Leading by Acting on the Possibilities

Leaders see what's possible, can describe the possibilities, and and pursue them.  It all starts with an individual choice to begin a process of change.  This session will explore leadership styles and provide insights into recognizing personal leadership strengths and how to use them to promote your business or take a stand on an issue, or make needed changes.

Leaders are “agents of change”, and if change is to occur at all it must begin somewhere and within someone. The role of leadership is to envision a better future and become the change agent that makes this future possible. This is true of a business, a community or our personal life. But it all starts with an individual choice to begin a process of change. It has been said that we must become the change we wish to see.

Brainstorm with group- what is leadership?

Dessler (2004) defined leadership as “one person influencing another to willingly

work toward a predetermined objective” (p. 503).

Coulter (2002) defined strategic leadership as “an individual’s ability to anticipate,

envision, maintain flexibility, think strategically, and work with others in the

organization to initiate changes that will create a viable and valuable future for

the organization” (p. 20). 

Small groups (depending on number in attendance- brainstorm the

characteristics of leaders list on easel paper)

Bisoux (2002) reiterates Posner in stating, “you can’t be an effective manager these days without being an effective leader.  There’s too much complexity, too much turbulence to simply ‘manage’” (p. 31).

Traits are defined by Dessler (2004) as “the unchanging characteristics of a person that predisposes someone in a particular way” (p. 256).

•Collaborate – partner. Issues are too large to try to go it alone. Partner with parents and other agencies. Pay attention to professional jealousy—really destructive

•Build relationships, alliances – network, often called Clan skills. Able to build relationships to manage external relationships.•Build connections - a personal connection. Leave your comfort zone if necessary. Build one person at a time. Listening is fundamental. People need to be heard and their opinion valued. The most influential are often the best listeners.

•Ambition & energy – to get the job done, follow-through, being dependable so people can count on you and see your energy. It is contagious.

•The desire to lead – Must want to lead others, or a negative attitude , lack of enthusiasm will be conveyed.•Honesty and integrity – be trustworthy, not tell secrets or talk about others behind backs, illusions don’t cut it. People are smarter than that.

•Self-confidence - A leader must be confident in himself, or herself, before others can have a level of confidence in him. •Intelligence – gotta be smart and exude that you can think through thigs. This helps with respect as well!•Job-relevant knowledge - knowledge about the organization as well as about the role. (Robbins, 2003, Shapiro, 1999)

Dessler (2004) identified the Big 5 Traits, which he deemed as the foundations to

personality.  In order for a person to be a true, effective leader, he should have

some level of extraversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness

and must be open to experiences (p. 257).

Cattell’s Leadership Potential equation is used to determine the traits that

characterize an effective leader.  Cattell’s Potential equation includes emotional

stability, they must by psychologically mature and be capable of dealing with a

plethora of situations; dominance, they must be competitive and assertive when

dealing with others; enthusiasm, they must be active, expressive, and energetic,

optimistic and open to change; conscientiousness, they must possess a sense of

duty; social boldness, they are usually spontaneous risk-takers and tough-

skinned; tough-mindedness, they tend to be practical, logical and to-the-point

and are comfortable with criticism; self-assurance, possessing self-confidence

and resiliency; and compulsiveness, typically, they are controlled and precise in

their social interactions (n.p.).

Training versus Mentoring

Studies have shown that career success, work satisfaction, and resiliency to

stress are enhanced by a mentoring relationship (Whetton & Cameron (2002). 

Furthermore, they describe a mentoring relationship as one in which “individuals

need someone else in the organization that can provide a role model, from whom

they can learn, and from whom they can receive attention and reinforcement of

self-worth, especially under certain, crucial, and stressful situations” (p. 135). 

Therefore, a mentor is more than an on-the-job trainer. 

 Another job of a mentor is listening.  Shapiro (1999) states “we must temporarily

suspend our judgments, and allow ourselves to be fully present for the other

person” (p. 11). Shapiro (1999) continues with “Listening is the key that opens

the door to human motivation” (p. 12), hence, a mentor is a motivator.     

Whereas a mentor focuses on the relationship,

A Trainer’s primary focus is the product, process, and procedures defined within

the scope of the organization.  A trainer should also be somewhat more

knowledgable than those he/she is teaching.  In this respect, the trainer is viewed

as a leader, or a teacher  sharing their knowledge with the less familiar

coworkers. 

