letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
-
Upload
fatima-asad -
Category
Documents
-
view
221 -
download
0
Transcript of letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
1/41
Click to edit Master subtitle style
4/14/12
LET US BUILD
STRONG FAMILIES
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
2/41
4/14/12
Allah (SWT) commands us
O ye who believe! save yourselves and
your families from a Fire whose fuel isMen and Stones over which are(appointed) angels stern (and) severewho flinch not (from executing) theCommands they receive from Allah butdo (precisely) what they are
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
3/41
4/14/12
Family is a test and trial
Your riches and your children may bebut a trial: but in the Presence ofAllah is the highest RewardTaghabun, 64:15.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
4/41
4/14/12
Strong Family System
Family is the foundation of a strongsociety. It requires:
Proper division of responsibilities &loving relations between husbandand wife.
Proper upbringing of children. Provide the environment under which
human values and morals develop
and grow in the new generation
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
5/41
4/14/12
Disintegrating familysystem
Free sexual relationship
Illegitimate children become the
basis of a society Relationship between man and
woman is based on lust, passion
and impulse. Division of work is not based on
family responsibility and natural
gifts.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
6/41
4/14/12
Home is a place of peaceand tranquility
And Allah has made for you in yourhomes an abode.Nahal16:
It has been reported by Ibn Abi Alduniaand others (Sahih al-Jaami) that, WhenAllah loves the people of a household,he introduces kindness among them.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
7/41
4/14/12
ow us m omes arebeing affected by anti
family environment 1) Separation and divorce rates 2) Percentage of families headed by
a single parent 3) Teenagers issues
4) Disagreements, tension and
conflict among married couples 5) Intergenerational conflict
6) Rate of depression, particularly
among wives
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
8/41
4/14/12
Reasons Behind TheseProblems.
Almost everything around us tends tominimize positive family values andprinciples
Couples choose to have an I, meorientation of life, rather than a we,us perspective
Both father and mother are workingoutside of their homes for economicreasons
Care and education of their children
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
9/41
4/14/12
Reasons Behind TheseProblems
Both parents dont understand thattheir familys well being must be amajor priority and that they must
sacrifice to build, protect, andreinforce their family
When spouses forget the rights that
Allah (SWT) has given their matesover them, their love disappears.Instead, anger, disagreements, and
conflict take its place
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
10/41
4/14/12
How to Solve TheseProblems
Sense of hope and the belief that it isnever too late to change
Good intentions and ideas are notenough. We must develop a newmindset based on Islamic principlesand practices
Marriage requires collaboration,commitment and a sense ofresponsibility
Develo a dee er knowled e of the
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
11/41
4/14/12
How to solve theseproblems
We must set aside a special timeeach week for our family members toenjoy one another, communicate,
plan, and study Our tempers can get us into big
problems.
Patience and forgiveness are the bestgifts that we can use to correctmistakes
We can have rich famil relationshi s
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
12/41
4/14/12
How to solve theseproblems
Need to encourage each other intheir obedience to Allah
Raise their kids according to Islamicvalues
Children get much of their sense of
security and tranquility from the waytheir fathers and mothers treat eachother; hence, the greatest thing wecan give to them is through our
loving and being kind to one another
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
13/41
4/14/12
Steps towards a strongMuslim family
1-Choosing the Right Partner
For the Man
The whole world is a place ofenjoyment and the bestenjoyment is a righteous wife.
Muslim no. 1468 and An-Nisaee fromIbn Amr
A righteous wife who will help youin religious and worldly affairs isbetter than all the treasures the
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
14/41
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
15/41
4/14/12
Choosing a wife
A woman is married for fourreasons; her wealth, her family,her beauty and her faith. So,
marry the one who is religiousand you will prosper. Saheeh al-Bukharee vol.9 no. 132.
