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Lessons From The LabyrinthWritten on June 29, 2008 by Lynne in Articles

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Its a brisk and sunny morning. Not wanting to go back inside immediately after our usual walk to the bluff, I decide instead to walk the labyrinth in honor of the New

Year. As I stand at the entrance of the large stone mandala inscribed on our lawn, I

decide to let this mornings walk into center represent my spiritual path to

enlightenment, with each of the four quadrants serving to represent the four aspects

of my own psyche: the physical world of form, the emotional experience, the mind,

and the Spirit. I say a prayer of intention before entering and then start moving

slowly inward, following the twists and turns back and forth as I wind my way deeper

inward. Both the physical and the emotional sectors of the labyrinth are covered with

shady patches of still frozen dew the droplets sparkle like diamonds lying exposed

on the frosty grass. I keep moving. Within moments, while still in the first, or

physical, quadrant, I come right up next to the centermost line and walk along side it

for just a few steps before the path turns abruptly away again. It always takes me a

little by surprise to find myself so close to the center this soon after entering the

labyrinth. This mornings close encounter with center reminds me of the many

times in life when Ive erred in thinking, Oh, Ive got it! Well, at least almost.

The labyrinth is truly an inspired design. My respect for it has grown immensely the

more Ive used it as a tool for clearing, prayer and going inward. The way the path

takes me right to center line in each of the four quadrants, only to lead me away

again. Until, finally, I arrive, effortlessly and unfailingly, home to the center, which,

today Ive designated as representing that in me which is Awakened

Consciousness.

New insights arise every time I walk the labyrinth. Among this mornings realizations

came this one: Understanding the physical laws of manifestation may bring me close

to Source, but will not get me there. No matter how much I practice the Hermetic

principles no matter how successful I am at manifesting the form of life I desire

no matter what miracles of health or material success are performed these things

will not bring me enlightenment. I keep walking, allowing this thought to take me

deeper towards my innermost center, while outwardly, I continue to follow the twists

and turns of the serpentine maze.

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I have spent my life trying to become enlightened to no avail. Slowly it dawns in

my consciousness that it is the effort itself that holds me back from that which I

desire. Making this known brings me to the necessity for surrender. I must let go of

a whole other level of doing. The trying so hard has become just another obstaclestanding between my Self and the One Truth.

I have had experiences with Source some truly awesome. It might even be said

that I have been a collector of experiences with Source. But though these have

been wonderful moments they are not to be confused with The Awakening. As a

matter of fact, Im seeing that such phenomena can be deceptive actually leading

me away from that for which I long. Rather than serving, they can end up replacing

my Awakening. These special events may, if Im not very careful, distract me from

knowing the Oneness by quickly becoming just one more story in the growing identity

of a separate self. Anything that adds story takes me away from the realization that I

am that I AM. I Am That I Am is The Awakening. I can see that as glamorous as I,

and others may think it is to have spiritual encounters these can be a dangerous

detour on the path the danger being that the Lynne story may settle for the

miraculous experience in lieu of the REAL THING.

The best that these mountain top experiences can offer is in service as a

beneficial pointer, and no more than that to the Authentic Experience. They can

serve as, perhaps adequate, metaphors or similes they can speak, albeit

somewhat awkwardly, of the repercussions which occur upon Awakening no more

than that. How quickly ego manages to turn these Highs into the sort of high that

numbs, waylays and distracts me from the Truth then its the Lynne-story that

gets fed nothing Real.

The second quadrant of the Labyrinth is deep in shadow How appropriate for the

emotional being this morning, think I. The dew sparkles and glitters in the splotchylight and reminds me of how easy it is to get distracted by the emotional glamours in

life that feel good sort of inner state, for instance, that comes when the story-

named-Lynne gets attached to some notion of being highly spiritual. There may be

real connection with Source thats not the problem, its the story that I create

around the connection that forestalls Awakening. I have been guilty of using such

emotional highs as evidence that something momentous is happening to Lynne

which then keeps me from the Momentous.