Many people feel that if they share their knowledge, they will not retain their

power as a superior, their, or their title as the residing expert on a certain

subject.  These types of people do not consider the possibilities that they may be

replaced at one point or another.  They do not consider that their lack of

information sharing is ultimately detrimental to the accomplishment of the long

term organizational goals.  The oxymoron with this situation is that true leaders

share their knowledge and experiences because they possess the true traits of a

leader and they want to help others succeed, as well as trying to help the

organization succeed in its visions and goals for future endeavors.

Identifying a potential leader

The most gifted athletes rarely make good coaches. The best violinist will not necessarily make the best conductor. Nor will the best teacher necessarily make the child care center director.

So it's critical to distinguish between the skill of performance and the skill of leading the performance, two entirely different skills.

It's also important to determine whether a person is capable of learning leadership. The natural leader will stand out. The trick is identifying those who are capable of learning leadership over time.

Here are several traits to help identify whether someone is capable of learning to lead.

Cut into strips for small groups to use. Study, discuss and reflect upon. Do they agree or disagree? Can you share examples? As a group share insights you found (15 min)

Leadership in the past. The best predictor of the future is the past. When I was in business, I took note of any worker who told me he was

superintendent of a school or a deacon in his church or a Boy Scout leader. If he showed leadership outside of the job, I wanted to find out if he had some leadership potential on the job.

The capacity to create or catch vision. When I talk to people about the future, I want their eyes to light up. I want them to ask the right questions about what I'm talking about.

The founder of Jefferson Standard built a successful insurance company from scratch. He assembled some of the greatest insurance people by simply asking, "Why don't you come and help me build something great?"

A person who doesn't feel the thrill of challenge is not a potential leader. A constructive spirit of discontent. Some people would call this criticism,

but there's a big difference in being constructively discontent and being critical. If somebody says, "There's got to be a better way to do this," I see if there's leadership potential by asking, "Have you ever thought about what that better way might be?" If he says no, he is being critical, not constructive. But if he says yes, he's challenged by a constructive spirit of discontent. That's the unscratchable itch. It is always in the leader.

People locked in the status quo are not leaders. I ask of a potential leader, Does this person believe there is always a better way to do something?

Practical ideas. Highly original people are often not good leaders because they are unable to judge their output; they need somebody else to say, "This will work" or "This won't."

Brainstorming is not a particularly helpful practice in leadership, because ideas need to stay practical. Not everybody with practical ideas is a leader, of course, but leaders seem to be able to identify which ideas are practical and which aren't.

A willingness to take responsibility. One night at the end of the second shift, I walked out of the plant and passed the porter. As head of operations, I had started my day at the beginning of the first shift. The porter said, "Mr. Smith, I sure wish I had your pay, but I don't want your worry." He equated responsibility and worry. He wanted to be able to drop his responsibility when he walked out the door and not carry it home. That's understandable, but it's not a trait in potential leaders. I thought about the porter's comment driving home. If the vice-president and the porter were paid the same money, I'd still want to be vice-president. Carrying responsibility doesn't intimidate me, because the joy of accomplishment-the vicarious feeling of contributing to other people-is what leadership is all about.

A completion factor. I might test somebody's commitment by putting him or her on a task force. I'd find a problem that needs solving and assemble a group of people whose normal responsibilities don't include tackling that problem. The person who grabs hold of the problem and won't let go, like a dog with a bone, has leadership potential. This quality is critical in leaders, for there will be times when nothing but one's iron will says, "Keep going." Dale Carnegie used to say, "I know men in the ranks who will not stay in the ranks. Why? Because they have the ability to get things

done." In the military, it is called "completed staff work." With potential leaders, when the work comes in, it's complete. The half-cooked meal isn't good enough.

Mental toughness. No one can lead without being criticized or without facing discouragement. A potential leader needs a mental toughness. I don't want a mean leader; I want a tough-minded leader who sees things as they are and will pay the price. Leadership creates a certain separation from one's peers. The separation comes from carrying responsibility that only you can carry. Years ago, I spoke to a group of presidents in Columbus, Ohio, about loneliness in leadership. One participant, president of an architectural firm, came up afterward and said, "You've solved my problem." "What's your problem?" I asked. "My organization's always confused," he said, "and I didn't know why. It's because I don't like to be lonely; I've got to talk about my ideas to the rest of the company. But they never know which ones will work, so everybody who likes my idea jumps to work on it. Those who don't, work against it. Employees are going backward and forward-when the idea may not even come about at all." Fearing loneliness, this president was not able to keep his ideas to himself until they were better formulated. A leader must be able to keep his or her own counsel until the proper time.

