debt3. Not budgeting—not spending our money in a pre-planned way4. Not having savings5. Not maintaining good financial records6. Not being adequately insured7. Not having emergency funds—the unexpected can kill your budgeting and

even the best financial plans8. Making spur-of-the-moment financial decisions (Also keeping up with the

Jones)9. Not having a will—deciding who will get your children and assets if

something happens to you10. Not communicating about money with your spouse and children—if it’s not

a team effort, your money management efforts will fail

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Effective Budgeting• How to budget

– Any fool can earn money; but it takes a wise man to save and dispose of it to his own advantage”, Brigham Young (Discourses of Brigham Young).

– You need to spend your money wisely…don’t run out of money before you run out of month.

– Make sure you know what is withheld and commited each month before you start spending.

– You can spend just as much if you budget as you can if you don’t budget…it’s just that you’ll spend it where you really want to and will avoid the negative consequences of not “being in charge of your finances”.

– Learning to budget effectively will bless your life and help you avoid the negative consequences of poor planning.

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Effective Budgeting

• Practical tips– You only budget what you have control over (Let’s look at an

example)

Gross Income $2,000 (You don’t make this much)Withholdings 500 (FICA, Fed. & State Withholding, etc.)

Take Home $1,500 (You don’t make this much)Fixed Expenses 980 (Car payment, rent, tithing, etc.)Discretionary Income $520 This is what you make No need to and should budget! This is budget these what you have control over.

Now, how do you budget the $520 discretionary income?

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Effective Budgeting

• Practical tips– From your discretionary income of $520, allocate a certain

amount of money for food, travel, etc. (Whatever you spend money on.)

– Always keep track of what you spend and what your balance is.

– Save some money for emergencies—there are always emergencies

– Make sure you are totally honest with your spouse and have good communication about money

– Whoever spends the money should do the day-to-day budgeting

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Budgeting your $520 per monthDateMar. 2013

Food Gas Clothing Hair, personal

Gifts Emergencies

Beg. Bal. $300 $60 $50 $50 $25 $35

Costco -83.25

Balance $216.75

Mar. 7Holiday

Mar. 2 -36

Balance $24

You must keep your budgeting up to date and simple or it will fail.

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Another way to budget

• Two checking account system

Income

1-2 automatictransfers per month

Pay only fixed expensesout of this account—goodbudgeter, non-spender runs this account. (Direct payment from bank account)

Pay the discretionaryexpenses out of thisaccount. The one whois the spender runs this account and keeps the budget.

LeAnn and I used this system until after our recent mission.

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Budgeting Conclusions

• You only make and you only budget what you have control over every month—everything else is already budgeted for you. (If you don’t believe it, try skipping a payment.)

• You must keep your budgeting program simple.• You must not give up. The result of giving up is negative

consequences, if not today, then tomorrow.• Make sure you budget everything (every category) you spend

your discretionary money on.• Reward yourself for being disciplined and keeping your budget.

If there is money left at the end of the month, go out to dinner, etc.

• Remember, you can spend just as much if you budget as you can if you don’t. You’ll just be in charge and will be able to know the consequences.

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Enthusiasm

• As a mission president, I often wished many of our missionaries had more “enthusiasm.” They had strong testimonies. They had good language. They knew why they were on missions. They loved the Gospel and loved the people. Yet, some of them didn’t convey excitement or enthusiasm in the work. I used to tell them that if they can’t get excited and passionate about sharing the Gospel, they’ll never be able to get excited about anything

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Can Only Inspire by Being Enthusiastic

• If you want to be successful, you need to inspire others. If you have little or no enthusiasm, you cannot inspire others to listen to you. Who inspires you? It is enthusiastic, dynamic and positive people who make a difference in others. As a BYU graduate, you will always be on stage—when at home; when working, or when at church. You always need to act like you are on stage and be excited about life, work, family, etc.

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Enthusiasm Quotes

• “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

• Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit. (Gordon Parks)

• The only difference between try and triumph is just a little "umph!”

• “Fake it until you make it” (Sis. LeAnn Albrecht)

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Importance of Body Language

• Most people think that we communicate with others with our mouths. However, actual communication is only 10% verbal and 90% body language.

• You can never determine the sincerity of people by what they say alone. Words transmitted verbally often do not reflect what people really think or feel. The only way you can determine true inner feelings and thoughts is by reading body language.

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An Example of Missionary Enthusiasm

• A young missionary was transferred into a small rural town in Japan. He was met at the train station by his new companion who had been in the area for 3 months. The missionary who had been in the small town for 3 months had been hoping that he, like his former companion, would be transferred out. "I can't believe they're keeping me here even one more day, let along another transfer. It's a terrible place to serve," he complained to his new companion. “The ward members here have no fire, the people are rude and not interested in the Gospel and no one will let you in their homes or talk to you on the street. The missionaries have already talked to everyone in this town and no one has any interest in the Gospel."

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An Example of Missionary Enthusiasm

• Yet, in the first week, the new missionary had found two new progressing investigators. In the next four months, he had three baptisms and a progressing pool of 9 good investigators. What made the difference? Did the new missionary have more knowledge or a stronger testimony than the previous missionaries? No, in fact he had only been on his mission for 6 months. Was he a harder worker? No! In fact, the previous missionaries had worked really hard. The real difference was enthusiasm. The new missionary was just excited about the work and radiated passion and enthusiasm to everyone he talked with. By being enthusiastic, he inspired others to want to believe in him.

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An Example of Missionary Enthusiasm

• While the previous missionaries had dragged themselves from house to house and even talked to lots of people on the street, they had been putting in their time with a martyr's attitude. The new missionary went at the work with an enthusiastic attitude. He quickly gained the trust of the ward members who also became excited about the work and, in fact, four of their progressing investigators and one of their baptisms had actually been referrals from the members. In no time, that small town was one of the most productive areas of the mission.

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ENTHUSIASM IS CONTAGIOUS!

• Enthusiasm really is contagious – there are very few people who, once in contact with somebody truly enthused, can remain unmoved. Just place one person, determined and aflame with enthusiasm, in a mediocre group and it isn’t long before the atmosphere has been energized and the others are motivated with the same passion. The powerful enthusiastic energy you give out will inspire those around you to become more dynamic, and ultimately, successful. Enthusiasm is a necessary quality of an effective leader.

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Hard Work x Enthusiasm = Success•Enthusiasm is the most essential ingredient apart from hard work for attaining success in anything. Almost always, two people with the same level of effort but different levels of enthusiasm will progress at markedly different paces! •Kisarazu Miracle

–No baptisms for over 2 years–Average attendance—14 people (smallest branch in the mission)–Sent ex-assistant and brand new missionary there–In three transfers, they took the branch from 14 to an average attendance of 35. (Reactivated members, 9 baptisms, and investigators)–How did they do it—lack of fear, tremendous enthusiasm and extremely hard work–Chiba (Tokyo) Stake made video of Kisarazu miracle and showed it at stake conference

 

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Share Enthusiasm

• A simple way to use enthusiasm to better our lives is to share it, and the simplest way to share it is through a smile. Next time you "accidentally" make eye contact with someone, instead of looking away with embarrassment, flash them a quick smile, it will help you get happy, and it will more than likely get you a smile which means you just helped someone else become happy as well.

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Elements of Enthusiasm• Tone of voice is welcoming—lots of inflection; not monotone• Face—they smile; their eyes look right at you• Exude energy—they are proactive and excited (when talking with

young children, they get on their level; when talking with adults of the same gender, they pat them on the back or touch them some way, etc.) But be careful.

• Their mannerisms are not too loud but not too quiet; they are welcoming

• High level of energy• Lots of self confidence and faith • They believe in what they are doing and are excited.• They are proactive• They look at positive side of things even when they don’t feel like it

(they are always happy)• They express appreciation and show gratitude often

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Theory of Options• The more options you have the more freedom you have• Life is all about options• Walking from the Tanner Building to Arbys on 1230 North• Stock options; option to buy land, etc.• You will never go wrong by creating as many options as you can for

yourself• Satan wants to take away our options

– Drugs– Addictions– Debt– Ignorance– Etc.

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Theory of Options• Things that give you options

– Education and knowledge– Expertise/Certifications– Freedom from debt/money– Good health– Clear conscience– Good marriage companion– Democracy– Ambition/Good reputation– Service– Etc.

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Decision Making

Every time you have a decision to make ask

yourself these two questions…

Will it draw me closer to or move me further away

from Heavenly Father?

Will it give me more or fewer options? Which action will give me the

most options?

Some things that provide options:1. Good reputation2. Good education3. Good health4. Financial freedom5. Freedom from

guilt6. Good spouse7. Network of

relationships8. Etc.

Some things that draw you closer to Heavenly Father:1. Daily, sincere

prayer2. Scripture study3. Sabbath Day

observance4. Service5. Being morally

clean6. Magnifying church

callings7. Being Honest

The more options you have, the more freedom you have. Life is much more fun and rewarding when you have options. I have always followed an option-maximizing strategy in my life. Heavenly Father sent us here with free agency—we are only free if we have options.

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Example of Options Decision

Working for CPA Firm in

SLC

Work for CPA Firm—Milwaukee

Go to graduate

school- U. of

Wisconsin

Be a University Professor

Return to work in

SLC

Decision: Stay workingin SLC or quit and go tograduate school.

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Having a Positive Attitude

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Having a positive attitude

• This is a very important lesson to learn because life is tough—you will struggle from time to time. Every person does! You will experience difficulties and tough days and even weeks. How you handle these difficulties will make all the difference in your life.

Are you a person who sees the glass half empty or half full?

 If there is only one thing you can work on that will change you and your working environment, it is your attitude.

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Pessimist or Optimist—It’s Your Attitude

• Your mind is like a garden, whatever you plant, it will return back to you. If you plant negative thoughts and continuously feed and nourish those thoughts then that is what will grow in your life. On the other hand if you constantly think positive and optimistic thoughts then your life will be positive and optimistic. You cannot plant one type of thought in your mind and expect a different result to grow.

• Story of two six-year old boys: One boy was an optimist and the other was a pessimist. This difference concerned the parents so they took the boys to see a therapist to see if there was some way to create an even temperament in the boys. The therapist decided to put the pessimist in a room full of the latest toys and video games and the optimist in a room full of horse manure. This would make the one more optimistic and the other more pessimistic. Several hours had passed the therapist went into the room full of toys and found the pessimistic boy in tears. When asked what the problem was the boy said “I don’t know what to play with first, and I’m afraid I’ll break something”. The therapist then went into the room full of manure. There he found the optimistic child singing and dancing with joy in the manure. When questioned by the therapist why he was so happy about being in horse manure, the boy said, “With all this manure, there must be a pony here somewhere.”

