Tony Swainston Ltd

Leadership

“Emotional Intelligence for

Leadership Excellence

”

1

Tony Swainston

Emotional Intelligence for Leadership Excellence

Dubai and Kuala Lumpur

But first. Have you got magical hands?

Introduction

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Personal introductions

1. My name

2. My job

3. Why I’m here

Day 1: Session 1

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Day 1: Session1. Overview

1. Why is EI important?

2. What is EI?

3. EI and the 6 styles of leadership

4. The impact of EI on leadership (exercise)

5. Leading by example - pacesetting

6. EI and leading by example (exercise)

Why is EI important? 5 good reasons

1. Studies have shown that a high emotional quotient (or EQ)boosts career success, entrepreneurial potential, leadershiptalent, health, relationship satisfaction, humour, and happiness.(Harvard Business Review)

2. It is also the best antidote to work stress and it matters in every job —because all jobs involve dealing with people, and people with higherEQ are more rewarding to deal with. (Harvard Business Review)

Why is EI important? 5 good reasons

3. There is a growing body of research findings that scientificallydemonstrates that emotional intelligence predicts how well weperform at home, school and in the workplace. (Reuven Bar-On, Ph.D)

4. Studies of 500 organisations worldwide indicate that people who scorehighest on EI measures rise to the top of organisations (Fenman, UsingEmotional Intelligence at Work)

5. 46% of newly hired employees will fail within 18 months. 89% for lackof soft skills – such as professionalism or ability to get along withothers.

Why is EI important? Overall Work Success

Self-actualisation

Optimism

Stress tolerance

Happiness

Assertiveness

Self-awarenessSocial-awareness

(Empathy)

Self-management Social skills

Awareness

Actions

Self Others

Motivation

11

The EI dimensions model

Leadership styles

Directive (Coercive)

Visionary

Democratic

Affiliative

Pacesetting

Coaching

Exercise 1: The impact of EI on leadership

1. There are five sheets a flipchart paper around the room with each of the fivedimensions of emotional intelligence (EI) written on them.

2. Your challenge is to write, on post-its, any ways that you believe you might in thefuture improve each of the dimensions of EI.

3. At the end of the exercise you can write in your course booklet your thoughts onthis.

Your course booklet also provides some other possible actions that you can take toimprove the five dimensional of EI (but please don't look at these yet!)

Exercise 2: EI and leading by example

1. With a small group of people you will discuss one of the five examples of how to pace-set, or lead by example.

2. Also try to come up with another way of leading by example that you have observedall that you use yourself.

3. Then you are going to "jigsaw" with the rest of the group as will be explained.4. At the end of the exercise please write your own thoughts in your course booklets.

Day 1: Session 2

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Day 1: Session 2. Overview

1. Your best leader and their actions (exercise)

2. The relative importance of IQ and EQ

3. Controlling moods and EI

4. The impact of moods on leadership effectiveness (exercise)

5. Review and actions

Exercise 3: Your best leader and their actions

1. With a small group of people you will discuss one of the five examples of how to pace-set, or lead by example.

2. Also try to come up with another way of leading by example that you have observedall that you use yourself.

3. Then you are going to "jigsaw" with the rest of the group as will be explained.4. At the end of the exercise please write your own thoughts in your course booklets.

The Good Leader - Actions

Good Boss

• Friendly

• Approachable

• Good Listener

• Caring

• Knowledgeable

• Took Time

• Reflective

• Concerned

• Responsive

• Above & Beyond

• Self Confident

• Took Ownership

• Cheerful

• Helpful

• Insightful

• Accommodating

• Personable

Good Boss

• Visionary

• Humorous

• Kind

• Appreciative

• Good

communicator

• Clear, precise

(communication)