Peer respect. Peer respect doesn't reveal ability, but it can show character and personality. Trammell Crow, one of the world's most successful real estate brokers, said that he looks for people whose associates want them to succeed. He said, "It's tough enough to succeed when everybody wants you to succeed. People who don't want you to succeed are like weights in your running shoes." Maxey Jarmen used to say, "It isn't important that people like you. It's important that they respect you. They may like you but not follow you. If they respect you, they'll follow you, even if perhaps they don't like you."

Family respect. I also look at the family of a potential leader: Do they respect him or her? Fifteen years ago, my daughter said, "Dad, one thing I appreciate is that after you speak and I walk up, you are always attentive to me. You seem proud of me." That meant a lot to me. If respect isn't there, that's also visible. The family's feelings toward someone reveal much about his or her potential to lead.

A quality that makes people listen to them. Potential leaders have a "holding court" quality about them. When they speak, people listen. Other people may talk a great deal, but nobody listens to them. They're making a speech; they're not giving leadership. I take notice of people to whom others listen.

It's not enough for people to have leadership potential; they must have character and the right setting in which to grow. Before I give someone significant leadership responsibilities, I find it helpful to ask myself several questions:

What will this person do to be liked? It's nice to be liked, but as a leader it cannot be the controlling factor. The cause must be the prime motivator.

Does this person have a destructive weakness? There are only two things I need to know about myself: my constructive strength and any destructive weakness. A destructive weakness may not show up on a test; it's a character flaw. A destructive weakness may, for example, be an obsession. An obsession controls us; we don't control it. It only grows worse over time.

Can I provide this person the environment to succeed? It is so important, particularly in the early days of someone's leadership, that he or she be put into a congenial environment. I wouldn't want, for example, to put someone who requires mentoring with a leader who pays no attention to people. An environment that threatens our sense of security or well-being splits our concentration from the cause. Young leaders need an environment in which they can concentrate on leading.

(Fred Smith, LEADERSHIP JOURNAL; Fall 1996, Vol. XVII, No. 4, Page 30)

Let’s look at a diagram called the Possibilities Triangle.

The possibilities triangle includes the following:

        Seeing what’s possible

        Describing what’s possible

        Pursuing what’s possible

 

Seeing

Describing

Pursuing

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Leaders start by focusing on current reality. New (leader) appointees often spend up to six months visiting other like facilities and meeting with employees at all levels. They probe, observe, and evaluate what people say, and how people think and behave. What’s being accomplished? What’s not getting done?

However, leaders aren’t satisfied with the status quo. They believe most people

and organizations are underperforming and capable of achieving and redefining

their potential as new challenges are presented.” A colleague states, “Leaders

have bigger ideas and loftier goals in mind. They see opportunity while others

only see—business as usual!” 

Aside: The major message in Tom Peters’ new book, Re- imagine is just the point

I’m making—discover what’s possible. I encourage you to take this concept a

step further by challenging yourself to see new possibilities everyday. 

Story – The Art of Possibility. pp.106 the Wall – Imagining possibilities is creative

leadership—not dictatorial leadership, involving leadership. Passionate

leadership

Roadblocks

Non-leaders, bystanders stay focused on the status quo and obstacles that

prohibit change. Their attitudes and assumptions paralyze them from exploring

and uncovering new opportunities and possibilities.  They often operate with one

or more of the following mind-sets.  

        Stereotypes—“He’s a bean counter. He could never be in this

business.” “She’s only a secretary. She could never be a team

leader.”

        Theory X Assumptions—“Most people are lazy, irresponsible and

don’t want to work.” “He’s incapable of directing his own behavior.”

        Negative/Pessimistic—“We’ll never solve that problem.”

 When people hold these assumptions, beliefs, and attitudes they aren’t able to

see the potential in people and organizations. They have no vision of what can

be. Instead:

(Zander)

- Speak about possibility!

