Learn Better Game Writing In a Day -...

Learn Better Game Writing

In a Day

Evan SkolnickProducer and Editorial DirectorVicarious [email protected]

All characters and works in this presentation are trademarks of and/or copyrighted by their respective owners.

Except where noted, they are used without permission for educational purposes only, under the Fair Use provision of the United States Copyright Act.

Tutorial Overview– What This Tutorial Is About

• Overview of fiction writing as it applies to most game writing situations

• 80% general fiction writing theory– Story structure and plotting– Characters and characterization– Dialogue writing– Editing

• 20% video game application

– Whom This Tutorial Is For• Game designers unfamiliar/uncomfortable with fiction

writing• Game designers with limited writing experience who want

to improve their craft• Aspiring or beginning game writers

Intro

Tutorial Overview– What This Tutorial Is Not About

• A debate on or vision of the future of video game narrative• Advanced fiction writing techniques• A planning session for how to make players actually cry

like they do in the movies

– Whom This Tutorial Is Not For• Professional writers who want to work in the games

industry• Game designers who consider themselves professional-

level writers• Holders of Creative Writing degrees

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Tutorial Overview

Intro

Tutorial Overview• Introductions• Getting Over Yourself! The Game Writer’s Role• General Theories of Story

– Three-Act Structure– Monomyth– Dramatica

• Storytelling Rules and Tools– Exposition– Believability– Impact

• Characters and Characterization– Focus on Hero and Villain– Character Arcs

• Dialogue– Dialogue’s Main Function– Elements of Dialogue

Intro

Getting Over Yourself• You’re not the next Hemingway• Write tight, effective, serviceable story content• Attempting anything beyond that is a distraction

and a disservice• Gameplay is king

– Story should always support it, never supplant it

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Amount of StoryHow much story does your game actually need?

Chart adapted from Andrew Rollings and Ernest Adams on Game Design, Rollings & Adams, 2003

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Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)• How much is enough?Example 1: Grand Theft Auto III

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Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)• How much is enough?Example 1: Grand Theft Auto III

Total required viewing time: 2:55

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Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)• How much is too much?Intro

Getting Over Yourself

Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)Example 2: Grand Theft Auto IVIntro


Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)Example 3: Left 4 DeadIntro


Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)• How much is too much?Example 2: Metal Gear Solid 2

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Amount of StoryOpening Cutscene(s)• How much is too much?Example 2: Metal Gear Solid 2


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Theories of Story

• Three-Act Structure• Aristotle, Syd Field

• Monomyth (Hero’s Journey)• Joseph Campbell, Christopher Vogler

• Dramatica• Theory plus software-based checking tool

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

• First described by Aristotle in Poetics

• Posits that all stories share a common underlying core structure

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

• Beginning• Setup

• Middle• Confrontation

• End• Resolution

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

• Syd Field et al. expansions on Three-Act Structure– Act 1

• Opening Image• Inciting Incident• Turning Point 1

– Act 2a• Pinch 1• Midpoint

– Act 2b• Pinch 2• Turning Point 2

– Act 3• Showdown• Resolution• Tag

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

• Beginning• Setup

• Middle• Confrontation

• End• Resolution

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

• Still applies to nearly all successful fictional stories today

• Universal, and therefore almost overly simplistic

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Theories of Story

Monomyth

• First described by Joseph Campbell in The Hero With a Thousand Faces (1949)

• Partially based on work of psychologist Carl Jung and his concept of archetypes

• Refined and elaborated on by Christopher Vogler in The Writer’s Journey (1992)

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Theories of Story

Monomyth

• Like Three-Act Structure, posits that all successful stories share common structure

• Suggests also that these stories share common character types... archetypes

• Archetypes represent various aspects of human personality, personified

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Each archetype is a character or energy embodied by multiple characters

• Together, they represent a complete human psychological profile

• By meeting and learning from the various archetypical characters, the Hero learns and borrows along the way, becoming a stronger, more complete person

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Hero• Mentor• Threshold Guardian (Henchman)• Herald• Shapeshifter• Shadow (Villain)• Trickster