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Having a good attitudeHaving a positive attitude makes life easier. People who have

positive attitudes treat problems as challenges. Instead of being discouraged, they treat each failure as a lesson learned and become motivated to achieve their goal. People who don’t have positive attitudes see problems and difficulties as cause for becoming discouraged.

Don’t let difficulties start you on a downward spiral towards depression. Learn to think positively before discouragement and depression can set in.

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Having a good attitudeWhen you have a positive attitude, you are happier. It has been scientifically proven that people who have positive attitudes have:

(1) healthier bodies

(2) happier marriages (3) accomplish much more

(4) live longer. It has also been shown that other people prefer to be around people who have positive attitudes.

The difference between being happy and sad, successful andunsuccessful is learning how to handle challenges and difficulty.It is all about your attitude.

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Having a good attitude

• Your attitude will be one of the biggest determining factors of your future success in your career. Your attitude is what you will be known (and remembered) by. Attitude will determine the altitude of your career!

• Many companies hire for attitude and train for skill. Your attitude will be exhibited and can be researched on social networking sites (e.g. Facebook), from friends, in letters of recommendations you receive, from former teachers and from anyone who knows you. Most companies have full-time Facebook searchers.

Hard Work + Positive Attitude +Enthusiasm = Success

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Be Careful what you write that shows your attitude on Facebook, etc.

• Quotes from articles on the internet:– Why Facebook can ruin your chances of getting

hired, and might even get you fired. Just like your cover letter, resume and job interview, social networking sites have also become an important component in which employers base their decision to hire you or not. Preserve your professional image by always being cautious.

– Writing the wrong comments on Facebook has resulted in some people losing their jobs!

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Having a good attitudeExamples of bad attitudes

Constantly discouraged Constantly grumbles “It’s too hard” “I can’t do it” “It’s not my fault” “No one understands how hard it

really is” “Life’s not fair” “It’s so much harder than I thought

it would be” “I’m not doing well enough” “I’m not making a difference” “Everyone else is falling short; I may

as well” “I just can’t be happy doing this” Has tendency to quit Lacks energy

Examples of good attitudes “I can overcome these difficulties” “I will always work hard, no matter

what the results” “I have made a commitment; I can’t

quit—people depend on me” Says “thank you” even when difficult Says “could you please help me here” Is willing to learn and grow Sees difficulty as a challenge, not a

roadblock Doesn’t worry about who gets the

credit Has energy and ambition Always does more than his (her) fair

share Tries to improve self, not others Never gives up Is punctual and prepared

Tell about missionary—I can now do anything!

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Give up or have a positive attitude?• In 2003, the world was gripped by Ralston’s true-life story, the story of a

then-27-year-old man who cut off his own right arm to free himself from an 800-pound rock that had fallen on his arm, trapping him for six days between the deep red walls of a tiny slot canyon in Utah the width of his shoulders.

• Ralston’s right hand and forearm, three inches thick, were compressed into a space one inch thick, under a boulder that weighed six times as much as he did. He was trapped. I knew right away that one option was to cut off my arm and on the third day, I tried. But when I hit bone, the knife wouldn’t go through. I was stuck.” “It’s not what you do in life, it’s what you are. “I knew right away that one option was to cut off my arm and on the third day, I tried. But when I hit bone, the knife wouldn’t go through. I was stuck.” “I couldn’t cut through the bone in my arm, but I could break it,” he said. So he did, leveraging the arm against the rock, snapping it. “I forgot there are two bones in the arm,” he said. “So I broke that one too,” he said. He cut through the remaining flesh and left his forearm and hand trapped beneath the boulder. It was, he said, horrific and beautiful all at once.

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Importance of Good Relationships

• In the final analysis, all that matters is your integrity and the relationships you have with others. Everything else will pale in comparison. Having good relationships with your spouse, children, family members, coworkers, neighbors, etc. is extremely important if you want to be successful and happy.

When your Relationships are Good, your Life (and Eternity) is Good

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5 Things that Cause Problems in Relationships

Reasons for Problems in Relationships

Rationalizations

Lac

k of H

onor D

ifferences in

Expectations

Externalities (Distractions)

Hard Heart (lack of Spirit)

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1. Differences in Expectations

• Spending, Debt & Money• Communication• Work ethic• Time management• Sexual relations• Types of relaxation (e.g. T.V)• In-laws and relationships with others• Fitness• Etc.

Differences in expectations are solved by communication! (My clothes)

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2. Tendency to Rationalize

• We all judge ourselves by our intentions• All of our actions fall short of our intentions—none of us is as good as our

intentions• We all judge others by their actions• No one is as good as we think we are; similarly, no one is as bad as others

think we are• Because our intentions are better than our actions, we all rationalize• Rationalizations

– Spending/Debt– Fitness– Type of student, father, husband, wife

or mother we are– Work– Education– Etc.

Rationalizations are solved by awareness of self,being proactive, having a positive attitude and working hard!

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3. Lack of Honor• When you honor something or someone, nothing is as valuable,

important, weighty or significant (God, spouse, etc.)• Honor means that you change yourself, not others• Kindness is communicating through your actions that you honor

someone, not by what you say (Preach the Gospel [Be kind] at all times. Use words if necessary. Saint Francis of Assisi)

• If you honor someone, you never do anything behind their back (conflict of interest)

• If you honor someone, you would never hurt them because you view the long-term relationship as valuable. (I would never do anything to hurt my wife—she’s my partner for eternity.)

Honor is accomplished by asking yourself every time, how will this affect them and then doing everything youcan to make them happy?

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4. Externalities (Distractions)

• Externalities are things (distractions) that come in from the outside and create problems (Even good things can cause problems if excessive)– Exercise– In-laws– Pets– Work– Travel– Friends– Bad habits– Greed– Conflicts of interest– Money

Externalities are overcome by keeping things in perspective

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5. Hard Heart (Lack of Spirit)

• When you have the Spirit, two things happen– You are happy– You think of others first

• Think about your mission• In marriage, if you have Spirit, who will you put first?• What are some heart-softening activities?

Hard hearts are overcome by getting close to the spirit—scripture reading, prayer, service to others, etc.

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Great quote• Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

offered this counsel: “Some of us have the mote and beam problem. If the choice is between reforming others [including fiancés, spouses, and children] or ourselves, is there really any question about where we should begin? The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others—not the other way around! The imperfections of others never release us from the need to work on our own shortcomings. Therefore, when we focus on finding the right person, we should also focus on becoming the right person for someone else. The strengths we bring to a marriage will undoubtedly contribute to the success of the marriage.”

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Lessons for life—Fighters v. Peacemakers

• There are two kinds of people in the world—fighters and peacemakers. Which are you? – Fighters debate everything.– Fighters always have to be right.– Fighters have a hard time saying “I’m sorry” or “I was

wrong” or “I apologize”– Peacemakers know that life is too short to fight or not get

along. Making others happy is very important to them.– Fighters are more self-centered; peacemakers are more

selfless.– Peacemakers are willing to say “I’m sorry” even when they

are wrong. To avoid conflict, they are willing to let others think they are right.

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Lessons for life—Getting Along With Others

• Peacemakers v. Fighters– It’s hard to underestimate the impact of getting

along with people on your career. People would rather work with someone who is likeable and incompetent than with someone who is skilled and difficult. More people have lost their job from poor interpersonal relations than from incompetence.

– When it comes to keeping a job, getting along with others matters more than anything else.

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The Ten Commandments of How to Get Along With People

1. Keep chains on your tongue. Always say less than you think. Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. Understand that how you say something counts more than what you say.

2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what the cost.

3. Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody. Praise good work, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, offer it gently, never harshly. Always write thank you notes.

4. Always be interested in others---their pursuits, their work, their missions, etc. Let everyone you meet feel that you regard him or her as a person of importance.

5. Don’t burden or depress those around you by dwelling on your minor aches and pains and disappointments. Remember, everyone is carrying some kind of burden, often heavier than your own.

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The Ten Commandments of How to Get Along With People

6. Keep an open mind. Discuss, but don’t argue. It is the mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

7. Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves. Refuse to talk of other’s vices. Discourage gossip. It is a waste of valuable time, and can be extremely destructive.

8. Be careful of another’s feelings. Wit and humor at another person’s expense may do more damage than you will ever know.

9. Pay no attention to disparaging remarks. Remember, the person who carried the message may not be the most accurate reporter in the world, and things become twisted in the retelling. Live so that nobody will believe them.

10. Don’t be too eager to get the credit due you. Do your best, and be patient. Forget about yourself, and let others “remember”. Always focus on others, not yourself.

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Bible Scriptures About Getting Along

• Matthew 5:9: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

• Proverbs 17:14: The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

• Philippians 2:3-4: Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

• 1 Peter 5:5: Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

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Bible Scriptures About Getting Along

• Matthew 7:12: Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

• Proverbs 18:24: A man who has friends must himself be friendly.• Proverbs 16:24: Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness

to the soul and health to the bones.• Philippians 4:5: Let your gentleness be known to all men. The

Lord is at hand.• James 3:6-10: And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The

tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body. But no man can tame the tongue. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

• Proverbs 16:28: A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends.

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Book of Mormon Scriptures About Getting Along

• From 3 Nephi 11 in the Book of Mormon, we read:– There shall be no disputations among you. …For verily, verily I say unto

you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.

• To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. (Pres. Thomas S. Monson)

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One of my mom’s favorite sayings

• “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

• CEO Experience• In the past 4,000 years, there has only been

300 years of peace in the world. The world is too full of fighters—there are not enough peacemakers.

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Being Proactive—Having Initiative is Extremely Important

• Being Proactive” is habit #1 from Steve Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Being proactive means taking conscious control over your life, setting goals and working to achieve them. It means not waiting for people to tell you what to do but instead to roll up your sleeves and take initiative. Instead of reacting to events and waiting for opportunities, go out and create your own events and opportunities.

• Proactive students and employees plan effectively, work hard and smart, think about how to be successful, don’t wait for their colleagues to help them work or study but, instead, set aggressive goals and work hard to accomplish them.

Sis. Albrecht and I really appreciated the missionaries who would rollup their sleeves and help with dishes, etc. when we fed missionaries.