• Hard worker

• Empathetic

• Good team

builder

• Positive

• Ethical

• Results-oriented

The Bad Leader - Actions

Bad Boss

• Rude

• Headstrong

• Insensitive

• Closed

• Unhelpful

• Unprofessional

• Unconcerned

• Untrained

• Incompetent

• Unethical

• Lazy / Bored

• Blame others

• Smarmy

• Arrogant

• Condescending

• Non-responsive

Bad Boss

• Disrespectful

• Belligerent

• Demeaning

• Moody

• Negative

• Unethical

• Incompetent

• Discouraging

• Self-absorbed

• Inconsistent

direction

• Vindictive

• Ego-maniac

• Prideful

• Manipulative

• Paranoid

The Good Leader - Feelings

Good Boss

• Satisfied

• You were

important

• Valued

• Customer for

life

• Relieved

• Pleasant

• Open

• Grateful

• Impressed

• Worthy

• Validated

• Happy

• Equal

• Encouraged

• Hopeful

• Special

Good Boss

• Empowered

• Enthusiastic

• Valued

• Energized

• Hopeful

• Confident

• Safe

• Relaxed

• Mutual

admiration

• Respected

• Motivated to

excel

The Bad Leader - Feelings

Bad Boss

• Angry

• Ignored

• Devalued

• Unimportant

• Vengeful

• Helpless

• Unsatisfied

• Disrespected

• Unsafe /

Vulnerable

• Used & Abused

• Frustrated

• Victimized

• Disappointed

• Discontent

• Stressed

• Distressed

• In shock

• Disbelief

• Drained

• Hopeless

Bad Boss

• Little, small,

demeaned

• Hopeless

• Stupid

• Drained

• Very Stressed

• Angry

• Fearful

• Depressed

• Unappreciated

• Incompetent

• Rebellious

• Withdrawn

• Uncooperative

• Unproductive

• Eager to

sabotage

Dr. Daniel Goleman

Goleman says that an individual's success depends 80% on EQ (emotional quotient) and 20% on IQ (intellectual quotient).

EQ v IQRatio4:1

Moods

There is a concept in French which is called "Noblesse oblige". It means,roughly, that wealth, power and prestige go hand-in-hand with certainsocial responsibilities – in other words, with privilege comes duty. It is aprivilege when we have the opportunity to lead a team of people, butwith it comes many responsibilities, chief of which, some leadershippundits would contend, is managing moods.

Which boss would you like to work for?

Dynamic resonance

It's important to note that a leader's mood has the greatest impact onperformance when it is upbeat. But it must also be in tune with thosearound her.

Goleman et al call this dynamic resonance.

The most effective executives display moods and behaviours that matchthe situation at hand, with a healthy dose of optimism mixed in.

Exercise 4: The impact of moods on leadership effectiveness

Use the six steps given in your course booklet to create a mood-pyramid of importancefor you in terms of the actions that you will take to create an even better climate in yourwork environment. The top of the pyramid is the most important action, you havedecided, for you to take.

Day 1: Session 3

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Day 1: Session1. Overview

1. Why is EI important?

2. What is EI?

3. EI and the 6 styles of leadership

4. The impact of EI on leadership (exercise)

5. Leading by example - pacesetting

6. EI and leading by example (exercise)

Exercise 5: A brief EQ test

• In your course booklet you will find 10 scenarios, and you are asked to decide on what action you would take in each of these.

• When you have done this, discuss your responses with another person on your table.• Explain why you would take the actions you have decided on in each situation. • Do you think that the actions you have chosen, will bring about the best results in each situation? • Or, are you referring to what you would do, even though you may not believe that your actions are not

necessarily the best ones to take? If so, why do you take these kinds of actions?• Following on from this, you will be given marks for each of the actions you have taken. The maximum

mark you can achieve on this test is 100.• You will also be given reasons for why different marks are given for each of the actions you can take.

To finish this exercise, talk again with your partner, about any changes in your actions in these scenarios based on your reflections here.

Self-awarenessThe first building block of EI

Researchers Shelley Duval and RobertWicklund published the first major theoryof self-awareness in the early 1970s.

They said that self-awareness is the abilityto look inward, think deeply about yourbehaviour, and consider how it aligns withyour moral standards and values.

Self-awarenessThe first building block of EI

Self-awareness is the most importantelement of emotional intelligence. It givesyou the ability to understand and controlyour own emotions and actions, and ithelps you understand how these affect theemotions and actions of others.

Exercise 6: Developing self-awarenessThe first building block of EI

• You will be given one of four suggestion for how we can develop our self-awareness.• Study and reflect on this, and decide on a personal level how valuable you feel this is.• Then discuss this with other people on your table.

When you have done this, you can summarise your thoughts about each of thesesuggestions in your course booklet.

Self-awareness

Day 1: Session 4

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Self-management

• Self-management builds on the basis of self-awareness and is the ability to control your emotions so that they don't control you.

• Self-management is critical for a manager because no one wants to work for someone who is not in control of themselves.

• Making an honest assessment of your own behaviour will enable you to identify and address problem areas before they become damaging.

Exercise 7: Developing self-managementThe second building block of EI

In your course booklets you will find two activities for this exercise. You can choose which of these you would like to do.

One is called energy boosters and drainers.The other is time management activity.

When you have finished this, it would be good to share your thoughts with another person. You can choose whether you would like to speak to someone else who has done the same activity or chosen to do the other activity.

And finally, write down your reflections on the exercise in your course booklet.

Self-management

The Chinese symbol for ‘listening’

This says …

1. I listen with my ears ... 2. ….. to you ….

3. ….. with my eyes …

4. ….. with undivided attention …..