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Hero– Dramatic Functions

• Audience Identification• Growth

– Usually character who grows or changes most• Action• Sacrifice• Risk

– Gaming Equivalent: Player

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Mentor– Dramatic Functions

• Teaching• Gift-giving• Motivation• Conscience

– Gaming Equivalent: UI or a character

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Threshold Guardian (Henchman)– Dramatic Function

• Testing

– Gaming Equivalent: Generic enemies, Sub-Bosses

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Herald– Dramatic Functions

• Announce the Conflict (or its potential)• Motivation• Offer Hero the Challenge

– Gaming Equivalent: Marketing

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Shapeshifter– Dramatic Functions

• Sow suspicion and doubt

– Gaming Equivalent: Executive Producers

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Shadow (Villain)– Dramatic Functions

• Challenge the Hero

– Gaming Equivalent: Final Boss

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Archetypes

• Trickster– Dramatic Functions

• Comic relief

– Gaming Equivalent: Sidekick (e.g. Daxter)

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World2. Call to Adventure3. Refusal of the Call4. Meeting the Mentor5. Crossing the First Threshold6. Tests, Allies, Enemies7. Approach to the Inmost Cave8. Supreme Ordeal9. Reward10. The Road Back11. Resurrection12. Return with the Elixir

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World– Depiction of the hero’s normal world– Possibly idyllic– More likely unbalanced but livable

– Gaming Equivalent: • Often first few seconds of the opening cutscene

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

2. Call to Adventure– First indication that trouble is brewing– Problem presented to Hero– Hero can no longer stay in comfort of Ordinary World

– Gaming Equivalent: • Often first middle part of the opening cutscene

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

3. Refusal of the Call– Hero initially refuses to confront the problem

– Gaming Equivalent: • Rarely seen in video games, for brevity’s sake

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

4. Meeting with the Mentor– Mentor provides motivation, gifts and encouragement

– Gaming Equivalent: • Superior officers, Narrators or other characters designed

to provide player with briefings and objectives

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

5. Crossing the First Threshold– Hero fully commits to the adventure– Enters the Special World– No turning back

– Gaming Equivalent: • First or early gameplay level

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies– Series of sub-adventures related to the overall conflict– Challenges increase in drama and stakes

– Gaming Equivalent: • Levels!

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave– Danger-filled approach to site of final conflict

– Gaming Equivalent: • Late levels

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

8. The Supreme Ordeal– In the “belly of the beast”– Death faced

– Gaming Equivalent: • Levels and/or cutscenes leading to a “false” final boss

battle

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

9. Reward– Hero survives Supreme Ordeal and “seizes the sword”– Reward received for victory

– Gaming Equivalent: • Cutscene following “false” final boss battle

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

10. The Road Back– Hero tries to return to Ordinary World with the Reward,

but dark forces are in pursuit

– Gaming Equivalent: • Late levels or a cutscene following a “false” final boss

battle

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

11. Resurrection– Hero (or hero’s main goal) seemingly dies but

somehow survives– Transformed by the experience– Gains final victory

– Gaming Equivalent: • Final boss battle

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Monomyth Structure

12. Return with the Elixir– Hero returns to Ordinary World with a boon to benefit

it– Can be a Circular or Open-Ended return– Final rewards and punishments doled out

– Gaming Equivalent: • Final cutscene

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World – Luke’s life on Tatooine as a farmboy2. Call to Adventure – Leia’s message on R2-D23. Refusal of the Call – Luke refuses Ben’s request to accompany him to

Alderaan4. Meeting the Mentor – Luke meets Obi-Wan Kenobi; is given lightsaber5. Crossing the First Threshold – Luke’s foster parents killed; he commits

to fighting the Empire6. Tests, Allies, Enemies – Blasting out of Mos Eisley, getting to know Han

& Chewbacca7. Approach to the Inmost Cave – Sucked into the Death Star8. Supreme Ordeal – Rescue of Princess Leia9. Reward – Escape with Princess Leia and the plans10. The Road Back – Defeating TIE fighters and preparing for assault on

