1. NLP Business Coaching SeriesThe Language of Influence andPersuasion Introduction to theNLP Milton Model

2. + What is persuasive and influential language?This is the language used by the top people leaders in the world to empower others and helps themto develop themselves.It is the language that creates the least resistance and most agreement when talking to people. Mostof all, it is the language that encourages others to make decisions and come up with their ownsolutions!To be persuasive and influential others have to recognise, and accept you, as an expert. You have toknow what you are talking about, and be in a position to help someone resolve something. You dothis by using language in a way that helps people come up with their own solutions to problems, notby giving them the answers!Persuasive and influential language encourages individuals to find their own skills and resourcesneeded to achieve what ever it is they are required to do.This can be as simple as asking a client when they are going to make a decision rather then if theyare going to make a decision (implying a decision will be made).Or, as complex as, empowering others to believe they are capable of achieving something they arenot sure they can do yet. (Implying that you believe that person has the ability to achieve this, evenalthough they may not believe they can!). 3. + What persuasive and influential language is not?Persuasive and Influential language is not used to force people to do what you want!!Some people want to learn these skills so they can manipulative others into doing things they wantdone. This is not a leadership skill, this is called bullying!!People are not stupid; think of a time when someone tried to persuade you to do something you werenot comfortable with and really didnt want to do. How did that feel? I am guessing you feltuncomfortable and manipulated?Buyers remorse is the biggest cause of cancellations, product returns and clients using products andservices only once. This happens when someone has been persuaded to buy something they did notneed or want by a pushy person.They often said yes to buying a product or service just to to get rid of the sales person. This isbecause they had not yet bought into to what that product or service could do for them. Althoughthey bought something, they will never give that sales person repeat business or recommend them toothers.It is exactly the same situation when leading others. If you are pushy, bullying and manipulativepeople respond once and resist buying in to your future ideas and suggestions. 4. + The importance of using persuasive andinfluential language.Often in business people get promoted to leadership positions because they are fantastic at thespecific job they do. They get put in charge of a team and are sent off to lead people without anytraining in how to to influence and persuade others.Some people are naturally good at influencing and persuading others however, for most people this isa leadership skill that they need to learn.The importance of using influential and persuasive language is, that it creates a culture where peopleare encouraged to take personal responsibility for their actions and come up with their own solutionsin the workplace.This is achieved by talking to others in ways that help them to think about what they have to do, toachieve a desired outcome, rather than telling them directly, what to do.Speaking to people in this way can take longer and more require more effort than just telling themwhat to do.However, ultimately this saves time and money as your people develop and create a culture ofpersonal responsibility and great working relationships between their work colleagues and clients. 5. + The way naturally delete, distort and generaliseinformationInside our mind (our internal world) we storememories, experiences and knowledge based on thethings that happen in our life.When we receive information into our mind wenaturally delete, distort and generalise thisinformation depending on were our focus is.We all perceive the world around us differently andthis perception is sometimes known as our map ofthe world.When we speak to others again we naturally delete,distort and generalise what we say.This is best demonstrated by the way that someonewho attends a two-hour meeting is able to give you anoverview of that meeting in only ten minutes!!Take the the example of someone attending ameeting and telling people about this. The morepeople this information passes through, the more ofwhat actually happened in the meeting gets changed! 6. + The NLP Milton Model the most powerfullanguage tool to influence and persuade othersThe Milton Model was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder (the co-founders of NeuroLinguistic Programming) from the work they did modeling the language patterns of Milton Erickson.Milton Erickson was a hypnotherapist who achieved amazing results with his patients. Bandler andGrinder where able to establish (by modeling how Milton Erikson spoke to his patients) that thelanguage patterns he used worked so well, because they were intentionally ambiguous.Milton worked on the assumption that people already know how to solve their problems. He gave hispatients deliberate, ambiguous suggestions that encouraged them to access their own resources andfind their own answers to their problems.The Milton Model is a way of using language when speaking to someone where you deliberatelydelete, distort and generalise what you say to someone so that they have to fill in what is missingfrom their internal worldIt is the art of being ambiguously specific!! 7. + Milton Model in action - the scenarioA sales manager has a team member, who usually overachieves their target by 5%. Thisperson has just been given their new target for the year. This year their target has beenincreased by 11% instead of the usual 8%. This person is now struggling to imagine achievingthis new target.The information above tells you.That there is a sales personThey usually overachieve their target by 5%They have received a new targetTheir annual target is usually increased by 8%This year the target has been increased by 3% more than it normally is.They are struggling to imagine how they will achieve this new target.The elegant use of Milton Model language by leaders to influence and persuade othersdepends on giving people suggestions ONLY from the facts you have. 8. + Trying to influence and persuade without usingMilton Model languageOften people who lead others think the can persuade people to do something by providing them withsolutions, based on what works for them.For example our sales manager, trying to persuade and influence this person, could say.To get your target, you can start work an hour earlier, at 8 instead of 9 and make 30 calls a dayinstead of 20. That will get you more appointments to get you in front of your customers. The morecustomers you see the more sales you will get. This should help you achieve your 11% increasedtarget.The problem with talking like this, to someone who is already struggling to even think about achievingtheir target, is that you have only given them a strategy of things