Last Word25 YEARS OF

Not so bad“I’m calling in regard to a comment on Ford’sColony causing traffic problems. I would liketo remind greater Williamsburg that our firstsign of traffic problems came when Kingsmillwas developed and interrupted the steadyflow of traffic for Williamsburg residentsgoing to work on Route 199.”

— Jan. 28, 1987

Looking at junk“I live on Penniman Road. Williamsburg isspending a lot of money on Second Street tobeautify and plant trees, build new sidewalks.And they are probably going to spend a cou-ple hundred thousand dollars. Right behindSecond Street, Penniman Road is starting tolook like a junkyard. I feel ashamed for peo-ple who live on Penniman Road, having todrive by every day and look at junk all over.”Reed Nester, city planning director, said “TheSecond Street landscaping will cost no morethan $40,000. The area the caller mentions isunsightly. It’s something we’re looking into.”

— April 6, 1991

Red roof reaction“I can guarantee to all the environmentallyconscious people of Kingsmill that 99.44% ofthe homeless people in Williamsburg andJames City County wouldn’t be one bit con-cerned about the color of their neighbors’roofs, that is, if they had a decent house tolive in. Get real, Kingsmill. People are livingin the woods, children are starving, oil wellsare burning and causing environmental disas-ter that we have not even begun to realize theeffects of. And you are worried about a redroof peeking through the foliage.”

— April 17, 1991

Adopt-A-Highway“The Adopt-a-Highway Program does a finejob of keeping Williamsburg clean, but there

are still some areas that could use help. Oneof them is the ‘Tourist Rail’ from I-64 toBusch Gardens. Our visitors are frequentlyless than caring about the roadsides along199. The Adopt-a-Highway Program coulduse volunteers for more than one placearound town. If you are looking for fresh airand exercise, check this program out. Yourhometown will look better for it.”

— March 25, 1995

Kingsmill Express “To the Kingsmill resident who is confound-ed by traffic on Route 199 and needs anexpress lane: I have a better idea. Why notbuild a specific highway for Kingsmill resi-dents? It can be called the KOV (KingsmillOccupant Vehicle) road. Better yet, maybe amonorail system or private train to shuttleyou to and from home would help you copewith nuisance traffic. I suspect VDOT is busythis time of year, so why not alert PresidentClinton, since he is a regular Kingsmill visi-tor? I’m sure he too has suffered long enoughwith the hideous traffic. I suspect he’ll get toit right after he gets the national health carelegislation passed.”

— June 3, 1995

Fenced in“My husband and I purchased a home inPoplar Hall with a privacy fence for our dog.I can’t understand people who think theyhave the right to hang over our fence. Oneperson told me that he and his small childwere just looking, if I didn’t mind. OurRottweiler weighs more than 100 pounds andis as tall as an adult when she stands on herhind feet. Our dogs are not in our yard forpeople to bother every time they take a stroll.I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

— May 15, 1996

Red roof“Colonial Williamsburg hasn’t said anythingabout the red roof on the Second StreetMcDonald’s. It is the city ArchitecturalReview Board that is complaining about it. Asfor the split rail fence along Richmond Road,that’s an 18th century fence and is supposedto look the way it does. It is not dilapidated.”

— July 11, 1998

Local real estate“When we were looking for a home inWilliamsburg, our agent took us to the manylarge golfing communities. We purchased ahome and are happy. However, I recentlyattended an open house in a small area calledGraylin Woods and found it delightful. Localagents need to show prospective buyers all theareas available, not just the larger communities.”

— Dec. 22, 2001

Vicious vandalism“On our way to church recently we noticedthat six of the seven stop signs inChickahominy Haven were down. Apparently,the people who did this have not been readingnewspaper articles about the deaths onCenterville Road and Monticello Avenue.Spend more time reading the paper and lesstime vandalizing the neighborhood beforesomeone gets seriously hurt.”

