Lesson 3:Cohabitation issues  

Story of Gary

A CASE STUDY IN GHOST BUSTING

New and Improved: Loving Without Limits

Angry scowl. Money missing lack of interest in her children.Conflict over insignificant things

I wonder what the scowl means; I need to ask and listen: benefit of the doubt; open mind Wonder how we can work through this together

Curious about reactions; open to knowing and understandingSecure even during anger

Talk; available; listen; share. Affectionate, assertive work thru conflicts. Allow room to build relationship with my childrenOpenness; negotiate parenting

The Fear Ghost: Current Fears and

Reactions

Angry scowl. Money missing - lack of interest in her children.Conflict over insignificant things

Just like my last husband! get prepared for the worst.Guard your heart; assume the worst. Protect the kids

Insecure; fearful; cautiousHurt; defensive; protective

Get quiet and don't share thoughtsAvoid discussion. Jump between kids and husband. Withhold affection

Triggers:

Thoughts

Feelings:

Actions

Cohabitation

1. Fear of getting hurt and finding convenient ways of coupling is creating an environment of COHABITATING before MARRIAGE

2. Belief that a “TRIAL MARRIAGE” will protect us is NOT TRUE

3. COHABITATION before marriage actually increases the likelihood of Relationship Breakup even if the couple goes on to remarry.

4. Dr. Larry Bumpass revealed current U.S. cohabitation rate before marriage is 70%

5. Research shows 9 Factors of cohabiting couples

Cohabitation1. Cohabiting couples are less happy and

more depressed.2. Cohabiters like their independence and

freedom.3. Cohabiters don’t share their money.4. Cohabiting couples cheat more.5. Cohabiters are negative about marriage.6. Couples living together have low

premarital satisfaction.7. Shacking up before marriage is likely to end

in divorce.8. Cohabiters have little faith in God.9. Cohabiting increases the risk of spousal and child abuse!!

Cohabitation

Is cohabitation a true test of a couple's potential marriage quality (i.e., trial marriage)?

Does it help couples avoid a breakup before marriage or divorce after the wedding?

NOT! Yet couples still do it, even to the detriment

of their relationship.

LIVING WITH

SECOND BEST

and then WONDERING WHY IT DIDN'T WORK

OUT FOR THE BEST.

Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios

Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.comCartoons permission by cartoonstock.com

Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group