Hidden Disabilities 101:

Tips and tools for including children with Hidden Disabilities and their families at church

Katie Wetherbee, M.A.Stephen Grcevich, M.D.

Prepared for Redeemer Presbyterian ChurchNew York, NY

©Key Ministry

Objectives

Participants will• Define Hidden Disabilities• Discuss effects of HD on church involvement• Identify God’s design for HD ministry• List practical strategies for welcoming and teaching

children with HD• Summarize challenges that parents of kids with HD face• Practice planning for students using case studies

Know-Wonder-Learn

What do we KNOW?

What do we WONDER?

What did we LEARN?

What are Hidden Disabilities?

A hidden disability (HD) is a serious emotional, behavioral, developmental or neurological disorder with no outwardly apparent symptoms

Examples of Hidden Disabilities:

Autism, autistic spectrum disordersDevelopmental disabilities Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)Learning disabilitiesAnxiety disordersMood disorders (depression, bipolar disorder)Attachment disorders (common among adopted, foster children)Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE)Brain injury: resulting from trauma, epilepsy, stroke

Stephen Grcevich, MD, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

“Rethinking” disability and church

An individual with a disability is defined as a person who has a mental or physical impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, a record of such impairment, or is regarded as having such an impairment.

Taken from www.joniandfriends.org

“Rethinking” disability and church

If a mental or physical impairment substantially limits a person’s ability to actively pursue spiritual growth and fully participate in the ministry of a local church, is that person “disabled?”

The Ultimate Low-Hanging Fruit for Evangelism, Outreach?

9% of U.S. kids ages 6-17 have received Rx for ADHD meds 1/91 kids born in 2008 will be diagnosed with autism Prevalence of anxiety disorders among U.S. youth: 8-20%12-20% of school age population needs mental health treatmentWhat about siblings who don’t get to experience church? Who equips parents to shepherd their kids in the faith?

Key Ministry estimate: families of children with HD at least 50% less likely to be involved with a local church

Report of the Surgeon General of the United States, 1999

What barriers keep families of kids with hidden disabilities from coming to Christ or growing in faith?

How do HDs pose barriers to church participation, spiritual growth?:

Difficulties with self-regulation: sitting through worship service, arriving on time, practicing spiritual disciplines

Developmentally inappropriate inattention: difficulty with didactic teaching, distracted while praying, reading BibleLack of ability to accurately perceive social cues: don’t “fit in” with middle, high school groups, feel rejected by peers, view Christians as hypocritesAbnormal responses to sensory input, stimulation: volume of music, brightness of lights, bold color, physical contact experienced as aversive

How do HDs pose barriers to church participation?:

Restricted pattern of interests or behavior: lack interest in group participation, rigidMisperception of danger level, embarrassment risk: visiting church for first time is intimidating, avoid groups apprehensive about new experiences… mission trips, retreats, self-disclosure distressingDifficulty with learning/communication: child or adult with dyslexia asked to read aloud from the Bible

How do HDs pose barriers to church participation?:

Disproportionate fear, physiologic response to stress: crowded lobbies or worship auditorium, separation from parentsDifficulty with transition, change: interactions with unfamiliar people, transitions from one ministry team to anotherInappropriate affect: child laughs, expresses indifference at a sad story, irritated when greeted by others

Why is church so hard for kids with Hidden Disabilities?

• Expectations for kids to sit for extended periods• Leaders of church-based educational programs don’t

have training or experience in working with kids with disabilities

• Environment often less structured, more noisy than school

• Lots of youth activities occur at times when medication has worn off or rebound is occurring

• Parents sometimes choose not to use effective medication on weekends

More HD issues related to church

• Kids may obsess about rituals and rules• New situations/pressure to “share feelings”

can be anxiety producing• Church can be unpredictable, loud and

unstructured• Faith is INTANGIBLE; difficult for kids who are

concrete thinkers

What about the parents?(The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!)