Marry women who are lovingand prolific in giving birth, as Ishall outnumber the other
Prophet's (nation) through you.-
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
16/41
4/14/12
Choosing a husband
If somebody comes to you andyou are pleased with hischaracter and religion then
marry him. If you do not, therewill be discord on earth andwidespread corruption. Ibn
Majah 1967.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
17/41
4/14/12
2- Live with kindness & love
The best of you is the one whois best to his wives, and I am thebest of you towards them
[Authentic At-Tahawee] Let no male believer ever hate a
female believer. Though he may
dislike one of her attribute, hewill be pleased with another[Saheeh Muslim]
The believer with most
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
18/41
4/14/12
3-Obligation on Womanto Obey Her Husband
If a woman prays the fiveprayer, guards her private parts(from anything illegal), and
obeys her husband, she willenter Paradise from any door shewishes. [Authentic - at-Tabaree
It is not allowed for a woman tofast in the presence of herhusband except with his
permission, except in Ramadaan,-
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
19/41
4/14/12
4-Spouses to fulfill theirrespective duties
And they (women) have rights(over their husbands as regardsliving expenses, etc.) similar (to
those of their husbands) overthem (as regards obedience andrespect, etc.) to what is
reasonable, but men have adegree (of responsibility) overthem. And Allah is All-Mighty andAll-Wise. [ Al-Baqarah (2): 228]
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
20/41
4/14/12
into a place ofRemembrance of Allah
(SWT) The example of the home inwhich Allah is remembered andthe home in which Allah is not
remembered, is like comparingthe living and the dead [SaheehMuslim (1/539)]
The voluntary (prayer) in thehome is better then thevoluntary (prayer) with the
people. It is like the (obligatory)
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
21/41
4/14/12
6-Teaching the Family
O you who believe, protectyourselves and your familiesfrom a Fire whose fuel is people
and stone [Soorah at-Tahreem: 6] Ali (radhi allahu anhu) said about this
verse: Teach them (family) and
show them good manners. Spare a time of the day for the family
from busy schedule and establish
regular sittings with the family to
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
22/41
4/14/12
7-Establishing a Libraryin Your Home
Enough resources to benefit thechildren, the elders, both men andwomen, relatives and guests
Locate it in easily accessible place
Books and cassettes of reliablescholars, on the issues of IslamicCreed, Qur'aan and its Sciences,Hadeeth and its Sciences, etiquettesin Islam, seerah of Noble Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-
nv ng e g eous
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
23/41
4/14/12
- nv ng e g eousand the scholars to visit
the HOME A good companion is like musk;even if nothing of it goes to you,its fragrance will reach you. A
bad companion is like a man whohas bellows; if its (black) sootdoes not reach you, its smoke
will reach you. [Abu Dawood(4811)]
rac c ng oo
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
24/41
4/14/12
- rac c ng oomanners and Gentleness
in the HOME If Allah, the Most High and theMost Majestic, intends good forthe people, He puts within them
gentleness." [Musnad Ahmad(6/71)]
"The one who is not merciful, will
not have mercy shown to him."[Saheeh al-Bukharee]
Being playful with one's wife and
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
25/41
4/14/12
10-Discipline among theFamily
Strict time keeping in the House: AStrict timetable in the house shouldbe formed, for example eating
timings, all members of the familyshould eat together, sleepingtimings, wake up early, no late-nights
etc Duties for house chores assigned and
everyone must be held accountable.
Violations of Islamic rules and house
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
26/41
4/14/12
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
27/41
4/14/12
Qualities of StrongFamilies
1-Commitment
Trust
Honesty Dependability
Faithfulness
Sharing
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
28/41
4/14/12
2-Appreciation andaffection
Caring for each other
Friendship
Respect for individuality Playfulness
Humor
os ve
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
29/41
4/14/12
- os vecommunication
Sharing feelings
Giving compliments
Avoiding blame
Being able to compromise
Agreeing to disagree
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
30/41
4/14/12
4-Time together
Quality time in great quantity
Good things take time
Enjoying each others company Simple good times
Sharing fun times
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
31/41
4/14/12
5-Spiritual wellbeing
Hope
Faith
Compassion Shared ethical values
Oneness with humankind
y o cope w
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
32/41
4/14/12
- y o cope wstress and crisis
Adaptability
Seeing crises as challenges andopportunities
Growing through crises together
Openness to change
Resilience
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
33/41
4/14/12
rhythm and pattern &are flexible to change
They have routines, rituals, andtraditions that give direction,meaning, and structure to the daily
flow of life.There are rules or principles that
they live by.
Healthiest families are also open tochange
From both the past and the presentrow new traditions and new rh thm
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
34/41
4/14/12
How to maintain strongfamilies?
1-Have regular dates.
If you are married, make time forregular fun-time with your partner. Astrong marriage can add strength tothe family.
Some families also have regular datenights with their children.
Regardless of your familycircumstance, make time for theim ortant relationshi s in our life.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
35/41
4/14/12
2-Hold regular familymeetings.
. Family meetings help us give properattention to our family.
They provide a forum of discussionfor family issues.
They give opportunity to plan forfamily time.
Family meetings help us to beproactive instead of reactive.
a e a po n o express
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
36/41
4/14/12
- a e a po n o expressyour appreciation more
often. Leave thank-you notes around thehouse.
Incorporate an appreciation ritualinto your family meeting.
Celebrate special achievements offamily members.
Make a list of 101 things for whichyour family can be grateful.
a e a p an or e ec ve y
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
37/41
4/14/12
- a e a p an or e ec ve ydealing with conflict before
you have conflict. Don't wait until the heat is on andtempers are high to decide how tobest resolve a disagreement.
Plan ahead.
When needed, put your plan intoaction.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
38/41
6 K f il j l
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
39/41
4/14/12
6-Keep a family journal orscrap book
Keep a scrap book of significantfamily events and achievements.
Remember the good times whichgive us strength to endure the toughtimes.
e e ra e ecogn ze e
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
40/41
4/14/12
- e e ra e ecogn ze eachievements of family
members. Remember significant anniversarieswith parties or family rituals.
Make time to bask in the joyfulmoments of life.
-
8/2/2019 letusbuild-100626141529-phpapp02
41/41
4/14/12
DUA
Our Lord! grant unto us wives andoffspring who will be the comfort of our
eyes and give us (the grace) to lead therighteous Al Furqan, 25:74