At times I am very close to giving up but, then something intervenes and I just

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cant. Not quite no, not yet. I wish I could that is my current biggest longing

to be able to surrender to the point of complete annihilation of all the remaining

lynne-story. I think this must be the kind of essential dying of which yogis speak

that of giving up of letting go of this whole package labeled lynne that Im bundledup inside of as if that small form could possibly contain the Immensity of what I

AM. I want, to want to die to that story including the part of it that tries so hard to

make me Awaken. But the lynne-story is tenacious and grows increasingly so

when I practice believing-in-her as something real. She likes it when I buy into her

claims that she can take me Home just keep trying, she whispers, and I do.

I see this clearly on this bright and clear morning in the labyrinth Ive tried and

tried to get there and Im tired!, I proclaim to the sky. And looking up brings me

home to this moment and a smile comes. For a moment or a few, I am resting in the

arms of Now and there is no problem.

Then the Lynne-self pipes up, NO SURRENDER! she proclaims, that dying stuff is

SCARY.

Fear there have been times, these past few days especially, when waves of such

intense anxiety have rolled through that I could hardly stand still. Theres that word

anxiety. Recently I read in Michael Browns book, The Presence Process that

that word contains another two words that speak tons any exit. These two words

artfully define the state called anxiety. Anxiety is the tension created from the

overwhelming desire to escape something.

Anything that is Real is threatening to the story it fears extinction and so it

automatically freaks RUN, get out of here! Do something anything NOW!!!

It literally looks for any exit out of this moment it only wants to be where it can be

in charge take me back, it begs to the small world where lynne rules.

Sometimes, I do run somehow I just cant resist the fictitious self, it seems. It then,hustles me off to some important doing in order to promote the lynne charade. Such

is how my thoughts run this morning as I meander through the second quadrant of

the labyrinth. I am coming up out of the small boggy area that occupies most of the

emotional quadrant of this labyrinth a quite appropriate physical representation for

the emotions, Id say, wouldnt you? As I transition into the third quadrant (home of

the mind), the ground rises and the grass is much drier. My thoughts follow the lay of

the land.

The mental does, sometimes, appear to be on higher ground. But still, I can get just

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as lost here, in a sub-culture of mental gyrations as I have in any emotional drama!

As a matter of fact, the story-selfs favorite place to hide is the mind and that

certainly doesnt take me to any kind of higher ground!

Because I notice it here in the layout of the stone pathways where I walk Iautomatically begin to seek an inner parallel. Is there a mental version of higher

ground?

It occurs then that perhaps higher reasoning is the minds version of higher

ground. Logos inspired thought intuition the dispassionate witness these

are all concepts that may well describe the higher purpose of mind. A flashing light

of warning accompanies these thoughts, however Remember ego is very crafty

it can imitate and disguise itself as any one of these in order to meet its own

agenda!

Just like the emotional self likes to turn spiritual experience into a drama into more

story about who lynne is so also does the mind like to create a box for me with

words. Words easily become a digression away from, rather than a progression

towards Awakening. They cannot whether in thought or speech truly express

That Which Cannot Be Thought or Spoken. Any attempt to frame The I Am in words

is futile and ultimate illusion. Words, by virtue of being what they are, are limited,

restricting and hopelessly misleading. They attempt to reduce, for the sake of human

understanding, That Which Cannot Be Understood. Words are efforts to turn

Immensity Beyond Measure into concepts to make Source Energy into a thing that

we can see or handle somehow. Words are things they are forms they cannot

even comprehend, much less define The Awakening.

The intellectual in me delights in the use of exacting, descriptive and colorful words.

Such philosophical diatribe is often referred in esoterics by the term, dead-letter.