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Being Proactive—Having Initiative is Extremely Important

• Most people are reactive instead of proactive. Successful people are successful simply because they are more proactive than ordinary people.

• Ordinary people wait for things to happen and then only they will do something about it. For example, most people will wait for their boss to tell them what to do before they start their work.

• This is one of the most powerful habits you must adopt into your life if you want to be successful.

• Successful people are not more lucky than others. It is just that they are more proactive than most people.

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Having initiative or being proactive is about taking responsibility for your life

• Proactive People:– Don’t blame others such as

parents or grandparents– Recognize that they are

"response-able." – Don't blame genetics,

circumstances, conditions, or anything else

– Know they have the power and freedom to determine how they will act in every situation

– Recognize what needs to be done before being asked to do it.

– Have confidence

• Reactive People:– Are affected by their

environment– Find external sources to blame

for their behavior (e.g. if the weather is good, they feel good; if it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance—they blame the weather)

– Believe they are not responsible for what they say and do—believe they have no choice

– Don’t like to accept consequences

– Lack confidence

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Indicators of Being Proactive (Initiative)

People who are proactive• Don’t wait to be told what to do• Set goals and accomplish them• Like to be held accountable• Are independent• Are hard working• Can see what needs to be done• Take responsibility for actions• Can act alone• Enjoy successes• Usually move up the ladder

professionally• Aren’t easily offended

People who aren’t proactive• Make excuses• Rationalize• Need to be told what to do• Lack energy• Blame others for lack of success• Don’t like to be held

accountable• Don’t know how to set and

accomplish goals• Rely on others• Are unresponsive• Don’t meet deadlines• Get offended easily

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Scriptures About Being Proactive—Having Initiative

• “Wherefore the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself…” (2 Ne. 2:16)

• Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly.” (1 Peter 5:2)

• For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.” (D&C 58:26)

• Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God.” (D&C 123:17)

The Gospel is always consistent with principles of success!

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Great Examples of Having Initiative

• Nephi: “Let us go up again..let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all of the earth and mightier than Laban.” (When getting the plates) (1 Ne. 4:1)

• And David said to Saul, Let no man’s heart fail because of him; thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine. Saul said, thou art not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him: for thou are but a youth, and he a man of war from his youth.” (1 Samuel 17:32-33)

• President Spencer W. Kimball “Just do it.”• “And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I,

send me.” (Abraham 3:27) Christ stepped forward and volunteered to be our Savior and to die for us.

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What is punctuality• Punctuality is the habit of doing things exactly on time or even

earlier than required. A punctual person will be a winner everywhere. A punctual person is always one step ahead of others. For students it is a great blessing. If you are punctual, you will have enough time to do your work and prepare according to your plan. In hospitals, punctuality can mean the difference between life and death. If you are punctual, you command respect and admiration of all who work with you and are an asset to your company. Everybody likes to work with you. On the contrary, an unpunctual person sees himself as always being behind and is gradually filled with despair. He generally causes inconvenience to others and most of the time is a liability on any team. Punctuality is one of the main determinants of success in business. If you want to be successful, you have to be very particular about being punctual. The failure to keep up an engagement punctually may mean a lost deal in the business world.

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Punctuality

• "Nothing inspires confidence sooner than punctuality, nor is there any habit which sooner saps a person’s reputation than that of being always behind time." (W. Mathews) What does being punctual say about you?– 1. You care. Showing up and on time is one of the best ways to show

others you care about others. By keeping your commitments to others, you are acknowledging them and their needs. No one knows how much you care about them until you show them ... by showing up.

– 2. You respect others. Horace Mann said, "Unfaithfulness in the keeping of an appointment is an act of clear dishonesty. You may as well borrow a person's money as his time." Arriving on time for customer meetings, speaking engagements, meetings with others, or anything else you do, shows that you respect others.

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Punctuality– 3. You are professional. Thomas C. Haliburton said, "Punctuality is the soul of

business." As a professional, you have a toolkit of knowledge and behaviors that serve to create an aura of professionalism. Being on time is a fundamental tool for anyone who wants to be perceived as being the very best.

– 4. You are confident. When you show up on time, it's a sign that you are confident to take on whatever might lay before you. Tardiness can imply that you aren't confident. Confidence is the companion of success, and by showing up on time, you're putting yourself one step closer to achieving it.

– 5. You are ready to receive others. Punctuality says to others, "I'm ready". It implies that you are open to allowing more into your life. You're ready to meet and discuss whatever the task is. People who "aren't ready" tend to show up late or not at all.

– 6. You have an edge. Being punctual gives you an edge in the business world. Undoubtedly you've heard the proverb, "The early bird gets the worm.” In today's competitive business world, timing is everything. With businesses moving at the speed of light thanks to the latest technologies, delay of any sort can cost you clients. Being punctual is great; being early is even better!

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Punctuality– 7. You're in control. Not only do people choose to do business with

those who they like, know, and trust, they also like doing business with people who are in control. Business owners who always arrive early or on time to appointments give the impression that they manage things well. It gives others the impression that you are reliable in everything that you do.

– 8. You have a standard for excellence. Punctuality is a standard for operating excellence. Not only does it imply that you are in control, it shows that you respect yourself and others. Successful, well-liked people typically have punctuality as one of their highest values.

– 9. Your habit is your brand. Over time, if you deal with the same person or groups of people, you will become known as someone who is punctual. You will be perceived as a business professional who respects others and who is confident and in control. This natural way of being will take on a life of its own and become part of your personal branding.

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President Hinckley on Punctuality

• I was in personal meetings with President Hinckley 3 times. All three times, we started the meeting at least 15 minutes early, twice after eating lunch and one at a church meeting. With President Hinckley, if you weren’t early, you were late. Everyone who ever met or worked with him knew this and they all came early. No one ever showed up to a meeting with Pres. Hinckley just “on time.”

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Never be late (with an assignment; to a meeting, etc.)

• Positive consequences– Will help you be a leader– Will give you additional opportunities– Will help you be a role model for your family – Timeliness is highly valued in the business world—

punctuality will brand you• Possible Negative consequences

– Will sometimes lead to additional work– May cause you to have less patience and lose some

respect for some people

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Setting Effective Priorities

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SetSetting Effective Prioritiesting Priorities

• Before you can set priorities, you should know what your priorities should be.– Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God (2 Ne. 21:18)– Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all they soul and

with all they might (Mark 12:30, Moroni 10:32)– Choose ye this day whom ye shall serve, but for me and my

house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15)– 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially

for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

– D&C 132: 19: “And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word…and by the new and everlasting covenant…and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers…and a continuation of the sees forever and forever.”

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Why Setting Priorities is Important• None of us has enough time to accomplish everything we

need or want to– If you don’t pro-actively set priorities, you won’t accomplish nearly

as much or what you want and/or need to

• Priorities help us spend your time, money and effort in the ways we really want to—the right places for the right things

• How you spend your time, money and effort determines what is important to you and who you are (TV watcher, sports enthusiast, sleeper, fisher, couch potato, gardener, missionary, student, husband or wife, mother or father, etc.)

• People who know how to set priorities accomplish their goals and are much more productive than those who don’t. (If you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know.)

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Why Setting Priorities is Important

• Story of boy who chopped wood—great woodchopper but that isn’t what he moved to the city from the farm to do. He forgot to go to school.

• The person who sets no priorities is like a log drifting down the river—it goes wherever the current takes it.

• Once you get out of school and working, your toughest decisions will be how to balance your time between work, family, church, civic responsibility, and personal time (juggling balls--don’t drop any of the glass balls.)

• If you don’ set priorities and manage your time, your time will be taken by meetings and events schedule by others. As we discussed when talking about time management, most things that are important, don’t have a scheduled time unless you pro-actively schedule them. Only through setting appropriate priorities and following through on those priorities will you become who you want to be.

• Spending time with children & spouse (ad: $1 for dad)• Going to the temple• Personal scripture study• Personal prayer• Completing your church assignment• Getting married• Etc.

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Setting Effective Priorities• Set goals (Examples)

– Get married in the temple– Get a good education

• Identify daily and yearly objectives that will help you accomplish your goals– Date once a week and only date girls (boys) who are living the Gospel and

whom I would want to be my eternal companion and the father (mother) of my children

– Take 16 credit hours per semester and get at least a 3.5 GPA each semester

• Identify risks that inhibit success and identify ways to deal with them– I tend to watch TV and sleep when I have free time and aren’t pro-active

in meeting girls (boys)—Meet at least one new girl (boy) at church each Sunday

– I waste a lot of time watching TV—minimize my TV watching to 3 hours per week or get rid of TV

– Avoid distractions

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Setting Priorities Helps• What kind of priorities should we set?

– Priorities that are consistent with the Gospel—move you closer to God– Priorities that maximize appropriate relationships with others—in the end, it is only

relationships that have meaning– Priorities that result in personal and family improvement– Priorities that allow you to serve and think of others– Priorities that will bring you success

• Some “setting priority” hints– Make a “to do” list each evening for the next day and rank order the items on the list.

Then cross them off one at a time the next day as you accomplish them. Do the same thing at the end of each day.

– Set a long-term calendar that blocks out time for important activities (e.g. family time, church time, work, etc.)

– Have a regularly scheduled planning session with those who share your goals, hopes and aspirations (e.g. wife, husband, children, parents, Heavenly Father, etc.) and ask yourselves together how you are doing. Don’t be afraid to make changes midstream.

– Have a family and/or personal mission statement– Keep a picture of those you love (family, the Savior, etc.) close by and look at it often to

keep your focused (so you don’t get sidetracked.)– Reward yourself for accomplishments. Make successes fun.– Don’t get discouraged—remember mountains are climbed one step at a time.

• Stories– R.C. Willey—Bill Child

Setting Effective Priorities

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What does having integrity mean?

• Always doing what’s right, regardless of the consequences

• Never taking shortcuts• Being truthful, non-deceptive• Having courage of your convictions (standing for

something)• Keeping commitments (promise keeping)• Being true to your purpose (loyal)• Being fair to others• Being rule abiding (responsible citizenship)• Honoring the trust of others• Accepting responsibility for your actions

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Why People Compromise Their Integrity

CompromiseTriangle

Perceived Pressure

Perceived Opportunity Rationalization

+

+

+

Cheating ExamplePressure: Need to get good grades to keep a scholarshipOpportunity: The professor leaves the room during testsRationalization: Every- body cheats a little

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Example of True Integrity• On April 24th, 1976, President Karl G. Maeser made his first

official address to the 29 students of Brigham Young Academy (now BYU). He said, “I trust you all. I give you my confidence. I hope you will do nothing to weaken that confidence. I put you all on your word of honor.” On a later date, he was asked to explain what he meant by honor. He said, “My young friends, I have been asked what I mean by ‘word of honor.’ I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls—walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground—there is a possibility that in some way or another I may be able to escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of that circle? No. Never! I’d die first.”

