Leave
description
Transcript of Leave
Leave
cleaveServ
e
God’s
...enables COuPLES to experience
deep joy.…multiplies a Godly legacy.
design
…makes us more like Christ.
…reflects Jesus’ love for mankind.
for marriage…
What are some of the major threats to a oneness marriage?
oneness:
Main Threats to
1. An unawareness of God’s design for marriage
2. Unfulfilled expectations3. An unintentional marriage.4. Extramarital affairs.5. Poor communication6. An unhealthy handling of conflict 7. Inevitable difficulties
5. Poor Communication
A main threat to Oneness:
Communication is the process of sharingYourself verbally and nonverbally with another person in such a way that both of you understand and accept what you say.
1. There is a lot of room for error.
difficult
Why Communication is so
First, you have something you want to get across to the other person—what you mean. Perhaps you’ve thought about it, or you just formulate it as you open your mouth. But it may not come out the way you intended. So the second message is what you actually say. Now, let’s turn to your spouse. The third message is what your spouse actually hears while filtering and processing the information, which leads to the fourth message—what your spouse thinks he or she hears!
1. There is a lot of room for error.
difficult
Why Communication is so
Uh-oh, now the possibility of misunderstanding increases. If the communication stopped here, it wouldn’t be so complicated. But the fifth message is what your spouse says about what you said. Now it’s back in your lap, because the sixth message is what you think your spouse said about what you said.
2. People communicate in different ways.
difficult
Why Communication is so
“Land the Plane“ Communicators:
Want to Find the shortest path to the goal.
2. People communicate in different ways.
difficult
Why Communication is so
“Enjoy the ride“
Communicators:Think you might as well relax and enjoy the rideThe trip is what it is all
about
2. People communicate in different ways.
difficult
Why Communication is so
Think out loudcommunicators
ask questions and make comments as soon as the thought occurs – even if the other person
happens to be talking at the time.
2. People communicate in different ways.
difficult
Why Communication is so
Let’s take turnscommunicators
Use principles of justice and fair play
to govern communication.
3. We are not intentional about having
difficult
Why Communication is so
intimate conversations with our spouse.
If we are going to experience oneness
in the marriage relationship, we have to be intentional about
carving out regular time in our schedule that allows us to
communicate with our spouse on levels four and five.
4. Our communication skills stink.
difficult
Why Communication is so
We are poor listeners and we often do a lackluster job in expressing ourselves.
How can we become better communicators so that we can experience a greater degree of oneness in our marriage relationship?
By listening and expressing ourselves well.
Listening wellPsalm 116:1-6 (MSG)
I love God because he listened to me, listened
as I begged for mercy. He listened so intently as I laid out my case before
him. Death stared me in the face, hell was hard on my heels. Up against it, I didn’t know which way to
turn; then I called out to God for help:
Listening wellPsalm 116:1-6 (MSG)
“Please, God!” I cried out. “Save my life!” God is gracious—it is he who
makes things right, our most compassionate God. God takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, he
saved me.
Listening wellProverbs 18:13
(MSG)
Answering before listening is
both stupid and rude.
Listening wellProverbs 21:11
(MSG)
Simpletons only learn the hard way, but the
wise learn by listening.
Listening wellJames 1:19 (NLT)
Understand this, my dear brothers and
sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry
Listening wellSome people believe that
successful communication consists of 7% content,
38% tone of voice, And 55% nonverbal communication.
1. Give focused attention.
Listening well2. Listen with acceptance and
understandingA hearer merely hears
A listener learns
Listening well3. Ask clarifying questions &
make summarizing statements.Are you telling me that
___________? Can you tell me more about what you
meant when you said_______? Correct me if I am wrong, but here is what
I hear you saying??
Listening well4. Focus on what is being said,
not the way it is being said.If we decide to focus on the message behind the message,
we have a chance to move towards oneness,
but if we decide to trade blow for blow,
the end results will be more and more
isolation in our marriage relationship.
Listening well5. Allow freedom for
differences in communication styles.
are not wrong just different.Communication styles
Expressing Yourself well5. Allow freedom for
differences in communication stylesProverbs 29:20
(NKJV)Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for
him.
Expressing Yourself well1. Think before you Speak.
Determine exactly what you want to say and when the best time is say it. Is what you want to say
true, kind and necessary?
Expressing Yourself well1. Think before you Speak.
Proverbs 10:19 (NKJV)In the multitude of
words sin is not lacking, but he who
restrains his lips is wise.
Expressing Yourself well2. Ask to make sure you are
being understood.Good expressers
ask the listener to make summarizing statements to
ensure they are being properly understood.
Expressing Yourself well3. Allow for freedom in
differences in communication style
Marriage, we honor our spouse by adjusting to their communication style.
When we express our self in