Leading People in Times of StressThree instinctual ways people react to stress

Marc A. Pitman, CEO@marcapitman | @concordleaders ConcordLeadershipGroup.com

Wouldn’t it be great to have glasses to help us see

more depth?

Karen Horney's “Needs”

Expansion (Aggressive)

We now call these “STANCES”

Compliance (Dependent)

Detachment (Withdrawing)

3 Stances

• Fast paced • Future focused • Social

recognition

• Present focused • Aware of others • How this will “fix”

the problem

• Aware of past • Ways to minimize

personal impact • Need their own

space• Instinct: ACTION • Instinct: Look to others for answers • Instinct: Pull back

AGRESSIVE DEPENDENT WITHDRAWN

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

3 Stances

• Instinct: ACTION • Instinct: Look to others for answers • Instinct: Pull back

And they each frustrate the other!AGRESSIVE DEPENDENT WITHDRAWN

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

AGRESSIVE DEPENDENT WITHDRAWN

3 Stances

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

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Peacemaker

Perfectionist

Caretaker

Achiever

Tragic RomanticInvestigator

Loyalist

Enthusiast

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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

Protector

Achiever

Enthusiast

Aggressive Stance3• Aim - Success and efficiency

• Fear - Being worthless• Stress - Ambiguous attempts at success lead to lethargy• Help - Seeing innate worth, not just outward

7• Aim - To stay “up” & experiencing exciting things• Fear - Being deprived, dragged down, limited, or in pain• Stress - Avoids negative but can become stormy• Help - Resist incessant planning; be here now

8• Aim - Control, to protect those close to them• Fear - Being taken advantage of• Stress - Dominance to fearful & secretive• Help - Finding peace in not being in control

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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

Perfectionist

Caretaker

Questioner

Dependent Stance1 • Aim - Constant improvement, eliminating all error

• Fear - Not being good enough, messing up• Stress - Doubling down to moody & irrational• Help - Done enough, accepting things aren’t perfect

2 • Aim - Helping, being needed, indispensable • Fear - Not being wanted, not being helped• Stress - Frustrated helping leads to aggressive pushiness• Help - Care for self, you’re not a burden; your needs

matter

6 • Aim - All contingencies planned, to be supported• Fear - Being unsupported & without guidance• Stress - Worst-case planning becomes oddly competitive• Help - Learning you can trust yourself, others already do

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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

Peacemaker

Tragic RomanticInvestigator

Withdrawing Stance4• Aim - To be authentic, to find their significance

• Fear - Not being seen, not being understood• Stress - Self-focused to overly, smotheringly helpful• Help - Trusting that your shortcomings and flaws won’t

automatically lead to your team leaving you

5• Aim - Being capable & competent• Fear - Not having enough data to be effective• Stress - Detached to hyperactive; humor attempts come

across as cynicism• Help - Trust that you know enough to act in front of the

lens; your team needs to see you

9• Aim - Stability, avoidance of conflict, genuine peace• Fear - Loss and seperation• Stress - Numbing activities to growing anxiety• Help - Allowing the isolation to help you figure out what is

important to you (might start with “not’s”)

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

9

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Investigator

Enthusiast

© The Concord Leadership Group LLC

9

1

2

3

45

6

7

8Protector

Peacemaker

Perfectionist

Caretaker

Achiever

Tragic RomanticInvestigator

Loyalist

Enthusiast

Recordings Stances & Recovery by Suzanne Stabile https://www.lifeinthetrinityministry.com/store/

9 Types of Stories by Marc A. Pitman https://EnneagramIntro.com/

Podcasts The Enneagram Journey with Suzanne Stabile https://TheEnneagramJourney.org/

Enneagram Mapmakers with Christopher Heuertz https://cac.org/podcast/enneagram-mapmakers/

Books What’s My Type? by Kathy Hurley & Ted Donson

The Road Back to You by Ian Cron & Suzanne Stabile The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile

The 9 Types of Leadership by Beatrice Chestnut Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson

Our Inner Conflicts and Neurosis & Human Growth by Karen Horney

More on the Enneagram & Stances

ConcordLeadershipGroup.com/daily-focus/

MARC A. PITMAN marc@concordleadershipgroup.com

@marcapitman