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Integrity LeadershipHelping Others Around You to Have Integrity

Integrity LeadershipHelping Others Around You to Have Integrity

Courage to Act With IntegrityWillingness to Pay the Price for Integrity

Courage to Act With IntegrityWillingness to Pay the Price for Integrity

Applying Personal Integrity to Different Situations(Work, School, Play, Missionary, Finances, etc.)

Applying Personal Integrity to Different Situations(Work, School, Play, Missionary, Finances, etc.)

Integrity Development Model

Developing Personal IntegrityRight/wrong, Fairness, Honesty, Respect for Others

Developing Personal IntegrityRight/wrong, Fairness, Honesty, Respect for Others

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WalMart’s View(Affect of honest leaders)

Swing GroupCould Go Either Way

(Depending on pressures, opportunities and rationalizationsand the presence or absence of ethical leaders)

Swing GroupCould Go Either Way

(Depending on pressures, opportunities and rationalizationsand the presence or absence of ethical leaders)

Dishonest EmployeesPolicies Won’t Help Much

Dishonest EmployeesPolicies Won’t Help Much

Honest EmployeesWill be Honest Always

Honest EmployeesWill be Honest Always

Ethical Leadership will significantly impact an organization since the vast majority, in this view, can be influenced to behave ethically. It is the

same with families.

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Why is Dishonesty Increasing?

Modeling Labeling

Honesty

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Why Is Dishonesty Increasing?

• Bad Modeling/Lack of Good Modeling– Makes up our news

— more explicit than ever

– Focus of TV/movies– Dishonest “leaders”– Sports, business,

entertainment “heroes”

– Good models are rare

• Lack of Positive Labeling– Home….average family

spends 10 hours less time together a week than 20 years ago

– Vocabulary of kindergarten children

– Schools– Churches

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An example of Courage to Act With Integrity

• A friend related this experience her husband had while attending medical school. “Getting into medical school is pretty competitive, and the desire to do well and be successful puts a great deal of pressure on the new incoming freshmen. My husband had worked hard on his studies and went to attend his first examination. The honor system was expected behavior at the medical school. The professor passed out the examination and left the room. Within a short time, students started to pull little cheat papers out from under their papers or from their pockets. My husband recalled his heart beginning to pound as he realized it is pretty hard to compete against cheaters. About that time a tall, lanky student stood up in the back of the room and stated: ‘I left my hometown and put my wife and three little babies in an upstairs apartment and worked very hard to get into medical school. And I’ll turn in the first one of you who cheats, and you better believe it!’ They believed it. There were many sheepish expressions, and those cheat papers started to disappear as fast as they had appeared. He set a standard for the class which eventually graduated the largest group in the school’s history. The young, lanky medical student who challenged the cheaters was J Ballard Washburn, who became a respected physician and in later years received special recognition from the Utah Medical Association for his outstanding service as a medical doctor. He also served as a General Authority and is now the president of the Las Vegas Nevada Temple.” (President James Faust, Oct. 1996; Honesty: A Moral Compass)

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Importance of Integrity--Interview with the Savior (Pres. McKay)

• Let me assure you, Brethren, that some day you will have a personal priesthood interview with the Savior himself. If you are interested, I will tell you the order in which he will ask you to account for your earthly responsibilities.

• First, he will request an accountability report about your relationship with your wife (husband). Have you actively been engaged in making her (him) happy and ensuring that her (his) needs have been met as an individual?

• Second, he will want an accountability report about each of your children individually. He will not attempt to have this for simply a family stewardship but will request information about your relationship to each and every child.

• Third, he will want to know what you personally have done with the talents you were given in the preexistence.

• Fourth, he will want a summary of your activity in your Church assignments. He will not be necessarily interested in what assignments you have had, for in his eyes the home teacher and a mission president are probably equals, but he will request a summary of how you have been of service to your fellow man in your Church assignments.

• Fifth, he will have no interest in how you earned your living but if you were honest in all your dealings.

• Sixth, he will ask for an accountability on what you have done to contribute in a positive manner to your community, state, country, and the world” (President David O. McKay, as Reported by Cloyd Hofheins in a talk to the Seventies Quorum of Provo Utah Oak Hills Stake, May 16, 1982) .

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Scriptural References of Integrity

• Till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me (Job 27:5)• The just man walks in his integrity (Prov. 20:7)• They were men who were true at all times in whatsoever

thing they were entrusted (Stripling Warriors) (Alma 53:20)• The Lord loved Hyrum Smith because of the integrity of his

heart (D&C 124:15)• Examples of a lack of integrity in the scriptures

– Cain….Betrayed and killed brother and then lied about it– Judas…started off right and betrayed the Savior– David…started off right but compromised his integrity

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Integrity—the Most Important Virtue

• A former first counselor in the Young Women General Presidency (Carol B. Thomas) when her oldest daughter, Becky, who was 16, asked “What is the most important quality to look for in a husband?”, responded “Integrity.”

• If you have integrity, you can trust your husband (wife). And, if you can trust your husband, you can work through any other difficulty. A marriage with trust is a good marriage, a marriage without trust is a bad marriage.

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Benefits of Integrity

• If we have total integrity– Our marriages will be better (we will have marriages of

trust) – We will be more successful in our careers (everyone will

trust you) – We will have better families– People will respect us more – We will always have a clear conscience.

• Having integrity (being honest) is one of the most important but difficult concepts in the Gospel. Having integrity is so important there is even a temple recommend question about your integrity.

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My Favorite Poem About Integrity—Do You Have Integrity

"The Man In The Glass" When you get what you want in your struggle for life And the world makes you king for a day,Just go to the mirror and look at yourselfAnd see what the man has to say. For it isn't your father or mother or wifeWhose judgment upon you must pass,The fellow whose verdict counts most in your lifeIs the one staring back from the glass. You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plumAnd think you're a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you're only a bumIf you can't look him straight in the eye. He's the fellow to please--never mind all the rest,For he's with you clear to the end, And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult testIf the man in the glass is your friend.

You can’t cheat onyourself and you can’t cheat on theLord without you and the Lord Knowing!

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Elements of Goal Setting & Planning

1. Reporting what has been done2. Setting goals3. Making plans to accomplish the goals--planning

Goal setting is the difference between going somewhere and ending up somewhere. Goals reflect your vision of what you can accomplish. Planning helps you decide how you will achieve your goals.

Reporting(What was our results)

Goal Setting (What we want to

accomplish)

Planning (How we will get

there)

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Reporting: What has occurred

Reporting is not planning nor goal setting. Reporting helps us see what has happened. We are required to report to the Lord an accounting of our stewardship. Reporting doesn’t help us be more effective. Reporting only helps us to see where we have been. (D&C 72:3) It is important to know where you are before you can know where you want to go and improve.

When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates. (President Thomas S. Monson, PMG, p. 150)

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Goal Setting

I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life. (Elder M. Russell Ballard, PMG, p. 146)

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John F. Kennedy’s “stretch” goal

• In a speech to Congress on May 25, 1961, President John F. Kennedy declared: “Now it is time to take longer strides - time for a great new American enterprise - time for this nation to take a clearly leading role in space achievement, which in many ways may hold the key to our future on earth. We have never specified long-range goals on an urgent time schedule, or managed our resources and our time so as to insure their fulfillment… I therefore ask the Congress, above and beyond the increases I have earlier requested for space activities, to provide the funds which are needed to meet the following national goals: First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth.

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John F. Kennedy’s “stretch” goal

• On September 12, 1962, Kennedy said: “We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win…”

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John F. Kennedy’s “stretch” goal

• The Apollo 11 mission was the first manned mission to land on the moon. It was the fifth human spaceflight of Project Apollo and the third human voyage to the moon or moon orbit. Launched on July 16, 1969 (8 years later), it carried Mission Commander Neil Alden Armstrong, Command Module Pilot Michael Collins, and Lunar Module Pilot Edwin Eugene ‘Buzz’ Aldrin, Jr. On July 20, Armstrong and Aldrin became the first humans to land on the Moon, while Collins orbited above. The mission fulfilled President John F. Kennedy’s goal of reaching the moon by the end of the 1960s, which he had expressed during a speech given before a joint session of Congress on May 25, 1961.

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Me

Osaka, Japan World’s Fair, 1970United States Pavilion Space Exhibit

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Me

Osaska, Japan World’s Fair—Space Exhibit

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Setting Goals

• For goals to work, they must meet the SMART criteria:– S……Specific…They can’t be too general.– M….Measurable…You must be able to measure both

completion and progress in accomplishing them.– A…..Attainable…You must be able to make them come

true.– R…..Realistic…you must be willing and able to accomplish

them.– T…..Timely….must have a time frame tied to your goals;

otherwise there is no urgency.

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Setting Goals

• To make goals work, you must write them down and you must have a follow-up plan. You must review your goals often and assess how you are doing. Goals to which no or little attention is paid are goals that will never be accomplished.

Goals + Specific Plans to Accomplish + Follow-

up = Success

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Value of Goal Setting• Properly-set goals can be highly motivating,

and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds fast.

• By setting specific goals, you will be able to– define priorities– identify expected results– enhance companionship unity– improve your performance– clarify companionship expectations

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Value of Goal Setting• Research on goal setting tells us the following:

– People and organizations who set goals do better than those who do not—they don’t always accomplish all their goals, but they do much better than if they didn’t have goals.

– People who set specific goals do better than those who set vague goals

– Success in goal attainment is related to deliberate and conscious goal-setting

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Using Planning to Achieve Goals

• Once you have set goals, decide how you will achieve them. (PMG, p. 147). Planning is the crucial activity that designs the map for accomplishing your goals. The plan itself specifies what should be done, by whom, where, when, and how. All organizations and individuals-- from each of us individually to the largest multinational corporation — need to develop plans for achieving success. As missionaries, our planning should focus on the needs of people and how to help them progress.

Yesterday I attended a board meeting in Raleigh, North Carolina. We spent a lot of time talking about our goals and plans and went over the financial plan for next year. Every company does this annually.

