Kenneth Wapnick - OPENING THE “CLOSED” DOOR OF HEAVEN

8/13/2019 Kenneth Wapnick - OPENING THE CLOSED DOOR OF HEAVEN

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Volume 17 Number 4 December 2006

OPENING THE CLOSED DOOR OF HEAVEN

K e n n e t h W a p n i c k , P h .D .

IntroductionFranz Kafka, the highly influential German (though born in Prague) writer of

the early twentieth century, reflected modern mans sense of despairinghopelessness in an absurd and meaningless world. One of his more famous piecesis the allegory Before the Law from The Trial. It tells of a man who stands beforethe Law, a symbol that can stand for truth or God, the ultimate happiness that isthe mans goal. A doorkeeper bars the way and the man waits a lifetime to enter,growing old and senile as his eyes dim and begin to shut:

But in the darkness he can now perceive a radiance that streams inextinguishably from

the door of the Law. Now his life is drawing to a close. Before he dies, all that he has

experienced during the whole time of his sojourn condenses in his mind into one question,which he has never put to the doorkeeper. ... Everyone strives to attain the Law, ... how does

it come about, then, that in all these years no one has come seeking admittance but me? The

doorkeeper perceives that the man is nearing his end and his hearing is failing, so he bellows

in his ear: No one but you could gain admittance through this door, since this door was

intended for you. I am now going to shut it.

Franz Kafkas paranoid fantasy is everyones fear hope here is futilewhichexplains the great fascination his work has enjoyed for almost a century. All of us,albeit unconsciously, know whereof he speaks, for we recognize our utter

helplessness in living in a dry and dusty world, where starved and thirsty creaturescome to die (W-plI. 13.5:1), a world in which there is no possibility for meaningfulchange or happiness:

Perhaps you think you find a hope of satisfaction there. Perhaps you fancy to attain

some peace and satisfaction in the world as you perceive it. Yet it must be evident the

outcome does not change. Despite your hopes and fancies, always does despair result. And

there is no exception, nor will there ever be (T-25.II.1:2-6). All its [the worlds] roads but lead

to disappointment, nothingness and death. ... Be not deceived by all the different names its

roads are given. They have but one end. ... On some you travel gaily for a while, before the

bleakness enters. And on some the thorns are felt at once. The choice is not what will the

ending be, but when it comes (T-31.IV.2:3,7-8,12-14).

But where does this bleak despair have its source, and why do we persist inbelieving its patent lies of punishment and death?

Closing the Door

One of the axiomatic statements ofA Course in Miraclesis that guilt (or sin)demands punishment (see, e.g., T-19.II.1:6; III.2). Since we believe we excludedGod from our kingdom (sin), we must believe He will exclude us from His(punishment).The conclusion of the Adam and Eve story in the third chapter of

Genesis, the Western worlds greatest myth, powerfully portrays the terrifyingthought at the core of every persons consciousness. As punishment for theirdisobedience, the Lord God inflicts pain, suffering, and death upon the worlds firsttwo sinners, and as if that were not enough, His vengeful response ensures theywill be forever barred from returning to Paradise:


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He banished the man, and in front of the garden of Eden he posted the cherubs, and

the flame of a flashing sword, to guard the way to the tree of life (Genesis 3:24).

Since a loving Father could never think, let alone behave in such an atrociousmanner, the Sons horrid fate can only be the projection of his secret guilt over theoriginal attack on the Oneness of God and Christ, His true Son:

The world was made as an attack on God. It symbolizes fear. And what is fear except

loves absence? Thus the world was meant to be a place where God could enter not, andwhere His Son could be apart from Him (W-pII.3.2:1-4).

We,therefore, are the ones who barred God from our special home in thebody, closing the door forever to His entry. However, projecting our guilt, it nowappears that God has barred us, preventing us from ever finding our way back toHim. Yet, although we can deny our wearying hopelessness, we will never removeits presence as long as our guilt is projected from the mind to the body and itsworld.