- Recognize the downward spiral and enroll people in the journey to radiating the

possibility

- Lead by making other more powerful (orchestra conductor does not make a

sound)

- Enroll every voice in the vision

- Look at people- are they engaged—do they have shining eyes? (Ben & Roz

Zander)

- Quiet the voice in the head that says “I can’t do it”

- Remember rule #6 – don’t take yourself so seriously

 How do leaders discover what’s possible? It starts with a fundamental belief in

people: in their capacity to create new ideas, experiment, learn, adapt, grow,

work as a unified team, and their will to create a better future.

Some of the actions you can take to SEE what’s possible include:

         Study The Best—Every chance you get observe the best—the top tennis

player, the most efficiently run zoo, the company that annually receives

outstanding customer service awards, etc. There are always new ideas and

lessons to be learned from studying the attitudes and actions of the best

performers.

        Change Your Mission—Restate your business purpose or mission. For

example, if I change my business mission from “to make buggy whips” to “to

design and produce unique leather products,” I’m opening my mind to

consider a wide range of leather products such as belts, bags, pants, and

wallets.

        Be Curious—Ask Questions. How can we cut cycle time by 50%?” My

favorite questions are “why” and “what if.” “Why do we have that procedure?” 

“What if we outsource the HR function?” The right question forces you to truly

evaluate how something is currently being done and how it might be done

differently.

        Start With A Clean Sheet Of Paper—Ask the question, “if you were

starting out today how would you set up and operate your business?” What

would you do differently?

        Travel—Visit other organizations (centers) like yours. Experiencing a

totally different culture always helps us see new possibilities and

opportunities.

        Leave Your Comfort Zone—Tom Russell, author, trainer and publisher

states, “When I think about what’s possible I focus on what makes me

uncomfortable. What lies just outside what I believe is possible. I find new

opportunities and directions just beyond my comfort zone.”

 Bottom line—leaders discover new possibilities in terms of both what can be

accomplished and how it can be done.

 Describing What’s Possible

 Leaders not only see what’s possible, but also describe what’s possible. They

describe what’s possible in a clear, concise, and compelling manner.  Leaders

paint the picture of a better future in a way that people can visualize it, feel it, and

connect with it.         .

 How can you make your message stand out from the crowd? What makes

Madonna stand out? She’s bold and daring. She’s provocative in her style, dress

and delivery. What makes Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech

stand out as one of the best of all time? His message was simple—equal

opportunity for all. However he packaged his message with colorful language, hit

emotional cords and his presence was clearly felt.

Ho-hum messages go by unnoticed. Originality, boldness, daring, passion and

guts grab people’s attention. What you say—the message and how you say it—

as well as the delivery are both critical to getting people’s attention. 

Creating the Message

Leaders have to take their ideas regarding what’s possible and organize these

abstract thoughts into a powerful concrete presentation. Sometimes you only

have a few minutes to informally present your ideas; while in other instances it

may mean giving a 40-minute formal speech. They use many of the following

techniques to create their presentation.

         The Right Balance—Leaders package their message with the right

balance of realism and optimism. They keep hope alive.

        Keep It Simple—Boil things down to the core nitty-gritty. Leaders use

simple stories, examples and illustrations to make their point.

        Contrast—They often compare or contrast “what is” versus what “can be.”

Leaders talk about “good-bad,” “right-wrong,” “present-future.” They boil

things down to two options so people have a clear choice of what needs to be

done and why. For example, “Our choice is to embrace risk and uncertainty

as a challenge, or stay in our comfort zone and lose market share.” 

        Stories—Nothing is more interesting than a good story. When leaders tell

stories, they engage people both emotionally and intellectually. A senior

executive told me, “The best stories are personal. They describe how someone

faced difficulty, struggled, experienced fear and doubt, and eventually found a

way to succeed. Memorable stories are simple but make a powerful point.”

        Colorful Language—They paint pictures. “The red BMW convertible…” is

easy to visualize. Former President Reagan once said, “a trillion bucks

amounts to a stack of dough as high as the Empire State Building.”

        Business Case—Present one-to-three reasons why change is needed.

Most people want a clear definitive reason why they need to change and

what’s in it for them.

 Delivering the message  How do leaders deliver their message? They are:

Passionate, Energetic, Animated, Confident, Determined, Purposeful,

Happy

Where do the passion, energy and fun come from? They’re excited about the

possibilities they see. Leaders love to discuss their vision. It’s like an evangelist

who wants to preach his message every chance he gets. In addition, they project

confidence and certainty that they know where they are going and how to get

there

Leaders create a clear, focused, powerful message. Their delivery is animated,

enthusiastic, and purposeful. However, leaders don’t create and deliver a “perfect

speech” on their first try. It’s like writing a book. Making revisions, editing, and

fine-tuning are needed to make it focused and powerful.