This term refers to a phrase or idea that may have originally been inspired conceived, perhaps, in heightened consciousness, but which has lost its aliveness

through repetition. It becomes nothing more than a pretty phrase, often used as a

trophy, or to prove how conscious one is. Such sayings can be mimicked and

memorized to the point of being devoid of any real meaning they become mere

empty husks. Words, phrases, dialogue none of these can take me where I want

to go.

They are simply something that must be gone beyond.

I walk the labyrinth, deliberately placing one foot in front of the other, and find myself

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chanting the heart sutra out loud

gate, gate, paragate parasamgate gate.

gone, gone, gone beyond complete gone beyond gone..

To use words for such surrender as this to dedicate their use, combined with theintensity and passion of ones whole heart, to the intense desire and longing for

Source now that is indeed higher ground!

But I cannot think my way into that State of Consciousness. I have tried! Surely, if

that were possible, there are many who would be sharing the Awakened State with

me right now. This is my thought as I find myself, once again, walking parallel to the

line that separates the mental aspect of the labyrinth from center. Thinking can only

bring me close to the Center line but then it too ends up keeping me separate.

I cannot use the minds clever devices to cross over into Awakening. The thinking

mind is just another, totally frustrating barrier. How can a made-up mental construct,

which is what this Lynne-story is, use a made-up mental apparatus (the mind) to

save me?

Suddenly, here in the middle of the labyrinth, I am totally and completely struck with

the utter futility of words. The awareness leaves me empty speechless and for

the span of a breath or two the mind stops. Here, in this moment, I see the glisteningworld around me without the limitation of words to define that which I see. Gratitude

fills me. And then the words come rolling back in like thunderclouds across a clean,

open sky. From being the Witness, I am now, once again the loquacious

commentator. Words imprison Essence. I yearn to realize the Immensity That I Am.

And yet, here I am stuck with words in an effort to express that which I cannot

resist saying.

Heres the dilemma within which I find myself that even in seeing clearly the

limitation of words, I cannot seem to drop them. That, even though they are poor

vehicles, they are still the best, and only way that I have, in this world of form, to point

to The Formless. Even though words are a product of the illusion called mind and

therefore can only be illusion as well, I go on verbosely attempting to describe

something Real. How can such meager, finite and limited terms express That which

is Infinite and beyond comprehension? I realize how way out of my league I am

here, in the attempt to say something Real and True while speaking from a self that

is not real.

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Its amazing how clear things can become while walking the sun-blazed paths of a

labyrinth! This is the thought that carries me from the mental into the spiritual

quadrant of the labyrinth. The dew is gone now it has melted away in the full

warmth of a radiant sun that lights the Spiral Path to center. I stand still a moment onthe bright path and soak up the rays of the Suns energy. The phrase, Standing in

the Light of Consciousness comes through my mind, as I pause in silence and

absorb the rays of a fresh morning sun. I love the way Source uses our native

environment and every single thing in it in order to communicate with us! I stand

here in the spiritual quadrant, absorbing rays of sunlight, aware that the sun has

been used for thousands of years as a symbol to represent Source. Source is

shining on me. The suns light permeates my being enters this form and fills my

mind with light. I am of Its Light. I am of Source. I am that I Am. This, I realize is

what the term, enlightenment means. It means Awakening to the realization that I

Am That I Am. It means to understand that it is the Light Within that creates the

whole illusion of a without, for Its own viewing pleasure. It means essentially that

there is no without there is only the Great Within.

I am still waiting to awaken from this dream but I am now, at least, a lucid

dreamer. I know that I am dreaming the illusion of my life as a self-named-Lynne. I

continue walking to the center of the labyrinth feeling like the dream-ego who has

become aware that she is asleep and dreaming but does not know how to wake-up.

Nonetheless, I proceed with faith, knowing that the coming of the Eternal Light of

Awakening is inevitable. Like the spiral path of the labyrinth, I too, in life, may

meander hither and thither, and even sometimes stray away from center. But sooner

or later, this path is bound to lead Home.