In our individual experience, this principle of guilt demanding punishment isexpressed in the belief that we do not deserve love or happiness. Unaware of theontological substratum of our self-hatred, we experience only the frustration of alife of self-sabotage on our health, relationships, jobs, and possessions. Even whenour lives appear to work for us according to the worlds criteria for success, agnawing sense of unworthiness remains, nourished by the egos fourth law ofchaos:

... you have what you have taken. By this, anothers loss becomes your gain... (T-

23.II.9:3-4).

If we have something of value, it can only be, the ego whispers menacingly inour ears, because we have taken it from someone else. This thought is a shadowy

fragment of the horrifying memory of our original sin of selfishly seizing from Godthe Son who was rightfully His. As we read in the manual for teachers, eachthought or act of selfishnesstermed magic thoughtsreminds us of our originalguilt and the inevitable punishment we deserve at the hands of a God who willnever forget our sin against Him:

They can but reawaken sleeping guilt, which you have hidden but have not let go. Each

one says clearly to your frightened mind, You have usurped the place of God. Think not He

has forgotten (M-17.7:2-4).

And so we walk this earth, uncertain, lonely, and in constant fear (T-31.VIII.7:1), seeking to defend ourselves against Gods wrath by shifting the sin

onto others, thereby trading their innocence for our guilt. Jesus exposes the puerileinsanity of such defenses, however universal they might be:

The world but demonstrates an ancient truth; you will believe that others do to you

exactly what you think you did to them. But once deluded into blaming them you will not see

the cause of what they do, because you wantthe guilt to rest on them. How childish is the

petulant device to keep your innocence by pushing guilt outside yourself, but never letting

go! (T-27.VIII.8:1-3)

Yet this tactic fools no one but ourselves, and therein lies the core of theproblem: we can never undo a problem we believe is external to us. Thus, as long

as we perceive the problem of guilt to be in another instead of in our minds, theunforgiveness of this self-hatred precludes our ever accepting responsibility for ourmiserable plight, the precondition for true forgiveness and the undoing of guilt. Wethus will not recognize that the minds decision for the egos thought system of guiltis the problem, not what the projections of this guilt tell us is the sin of someone


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else. As we read in the workbook:

An unforgiving thought is one which makes a judgment that it will not raise to doubt,

although it is not true. The mind is closed, and will not be released. The thought protects

projection, tightening its chains, so that distortions are more veiled and more obscure; less

easily accessible to doubt, and further kept from reason. What can come between a fixed

projection and the aim that it has chosen as its wanted goal? (W-pII.1.2)

Therefore, if we have projected, it is because we wanted to: our wantedgoal. After all, it is ourdream, and so if we experience something, we must havedesired it and its inevitable outcome of conflict and dis-ease. This is the meaning ofthe following passage from the text:

I am responsible for what I see.

I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.

And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked (T-

21.II.2:3-5).

This has been frequently misunderstood by students ofA Course in Miracles

to mean that we are responsible for everything our eyes see. Yet Jesus oftenreminds us that eyes do not see (e.g., T-28.VI.2:1; W-pI.92.1). When the Coursespeaks of seeingorperceiving, it refers to the minds interpretation of the sensorydata our eyes report. In other words, we need to understand the purpose for ourreactions, which is either to awaken us from the egos dream of separation, or toroot us in it still further through reinforcing the belief that the world is real and canaffect our inner peace. Over a century ago in The Interpretation of Dreams,Sigmund Freud spoke of dreams as being wish-fulfillments. Jesus expands on thisnotion by teaching us that our separating experiences in this world sleeping andwakingfulfill the basic ego wish:

Perception seems to teach you what you see. Yet it but witnesses to what you taught.It is the outward picture of a wish; an image that you wanted to be true (T-24.VII.8:8-10).