Death Star11. Resurrection – Luke’s X-Wing about to be destroyed by Darth Vader12. Return with the Elixir – Luke returns to hangar; closing honor

ceremonies

Example: Star Wars

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World – Neo squeaking by as a corporate drone2. Call to Adventure – The cell phone call3. Refusal of the Call – Neo chickens out on the ledge4. Meeting the Mentor – Neo meets Morpheus5. Crossing the First Threshold – Neo takes the red pill, is detached from

the Matrix and rescued by the rebels6. Tests, Allies, Enemies – Training with Morpheus, first excursion back

into Matrix, meeting with Oracle, first battle with Agent Smith7. Approach to the Inmost Cave – Invasion against Agents HQ8. Supreme Ordeal – Rescue of Morpheus9. Reward – Escape with Morpheus10. The Road Back – Final battle with Agent Smith11. Resurrection – Neo shot, seems dead, but comes back12. Return with the Elixir – Neo masters his powers and obliterates

enemies; ready to continue fight against the AI

Example: The Matrix

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure1. Ordinary World – A typical day for Pee-Wee2. Call to Adventure – Pee-Wee’s bike is stolen!3. Refusal of the Call – Pee Wee passes out (questionable)4. Meeting the Mentor – Pee-Wee meets with police, Dotty and the Palm Reader5. Crossing the First Threshold – Pee-Wee sets off for Texas6. Tests, Allies, Enemies – Mickey the escaped convict, Large Marge, Simone, Andy,

bucking bronco, biker gang7. Approach to the Inmost Cave – Pee-Wee sneaks onto Paramount Studios lot to get

his bike8. Supreme Ordeal – Pee-Wee poses as actress playing a nun and must stare at his

bike without revealing himself9. Reward – Pee-Wee grabs his bike and pedals for it10. The Road Back – Pee-Wee chased by rent-a-cops on the Paramount lot; he stops

to save animals in burning pet store, passes out from fright and is captured by police

11. Resurrection – Charges are dropped and Pee-Wee’s story is bought by Paramount and turned into a major motion picture

12. Return with the Elixir – Pee-Wee and everyone he met during his journey attend the movie’s world premiere

Example: Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure1. Ordinary World – Young Simba growing up within the pride; father is killed and

uncle takes over; he is exiled but grows up in a new, if unbalanced, Ordinary World (with Timon and Pumbaa)

2. Call to Adventure – Nala runs across Simba while hunting and urges him to return to Pride Rock to depose Scar

3. Refusal of the Call – Simba refuses, mainly due to his erroneous belief he was responsible for his father’s death

4. Meeting the Mentor – Simba is visited by Rafiki and the ghost of Mufasa5. Crossing the First Threshold – Simba sets off for Pride Rock6. Tests, Allies, Enemies – Timon, Pumbaa and Nala join Simba and devise a plan of

attack7. Approach to the Inmost Cave – Simba literally approaches a cave here; Pride Rock8. Supreme Ordeal – Simba verbally confronts Scar9. Reward – Scar seems to acquiesce...10. The Road Back – Scar turns on Simba, hyenas attack; Scar gets Simba hanging

over the abyss11. Resurrection – Simba somehow escapes falling and Scar is killed by hyenas12. Return with the Elixir – Simba emerges as new lion king; produces an heir,

continuing circle of life

Example: The Lion King

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Theories of Story

Monomyth Structure1. Ordinary World – Jules lives his life as an enforcer for Marsellus Wallace2. Call to Adventure – Jules’ life seems miraculously spared during a routine

shakedown3. Refusal of the Call – N/A (Vincent fulfills this role)4. Meeting the Mentor – N/A (Jules’ mentor is his vague knowledge of the Bible)5. Crossing the First Threshold – Jules tells Vincent he plans to change his life6. Tests, Allies, Enemies – Vincent accidentally shoots Marvin in the car; Jimmie and

the Wolf assist in clean-up7. Approach to the Inmost Cave – Jules and Vincent go to diner before returning

briefcase to Marsellus8. Supreme Ordeal – Diner is robbed and Jules refuses to give up the briefcase;

Jules is able to turn tables on robber9. Reward – Jules shows restraint in not killing robber10. The Road Back – Vincent returns and threatens to escalate situation, resulting in

multiple deaths11. Resurrection – Jules talks everyone down and resolves situation non-violently12. Return with the Elixir – Jules leaves the diner as a confirmed practioner of what he

now preaches

Example: Pulp Fiction

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Theories of Story

Monomyth

• The monomyth represents a pattern seen in many, many stories, but...