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Reporting, Goal Setting, & Planning

Reporting—what we have done

Goal Setting—where we

want to be

Planning—how we

will get there

“…but this one thing I “For which of you do , forgetting those intending to build athings which are behind, tower sitteth not down and reaching forth first and counteth theunto those things which the cost where youare before, I press have sufficient to finishforward toward the it; lest haply, after hemark for the prize of the hath the foundation,high calling of God in and is not able to finishChrist Jesus.” it….” (Luke 14:28-29) (Philippians 3:13-14)

And, also, my servantswho are abroad in the earth should send forththe accounts of their stewardships to the landof Zion. (D&C 69:5)

That every man may givean account unto me of stewardship which isappointed unto him.(D&C 104:12)

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What we know we should do When we don’t do what we know Why we

must do 1. Be good students2. Be good husbands/wives3. Treat others with respect4. Work hard5. Plan appropriately6. Follow-up on assignments7. Get along with others8. Love others9. Study effectively10.Be worthy & pure11.Exercise—stay physically

fit12.Have positive attitudes13.Work effectively with others14. Have fun15. Be loyal to leaders16. Love parents/family17. Eat healthily18. Stay away from

temptation19. Seek personal revelation20. Use time wisely21. Etc.

1. We feel guilty2. We fall short of what we could accomplish3. We rationalize our actions.4. We blame others5. We judge others by their actions and our- selves by our intentions6. We have companionship problems7. We start doing other inappropriate activities

It is not enough to know; wemust do what we know is right.

1. President Hinckley “Just Do It”2. 3 Ne. 14:21: Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father who is in heaven.3. Alma 32:19: And now how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not…….

Examples:Harry Truman—Wouldn’t leave lodge at Spirit Lake on Mt. Saint Helens—knew better but hung on to other things he valued.United Flight 173—Even though low on fuel, the captain was non-chalant about what he knew and wouldn’t listen to others..

Life Lesson: Why Knowing What To Do Is Not Sufficient

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Harry TrumanHarry R. Truman was probably Mount St. Helens’ biggest celebrity. He became a folk hero in the weeks preceding the May 18 eruption by refusing to leave the Mt. St. Helens Lodge on the shores of Spirit Lake. He had been the caretaker of the lodge for over 50 years. He died in the volcanic eruption of May 18th, 1980 when he was blown 2 miles into the atmosphere.

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Steam starts to break through the snow

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Starting to look dangerous

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The beginning of the eruption

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The volcano starts roaring

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The massive eruption—somewhere in there is Harry Truman.

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Spirit Lake and HarryTruman are both gone.

It is not enough toknow what is right;we must do what isright.

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Effective Leadership1. You are all leaders—in your home,

church, work and community2. In life, some leaders are more effective

than others—have you ever considered why?

3. The most important element in the success of any organization (family, ward, etc.) is the quality of its leadership

4. Let’s answer the question: “What are the elements of effective leadership?”

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Effective Leaders Teach By Modeling Labeling

Behavior of others

What you What youdo…. say….

“What you do speaksso loudly I can’thear what you say.”

“Actions are moresignificant than words.”Will and Doom, .GershamBulkeley, 1692.

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How to “Model” & “Label” Effective Leadership

Prepare Yourself To Be A Leader

Establish A Shared Vision

Develop Processes to Accomplish Vision

Minimize Risks—Inhibitors of Success

Communicate Effectively

Element 1

Element 2

Element 3

Element 4

Element 5

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Element 1: Prepare Yourself: Characteristics of Good Leaders

1. They appreciate those they work with 12. They provide vision to followers2. They are willing to accept responsibility 13. They know how to run meetings.3. They learn from others 14. They can forgive and forget 4. They are visible and approachable 15. They subordinate their ambitions to5. They are good listeners the goals of the group6. They have a sense of humor 16. They are decisive—can make decisions7. They are punctual 17. They are enthusiastic8. They are reliable—they do what they promise 18. They are open minded9. They manage time well and balance priorities 19. They have integrity10. They are competent 20. They are doers—they lead by example11. They take care of their people 21. They are unselfish

It’s amazing how much can be accomplished when the leader doesn’t care who gets the credit.

You cannot be a great leader unless your confidence in others is as great as your confidence in yourself.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Prepare Yourself

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Element 2: Establish a Shared VisionPrepareYourself

Establish a

Shared Vision

Develop Processes To Accomplish

Mission

Assess Risks—Inhibitors of

Success

CommunicateEffectively

There can be no leadership without vision? You must know what you are trying to do.

If any one idea about leadership has inspired organizations for thousands of years, it’s the capacityto hold a shared picture of the future we seek to create. One is hard pressed to think of any organizationthat has sustained some measure of greatness in the absence of goals, values and mission that becamedeeply shared by the organization.

There are many paths in the dark woods, but few are braveenough to walk them. Fewer still are those who believe sodeeply in their own vision…that they risk saying, “Follow me,” as they begin the journey. Robert Richardson & Katherine Thayer

If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.Mathew 15:14

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Element 3: Implement Effective Processes

PrepareYourself

Establish a

Shared Vision

Develop Processes To Accomplish

Mission

Assess Risks—Inhibitors of

Success

CommunicateEffectively

An excellent strategy without adequate implementation will always lose to an adequate strategy with excellent implementation.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and theywill surprise you with their ingenuity. George Patton

Set deadlines in the process of making decisions. Delay is the enemy of change; deadlines are flags that help call attention to stalling.

A memo from Machiavelli

Success comes when every member of the team takes ownershipof the vision and accepts responsibility for his or her part in achieving it.

Vision is only a dream if it does not have commitment and support from the people involved. You must delegate effectively.

An ounce of performance is worth the whole world of promise.

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Element 4: Minimize RisksPrepareYourself

Establish a

Shared Vision

Develop Processes To Accomplish

Mission

Minimize Risks—Inhibitors of

Success

CommunicateEffectively

You must assess the risks and determine how to dealwith them. Failure to understand and prepare for risks and inhibitors of success generally results in failure.

The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word crisis. One brush stroke stands for danger, the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of danger and risk—but recognize the opportunity. Richard Nixon

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second and keep your foot on first. Frederick D. Wilcox

Be willing to make decisions even if they involve risk. That’s the most important quality of a good leader. Don’t fall victim to what I call the “ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.” You must be willing to fire.

T. Boone Pickens

If you miss seven balls out of ten, you’re batting three hundred and that’s good enough for the Hall of Fame. You can’t score if you keep you bat on your shoulders. Walter B. Wriston

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Element 5: Communicate EffectivelyPrepareYourself

Establish a

Shared Vision

Develop Processes To Accomplish

Mission

Assess Risks—Inhibitors of

Success

CommunicateEffectively

Failure to communicate effectively is failure to succeed!The water must get to the end of the row.

As we communicate our expectations of others, we influence their expectations of themselves. Have you listened to and involved thoseyou lead in vision, process and risk identification?

You communicate your enthusiasm through your words, voice qualityand body language.

Even if blame is justified, it serves no constructive purpose.

One of my favorite sayings is that in this company we stick every bitof criticism between two layers of praise. Mary Kay

Intentions Expression Reception InterpretationIs your Consistency Was it given? Was it understood?purpose clear? between verbal Was it received?Who needs to hear? and non-verbal.

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Five Elements of Leadership—A Review

Prepare Yourself To Be A Leader

Establish A Shared Vision

Develop Processes to Accomplish Vision

Assess Risks—Inhibitors of Success

Communicate Effectively

Element 1

Element 2

Element 3

Element 4

Element 5

Leaders who follow these steps are highly successful!

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Leadership--Conclusion

Neal A. Maxwell: There are too many tacit, silent deals in which one person agrees not to demand full measure if the other person will agree to mediocrity when excellence may be possible. The unwillingness of most leaders to set standards, to administer feedback when standards are not met, to praise clearly when standards are met, stands in the way of the development of excellence. The leader who makes no demands of his disciples cannot really lead them at all.

Sept. 19, 1992

.

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Personal Money Management

W. Steve AlbrechtApril 2, 2013

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Outline• Basic Principles—Cover briefly

– Being self sufficient– Paying a full tithing– Preparing for the future

• Specific Money Management Topics– Budgeting – Saving– Debt Management– Insurance– Identity Theft

• Topics we won’t cover tonight but about which you can ask questions at the end if you choose– Investments– Wills, trusts, estates – Taxes– Other financial topics

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Basic Principle 1: Being Self Reliant

• “ ‘The Savior has commanded the Church and its members to be self-reliant and independent. ...

• 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

• “ ‘As people become self-reliant, they are better prepared to endure adversities’ and are ‘better able to care for others in need’ ” (M. Russell Ballard, “Becoming Self-Reliant Spiritually and Physically,” Ensign, Mar. 2009, 51).

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Being Self Reliant• "We become self-reliant," explains Julie Beck, president of the Relief Society,

"through obtaining sufficient knowledge, education, and literacy; by managing money and resources wisely, being spiritually strong, preparing for emergencies and eventualities; and by having physical health and social and emotional well-being."

• Church leader Elder Robert D. Hales outlines ways we can become self-reliant:– Be ready for rainy-day emergencies– Avoid excessive debt; be content with what we have– Use the resources of the earth wisely; don´t be wasteful– Prepare for the future by making spending and savings plans– Keep a family or personal budget– Teach children wise spending habits and help them save for the future– Obtain an education or vocational training– Find gainful employment

• As we become self-reliant, we will be prepared to face challenges with confidence and peace of mind.

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Being Self Reliant

• Living providently reflects our true eternal nature: we are “to act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26). The Lord wants us to be responsible and independent (see D&C 78:14). He wants us to live providently because of who we become in the process: responsible, generous, mature, kind. For the more self-reliant we are, the better we can help our families and others. How can we feed the hungry if we ourselves are hungry?

• Summary on self-reliance: We need to do all we can to become self reliant and to help bless the lives of others.

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Basic Principle 2: Pay a Full Tithe

• The Lord can’t bless us unless we are honest with him.• As a boy I learned a great lesson of faith and sacrifice as I worked on my

grandfather’s farm during the terrible economic depression of the 1930s. The taxes on the farm were delinquent, and Grandfather, like so many, had no money. There was a drought in the land, and some cows and horses were dying for lack of grass and hay. One day when we were harvesting what little hay there was in the field, Grandfather told us to take the wagon to the corner of the field where the best stand of hay stood and fill the wagon as full as we could and take it to the tithing yard as payment of his tithing in kind. I wondered how Grandfather could use the hay to pay tithing when some of the cows that we were depending upon to sustain us might starve. I even questioned if the Lord expected that much sacrifice from him. Ultimately, I marveled at his great faith that somehow the Lord would provide. The legacy of faith he passed on to his posterity was far greater than money, because he established in the minds of his children and grandchildren that above all he loved the Lord and His holy work over other earthly things. He never became wealthy, but he died at peace with the Lord and with himself. President James E. Faust, 1998

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Pay a Full Tithe• My mother was a widow, with a large family to provide for.