This wish is to keep the separation we stole, but not to be held responsiblefor it. When we thus project our first and secret dream of victimizationthat we arethe murdering thievesit gives rise to the projected worlds dream of our beingstolen from and murdered:

The dreaming of the world is but a part of your own dream you gave away. ... Yet was

it started by your secret dream, which you do not perceive although it caused the part you

see and do not doubt is real. How could you doubt it while you lie asleep, and dream in

secret that its cause is real?A brother separated from yourself, an ancient enemy, a murderer who stalks you in the

night and plots your death, yet plans that it be lingering and slow; of this you dream. Yet

underneath this dream is yet another, in which you become the murderer, the secret enemy,

the scavenger and the destroyer of your brother and the world alike (T-27.VII.11:6-12:2).

In other words, we wantto feel banished from Heaven, with the door foreverclosed to our return. And this desirethe source of all sufferingis the problem,not the perceived banishment. Many years ago I was seeing a young man intherapy. When his girlfriend of several years, with whom he was madly in love,

broke up with him, he was devastated. Week after week he would bemoan hispainful fate, until one day while replaying the hurt of the relationships end, hedescribed his pain as exquisite. That broke the log jam of self-indulged vic-timization, and he was able finally to let the girl go and resume his life. Indeed, hewas quite right. His pain was exquisite in its pristine attraction. As long as he was


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able to attribute his suffering to his girlfriends decision, his ego was safe, hidingthe minds insane decision for a life of suffering behind the hurt and anger of a lostexternal love. All the while, the minds guilt over itsdecision to separate from lovelay unknown and therefore uncorrected.

The question remains, however, why would we ever want to feel so terrible?Why not simply open our eyes from the nightmare and return to the home wenever left? After all, we remain at home in God, though we dream of exile (T-10.I.2:1). The wrong-minded answer is totally illogical exceptfrom the perspectiveof the ego, which is the part of our separated mind that likes being separatedspecial, unique, autonomous, and free. This part knows that if the minds decisionmaker recognizes its mistake and chooses again, the individual self will disappearinto its own nothingness. And so it conceives an ingenious strategy of convincingthe decision-making Sonanother part of the split mindthat God will punish thesin against him. The mind, then, becomes a battleground. If he does not escapefrom it, his terrible fate will be sealed. Thus it is that Gods Sonall of usleavesthe mind and enters the world of the mindless: the physical universe of time,space, and separated bodies.

The egos secret wish is now understandable: It convinces the Son that hecan keep his separated self but avoid Gods wrath by splitting off his sin andprojecting it onto others. And so the inner world of sin, guilt, and fear is projectedout, but now the sin and guilt belong to another, while the fear remains with us,attributed to external causes. Thus do we retain our separated state, but with noresponsibility for it, nor for the pain and suffering that inevitably accompany thisself.

Therefore how could we not feel guilty since not only do we accuse ourselvesof the sin of selfishly abandoning and then destroying Heaven so we could existatGods expensebut this selfishness is compounded by our then falsely attackingothers for oursin. We live as bodies, desperately seeking to offset our guilt in thesearch for the homes of special love and hate relationships that the ego tells uswould bring peace and comfort; yet we never find safety there, for our unconsciousguilt precludes our ever finding the key that would unlock the closed door ofHeaven. We read in Lesson 182 of this underlying experience of doomed pursuit forwhat we shall never find:

We speak today for everyone who walks this world, for he is not at home. He goes

uncertainly about in endless search, seeking in darkness what he cannot find; not recognizing

what it is he seeks. A thousand homes he makes, yet none contents his restless mind. He does

not understand he builds in vain. The home he seeks can not be made by him. There is nosubstitute for Heaven. All he ever made was hell (W-pI.182.3).

Finally, collapsing with the exhaustion of a life spent in futility, searching forthe open door that will take us home, we call out for the help that is beyond ourlittle reach and limited understanding. Jesus response heralds our return to sanityand love.

