Leighann Lord's Fresh Off the Synapse!

MARCH 17-21, 2014

Earth was formed by a disc of gas and dust orbiting the newborn sun.

So a poor diet and shotty housekeeping isn't always a bad thing.

Fresh Off the Synapse@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

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Crimea is voting whether or not to secede from the Ukraine.

Staten Island to follow?






The difference between my Mom and Dad?

Before going out my Mom tells me to dress warm. My Dad tells me to beware

of recalcitrant negroes.






Vice President Joe Biden says Russia's annex of Crimea is 'nothing

more than a land grab'. Land grab… Manifest Destiny…

potato, patato.






I’m getting a pedicure in case I need to put my foot up somebody's ass.






A man was arrested in Queens for trying to carjack a Hyundai.

A Hyundai.

We used to dream big and steal big. What happened to us America?






When you hang out with old folks you pick up their ailments and opinions.

My joints ache and I'm mad that stuff costs more than a quarter.






Westboro Baptist Church founder Rev. Fred Phelps Sr. has died.

Where are the buses meeting to go protest at his funeral?






A 16-year-old boy bypassed security and climbed to the spire of 1 World Trade Center. I'm guessing he wasn't

wearing a hoodie.






I live in the hood but I still hold out hope that a woman who names her

child Dante might be a fan of 14th century epic poetry.






Leighann Lord's Fresh Off the Synapse!

Entertainment & Humor

Transcript of Leighann Lord's Fresh Off the Synapse!