Let’s improve our writing together!. Introduction paragraphs MUST include A hook/general...
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Transcript of Let’s improve our writing together!. Introduction paragraphs MUST include A hook/general...
Introduction paragraphs MUST include
A hook/general introductory line. Transitional sentence connecting your hook to
your textual subject. A sentence introducing your novel and author Your thesis statement
Introduction Reminders
Introductory paragraphs should not include
first or second person. Introductory paragraphs need to be MORE
THAN THREE SENTENCES
Continued…
Thesis: In the novel 1984 George Orwell implies that people are not truly
alive if they are not free individuals. Introductory sentence/Thematic opening sentence: Today it seems every
popular comic book movie features a villain who is bent on world domination.
Complete paragraph: People often express their desire to truly feel alive. Obviously, since they need be breathing to speak, they are already living when they say this. However, people in general see living life as much more than just going through the motions of existence. According to most modern thinking being truly alive means being actively engaged in the pursuit of one’s personal dreams and goals. Conversely, not being able to do such things is tantamount to death. The seminal novel 1984 contains a profound statement on this issue. Further, the novel reveals the tragic consequences of being denied such individual freedom. In his novel 1984 George Orwell implies that people are not truly alive if they are not free individuals.
Example
Topic sentences MUST include
Transitions Connection to thesis Clear focusSample Thesis: Thesis: In the novel 1984 George Orwell implies that people are not truly alive if they are not free individuals. Ex. Although physically alive, it is only after he discovers his journal and begins documenting his personal feelings that the Winston Smith begins to feel truly alive.
Topic Sentences
Make sure that you do not use a pronoun
without an antecedent when discussing a main character. Correct Ex. Upon finding a journal and
documenting his feelings, Winston begins to understand what it truly means to feel alive.
Warnings On Topic Sentences
Do not just include PLOT SUMMARY
AVOID THE FOLLOWING: First, in the novel 1984 Winston Smith finds a journal and starts documenting his personal feelings.
Warning 2
Remember it is always important to maintain
clarity when writing a sentence. Though it is great to always strive for the
highest academic style, always make sure that you never sacrifice clarity in the process.
Awkward Sentences
In the story mainly the first paragraph is the
same, and does not differ until the second when they talk about victory and the other defeat.
Problem: Needs to be more concise. Incorrect use of comma.
Fixed sentence: While both stories explore victorious moments, one story also explores the sorrows of defeat.
Examples of Awk. Sentences
Awkward Sentence: Unlike each poem’s
similarities, they also have many great aspects in differences towards each one.
Problems: Clarity and clunky wording. Consider if the adjective “great” is truly necessary.
Sample Revision: Though the poems bear striking similarities, they are ultimately very different.
Sample Revision 2: Though aspects of each poem are similar, the poems are actually quite different.
Continued
Example: One difference is the perspective of
which the narrator. Problem: “of which” and clarity Revision: One difference is that the poems
feature different perspectives.
Continued…
Awkward Example: “In Flanders Field” is a
battlefield. Problem: Incorrect phrasing that lacks clarity. Correction: The poem “In Flanders Field” is
about a battlefield.
Continued
Example: Like if the parents are evil and they spoil
the kid, the kid will be a brat and evil like their parents.
Problem: Awkward, wordy sentence structure Revised: For instance, if parents set a poor
example for their children, or even spoil them, they can end up teaching their children to behave poorly.
Revised 2: For example, if parents are cruel or unkind, they could teach their children such traits.
Continued…
Awkward Sentence: For example, the book
displays the theme that people who behave in wrong actions can harm society in which they will make worse.
Problem: Wordy, awkward, lacks clarity, needs to give credit to the author not the novel
Revision: For example, the author explores how people’s bad behavior can harm society.
Revision 2: For example, the novel features examples of how people’s bad behavior can cause harm to society.
Independent Practice
The setting is set with a community of people who are
restricted with handicaps and shows how people are blinded by the government
Throughout the years, individualism not only separates one from another, but also helps people create new things
Many people in modern society are so influenced in being like a famous person, and most of the times they do not even get there.
Once, long ago, society did compete with one another trying to progress and be better than one another.
Continued
Please make sure you always proofread your
paper for errors. Utilize spell check. The following are errors that must be STOPPED
IMMEDIATELY
Grammar Reminders
Only capitalize proper nouns and the first letter
in the first word of each sentences. These errors are simply not permissible in 10 CP. Example of this error: In The movie Bend It Like
Beckham the main character jess goes through A lot of Problems.
Correct version: In the movie Bend It Like Beckham the main character Jess goes through a lot of problems.
NO MORE RANDOM CAPITALIZATION
Capitalization Errors
Which of the following words would you capitalize
NO MATTER WHERE they fall in a sentence? Dog, cat, the, this, you, i, at, jeff, barry, the lord of
the flies Revise the following sentence: I went to THE
movies with my best friend gary, But when We got there the Movie was already Sold Out.
Corrected Version: I went to the movies with my best friend Gary, but when we got there the movie was already sold out.
Independent Practice
Unless I tell you specifically you may not use
first or second person in your papers. Avoid the following examples: We, you, I, us,
we, our, etc. Rewrite the sentences as statements rather
than personal statements.
First and Second Person
In his novel, the author really shows you how
important it is to save your money. Corrected Version: In his novel, the authors
show how important it is to save money.
Continued
Do not include contractions. Write out the whole word. For example: Do not instead of don’t; you are
instead of you’re; have not instead of haven’t.
Contractions
Every sentence must have a complete subject
and predicate. For example: Every time we go to the movies. Revised: Every time we go to the movies I
have fun. Fragment: On the way to the balloon factory. Revised: On the way to the balloon factory, we
got a flat tire.
Fragments
You can’t combine two complete two complete
sentences with a comma. Barry went home, he felt sick. Revised: Barry went home because he felt
sick.
Run on’s