One spring when we opened our potato pits she had her boys get a load of the best potatoes, and she took them to the tithing office; potatoes were scarce that season. I was a little boy at the time, and drove the team. When we drove up to the steps of the tithing office, ready to unload the potatoes, one of the clerks came out and said to my mother, “Widow Smith, it’s a shame that you should have to pay tithing.” He chided my mother for paying her tithing, called her anything but wise or prudent; and said there were others who were strong and able to work that were supported from the tithing office. My mother turned upon him and said: “William, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Would you deny me a blessing? If I did not pay my tithing, I should expect the Lord to withhold His blessings from me. I pay my tithing, not only because it is a law of God, but because I expect a blessing by doing it. By keeping this and other laws, I expect to prosper and to be able to provide for my family.” President Joseph F. Smith, 1900

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Pay a Full Tithe• We can pay our tithing. It is not so much a matter

of money as it is a matter of faith. I have yet to find a faithful tithe payer who cannot testify that in a very literal and wonderful way the windows of heaven have been opened and blessings have been poured out upon him or her.

• With all my heart, I plead with the Latter-day Saints to live honestly with the Lord in the payment of tithes and offerings. President Gordon B. Hinkley, 1991

• Tithing Summary: I am a great believer of the blessings that come from faith in paying a full tithing. (Student experience) You cannot afford not to pay your tithing honestly.

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Basic Principle 3: Preparing for the Future

• There are always unexpected expenditures. You must not only live within your means today but you must prepare financially for the future. You must plan for future schooling for your children, retirement for you, and for the many unexpected expenses that will inevitably come your way.

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Putting Our Houses in Order

– I used to be a stake president of a singles stake.– What married student stake presidents wish their

member couples had learned or learned better before marriage:

• How to effectively and consistently manage the CHOICES that determine the status and condition of their:

– Finances– Relationships– Education– Spiritual Growth

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Putting Our Houses In Order• “Wherefore, men (and women) are free to choose liberty

and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death.”

II Nephi 2:27

• “While you are free to choose for yourself, you are NOT free to choose the consequences of your actions. When you make a choice, you will receive the consequences of that choice. The consequences may not be immediate, but they will always follow, for good or bad.”

“For the Strength of Youth “– pg. 4

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Now let’s get specific

• Remember, tonight in talking about putting our financial houses in order:

• We’re not talking about:– Money (Financial) Management

• But rather, we are talking about:– Consequence management through effective

choices

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President Gordon B. Hinckley Priesthood Meeting, October 3rd, 1998

• Story of Pharaoh’s dream of the seven fat cattle and the seven lean cattle

• “…I want to make it very clear that I am not prophesying, that I am not predicting years of faminein the future. But I am suggesting that the time has come to get our houses in order. There is a portent of stormy weather ahead to which we had better give heed.”

• “So many of our people are living on the very edge of their incomes. In fact, some are living on borrowings.”

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President Gordon B. Hinckley (cont.)

• “I urge you, brethren, to look to the condition of your finances.”

• “I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible.”

• “I urge you as members of this Church to get free of debt where possible and to have a little laid aside against a rainy day.”

• “Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage.”

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Ten most common financial mistakes that people make

1. Not setting financial goals (We sell our future for immediate gratification if we don’t have goals)

2. Living on borrowed money—too much and the wrong kind of debt3. Not budgeting—not spending our money in a pre-planned way4. Not having savings5. Not maintaining good financial records6. Not being adequately insured7. Not having emergency funds—the unexpected can kill your budgeting and

even the best financial plans8. Making spur-of-the-moment financial decisions (Also keeping up with the

Jones)9. Not having a will—deciding who will get your children and assets if

something happens to you10. Not communicating about money with your spouse and children—if it’s not

a team effort, your money management efforts will fail

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Effective Budgeting• How to budget

– Any fool can earn money; but it takes a wise man to save and dispose of it to his own advantage”, Brigham Young (Discourses of Brigham Young).

– You need to spend your money wisely…don’t run out of money before you run out of month.

– Make sure you know what is withheld and commited each month before you start spending.

– You can spend just as much if you budget as you can if you don’t budget…it’s just that you’ll spend it where you really want to and will avoid the negative consequences of not “being in charge of your finances”.

– Learning to budget effectively will bless your life and help you avoid the negative consequences of poor planning.

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Effective Budgeting

• Practical tips– You only budget what you have control over (Let’s look at an

example)

Gross Income $2,000 (You don’t make this much)Withholdings 500 (FICA, Fed. & State Withholding, etc.)

Take Home $1,500 (You don’t make this much)Fixed Expenses 980 (Car payment, rent, tithing, etc.)Discretionary Income $520 This is what you make No need to and should budget! This is budget these what you have control over.

Now, how do you budget the $520 discretionary income?

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Effective Budgeting

• Practical tips– From your discretionary income of $520, allocate a certain

amount of money for food, travel, etc. (Whatever you spend money on.)

– Always keep track of what you spend and what your balance is.

– Save some money for emergencies—there are always emergencies

– Make sure you are totally honest with your spouse and have good communication about money

– Whoever spends the money should do the day-to-day budgeting

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Budgeting your $520 per monthDateMar. 2013

Food Gas Clothing Hair, personal

Gifts Emergencies

Beg. Bal. $300 $60 $50 $50 $25 $35

Costco -83.25

Balance $216.75

Mar. 7Holiday

Mar. 2 -36

Balance $24

You must keep your budgeting up to date and simple or it will fail.

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Another way to budget

• Two checking account system

Income

1-2 automatictransfers per month

Pay only fixed expensesout of this account—goodbudgeter, non-spender runs this account. (Direct payment from bank account)

Pay the discretionaryexpenses out of thisaccount. The one whois the spender runs this account and keeps the budget.

LeAnn and I used this system until after our recent mission.

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Budgeting Conclusions

• You only make and you only budget what you have control over every month—everything else is already budgeted for you. (If you don’t believe it, try skipping a payment.)

• You must keep your budgeting program simple.• You must not give up. The result of giving up is negative

consequences, if not today, then tomorrow.• Make sure you budget everything (every category) you spend

your discretionary money on.• Reward yourself for being disciplined and keeping your budget.

If there is money left at the end of the month, go out to dinner, etc.

• Remember, you can spend just as much if you budget as you can if you don’t. You’ll just be in charge and will be able to know the consequences.

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Saving Money

1. The most important financial habit you will ever develop

2. There are always unexpected expenditures—you must have savings

3. The person who has no savings is like the farmer who eats his seed corn

4. Having savings will bring peace, contentment, and happiness into your marriage

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You Must Have a Savings Plan1. Save for Emergency Funds (3 to 6 months of expenditures)2. Save for Retirement—it’s tax deductible and can often be matched by your employer (96 out of 100 people will retire dependent on the government or family)3. Save for a Down Payment for a House4. Save for Vacations and Other Items that Make Life Fun5. Save for a New Car (Only borrow for your first car) (92% of all cars on the road have a payment.)6. Save for Sinking Funds

A sixth reason to save is to set up your sinking funds. A sinking fund is money you set aside for future repairs or improvements on your car, home or other possessions. This planning can help you to stop dipping into your emergency fund every time you need to fix your car.

7. Save for your’s and your children’s Educations8. Save for missions of children and grandchildren

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Savings

The American personal saving rate (total personal saving as a % of disposable personal income, i.e. income less taxes) has declined from a recent high point of 5.4% in 2008 to 4.7% in the 4th quarter of 2012. Savings appeared to get a boost at the onset of the economic crisis, however while the most recent number is markedly improved from 2005’s dismal 1.5%, a return to a downward trend now seems plausible.

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How Much Should You Save?

• Everyone makes a different amount each month. Everyone also has different financial obligations each month. It is important to realize that one set dollar amount is not going to work for everyone. Here are some basic guidelines you should follow when determining how much you should save each month.

• The standard that many experts set is at least ten percent of your income. This is a good starting point, to save ten percent of your salary. It is an easy way to start, because it is a set amount of money each month. It shouldn’t be that difficult to save ten percent of your income, but you may want to increase this amount over time.

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How Much Should You Save?

• Another common way to measure whether or not you are saving enough money is to check to see if you are saving until it hurts. If you feel like things are just a little bit tight, then you are saving appropriately. You may want to lighten up enough that you have breathing room in your budget, but tight enough that you still have to watch what you are spending each month.

• You may also want to work on increasing the amount you save each month. It is not unreasonable to begin saving twenty percent of your income or even more each month. If you make a significant more than you need to live each month, then you really should save a lot of money. It is also important to remember to give as well.

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The Key is to Start Saving Early!Bill starts saving for retirement at age 20Joe starts saving for retirement at age 40

0100000200000

300000400000

500000600000

700000800000

9000001000000

20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65

20 Start40 Start

Bill has accumulated over 5 times what Joe did by 65!

($2,000 per year at 8%)

$903,800

$172,702

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Where to Put Your SavingsType of Investment

Safety (Don’t Lose Principal)

Liquidity (Can I get my money out?)

Return (How much it will earn)

Financial Institution (e.g. CD)

High (up to $250K) Very liquid Very low < 1%

Treasury Bills High (Gov’t backed)

Short-term wait only

Very low < 1%

Bonds Depends on the bond—medium

Depends on the bond—medium

Low < 4% (will go down if interest rates go up)

Stocks Usually safe if held as a long-term investment

High liquidity Mixed returns; stock market is at all time high

Gold/Silver Very safe Medium High prices right now; mixed returns

Land/Real Estate Safe Not liquid Mixed returns

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Savings Conclusions

• You must have a savings program. Even if you aren’t earning much on your savings, the discipline of being a saver is very important.

• Even a little is better than none• Savings is a habit—once you start, you won’t

miss the money. Just subtract your savings amount as a fixed expense

• Don’t give up—there are negative long-term consequences of not saving

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General Debt Principles

• Don’t borrow unless you have to• Always borrow from the cheapest source• Always know how much you have borrowed• Always pay back the highest interest rate loans

first. Get rid of all loans as fast as you can.• Only borrow for absolutely needed items

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Debt Statistics

• Of every 20 people in America, 19 are net borrowers. Only 5% are net savers.