— May 1, 2002

Where the rich live“Regarding the June 5 article ‘Where the veryrich live,’ homeowners in the Vineyards arenow cringing at a monstrous home under con-struction. What a nightmare.”

— June 12, 2002

Suspicious activity“The government should name Williamsburgthe national center for the new TIPS programto fight terrorists, where ordinary citizenswould be trained to snoop on their neighborsand report suspicious activity. Having readmany Last Word items, it is apparent thatWilliamsburg is uniquely qualified to admin-ister this most important project for the sakeof our nation.”

— Aug. 3, 2002

Pick up, please“While leaving my subdivision recently, Iobserved one of my neighbors walking hisdog. He had obviously just scooped up hisdog’s business. I thought, ‘What a responsibledog owner.’ I was appalled to see the sameman throwing what was in the pooper-scoop-er into a vacant lot between two homes.Picking up after your dog means taking ithome with you and disposing of it properly.”

— June 26, 2004

NeighborhoodsLastWord

49 - Twenty-five years of Last Word

Work to be done“On TV sporting events we can get an instantreplay. Why can’t bagels be made a mite thin-ner so we could toast them in our toasters?We can travel several times faster than thespeed of sound. We can add color to blackand white movies; why can’t we outlaw plas-tic bags?”

— Oct. 29, 1988

Happy Easter to you“We wish you a Merry Christmas and aHappy New Year. This greeting comes to youfrom the Procrastinators Club.”

— March 18, 1989

UFOs sighted“I’m calling to see if anybody else saw thethree flying saucers that I spotted offInterstate 64 in the West Point area? While Iwas traveling eastbound on Interstate 64heading toward Williamsburg on Sunday, Oct.22 at about 3 p.m., I heard a loud noise firstbefore I saw the flying saucers. I observedthree of them traveling from south to north

across the interstate several miles ahead ofme, acting in a very erratic manner. Theywere larger than an airplane, oval in shape,appeared to be aluminum-colored and to haveyellow flames protruding from them in threedifferent sections.”

— Oct. 28, 1989

Disclaimer lodged“The members of the Williamsburg MooseLodge and the co-workers of the Women ofthe Moose chapter want it known that thefight that occurred at the Moose Lodge onSaturday, Jan 13, did not, repeat, did notoccur at a Moose-related activity.”

— Jan. 17, 1990

Sky portrait“Strange happenings in the air. I hope a lot ofpeople were looking last week at a cloud overto the west shaped in the image of AbrahamLincoln with his hat off, his long beard andall. It just held there for a long while until alot of us got a good look at it before it brokeup and disappeared.”

— March 14, 1990

More about gays“In reference to your article on gays hangingout at all the family parks, it is my belief thatif there were any real men in theWilliamsburg area there wouldn’t be any gayshanging around there after this weekend.”

— May 7, 1988

Olympics coverage“I’ve been watching the Olympics, especiallythe swimming, and noticed that the swimmerstend to show a lot of teeth. I’m wondering ifthe chlorine in the water shrinks their gums.”

— July 27, 1996

Missing pizza slice“Regarding the item about a missing slicefrom two separate pizzas, some could say thatinstead of increasing prices pizza parlors havedecided to use the marketing technique ofslice reduction. The caller would have usbelieve that it was a random and statisticallyamazing incident. I think the caller shouldlook into how the pizza is delivered. Maybeafter placing the it on the counter and takinga moment to hang up a winter coat, his or herloving spouse or child quickly stole a serving.’”

— Jan. 26, 2002

Festivus“My family and I had hoped that we wouldsee more coverage of Festivus this year.Sadly, as in years past, Christmas, Hanukkahand Kwanzaa. I realized Festivus is still notwidely celebrated, but an acknowledgmentthat it exists would be appreciated in thefuture. Perhaps some readers who celebrateFestivus could comment on this as well.”Our plans for Festivus coverage were can-celed along with “Seinfeld,” which is wherethe fictitious holiday celebration originated.

— Jan. 5, 2000

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LastWord

50 - Twenty-five years of Last Word