• Don’t follow it slavishly!

• Use as a general guide only – take from it what you can use

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Theories of Story

Dramatica

• First developed in 1996 by Melanie Anne Phillips and Chris Huntley

• Builds on Three-Act Structure and Monomyth theories

• Comes with software checking tool to aid in writing analysis, billed as “The Ultimate Writing Partner”

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Theories of Story

Dramatica

• Main concept: The Story Mind

– Every complete story is a model of the mind’s problem-solving process

– To fully explore an issue, author has to examine all possible solutions to the problem

– Make an argument to prove to an audience that author’s way is best

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Theories of Story

Dramatica

• Concepts and software best utilized by intermediate to advanced writers

• Can feel restrictive and in some cases, forced

• May have limited application to game story development

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Theories of Story

Story Common Themes

• Beginning, Middle, End– (Setup, Confrontation, Resolution)

• Conflict-driven plot

• Into trouble, back out of trouble

• Main character action, change and growth

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Theories of Story

Storytelling Rules & Tools

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Rules & Tools• Exposition

– Show, don’t tell– Seeding, planting and foreshadowing

• Believability– Removing/masking/downplaying coincidences and

contrivances– Avoiding deus ex machina– Internal world consistency– Character consistency

• Impact– Setting appropriate scope of conflict– The element of surprise

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Show, Don’t Tell• Exposition ≠ Dialogue!• Talk is cheap

– Think of how your voting process works – do you base it on words, or actions?

• Show, don’t tell– The villain is evil? Show him being evil– The hero is brave? Show her being brave– The weapon is dangerous? Show it being dangerous– That lady is forgetful? Show her being forgetful– Etc.

• Whenever telling the audience something, ask yourself if you could be showing it instead

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Seeding• Exposition is something you “seed” throughout the

story• Not all dumped on the audience at the beginning

“A beginning is a very delicate time.”

Frank Herbert, Dune

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Seeding• In games, first cutscene is often the longest• Writer struggles to establish world, characters and

conflict all at once• Common area of overwriting• Generally the viewer needs much less exposition

at the outset than you’d think• Focus on providing only “need to know” info,

especially up front• Providing barely enough information can actually

increase drama and viewer interest

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Seeding

Plot Exposition: • It’s OK to delay• Focus on “Need to Know”

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

• If seeding is like spreading seed evenly to grow a lawn...

• Planting is choosing a spot for a shrub, and placing it right there, for a reason

• It grows slowly and provides its benefit much later in the story

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

Chekhov’s Law

• If Act One opens by mentioning a shotgun hanging over the mantel, that gun must be fired by the end of the story.

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

• If you plant it, it must grow

• In fiction writing, planning ahead is key

• This is why most writers create the opening of their stories last

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

• Planting is establishing something specific that will be important later in the story

– A machine or gadget– Knowledge or expertise– A skill, gift or power– An object or item’s properties

• It is often established in as innocuous a way as possible, so that later on it:

– Does not telegraph what’s to come– Is half-forgotten later and so still surprises the

audience

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

• Memorable movie plants– James Bond’s weapons, vehicles and

gadgets (planted by Q)– RoboCop’s interface spike– Woody’s matchstick in Toy Story– Hannibal Lecter’s paper clip– Bud’s wedding ring in The Abyss

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Rules & Tools

Exposition Planting

• Planting opportunities in games– Show item in cutscene that player later can

find/acquire– Establish character’s ability in gameplay that

affects outcome of a cutscene– Establish enemy’s ability in cutscene that

player must contend with in gameplay

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Exposition Foreshadowing

• Related to planting but wider focus• Hints at what may come ahead• Like planting, can lay the groundwork and

increase believability• Often delivered as warnings, theories,

images, dreams, feelings• Usually delivered subtly as possible to

avoid complete telegraphing• Often only make sense or seem relevant

later

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools


• Memorable movie foreshadowing– RoboCop’s secret fourth directive– Doc Brown’s warnings to Marty McFly about

his actions possibly impacting the future– Incredi-Boy sequence in The Incredibles– Sam Lowry’s dream sequences in Brazil– Rex’s “Have you been replaced?” line in Toy