• Bankruptcies are high and Utah is one of the very highest states.

• We are the generation of debt (Proverbs 22:7: The rich ruleth over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender.”

• Does your income exceed your spending or does your spending exceed your income?

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Origin of Most Debt Problems?Spending Problems

Income Expenditures

Debt

When expenditures exceed income, you must borrow!

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When you have to borrow money

• Borrow from a financial institution at low rates or at an auto dealer who has low rates. (Today’s rate is around 3-5%)

• Never borrow on store cards or credit cards (Macy’s rate is 24.5% annually) (Most credit card rates are between 18% and 24%) If you have credit card debt, get out of it as soon as you can.

• Never borrow from payday loan or check cashing stores (Rates are as high as 200% per year)

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Some Facts about Debt & Credit Cards

• Average household has 13 credit cards• 65% of card holders do not pay off total balance each month• Americans carry, on average, $5,800 in credit card debt from month

to month. If one were to make only the minimum payment on that debt every month, it would take 30 years to pay off—and include an additional $15,000 in interest.

• On average, the typical credit card purchase is 112% higher than if using cash

• Over 40% of US families spend more than they earn. (Federal Reserve)

• 96% of all Americans will retire financially dependent on the government, family or charity. (US Dept. of Health & Human Services)

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Debt Statistics--2012

• U.S. household consumer debt profile:– Average credit card debt: $15,266– Average mortgage debt: $149,667– Average student loan debt: $32,559

• In total, American consumers owe:– $11.31 trillion in debt – $850.9 billion in credit card debt– $7.98 trillion in mortgages– $986.8 billion in student loans – An increase of 11.2% from last year

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Benefits of a Credit Card

• Helps you get a credit history if used responsibly; can ruin credit rating if used irresponsibly

• More convenient (and safer) than cash• Having one card is fine; having more is

probably unwise unless they are for a specific purpose.

• Can’t rent a car without a credit card

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Student Credit Card DebtON AVERAGE:

• College students have 3 credit cards• 78% of all students have at least one credit card• 32% of students had four or more cards• Students double their credit card debt and triple the number

of cards in their wallets between the time they arrive on campus and graduation.

• By the time college students reach their senior year, 31% carry a balance of $3,000 to $7,000

• College freshmen are offered an average of eight credit cards in their first semester

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Credit Cards I have

• A general credit card (Cabella’s) that I use for most expenditures—allows me to shop free at Cabela’s (my favorite store) but I pay off the balance every month (No interest.)

• An emergency bank card in case I need to get cash out of the ATM. (Never use this one.)

• A Sinclair card for Holiday (You get 10 cents off per gallon but this balance is paid in full every month)

• A travel card that I put my trips on—get free miles

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What Debt is Acceptable?

• Acceptable Debt– Home Loan– Education (student)

loans (Be frugal, though)

– Car loan (first car) (Minimum transportation loan)

– Business startup debt (maybe)

• Unacceptable Debt– Honeymoon on credit– Subsequent car purchases– Credit card use at Costco

or Walmart (when you don’t have the money to pay them off immediately)

– Consumer (credit card, paycheck advance) debt

– Vacation debt– Almost all other debt

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Self-Test: Do I Have Too Much Debt?

• Do I pay off my credit card balance completely each month?

• Do I skip some bills to pay others?• If I lost my job today, do I have enough in ”liquid assets” –

i.e. CASH – to pay living expenses for at least two months?• Do I receive calls from creditors about overdue bills?• Have I postponed medical or dental appointments

because I can’t afford them right now?• Am I using an increasing percentage of my monthly

income to pay off debts?

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Rules for Debt• Don’t borrow anything you don’t need• Regularly check your Credit rating

– The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) requires each of the three nationwide consumer reporting companies — Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion — to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months.

• Q: How do I order my free report? The three nationwide consumer reporting companies have set up a central website, a toll-free telephone number, and a mailing address through which you can order your free annual report.

• To order, visit annualcreditreport.com, call 1-877-322-8228. Or complete the Annual Credit Report Request Form and mail it to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281.

• Another new, free sources is creditkarma.com. You can get your credit report and FICO score free anytime. Today, you have to have a FICO score of at least 680 to get a home mortgage

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Net Worth

Your Net Worth

Assets

Other Debt

Credit Card Debt

What you own! What you are worth!

What you owe!

Stereo

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Life Cycle Money Management

-100

0

100

200

300

400

500

600

700

20 25 30 40 50 60 65 70 80 Age

(000’s)

Borrowing

Save 10%

Save 20%Retirement

To heirs

Don’t let this get out of hand or you’llnever build up the balance you need later.

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Counsel on Debt

• J. Reuben Clark– It is a rule of our financial and economic life in all the world that

interest is to be paid on borrowed money. May I say something about interest? Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation; it never visits or travels; it takes no pleasure; it is never laid off work nor discharged from employment; it never works on reduced hours; . . . Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders, and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.

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Dangers of Credit Cards

• Debt problems can lead to depression, which affects study habits, academic performance and overall health.

• In many cases, the stress associated with credit card and other debt has been a factor in suicides.

• People stressed about debt (particularly credit card debt) are more prone to heart attacks, insomnia and explosive emotions.

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Dangers of Credit Cards

• Credit card companies are running a business. They make money off you and more if you aren’t punctual in your payments. It is no coincidence that the largest and tallest buildings in most cities are banks and other financial institutions—the issuers of credit cards. They want you to max out your debt.

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Reducing Unproductive Debt

• Plastic surgery • Reduce spending• Use assets to pay off debt• Reduce interest rate

– Use another lower cost source of borrowing• Make a plan -- stick to it• Talk to a credit counselor if needed

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Insurance• Fifty-three percent of all people in the United States were covered by

some type of life insurance in 2010, according to LIMRA’s 2011 Life Insurance Ownership Study.

• Only one-third of Americans are covered by individual life insurance, the lowest level in 50 years.

• 56 percent of all workers had group life insurance coverage through their employers in 2010, up from 48 percent in 2004.

• Insured individuals owned an average of $154,000 in life insurance coverage in 2010, compared with an average amount of $102,300 for people covered by group policies.

• The average amount of individual life insurance people carry decreased by $12,000 in 2010, compared with a $6,000 decline in group coverage.

• 48.6 million people, or 15.7 percent of the population, had no health insurance last year, down 1.4 million from 50 million in 2010.

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Types of Life Insurance

Term Life insurance1. Insurance (death benefit) only2. Less expensive premiums3. Expensive when older4. Can buy as part of a group

Whole Life Insurance1. Insurance + Savings2. More expensive premiums3. Forced savings plan4. Not great returns

There are many other types (universal,variable, etc.)

If you are a disciplined saver, you can do better by buying term and doing your own saving and investing. If you aren’t a disciplined saver, then whole life may be for you.

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Term Life Costs

The good news isthat you need mostof your insurance when you have children and amortgage and thatis when you are young and it is theleast expensive.

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Insurance Conclusion

• You absolutely need health insurance• You absolutely need auto insurance—mostly for liability

reasons• You absolutely need homeowners insurance—your home

is probably your biggest asset and you should protect it• You should have life insurance—term insurance is the

least cost option if you are a good saver yourself.• Disability insurance is also good and quite inexpensive.• There are other types of insurance (nursing home

insurance, liability insurance, etc.)

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What are your financial fires?

Not budgetingeffectively

No savings program

Too much debtand undisciplinedspending

Under-insuredYou must put these fires out before they consume and ruin you.

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Identity Theft—A Huge Problem

• Identity theft occurs when someone uses your personal information such as your name, Social Security number, credit card number, or other identifying information without your permission to commit fraud or other crimes.

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Identity Theft Hits Celebrities• “Sophisticated” online thieves have stolen information from first lady

Michelle Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, the FBI director and the Los Angeles police chief as well as several celebrities, including Beyonce, Ashton Kutcher, and Jay Z.

• A website — which has an “.su” domain name, representing the old Soviet Union — posted what appears to be their credit reports and other information on the Internet.• Among other victims are former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck. Other celebrities targeted include Mel Gibson, Kim Kardashian, and Paris Hilton.

March, 2013

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Identify Theft Prevention Tips

• Keep your Social Security number in a secure place. Never carry it around with you.

• Give out your Social Security number only when necessary.

• Don’t answer e-mail requests for your personal financial information.

• Make sure no one is eavesdropping when you're reading a credit-card number over the telephone.

..

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Check your credit report regularly

• Check your credit report regularly. Get a copy of your credit report every year from each of the major credit bureaus (TransUnion, equifax, experian) to make sure the records are accurate. Also closely review all monthly bank and billing statements for discrepancies. .

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Prevention Tips• Travel light—avoid carrying around credit card or

personal documents unless you really need them.• Keep personal data under wraps—Don’t share

personal ID numbers or passwords with anyone. Don’t provide information over the phone or hand over personal data unless you know why it is needed. Keep a list of all account numbers in a secure place so that you have quick access if cards or documents get stolen or lost.

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Prevention Tips

• Call 1-888-5optout and ask to stop credit card companies from sending pre-approved credit card applications to your house ─ they are ticking identity theft time bombs.

• Don’t cooperate with companies that ask for personal information, such as your phone number, at a checkout line ─ the harder we make it on companies, the less they will be inclined to continue the practice.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5808889/

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ID Theft Prevention Activities• Don’t set garbage out early• Deposit mail at a secured mail box.• Retrieve incoming mail promptly. • Shred documents before discarding. Tear up or

shred all credit-card receipts and all new-card offers that arrive in the mail. Also destroy all documents that contain account numbers or other personal financial information.

• Cancel paper statements and check statements online.

• Use anti-virus, anti-spyware or firewall software..

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Prevention Tips• It's impossible to tell what's real and what's fake online ─ just

delete any e-mail that asks for personal information • Just hang up on telemarketers, particularly ones who seem to be

fishing for personal information, like your birthday. • Limit the number of credit cards you hold, and religiously inspect

your financial statements each month ─ consumer rights fade quickly over time; the sooner you discover an identity theft incident, the better.

• Preventing an ID theft incident from occurring is difficult because often the company that leaked the data is to blame. Be prepared, and be organized. Save paper bank records for a year at least to document your balance.

.