5. ….. and with my heart

7 Active Listening Techniques

1. Be attentive.

2. Ask open-ended questions.

3. Ask probing questions.

4. Request clarification.

5. Paraphrase.

6. Be attuned to and reflect feelings.

7. Summarise.

Exercise 8: EI and the importance of listening as a leader

• Take a look in your course booklets at the seven active listening skills. Decide on which of these you would like to focus on.

• You are then going to spend three minutes listening to another person describe to you something that is important or interesting for them. Trying out the active listening skills you have decided to focus on.

• Then it will be your turn to speak to the other person about something that is important or interesting for you.

Write your thoughts down about this exercise in your course booklet.

Presence

While it can appear that successful people are born with a magictouch, executive presence is something that anyone can learn.

We can develop presence in a number of ways. Key factors are:

A. Gravitas – how you act.

B. Communication – how you speak.

C. Appearance – how you look.

Exercise 9: The importance of presence

We are going to do a final flipchart exercise today.

You will see three sheets with the three aspects of presence that we are looking at today. These are:

1. Gravitas – how you act.2. Communication – how you speak.3. Appearance – how you look.

In each case, please write some ideas down to indicate what you believe are important factors that influence each of these aspects of presence.

People with presence demonstrate:

• Clearer thinking and perception.

• Greater courage, conviction and sensitivity in handling conflict.

• More focus on higher priorities.

• More energy and passion.

• Calm when dealing with change.

• More openness to new opportunities.

• Confidence in their own views.

Day 2: Session 1

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Empathy

Empathy is valued currency. It allows us to create bonds of trust,it gives us insights into what others may be feeling or thinking; ithelps us understand how or why others are reacting tosituations, it sharpens our "people acumen" and it informs ourdecisions.

Empathy

Dr Antonio Damasio (outlined in his book: "Descartes' Error:Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain"), found that medicalpatients who had damage to part of the brain associated withempathy showed significant deficits in relationship skills, eventhough their reasoning and learning abilities remained intact.

Have you come across a leader who seems to lack empathy?

Empathy

A formal definition of Empathy is the ability to identify andunderstand another's situation, feelings and motives. It's ourcapacity to recognize the concerns other people have. Empathymeans: "putting yourself in the other person's shoes" or "seeingthings through someone else's eyes."

Empathy – can it be developed?

The news is good!

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Diamond 9

A diamond-9

Exercise 10: Developing social awareness (empathy)The third building block of EI

In your course booklets you will find 10 statements that refer to ways that we can develop our social awareness or empathy. In the way that has been described, you are going to create a diamond-9.

Record your diamond-9, by reference to each of the numbers of the statements, in the diagram in your booklet.

Social-awareness

(Empathy)

Social skills

These include:• Inspiration• Influence• Developing others• Change catalyst• Conflict management• Teamwork and collaboration

Developing social skills

Here we will consider ways that we can support other people todevelop their emotional intelligence, and at the same time workto develop our own social skills.

By focusing on increasing your people's emotional intelligence,you can reap many benefits from improved teamwork.

Exercise 11: Developing social skillsThe fourth building block of EI

Thinking over the things we have covered about EI sofar, which of these could you use in order to develop EIin those you work with?

Try to identify one or two colleagues that you will tryout some EI development with.• Why have you chosen them?• What will you do with them?• When will you do this?

Discuss this with another person in the room today.

Social skills

Developing EI in others

1. Model the way

2. Listen to them

3. Talk about the professional and personal benefits

4. Encourage them to write a journal – self-awareness

5. Build optimism – remind them of their strengths

6. Encourage healthy disagreement

7. Guide them through a SWOT analysis

8. Encourage them to set goals

9. Let them fail and learn from it

10. Share some challenges that you have had

Motivation

• What does motivation mean to you?

• What motivates you at work?

• Is it money?

• What fires you up?

• What do you think motivates some of your colleagues?

• Discuss this with people on your table and agree on five key motivators. Write these in your course booklet.

MotivationMaslow

Physiological

Safety

Belonging

Esteem

Thri

veSu

rviv

eA

live

Dea

d

Self Actualisation

MotivationAMP – the golden triangle of motivation

Autonomy

Mastery Purpose

AMP

Exercise 12: Developing motivationThe fifth building block of EI

Think about the ways that you might try to motivate people even more in the future. Write these in your course booklet.

In addition, how can you maintain your own level of motivation at work?

Motivation

Motivation, WHY and coaching

This is where coaching can often be of great value. A coach can helpsomeone to uncover the blockages that are preventing them from feelingthe level of satisfaction they would like to feel in their lives. And then,once this is understood, the coach can help the person to find their ownway forward. A way that suits them best.