Story– T-1000 staring oddly at silver mannequin in

shopping mall, in T2

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools


• Foreshadowing usage in games– Dialogue or imagery in cutscene

foreshadows what’s coming next in gameplay, or vice versa

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Rules & Tools Believability

• Suspension of disbelief• Your job: keep the fictional world feeling as

real as possible• Audience expects and wants:

– A world that is fully realized and internally consistent

– Events that don’t test their gullibility– Characters that determine outcome of story– Characters that are consistent

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Believability Coincidences

• Coincidences hurt your story’s credibility and believability

• Many story coincidences are due to the writer trying to solve other problems

– Ex. hero’s love interest is the one who gets kidnapped– Ex. hero must be resurrected in Act 3 and so

someone/something comes out of left field to do so

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools


• Two different types– Seemingly small coincidences or

contrivances that ultimately have huge and necessary story impact (“way-homer”)• Ex. Star Wars (droid blows up)• Ex. Star Wars (Leia and the battle plans)

– Blatant, giant coincidences at which the audience immediately rolls its eyes (deus ex machina)• Ex. Jurassic Park movie version (climax resolution)

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools


• Three tactics to deal with coincidences– Change plot– Retrofit– Mask or downplay

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• Change plot to remove coincidence– Can something different happen here that

flows more organically?– Can the character’s actions, position,

relationships or role help justify/cause situation?

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools


• Retrofit– While retaining the action, can you do what

is necessary to make this no longer a coincidence?• Planting• Foreshadowing• Establishing• Linking

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• Mask or downplay the coincidence– Will people really notice this coincidence at

the time if it is glossed over? – Can you distract audience with something

else during coincidence?– Can you get away with it as is? Is it a “way-

homer”?

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Believability Consistency

• Story and all elements within it must be internally consistent

– World (physics, technology, etc.)– Characters

• Any changes to the established “norm” must be explained or otherwise set up

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Rules & Tools


• World Consistency– Rules of the world are established

• Physics• Technology

– Audience expects realism (where appropriate) and consistency• Ex. Independence Day• Ex. Roger Rabbit and toon physics

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• World Consistency– In games, this is taken a step further– Actions and abilities seen in cutscenes must

be consistent with gameplay• A character in a cutscene with abilities they can’t

exhibit in gameplay will cause player frustration• A character in a cutscene without abilities that do

exist in gameplay will cause player derision

– Gameplay abilities, physics, etc. expected to remain internally consistent

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Rules & Tools


• Character Consistency– Character motivations and actions must

remain consistent within story• Exception: character growth which has been

properly established

– In games, character motivations and actions must also be consistent between:

– Cutscenes– Mission objectives– In-game abilities

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Rules & Tools Impact

• Scope of conflict• Element of surprise

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Rules & Tools

Impact Scope of Conflict

• Scope of conflict– What is at stake?– Too easy to make this overly large

• The USA• All life on Earth• Our galaxy• The entire universe

– Any conflict can feel huge if it means a lot to a sympathetic character• Ex. Fatal Attraction

– Make scope of conflict only as large as it needs to be

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Impact Scope of Conflict

• Good game examples– Grand Theft Auto series (one thug’s criminal

career)– Sly Cooper (family birthright)– Diner Dash (keeping one’s job)– Mr. Mosquito (keeping a mosquito fed)

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Rules & Tools

Impact Surprise

• Best stories regularly surprise audience• Best games regularly surprise players• Avoid a plodding series of missions that

lead to a long-expected showdown– Audiences are well-versed in story– Able to anticipate even more than you’d

expect

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Impact Surprise

• Plot twists– Vital to maintaining interest– Easy to do badly, unless properly set up

(can also feel like deus ex machina)– In a game, poorly set up plot twist can feel

unfair to player– Seed subtle exposition that increases

believability of your twists– Include red herrings to throw clever viewers

off the path

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Characters Overview

• Most important characters– Hero– Villain

• Creating non-generic characters• Character arcs

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Hero starts in a stable if not balanced state• Often:

– Wrong career– Wrong position– Divorced– Single/lonely– In a rut– Trapped– Underachieving– Otherwise incomplete/unfulfilled

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Hero starts in a stable if not balanced state• Often:

– Wrong career – Changes to right career

– Wrong position – Changes to right position

– Divorced – Reunites with ex, or finds someone new

– Single/lonely – Finds true love

– In a rut – Gets out of rut

– Trapped – Breaks free

– Underachieving - Overachieves

– Otherwise incomplete/unfulfilled – Becomes complete and fulfilled

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Hero changes/grows the most– In well-constructed story, this is its most

dramatic aspect– Can be difficult to establish in a game story– Can be almost impossible to accomplish in a

licensed game story

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Theories of Story

Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Stakes of conflict must be intensely personal to Hero

• Not enough to save world – must save someone with emotional bond

• Otherwise audience indifference will result– Superman 1 and 2– Spider-Man 1 and 2

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Characters

Characters Hero

• What drives the hero to overcome the conflict?

• How badly do they want it? And why?– Ex. Fatal Attraction (Oscar-nominated

screenplay)• Dan Gallagher driven by happiness in his marriage

and love for his young daughter• That’s all that’s at stake through most of the story• Love for his wife and daughter emphasized again

and again to reinforce his personal stakes

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Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Being the Hero must include:– Risk– Sacrifice– Reward

• In stories, these can be physical oremotional elements

• In games, they are most likely physical

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Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Hero

• Hero must be active driver of the story– Decision– Action

• Hero must not be forced or “have no choice”

• Hero must actively and directly resolve conflict

– No deus ex machina

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Characters Villain

• Villain is the source of the main conflict• Must be more than a match for Hero

– Viable threat– Shown, not told

• Cannot be approached without getting past henchmen

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Characters

Characters Villain

• Doesn’t consider himself a Villain– Thinks he’s right– Is the Hero in his version of the story

• Has clear, believable motivation– Can be understood/appreciated by audience

at some level– No black and white; shades of gray– Answer to “why’s he doing that?” cannot be

“because he’s evil”.

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Characters

Characters Villain

• May or may not grow/change• Must be directly confronted by Hero

– Otherwise resolution is unsatisfying– Memorable exception: Star Trek II

• Kirk and Khan never physically meet

– Final boss battle!• In non-adventure stories, villain may be:

– Boss, supervisor or work rival– Hero’s own destructive personality– Nature/The World

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Rules & Tools

Characters

Characters Arcs

• Character arc– Each significant character has his own arc,

with:• Its own conflict• Its own three-act structure (beginning, middle, end)

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• Simpler than overall story structure• Should be expressed in three-act terms:

– Setup– Confrontation– Resolution

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• Movie Example: Star Trek II

• Kirk (Hero)1. Feels old2. Gets back in action, defeats Khan3. Feels young

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• Spock (Mentor/Hero)1. Tasked with training next generation on his

ship2. Sees ship is going to be destroyed3. Sacrifices himself to save them

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• McCoy (Mentor/Trickster)1. Friend (Kirk) feels old2. Tries to advise/help3. Friend feels young

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• Saavik (N/A)1. Inexperienced, prickly and overly literal2. Learns from Kirk and Spock3. Becomes more seasoned, balanced and

flexible

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• Khan (Villain)1. Thirsts for revenge2. Attacks Kirk3. Dies but kills Kirk’s best friend

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• Joachim (Henchman)1. Sees Khan’s need for revenge is reckless2. Advises Khan to restrain himself3. Fails to convince Khan and dies

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• Terrell (Shapeshifter)1. Captured/brainwashed by Khan2. Fights the influence3. Overcomes influence and commits suicide

before murdering Kirk

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• Chekov (Shapeshifter)1. Captured/brainwashed by Khan2. Fights the influence3. Overcomes influence and returns to duty

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• Carol Marcus (Herald)1. Creates Genesis, hides David from

knowledge that Kirk is his father2. Genesis stolen, Kirk and David meet and

do not mix well3. Genesis proven successful, Kirk and David

reconcile

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• David Marcus (N/A)1. Hates Starfleet (including Kirk)2. Meets Kirk, does not get along with him,

discovers Kirk is his father3. Grows to understand Kirk and be proud to

be his son

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Dialogue

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Dialogue

Dialogue’s Main Function

Exposition• Plot• Character• Emotion

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Exposition Plot• Dialogue is a tool the writer can use to provide

plot exposition, but...• Always better to show than tell• It’s possible to convey a complete story with no

dialogue at all

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Exposition Plot• If art/animation is already providing adequate plot

information, don’t duplicate that effort• Instead, use dialogue to support the ancillary functions:

– Character– Emotion– Humor

• However, when necessary, you’ll need to convey plot exposition via dialogue– Don’t explain what is obvious or irrelevant– Try to subtly weave exposition into your dialogue

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Exposition Character

• What your characters do can drive plot and character exposition

• What your characters say often drives plot exposition

• How your characters say it drives character exposition

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Character Voice• Each important character must have a unique

voice

Affected by:• Intelligence• Vocabulary• Ethnicity/Accent• Economic Background• General attitude toward life• Specific attitude toward the recipient

– Can change depending on:• Current situation• Current emotional state• Current goals• A change due to character growth or new information

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Character Voice• In all cases, characters’ voices should

differentiate them from each other

• A line that could be spoken by any character could probably be improved

• (Or your characters may just be too bland)

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Character VoiceFinding each character’s voice• Licensed characters: research

– Find out everything you can about the character– Read the prior dialogue

• Transcribe if necessary• Note sentence structure, dialect, etc.

– Write, then read out loud (or “out loud in head”)• Check for authenticity vs. established character voice

• Original characters: over-develop– Create detailed background upon which to draw

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Character Voice• Some things to know about your original characters

– Where was I born?– How old am I?– Where did I grow up?– What’s my educational background?– Do I have an accent?– Do I have a speech impediment?– Do I have any pet phrases?– What do I do for a living?– What are my hobbies?– What do I love?– What do I hate?– Am I personality type A, B, or C?– Am I married? Have I ever been?– How do I feel about the other characters in this story?– Who is my best friend and why?– Who is my worst enemy and why?– What makes me special and unique?

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Exposition Emotion• Emotion mainly conveyed through character

action– Again, show don’t tell

• Dialogue usually reinforces emotional states• Emotion increases stakes and adds weight to

gameplay situations– Resolution of conflicts must personally matter to the

playable characters to add weight– Direct investment in the outcome of the overall conflict– Pepper sub-conflicts which tie into main conflict

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Exposition EmotionA simple turn of phrase can move the characters’ emotional state all over the place

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Exposition Emotion

APARTMENT, DAY. JANET, a 35-year-old woman, slumps in her chair at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. She glances at the CLOCK on the wall, then takes another drag, looking unhappy.

The front door opens and BRAD enters carrying a brown paper bag.

JANET looks up.

JANETI’m not happy, Brad. You’re late.

A simple turn of phrase can move the characters’ emotional state all over the place

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Exposition Emotion



JANET looks up.

JANICEWhere the hell have you been?

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JANET looks up.

JANET“Half an hour,” huh?

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JANET looks up.

JANETThank God you’re back! I was worried about you.

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Exposition Emotion

APARTMENT, DAY. JANET , a 35-year-old woman, slumps in her chair at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. She glances at the CLOCK on the wall, then takes another drag, looking unhappy.


JANET doesn’t even look up.

JANETYou know, Brad, my last husband was late once. Once.

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Exposition Emotion

APARTMENT, DAY. JANET , a 35-year-old woman, slumps in her chair at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. She glances at the CLOCK on the wall, then takes another drag, looking unhappy.


JANET looks at her watch then glares furiously at BRAD.

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Other Considerations

• Humor• Naturalness vs. Compression• Audience

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• Humor– Even the most intense story experience needs the occasional

stress-relieving laugh

“Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!”

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“I’ll be back.”

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“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

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stress-relieving laugh– Many properties require a significant amount of comedy writing– Few things are as subjective as comedy– Test your material– Humor extends length

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• Naturalness vs. Compression– Writing natural-sounding dialogue comes easily to some, but

most writers need to work at it– Real-world dialogue vs. effective, natural-sounding story

dialogue– Exercise

• Record people talking and transcribe it• Rewrite the conversation for clarity and brevity

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• Audience– What is your target audience?