Group activity- scenario- see slide

  Pursuing What’s Possible

Step one is seeing what’s possible. Step two is describing what’s possible. Step

three is pursuing what’s possible.

Talk is one thing. Execution—taking action is something quite different. “Walking

the talk” means your actions had better match your words. A senior executive

states, “I must set the example. If I don’t take risks and show I’m willing to change how

can I expect my direct reports to change? No one will stretch more than I do.”

In addition to “setting the example”, pursuing what’s possible means helping

people change. As people leave their comfort zone doubts and fears creep in.

Fear of failure can become more pronounced as people move farther out of their

comfort zone. Leaders help people find the courage, knowledge, and skills to

make the needed changes. They provide the following support:

        Psychological Support—Help people deal with their doubts and fears.

Build people’s confidence. Affirm their talents and determination to succeed.

Remind people of their previous successes.

        Training Support—Help people learn the “how-to-do-it” part of the

equation. Change usually requires new knowledge and skills. Provide the

target audience with the appropriate education and training. Help people use

and apply their new skills.

        Cheerleading Support—Provide frequent recognition and rewards for

people’s efforts and accomplishments. Plan and celebrate short-term wins.

Momentum will increase if there are positive results early on.

        Feedback Support—The best leaders give frequent and candid

performance feedback. They let people know what they would like to see

"more of," "less of," and what should continue unchanged. Performance

feedback reinforces desired behavior and defines when new behavior is

needed. Without feedback, employees are left to assume their performance is

meeting or exceeding expectations.

It’s easy to get distracted and lose your focus. It’s tempting to give up on your

dream when problems and setbacks occur. However, leaders know the end

result is worth the effort. They help everyone keep their eye on the “prize.”

To what extent are you pursuing the possibilities you see for yourself and others?

To what extent are you implementing your plan to achieve your goals?

Summary  

Some people can’t see beyond today. They have no vision. Other people see

new possibilities but have trouble describing them clearly, concisely and

convincingly. Still others see what’s possible, describe it, but never take the first

steps to achieve their vision. To be an effective leader all three actions—seeing

what’s possible, describing what’s possible, and pursuing what’s possible—are

needed to lead and make a difference.

PP. 178 Art of Possibility book

http://www.leadingtoday.org/Assessment – pdf filehttp://www.ainc-inac.gc.ca/pr/pub/selfas_e.pdfhttp://coaching.gc.ca/practices/transforming_your_leadership_e.aspSeven common traps that affect our leadershiphttp://www.nwlink.com/~donclark/leader/survlead.htmlhttp://www.nsba.org/sbot/toolkit/LeadSA.htmlhttp://www.ainc-inac.gc.ca/pr/pub/selfas_e.pdfhttp://leadership.nasa.gov/nasa/lmd/Assessment/Assessments.htm

Self-assessment – rate yourself – handout

Self-AssessmentLeadership Pointers I have done this

and am pretty good at it

I need to work on this

I work well with others to design solutionsI network with others outside of my organization to build external relationshipsI follow-through and am well organizedI want to be a leaderI have confidence in my ability to lead. Others seem to have confidence in meI have skill and training in leadership and managementI am energetic and optimisticI can deal with an array of personalities and do not get discouraged easilyI can see the big pictures and envision how things can fit togetherI know how to deliver constructive critique instead of destructive commentsI believe there is always a better way to do somethingI am willing to take responsibilityI am willing to take a risk to try new ideasWhen I speak, people tend to listenI can describe in words to others what vision I have in mindI know that I am only as powerful as a leader as those who support me in my leadershipI know that humor is important and not to take life so seriously it bogs down the fun in it!I am curious and willing to continue to learnI have a mission statement and purpose in mind for the organizationI can build a persuasive message and deliver itI know how to appropriately recognize others for their contributionsI know how to give feedback to othersI realize that I am only one person and it’s not all about me. It’s about the collective possibilitiesI know that the possibilities are endless.

DeBord, K. (2005). North Carolina Cooperative Extension. North Carolina State University.

Leadership in the past. The best predictor of the future is the past. When I was in business, I took note of any worker who told me he was superintendent of a school or a deacon in his church or a Boy Scout leader. If he showed leadership outside of the job, I wanted to find out if he had some leadership potential on the job.