to do (normally based on what hasworked for YOU in the past). These are tasks and things to do in the outside worldYou have not addressed how they are thinking about the situation in their own head, what we calltheir inside world 9. + Influencing and persuading by using MiltonModel languageWhen language is consciously structured to be deliberately ambiguous, vague and free from specifics,it becomes much more persuasive. We are constantly being given suggestions from others in theadvice they give us.Using Milton model language is the art of giving people suggestions in such a way that they accesstheir own inner resources and come up with their own ways to do something. Simply put - helpingthem to think about how they will do something.In this example - our sales manager using the Milton model language style could say:I know that youll find the best way for you to achieve your target as you have all the experience thatyou need to achieve it. This is not the first time that your targets have changed is it? In fact manytimes you have overachieved what was required from you. Think back now to how you did this andyou will find the best way to make it happen. Wont you? 10. + Unpicking Milton Model languageMilton model language only really works when spoken. Go back and read the last paragraph on theprevious slide and and this time read it aloud.Notice what words you are emphasizing as voice tone is important in using this language style. If youwant learn how powerful using language in this way can be, change the words you emphasize andnotice how the meaning of what you are saying changes. (A wee note here; this works for everythingyou say whether you are conscious of doing it or not!)Milton model is the style of language that is used by hypnotists, adversisers, astrologers, politiciansand people that are good at influencing and persuading othersIt is using language in a way that says nothing specific however, for some reason, it just makes senseto you when you hear it!! The Milton model is made up of a series of different language terms suchas comparisons, mind-reads, commands, questions etcSo now lets unpick this paragraph and see what it contains! 11. + Mind-read comparisonI know that youll find the best way for you to achieve your target ..I know in this case is a mind-read because in reality you cannot possibly know what will be the specificbest way they will choose.The word best is a comparison because it suggests compared to what?By using the phrase I know youll find the best way.. you are in effect suggesting to that person, that theyhave different ways of doing something, and will choose the best way.They will make these comparisons based on their own experience, knowledge and beliefs. In other wordsfrom their own internal world. 12. + Linking word mind read..as you have all the experience that you need to achieve it.Adding the linking word as joins up the two phrases best way to achieve your target and you have allthe experience you needLinking these two phrases together becomes a powerful suggestion because you are saying they will dosomething then adding they have the resources to do it...you have all the experience that you need to achieve it is another mind-read.You may think they have all the experience, but by giving no specific examples, that person will have tothink about what specific experience they have. Because this comes from their internal world theycould be thinking about totally different examples to the ones to you are thinking!! 13. + Presuppositions the number order - first,second, third etcThis is not the first time that your targets have changed..By saying this is not the first time your targets have changed. you are presupposing or assumingthat there have been other times in that past that their targets have changed.Although we know this is a fact, by reminding them that this is not the first time, you are helpingthat person experience, in their inner world that they already have the resources to deal with targetchange.This helps them move out of the struggle they are having imagining achieving the new target.Notice there is no mention of the specific % increase. The moment you speak about exact numbersyou move from ambiguous language to specific language.Milton Model language is all about being ambiguous so that someone has to go into their innerworld to get their own examples of what they have achieved in the past. 14. + Tag questions..is it? is a tag question this is a short question that you tag on to something you have said tosomeone that they will unconsciously agree with.When you add a tag question, look straight at the person you are speaking with and give a quickhead nod and notice what happens.Often you will see that person nod their head back to you.This is an unconscious signal that they are in agreement with what has just been said! 15. + Give a fact they recognise as trueIn fact many times you have overachieved what was required from you.Stating a true fact is a powerful way of boosting someone's confidence because it reminds them ofthe things they have already done.In this case they have not only achieved what was required of them once, they have OVER achievedthis many times.A subtle emphasis on how you say many times and over makes this suggestion even morepowerful. 16. + Command linking word - comparison tagquestionThink back now to how you did this, and you will find the best way to make it happen. Wontyou?Think back now.. by adding a downward inflection to your voice as you say the word now turnsthis statement into a command to go and search back in their past for something and to do it now.to how you did this. Using the word did suggests that they have already done this before in thepast and only have to remember what it was they did.and is the linking word here that links to the outcomeyou will find the best way.. is again suggesting they compare the way they could do this and choosethe best way to make it happen..wont you? is finishing off with another tag question. 17. + RoundupPersuading and Influencing others is a complex and elegant leadership skill.I trust that you have found this introduction to the use of the Milton Model useful.Using language in a consciously ambiguous way, lets you help people access there own resources. Asa business leader this encourages others to take personal responsibility for their own actions anddevelopment.Becoming an expert influencer and persuader is achieved by life long learning. This meanscontinuing to attend training courses, on-line education and master-classes, watching videos andreading booksHave a look at my Enhancing Communication for Business Leaders e-book series on Amazon, and myNLP Business Practitioner and Leadership Development training courses.Some of the other expert authors on the NLP Milton Model are Dr Richard Bandler, Sue Knight, MattCaulfield and Joseph OConnorMastering the use of the Milton Model help you influence and persuade just about everyone youcome in contact with. 18. +Fiona Campbell is an Executive Coachand Licensed NLP Business Coachtrainer for the Society of NLP.To find out how Fiona can help you oryour businessCheck out her LinkedIn Profile