• Age• Sex• Interests• Pop culture knowledge

– ESRB• Are you writing at a level appropriate for the target ESRB

rating (E, E10+, T, M?)– Research and read entertainment experiences targeted

at the same audience

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Your Writing and Editing Process

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Process

Process Cutscenes

• Blocking Out– Work with designers to determine what each cutscene

MUST convey in order to:• Pay off previous game experience• Set up / support next game experience• Continue to move the overall game plot forward• Establish important character and relationship info• Otherwise support design or storytelling goals

– Do a rough first pass on all cutscenes in the game before beginning to edit or polish any of them

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Process Cutscenes

• Second pass– After first pass, evaluate to make sure all requirements

of each cutscene are being met• Pay off previous game experience• Set up / support next game experience• Continue to move the overall game plot forward• Establish important character and relationship info• Otherwise support design or storytelling goals

– Flesh it out– Your second pass might be longer than the first!– Before you start to cut the fat, make sure all the muscle

is there

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Process Cutscenes

• Editing– Now it’s time to pare dialogue down to its essence– Look at every sentence and challenge it to justify its

existence• What purpose do you serve?• Could you be replaced by a shorter or better phrase?• Are you being spoken by the best choice of character?• Are you trying to communicate too many things all at

once?• Do you sound natural?• Are you surrounded by sentences of similar length?

– Shorten, replace, remove wherever possible. Cut until it starts to hurt!

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Process Cutscenes

• Editing – Second Round– After challenging sentences, move onto challenging the

individual words– Shorten, replace, remove wherever you can– More words = more likelihood player hits “skip” button

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Process In-Game Dialogue

• In-Game Dialogue– Same rules as Cutscene dialogue apply– Emphasis on providing very specific direction

• Objectives• Hints• Means to the end

– Use the “challenge each word” process here, too– Shorten, replace, remove wherever you can– However, “timeout idle” and similar throwaway lines are

fun to write and pure gravy for a writer. Have fun!

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• Getting Feedback– Don’t do all edits yourself– If your company has no editors, find another writer to

read your work– Don’t prep them any more than you must

• The “colder” they read it, the better– They can help you check:

• Is your work confusing or clear?• Is exposition coming across?• Is your writing entertaining?

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• Becoming a better dialogue editor– Look at how other writers handle their dialogue– Movie scripts are generally tight: read lots of them

• In particular, look to good movie adaptations of novels to see how the masters cut something big down to size

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Case Study: Lord of the Rings: ROTK

Novel by J.R.R. TolkienScreenplay by

Fran Walsh & Philippa Boyens & Peter Jackson

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Case Study: Lord of the Rings: ROTKSam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam, and it has been saved ... but not for me . . .

Sam: You don’t mean that - you can’t leave.

Frodo (handing him the Red Book): The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo V/O: My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the Story will go on.

Scene time: 4:35

Sam: Where are you going, Master?

Frodo: To the Havens, Sam.

Sam: And I can’t come.

Frodo: No, Sam. Not yet, anyway, not further than the Havens. Though you too were a Ring-Bearer, if only for a little while. Your time may come. Do not be too sad, Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.

Sam: But I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done.

Frodo: So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them. But you are my heir: all that I have and might have had I leave to you. And also you have Rose, and Elanor; and Frodo-lad will come, and Rosie-lass, and Merry, and Goldilocks, and Pippin; and perhaps more than I cannot see. Your hands and your wits will be needed everywhere. You will be the Mayor, of course, as long as you want to be, and the most famous gardener in history; and you will read things out of the Red Book, and keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more. And that will keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, as long as your part of the Story goes on.

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Reference / Reading• Aristotle. Poetics

– Public domain• Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a Thousand Faces

– Princeton University Press (reprint), 1972• Field, Syd. Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting

– Dell Books, 1987• Franklin, Jon. Writing For Story

– Atheneum, 1986• McKee, Robert. Story

– Regan Books, 1997• Phillips, Melanie and Chris Huntley. Dramatica: A New Theory of Story

– Write Brothers, 2004• Rollings, Andrew and Ernest Adams. Andrew Rollings and Ernest Adams on Game Design

– New Rider Games, 2003• Strunk, William and E.B. White. The Elements of Style

– Longman (4th edition), 1999• Vogler, Christopher. The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers

– Michael Wiese Productions, 1998

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