50% of kids with ADHD have persistent impairment as adults…77% of ADHD cases attributed to geneticsHeritability of anxiety disorders: 40-80%More likely to be divorced or never marriedIf untreated, they’re more likely to have experienced a substance use disorder

Barriers for Parents:

Parents fear being judged within the Christian communityParents become tired of having to manage their child’s behavior—and explain it to others in new settingsSocial isolation is often the norm; families affected by hidden disabilities are less likely to be invited to churchStress, economic strain and fatigue commonMore likely to stay home on Sunday

Needs of kidsParents equipped to shepherd them in their faithTo learn about God and the love He has for all of us through His son, Jesus ChristThe opportunity to serve others…to use and develop their gifts Connecting with other Christians as a positive experience “The best hour of the week”To experience other Christians (adults and peers) acting and speaking in accordance with professed beliefsAcceptance

Needs of parents

A church willing to partner with parents in equipping them to be the primary faith trainer for all of their childrenExperience opportunities to grow in their faith unencumbered by immediate care demands of their child (worship, small groups, service) RespiteCommunityAcceptance

What do I hope will happen today?

God will use this experience equip you to more effectively minister to families of kids with HD already in your churchYou’ll take away strategies to reach and welcome a large segment of families in your community who aren’t connected to a churchYou’ll consider how to include more families impacted by HDs into your existing programmingYour church will increase its’ commitment to a region-wide project to reach families of children, youth with special needs through a “rolling respite network” http://www.freerespite.com

What does God have to say about this?

• Make disciples of all people (Matthew 28:19-20)

• Share the hope of the Gospel and serve those who are broken (Luke 4:18-19, Matthew 25:40)

• The church is incomplete without the gifts of all (1 Corinthians 12:14-31)

• He will get the glory! (John 9:1-3)

SO…now what?

• Key ways to make Sunday morning successful for all kids:– Set the table…(How can I prepare?)– Meat –n--potatoes (What do I want my students

to learn?)– Be Rachel Ray (How can I model “best practices”

for those around me?)– Party hearty! (What successes can I celebrate and

share?)

Welcome!

• Respond quickly and without judgment to parents of kids having difficulty

• Train greeters to alert appropriate staff/volunteers• Ministry leader in place with appropriate means of

communication• Create a quiet place to meet with parent, child• Offer the parent the option of attending worship or staying

with their child at first visit• Contact the family after their first visit• Implement a plan to serve the child by the following week

that is agreeable to the parent

Ministry Intake:

• Not an event, but a process: relationship- building• Not all families will self-identify• Handling referrals from a Sunday School teacher• Reassure parents that their child isn’t being labeled• Maintain communication with parents• Update information yearly on intake forms

Practical Strategies

• Behavior management• Planning and collaborating with teachers• Social Stories• Scheduling• Finding that “just right” fit• Identify—and use--each child’s gifts• Identify—and use—each volunteer’s gifts

The “key” point of the lesson?

Jesus loves me, this I know…for the Bible tells me so.

Parents have special needs, too

• What does God say about Sundays?• What have the last 6 days been like for

parents?

What does the Bible say about working with parents?

• 1 Corinthians 12:14-31~ We need them in the body

• Romans 12:11-17~ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep…

• 1 Peter 3:8~ Unity, love of each other, sympathy, humble mind

• 1 Corinthians 8:1b-3~ “Knowledge puffs up; but love builds up.”

Know-Wonder-Learn

What do we KNOW?

What do we WONDER?

What did we LEARN?

Experience needed: NONE; but a willingness to learn and an ability to love kids is essential

Hours: Sunday mornings, weekly prep time

Benefits: Your salary will be kept in a safe, fully secure location, where it cannot be stolen. It will remain free of moths and undamaged by rust.

….You can pick it up when you get home

HELP WANTED: Sunday School teachers with a heart for kids with Hidden Disabilities

Key Ministry: How Can We Serve You?

Key Ministry: www.keyministry.org provides resources to churches free of charge:

Best Practices Resource Kit “Key Ring Binder”Web-based resources (Blogs, Twitter, Facebook)Opportunities to network with other churchesPhone consultationOn-site consultation, trainingCelebrating your successes Local and National conferencesPraying for you

Please Stay in Touch!

Key Ministry FoundationRebecca Hamilton, Executive Director

8401 Chagrin Road, Suite 14BChagrin Falls OH 44023Phone: 440/708-4488

rebecca@keyministry.orgkatie@keyministry.orgwww.keyministry.org