The capacity to create or catch vision. When I talk to people about the future, I want their eyes to light up. I want them to ask the right questions about what I'm talking about.

The founder of Jefferson Standard built a successful insurance company from scratch. He assembled some of the greatest insurance people by simply asking, "Why don't you come and help me build something great?"

A person who doesn't feel the thrill of challenge is not a potential leader.

A constructive spirit of discontent. Some people would call this criticism, but there's a big difference in being constructively discontent and being critical. If somebody says, "There's got to be a better way to do this," I see if there's leadership potential by asking, "Have you ever thought about what that better way might be?" If he says no, he is being critical, not constructive. But if he says yes, he's challenged by a constructive spirit of discontent. That's the unscratchable itch. It is always in the leader.

People locked in the status quo are not leaders. I ask of a potential leader, Does this person believe there is always a better way to do something?

Practical ideas. Highly original people are often not good leaders because they are unable to judge their output; they need somebody else to say, "This will work" or "This won't."

Brainstorming is not a particularly helpful practice in leadership, because ideas need to stay practical. Not everybody with

practical ideas is a leader, of course, but leaders seem to be able to identify which ideas are practical and which aren't.

A willingness to take responsibility. One night at the end of the second shift, I walked out of the plant and passed the porter. As head of operations, I had started my day at the beginning of the first shift. The porter said, "Mr. Smith, I sure wish I had your pay, but I don't want your worry." He equated responsibility and worry. He wanted to be able to drop his responsibility when he walked out the door and not carry it home. That's understandable, but it's not a trait in potential leaders. I thought about the porter's comment driving home. If the vice-president and the porter were paid the same money, I'd still want to be vice-president. Carrying responsibility doesn't intimidate me, because the joy of accomplishment-the vicarious feeling of contributing to other people-is what leadership is all about.

A completion factor. I might test somebody's commitment by putting him or her on a task force. I'd find a problem that needs solving and assemble a group of people whose normal responsibilities don't include tackling that problem. The person who grabs hold of the problem and won't let go, like a dog with a bone, has leadership potential. This quality is critical in leaders, for there will be times when nothing but one's iron will says, "Keep going." Dale Carnegie used to say, "I know men in the ranks who will not stay in the ranks. Why? Because they have the ability to get things done." In the military, it is called "completed staff work." With potential leaders, when the work comes in, it's complete. The half-cooked meal isn't good enough.

Mental toughness. No one can lead without being criticized or without facing discouragement. A potential leader needs a mental toughness. I don't want a mean leader; I want a tough-minded leader who sees things as they are and will pay the price. Leadership creates a certain separation from one's peers. The separation comes from carrying responsibility that only you can carry. Years ago, I spoke to a group of presidents in Columbus, Ohio, about loneliness in leadership. One participant, president of an architectural firm, came up afterward

and said, "You've solved my problem." "What's your problem?" I asked. "My organization's always confused," he said, "and I didn't know why. It's because I don't like to be lonely; I've got to talk about my ideas to the rest of the company. But they never know which ones will work, so everybody who likes my idea jumps to work on it. Those who don't, work against it. Employees are going backward and forward-when the idea may not even come about at all." Fearing loneliness, this president was not able to keep his ideas to himself until they were better formulated. A leader must be able to keep his or her own counsel until the proper time.

Peer respect. Peer respect doesn't reveal ability, but it can show character and personality. Trammell Crow, one of the world's most successful real estate brokers, said that he looks for people whose associates want them to succeed. He said, "It's tough enough to succeed when everybody wants you to succeed. People who don't want you to succeed are like weights in your running shoes." Maxey Jarmen used to say, "It isn't important that people like you. It's important that they respect you. They may like you but not follow you. If they respect you, they'll follow you, even if perhaps they don't like you."

Family respect. I also look at the family of a potential leader: Do they respect him or her? Fifteen years ago, my daughter said, "Dad, one thing I appreciate is that after you speak and I walk up, you are always attentive to me. You seem proud of me." That meant a lot to me. If respect isn't there, that's also visible. The family's feelings toward someone reveal much about his or her potential to lead.

A quality that makes people listen to them. Potential leaders have a "holding court" quality about them. When they speak, people listen. Other people may talk a great deal, but nobody listens to them. They're making a speech; they're not giving leadership. I take notice of people to whom others listen.