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Prevention of Phishing Scams• Never provide personal information in response to an unsolicited

request ─ if you did not initiate the communication, do not provide personal information

• Contact the financial institution yourself ─ you should be the one to initiate the communication, using contact information that you have verified yourself

• Never provide your password over the phone or internet to an unsolicited contact

• Review account statements regularly to ensure that all charges are correct

• Remember, no legitimate institution will ask for personal information over the internet

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Immediate Steps for ID Fraud Victim

• Place a fraud alert on your credit reports, and review your credit reports – Equifax: 1-800-525-6285; www.equifax.com; P.O. Box 740241,

Atlanta, GA 30374- 0241– Experian: 1-888-EXPERIAN (397-3742); www.experian.com; P.O.

Box 9532, Allen, TX 75013– TransUnion: 1-800-680-7289; www.transunion.com; Fraud

Victim Assistance Division, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton, CA 92834-6790

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Immediate Steps for ID Fraud Victim

• Close the accounts that you know, or believe, have been tampered with or opened fraudulently

• File a report with your local police or the police in the community where the identity theft took place

• File a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission

• Track with detail ─ “Chart Your Course of Action”

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“Management of family finances should be mutual between husband and wife in an attitude of openness and trust. Control

of the money by one spouse as a source of power and authority causes inequality in the marriage and is inappropriate.

Conversely, if a marriage partner voluntarily removes himself or herself entirely from family financial management, that is an

abdication of necessary responsibility.”

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Life Lesson—Importance of Reading

W. Steve Albrecht

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Importance of having a reading program

• Every professional should have a reading program– General business reading

• Fortune, Forbes, WSJ, etc.

– Industry or job-specific reading• Accounting, auditing, fraud-related, board related

– Leisure reading– Church reading (e.g. scriptures)

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Importance of having a reading program

• Years ago I read the results of a study conducted at the University of Maryland about what makes people successful professionals. This study looked at both personal attributes and family characteristics. The only thing that was highly correlated with being successful was staying current in business developments through a sustained reading and learning program.

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Importance of having a reading program

• Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of "You Can't Be Serious! Putting Humor to Work," says he knows numerous business leaders who block off time just before bed for reading, going so far as to schedule it as a “non-negotiable item” on their calendar. “This isn’t necessarily reserved just for business reading or inspirational reading. Many successful people find value in being browsers of information from a variety of sources, believing it helps fuel greater creativity and passion in their lives.” For example, while some successful people use this time catch up on news stories from the day, skim tech blogs, or browse Reddit and Twitter, others enjoy reading fiction novels and ancient philosophy just before bed.

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Importance of having a reading program

• Staying informed is a constant struggle for most of us, let alone people with high-profile, high-pressure jobs. There's usually not time to leisurely read a favorite paper over coffee or breakfast. Yet catching up on news is an important part of what's often a very early morning for many of the world's most successful people.

• Warren Buffett starts his days with an assortment of national and local news. The billionaire investor tells CNBC he reads the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, the New York Times, USA Today, the Omaha World-Herald, and the American Banker in the mornings. That's a hefty list to get through.

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Importance of having a reading program

• Reading stimulates your mind and reminds you of things you should do and know in your work

• Reading challenges you to ask questions about your work and environment

• Reading gives you opportunities to interact with others by sharing what you learn– Take notes and share them with your team.– Spark debates with your team. – Back up an idea you have or a decision you want to make.

• Reading allows you to improve yourself and your company• Reading allows you to stay current and elevates your thinking

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Importance of having a reading program

• Benefits of Keeping Up-to-Date--Although keeping up with industry news may seem to be just one more thing to add to your To-Do List, there are several important benefits.– First, you'll make better decisions, and you'll spot threats and opportunities

early on, which can give you a competitive edge. This is especially important if you contribute to shaping your organization's strategy. It's also important if you're involved in sales and marketing, where it helps you identify and take advantage of the sales opportunities that come your way.

– Secondly, keeping up-to-date with your industry is key for building expert power. By developing expertise in your job and your industry, you'll earn the trust and respect of the people around you. From a leadership perspective, this is invaluable!

– Finally, it will alert you to changes that you need to think about. This is the sort of information that would have saved Bob his embarrassment.

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Importance of having a reading program

• Keeping up-to-date, having the right information, and growing in knowledge and awareness are more important than ever. Reading is one of the primary ways to develop professional expertise and leadership ability--and to stay competitive. Many persons are facing the new reality: Job security is an inner factor based on inner competence. Part of that competence has to do with one's ability and skill in continually learning. People who read not only develop more competence in their current abilities but, equally important, develop confidence in their ability to learn and meet the demands of accelerated change. Reading helps people stay up-to-date and broaden their perspectives. Reading also provides enjoyment. But if we do not remember and apply what we read, it has little value. People therefore must read widely and read deliberately for retention and application. To make reading a part of their lives, people must make a commitment to read every day, read material that interests them, visit bookstores and libraries, work at retention and application, discuss with others what they are reading, and test what they read against their own experience.

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My reading program• Board of director, research, newsletters and

magazines• Fraud, research, newsletters and magazines• General business magazines and the WSJ• Fun reading—Louis L Amour, John Grisham

and many others• Daily newspapers, KSL.com, etc.• Church books and scriptures

I spend at least an hour a day reading andhave done for nearly 40 years

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Importance of Having a Sense of Humor

W. Steve Albrecht

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Why you should have a Sense of Humor

• People will enjoy working with you • Humor is a potent stress buster• It is humanizing • It puts others at ease • It helps build trust • It boosts morale• People who use humor tend to be more

approachable• Humor can allow your company to stand out• It can increase productivity• Humor is infectious

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Why you should have a Sense of Humor

• A sense of humor is one of the top attributes sought by employers. “I look for people who like to joke around because it lets us leave our egos at the door,” says one executive. “It builds relationships, provides perspective and facilitates communication. Plus, laughing can help to reduce stress, increase creativity and boost team morale—which we all need in this economy!”

• In fact, according to CareerBuilder.com, 91 percent of executives recently surveyed consider a sense of humor important to career advancement. So if you’re sitting straight-faced for eight hours without cracking a smile, you probably aren’t winning any points for being proper.

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Medical Advantages of Having a Sense of Humor

• Having a sense of humor relaxes the whole body. A good laugh can relax your muscles for up to 45 minutes.

• Having a sense of humor boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.

• Having a sense of humor triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

• Having a sense of humor protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

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Having a Sense of Humor

• If I had no sense of humor I would have long ago committed suicide (Mahatma Ghandi)

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Having a Sense of Humor

• People who have no sense of humor and who can’t laugh at themselves usually struggle to find joy in the things they do and in interacting with others. Having a sense of humor is a great way to “break the ice” and to get along with others. People love to work with and be around people who have a sense of humor. Very few attributes are more important.

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Importance of Communicating Effectively

W. Steve Albrecht

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Effective Communication Skills• Being able to communicate effectively is an essential skill to have

in every aspect of everyday life for both professional and personal reasons. Effective communication is the key element that drives companies and individuals to exceptional heights. A mastery of communication is also the key to having successful personal relationships. Communication is the most fundamental people skill because it encompasses your persona and ability to get along with other colleagues, persuade others to listen to your ideas, and much more. “If you have a gift for the spoken and written word, you will always put your best foot forward. Being articulate is highly prized in today’s workplace, when time is at a premium and technology requires constant communication.”

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Three elements of Communication

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Elements of Effective Communication

• Effective Oral Communication– Make sure you have the attention of the person you wish to communicate with

by establishing and maintaining eye contact.– Try to send clear messages that are congruent in both verbal and nonverbal

dimensions.– Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be direct and honest; don't dance

around the issue or play games.– Ask for feedback to ensure the message you sent was accurately received.– Exhibit enthusiasm for what you are saying.

• Effective Listening– Face the message sender and maintain eye contact.– Nod, smile, or occasionally make affirmative vocalizations or other responses that

tell the sender you're paying attention.– Wait for the person to complete a thought without interrupting to express your

own ideas.– If you're not sure you understand the message, ask questions and seek

clarification.– Paraphrase what you heard so the sender can be sure you got the right idea.

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Effective Writing (Email) Skills• Sharpen Writing (Email) Skills • Email is the most used form of communication when it comes to running a business

or communicating in the world today. Effective written communicators must be able to manage your inbox in an efficient manner and answer emails promptly.

• You must reply to emails in a clear and concise manner. If you are replying to another email or letter, make sure to address the important key points in your reply to avoid unnecessary back and forth.

• If you cannot act on a message or a request right away, send a quick note letting the sender know you will get back to him or her soon. Don't leave anyone hanging.

• If a communication issue cannot be resolved by email, pick up the phone to make sure the message is clear and nothing is left to chance.

• Don’t write anything in an email that you don’t want to exist forever or that you will be embarrassed about.

• Real all emails carefully before sending them. (Lots of lawsuits have been won or lost by what you write.

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Effective Listening Skills• Effective Communication Starts With Listening• Listening is an important skill to master. It's not just hearing the words

that are being said but also understanding and connecting with what the person is saying. When conducting meetings, you must create an environment in which everyone feels safe to freely express their ideas and opinions whether they agree or disagree with you. Make it a forum where each person can resolve issues in a creative way. Do not interrupt other when they are speaking. When others are airing their ideas and you don't agree with what is being said, instead of thinking about your response, really listen to what is being said. Focus fully on who is speaking. In this age where it is so easy to be looking down at our smartphones or checking emails during online meetings, we tend to miss out on important details of what is being said.

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Communicating on Social Networking Sites

• Be careful what you write on Facebook, Instagram, etc. It will live forever. Companies have dedicated people who do not but search social networks when hiring, doing business with others, etc. Social media is one of the real hot topics in corporate America.

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Social Networking Nightmare• MIAMI (AP) — A Florida teenager's Facebook post has cost her

father an $80,000 legal settlement.• The Miami Herald reports that father had sued Miami's Gulliver

Preparatory School for age discrimination after he lost his job as headmaster. The school agreed to settle the case with Patrick Snay for $80,000. The agreement included a stipulation that Snay and his wife not disclose settlement details with anyone. The Snays' daughter, a recent graduate of the school, posted to her 1,200 Facebook friends that the money would pay for a family vacation to Europe. "Mama and Papa Snay won the case the case against Gulliver," she wrote. "Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer.“ A judge invalidated the settlement last week and said the post violated the confidentiality agreement.

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Elements of Communication

• Did I say what I intended to say or meant to say?

• Did I convey and express exactly what I wanted to?

• Did people hear what I said? Was it received appropriately?

• Did people interpret correctly what I said?

Intention Expression Reception Interpretation