Opening the Door

Jesus answer to our call is to unlock the closed doors of perception, lifting the

veil that blinded us to the true problem and its solution. He teaches how theparanoid world of punishment and exclusion is a projection of a thought system ofseparation we have established as real in our minds:

Projection makes perception. The world you see is what you gave it, nothing more

than that. ... Therefore, to you it is important. It is the witness to your state of mind, the


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outside picture of an inward condition. As a man thinketh, so does he perceive. Therefore,

seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world (T-21.in.1:1-

2,4-7).

Jesus helps us recognize that when we accuse another, even Another, ofseparating us from Heavens peace, it must be that we are secretly accusingourselves of this self-same sin, magically hoping we can be free of its wretched

stain. Moreover, we expect that God Himself will be taken in by this subterfuge andwill see the blood stains of sin on the objects of our projection, and thus punishthem instead of us:

Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated or in need of

anything, you but accuse your brother of attack upon Gods Son. You hold a picture of your

crucifixion before his eyes, that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and

death, and go before him, closing off the gate and damning him to hell (T-27.I.3:1-2).

How sad for us to be so blind to loves truth and to our happiness! The pain ofresisting love is immeasurable, and were we to remember its illusory cause, itsundoing would be instantaneous. Thus Jesus patiently explains to us the origin ofour distress, the cause of our belief that Heavens door is forever closed to us, notto mention our concomitant feelings of personal despair: all suffering originateswith the belief we have separated from God, reinforced by separating from eachother in the hope that our happiness, if not salvation, comes at anothers expense(the aforementioned fourth law of chaos). Since pains undoing can lie only inreconnecting with those we believe we have attacked and hurt, to open Heavensgate we must bring all our brothers, without exception.This is the answer to ourexclusionof God, Christ, and our already separated and fragmented brothers:

Christ is at Gods altar, waiting to welcome His Son. But come wholly without

condemnation, for otherwise you will believe that the door is barred and you cannot enter.

The door is not barred, and it is impossible that you cannot enter the place where God would

have you be. But love yourself with the Love of Christ, for so does your Father love you. You

can refuse to enter, but you cannot bar the door that Christ holds open. Come unto me who

hold it open for you, for while I live it cannot be shut, and I live forever. God is my life and

yours, and nothing is denied by God to His Son (T-11.IV.6).

Journeying with Jesus, we learn we have merely been mistaken. That is all.The third law of chaos to the contrary (T-23.II.5-6), the Will of God is not that webe banned from His Love as punishment for our sin of separation. Indeed, that iswhat we need to forgive him for: . it was not His Will that [we] be crucified (T-24.

III.8:13). Our choosing forgivenessour special function on earthundoes the guiltthat held the insanity of Gods wrath in place. With it gone, so too are the locks andbolts that barred the way to Heaven, keeping the door seemingly shut forever.

Your special function opens wide the door beyond which is the memory of His Love

kept perfectly intact and undefiled. And all you need to do is but to wish that Heaven be

given you instead of hell, and every bolt and barrier that seems to hold the door securely

barred and locked will merely fall away and disappear. For it is not your Fathers Will that you

should offer or receive less than He gave, when He created you in perfect love (T-26.II.8:4-6).

Therefore, in order to pass through the door, we must go together, or not at

all (T-19.IV-D.12:8). Helen Schucman, scribe ofA Course in Miracles, had arecurring vision in which she saw herself, bedecked in white, standing by Heavensgate to welcome all who passed through: In the Name of Christ, pass through thisgate in peace. Christs Name is that of perfect oneness and wholeness, and thus allmust pass through this gate, or none of us does. As Jesus says in the stirring


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conclusion to the text:

My brothers in salvation, do not fail to hear my voice and listen to my words. I ask for

nothing but your own release. There is no place for hell within a world whose loveliness can

yet be so intense and so inclusive it is but a step from there to Heaven. To your tired eyes I

bring a vision of a different world, so new and clean and fresh you will forget the pain and

sorrow that you saw before. Yet this a vision is which you must share with everyone you see,

for otherwise you will behold it not(T-31.VIII.8:1-5; italics mine).The end of this paragraph provides the right-minded correction of the stern

doorkeepers closing lines in Kafkas above-quoted Beyond the Law: No one butyou could gain admittance through this door, since this door was intended for you. Iam now going to shut it. Here are Jesus comforting words that mark the end ofthe egos rule of guilt, projection, and death:

To give this gift is how to make it yours. And God ordained, in loving kindness, that it

be for you (T-31.VIII.8:6-7).

