LDP_Emotional Intelligence Why it Matters

Yes, I think I have good people skills, What kind of idiot question is that?

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October 22, 2015

Emotional Intelligence – Why it Matters

Presented at the LDP Meetingby John Henriquez

October 22, 2015

Recommendations

What Leadership is Not…

Introduction to Emotional Intelligence

Personal Growth

Finding our Blind Spots

Agenda


October 22, 2015

Personal Story

Summary

Note: the cartoons used in this presentation have been purchased and are being used with the permission of the artist(s)

Attempting to Lead can be dangerous


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Do you want to be a Leader?

Either lead, follow or get out of the way —But never try to do all three at the same time

What is your motivation?

What is your Motivation?


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Are you ready?“No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern” - Plato

Why do you want to be a Leader?1)Because of Power or Ego?2)Just for the Money?3)or for Personal Growth?

for the benefit of yourself, others and the company?

So, are you ready to Lead?Question: do you have a strong inner striving to be a Leader?

If yes, you are probably not ready You will likely leave a path of destruction

Leadership is not…


October 22, 2015

Leadership is not a “___________”

If we want to succeed as a team, we need to put aside our own selfish, individual interests and

start doing things my way

Dictatorship

Leadership is not…


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Leadership is not about being the one with all the “________”

I’m not lacking leadership skills.Everyone else is lacking followship skills!

Answers

Introduction to Emotional Intelligence


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IQ EQ

Personality

Emotional intelligence is an important facet of each of us

Recent studies show that Emotional Intelligence is…an essential component of all good leaders

Five Components of EI:1) Self Awareness 2) Self Regulation3) Motivation4) Empathy5) Social Skill

Five Components of Emotional Intelligence


October 22, 2015

via Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence”

Definition Hallmarks

Self-Awareness • The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives as well as their effect on others

• Self-confidence• Realistic self-assessment• Self-deprecating sense of humor

Self-Regulation • The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods• The propensity to suspend judgment – to think before acting

• Trustworthiness & integrity• Comfort with ambiguity• Openness to change

Motivation • A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or status• A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence

• Strong drive to achieve• Optimism, even in the face of failure• Organizational commitment

Empathy • The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people• Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions

• Expertise in building & retaining talent• Cross-cultural sensitivity• Service to clients and customers

Social Skill • Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks• An ability to find common ground and build rapport

• Effectiveness in leading change• Persuasiveness• Expertise in building & leading teams

Emotional Intelligence is not fixed, it can be LearnedThis is good news for a lot of us

Consequences Lack of EI


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This is unfortunate but often trueMany companies promote highly technical individuals BUT who lack important EI skills

Managers who lack EI can create…Poor employee moraleHigh employee turnoverReduced employee outputA negative work environment

How come you never bring me any of your stupid ideas anymore?

You take 30 minutes for lunch and you go home at 5:00 every afternoon. At this rate, you’re going

to use up all of your vacation time!

Well, if he really can’t get along with his co-workers, you’re just going to

have to promote him.

Personal Growth: Step 1


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Understanding Our Strengths & Weaknesses:Take a Basic Personality Test (DiSC)Get input from others (360 reviews, mentors)“Know Thyself ” – Plato

We all have areas to improve & grow

Obstacles to finding our Blind Spots:InsecurityEgotism

Benefits of a Mentor / Personal Coach:Everyone needs someone who can be honest with usEveryone needs someone to encourage us and show us what we are doing right

Personal Growth: Step 2


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Identifying our Blind Spots:It requires honestyIt’s good to get input from othersIt can be painfulBe patience with yourselfChange doesn’t happen overnight

True personal growth requires us to identify & correct our blind spots

Personal Story


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Failure can be good; it can teach us some of life’s greatest lessons

My first Project Management Lead Role (1997):It was a disasterI had too much inner strivingI lacked empathy & was too demandingI was very judgmental; I didn’t understand why the others were not as passionate about work as meI wanted so badly for the project to succeed that I micro-managed every detail; to the extent that I encroached into other people’s “space”At the end, nobody wanted to be on my team again So, if people who empower others are

called Leaders, what is the name for those who disempower others?The Team

Before After

Micro-managers!

Personal Story, cont.


October 22, 2015

Discovering our Blind Spots is only the beginningReal / lasting change is hard work; it involves undoing old habits & forming new ones

Discovering my Blind Spot(s)Step 1 I found someone to talk to…An experienced, successful Dept Store executive I told him the story and expected him to side with me, but he didn’tHe asked me one question…how many books have you read about management?

Answer) Uh, none

I Found a Book…“Managing from the Heart”It was perfect for me; it addressed some of my blind spotsHear and Understand Me LISTEN, really listenEven if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong PATIENCEAcknowledge the greatest within me CARINGRemember to look for my loving intentions EMPATHYTell me the truth with compassion COURGAGE / COMPASSION

Summary


October 22, 2015

Emotional Intelligence:It is VitalIt can be LearnedBe patient with yourselfConsider getting a personal Coach

Benefits of a Mentor / Personal Coach:Everyone needs someone who can be honest with usEveryone needs someone to encourage us and show us what we are doing right

It’s your attitude, nor your aptitude that determines your altitude

Emotional Intelligence is not fixed, it can be LearnedWork on it everyday & be patient with yourself

Recommendations


October 22, 2015

Recommended Reading:1.“How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (1936 Classic)

2.“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey

3.“The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” by John Maxwell

4.“Managing from the Heart” by H. Bracey, J. Rosenblum, A. Sanford & R. Trueblood

The Importance of Self-Renewal:1.Adequate Sleep – avg person requires 7-8 hrs/night

2.Exercise – 3 to 5 times a week

3.Proper Diet – eat healthy, find out what works for you

4.Relaxation (i.e. hobby, volunteer work, meditation, etc.)

Remember – life is not a sprint; it is more like a marathon – so pace yourselfHaving the proper Balance in Life is Key (i.e. Work, Family, Play, Friends )

Thank You John Henriquez

Any Questions?


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October 22, 2015

Receipts - Cartoons


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Permission from Daniel Goleman

Examples of Blind Spots:


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Being insensitive - RUDE unaware of the impact of our words and actions on others

Having a “Know-it-All” attitude – PRIDE Blaming others – Lack of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Avoiding difficult conversations - Lack of COURAGE Overly Ambitious – PRIDE / EGO Fear of being wrong – COWARD Procrastination – LAZINESS

EGO


October 22, 2015

LDP_Emotional Intelligence Why it Matters

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Transcript of LDP_Emotional Intelligence Why it Matters