Day 2: Session 2

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Mindset –what is yours?

Exercise 13: Testing your mindset

Does it matter what we think?

According to Prof Carol Dweck it does.

“Mindset”

Fixed Mindset Growth Mindset

“My ability comes from my talent. It is

in my genes.”

“My ability comes from the effort I put into learning”

When the times get tough and obstacles

come along this person tends to

give in.

When the times get tough and obstacles

come along this person tries harder.

Read this!

opportunityisnowhere

Break the cycle if it is negative

Self talk

Results

Behaviour

A self fulfilling prophecy

VideoFleas in a jar

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Diamond 9

A diamond-9

Stress to others

1. Intelligence is not fixed. This is scientifically proven. Education increases IQ. We all learn at different rates & in different ways.

2. The “truth” that many of the most successful and creative people were once judged to have low intelligence.

3. What you are able to achieve nobody knows.

4. What you will achieve will be mostly down to your effort.

5. To learn requires effort. Remind people that if the work is not hard they are not learning. (This helps them to accept high challenge.)

6. When you learn connections in your brain are created that makes it more efficient at learning more. You will become smarter.

7. Great learners learn by asking questions. They seek support.

8. Great learners make mistakes. This is how we learn.

9. Be careful what you tell yourself.

10. Be careful what other people tell you.

Exercise 14: Ways to influence the mindset of others

You will now have the opportunity to coach another person and becoached by another person.

You will exchange course booklets so that:

• When you coach the other person you will write down their commentsin their course booklet.

• When you are coached by the other person they will write down yourcomments in your course booklet.

Exercise 15: Emotional intelligence, asking questions and coaching

The GROW model

GOAL

REALITY

OPTIONS

WILL

72

Becoming a professional coach

Tony Swainston Ltd

Day 2: Session 3

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Emotional intelligence and accountability

"I swear by Apollo"... so starts theOath of Hippocrates, an oath ofethical, professional behavioursworn by all new physicians – apromise to practice good medicineto the best of their ability, for thegood of their patients. It essentiallyboils down to a commitment to "dono harm". Wouldn't it be great tohave such an oath for leaders – anoath of personal accountability, notjust for business outcomes and forleading others, but for leadingoneself as well.

• In this exercise you will be given one of four scenarios to consider. Reflect on the actions that the leader took and then decide what he/she or you should/would have done.

• You can then discuss this with your colleagues here and write some comments in your course booklet.

• Then you will be asked to look at one of eight ways that you can become even more accountable as a leader. Our ability to be accountable is closely linked with the development of our emotional intelligence.

• Once again you can then discuss your thoughts with other people around your table and write any reflections you have in your course booklet.

Exercise 16: Developing your accountability as a leader

Day 2: Session 4

Emotional Intelligence

for Leadership Excellence

Emotional intelligence and dealing with uncertainty

The late John Finley, English historian and mathematician tells us:"Maturity of mind is the capacity to endure uncertainty".

In a study conducted by The Centre for Creative Leadership, inability tohandle change emerged as one of the primary causes for executivederailment (followed by inability to work well in a team and a deficit ininterpersonal skills).

HBR (Harvard Business Review)

An insightful article is “The Quest for Resilience, Harvard Business Review(September 2003).

“In turbulent, uncertain times, the only sure advantage is thecapacity for reinventing your business model before it's toolate.”

Corporate uncertainty is not going away. Successful individualswithin those companies are those that are agile and can adapt.

First:

• Where are the uncertainties at work for you at the moment?

• How do you deal with these?

• Do you feel like you deal well with uncertainty?

• Discuss this with one or two more people.

• Are your uncertainties similar?

Then:

• You have been given, in your course booklet, eight ways of potentially dealing with uncertainty. Consider which of these appeals to you most as an action that you can take forward.

Exercise 17: EI and dealing with uncertainty

• Towards the back of your course booklet you will find a "Plan of actions". This has space for six actions for youto take based on what we have looked at over the past two days.

• You may already have noted down in your booklet certain actions that you will take and therefore your "Planof actions" may be a summary of these, or you may decide to think of other actions that you now would liketo take.

• Take time now to think through this and commit yourself to these actions when you go back to your worksituation.

• I hope that your emotional intelligence feels reinvigorated, and that there are elements of what we havelooked at which will support you moving forward in your career and your life in general.

Good luck with all that you do.

Exercise 18: Review and actions

Let’s return to this! Have you got magical hands?

Contact

Tony Swainston,

Managing Director,

Tony Swainston Ltd,

20 Hollins Road, Harrogate, HG1 2JF, England

Tel: +44 (0) 1423 536307 Mob: +44 (0) 7919 045429

Web: www.tonyswainston.com

Email: tony@tonyswainston.com