Easier said than done, however, since the egos fear of annihilation remains

our own. Therefore, we need to practice forgiveness with great vigilance.Allourrelationships are part of the classroom in which Jesus instructs us: our obviousspecial relationships with family, friends, and colleagues; but our relationships withpublic or seemingly inconsequential figures as well. Whenever we find ourselvesfilled with grievances of any kindslight twinges of annoyance or intense fury (W-pI.21.2:5)that is the time to remember our goal to awaken from the egos dreamand return home. With this uppermost in our minds, we recall that we cannot passthrough Heavens door without allpeople coming with us. At this point the decisionto let go of thoughts of judgment and attack is easy, and Jesus vision of lovewithout exception becomes our own. We hear his gentle voice remind us thatregardless of the horrifying despair of our nightmares of separation andpunishment, nothing has changed Gods Love: not one note in Heavens song wasmissed (T-26.V.5:4). It was only in dreams that Heavens door was closed to us,but as our eyes slowly open to the truth, the dream of guilt and attack fades; itsplace taken by the remembrance of Gods non-exclusive Love that has neverceased to welcome us. Forgiveness role is now complete as all barriers toapproaching Heavens gate have been gently dissolved in the calm and healing lightof truth.

To recap, guilt over our belief in separate interestsis the problem of theclosed door, which is undone through practicing Jesus lessons of shared intereststhe answer that opens the way to God. We have brought the illusions of ourdelusional thinking to the Holy Spirits truth, accepting responsibility for ourmistaken choice for the ego, which is now corrected by His gentleness. The door toHeaven, closed by guilt, swings open as love fills our minds with its healing light:

... keep no source of interference from His sight, for He will not attack your sentinels.

But bring them to Him and let His gentleness teach you that, in the light, they are not fearful,

and cannot serve to guard the dark doors behind which nothing at all is carefully concealed.

We must open all doors and let the light come streaming through. There are no hidden

chambers in Gods temple. Its gates are open wide to greet His Son. No one can fail to come

where God has called him, if he close not the door himself upon his Fathers welcome (T-

14.VI.8:3-8).

Returning Home

Now that the doorway home has reopened, we happily awaken from the


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nightmare world of guilt and punishment. God was never angry, nor did we eversin. Our inner world has always been lit by love, and the clouds of guilt that seemedto cast us into bottomless pits of dark despair had no effect on our reality:

Angels light the way, so that all darkness vanishes, and you are standing in a light so

bright and clear that you can understand all things you see (W-pI.131.13:2).

Thus does Jesus encourage us on our journey home, confident we will achieve

our goal, for we have understood we do not walk alone: all the Sonship walks withus, and we gladly give thanks for the light that has returned from beyond the doorto welcome our joyous homecoming:

We cannot fail today. There walks with us the [Holy] Spirit Heaven sent us, that we

might approach this door some day, and through His aid slip effortlessly past it, to the light.

Today that day has come. Today God keeps His ancient promise to His holy Son, as does His

Son remember his to Him. This is a day of gladness, for we come to the appointed time and

place where we will find the goal of all our searching here, and all the seeking of the world,

which end together as we pass beyond the door (Adapted from W-pI.131.14).

The door is open and we have come. We have come at last! (adaptedfrom T-26.IX.8:8).

Kenneth Wapnick - OPENING THE “CLOSED” DOOR OF HEAVEN

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