Just too much:
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Transcript of Just too much:
Just too much:
Avoiding Wordiness
in Writing
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Effective writing
Effective writing is concise, with no unnecessary words. Effective writing is NOT WORDY.
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Effective writing
The term “wordy” refers to writing with unnecessary words.
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Wordy = too much
Wordy writing is like wearing too much, trying a little too hard
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Wordy writing takes too long to reach the point.
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How to be really, really wordy
You too can write badly!!! Bore your readers!!
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Seriously….(a disclaimer)
• You do not want to create wordy writing…you want to be concise.
• The “Steps” in this presentation are used humorously…look for the word “seriously” after each step to find serious writing advice.
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How to be WORDYStep #1 ...Dull, wordy writing uses
the following:
I think that I believe that I feel that In my opinion It is my belief that It is my opinion that
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You already own it!Seriously, never use
“I think”“I feel” “I believe”“In my opinion”
in your writing.
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You already own it! If your name is on the paper,
readers know to expect your thoughts, opinions, and ideas.
I think cats make the worst pets. (wordy)
Cats make the worst pets. (concise)
In my opinion, caller I.D. is an invasion of privacy. (wordy) Caller I.D. is an invasion of privacy. (concise)
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How to be WORDYStep #2 …Bore readers
with wishy-washy & useless adjectives
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Wishy-washy adjectives
kind ofsort oftype ofspecific reallybasically
OK, Seriously… don’t be wishy-washy
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectives
Wishy-washyMy mood generally depends
on certain factors that are actually related to the type of foods I eat.
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectives
Better (concise)My mood depends upon what I eat.
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectives
Wishy-washy:Any particular type of dessert is fine with me.
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectivesBetter (concise)Any dessert is fine with me.
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectives
Wishy-washy-Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without some kind of extra help.
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Eliminate wishy-washy adjectivesBetter (concise)
--Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help.
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Wishy-washy words
kind of sort of type of really basically
particular definitely actually generally individual
Guaranteed to bore
your readers!
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How to be WORDYStep #3 …If one word is
good, then LOTS of words must be better, right?
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Extra words!!!
Seriously…
Like make-up, certain words enhance your writing.
But too many words can be ugly.
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Change phrases into single words
Look for prepositions to eliminate.
towith of
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Change phrases into single words
Look for prepositions to eliminate.
Wordy An employee with ambition...
More Concise An ambitious employee…
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Change phrases into single words
Wordy The decision of the judge will be final.
More Concise The judge’s decision will be final.
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Change phrases into single words
Wordy I met with a friend of mine at the door of his office.
More Concise I met my friend at his office door.
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Change phrases into single words
Use who which that
sparingly
Extra is not always good. Click for next
Change phrases into single words
Wordy The report, which was published recently...
More Concise The recently published report…
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Change phrases into single words
Wordy All applicants who are interested in the job must...
More Concise All interested job applicants
must…
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due to the fact that
because of the fact that
the reason why is that
given the fact that
because
Change phrases into single words
=
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Wordy Concise
Change phrases into single words
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At this/that point in time...
As you requested,
In accordance with your request...
Now/then
Wordy Concise
Change phrases into single words
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He is a man who...
can has the ability to…
he
Wordy Concise
Change phrases into single words
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in spite of the fact that
thinks/ believes
be of the opinion that
although
the question as to whether whether
Wordy Concise
Change phrases into single words
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put forth an effort
disappear / vanish
disappear from view
try / attempt
How to be WORDY
Step #4 …Weaken your sentences with expletives
There were
It was
There are It is
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Avoid expletives
Expletives are phrases using It + be-verb or there + be-verb.
AVOID: It isIt was There isThere was
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Avoid expletivesSeriously…
Instead of using expletives, begin sentences with a NOUN and VERB.
NounVerb
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Avoid expletives
WordyIt is important that we find a solution.
ConciseWe must find a solution.
It isClick for next
Avoid expletives
WordyThere are four rules that should be observed...
ConciseFour rules should be observed:...
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Avoid expletives
Wordy There was a big explosion which shook
the windows, and there were many people running into the street.
Concise A big explosion shook the windows, and
people ran into the street.
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How to be WORDY
Step #5 …Let your verbs be passive and lazy
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Verbs should be active! Seriously…Verbs should show ACTION. Avoid passive verbs when possible.
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Active Verbs
In sentences with active verbs, the
subject performs the action expressed in the verb.
The cat ate the goldfish.
Scientists presented the report.
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Passive VerbsIn sentences with passive verbs,
the verbs are weaker because the object receives the action.
The goldfish was eaten by the cat.
The report was presented by scientists. Click for next
Verbs should be active!
ACTIVE VERB --- ate PASSIVE VERB --- was eaten by
The teachers ate the cake. The cake was eaten by the teachers.
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Verbs should be active!
Wordy (passive verb)An account was opened by Mrs. Simms.
More Concise (active verb)Mrs. Simms opened an
account.
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Use active rather than passive verbs
Wordy (passive verb)Many errors were corrected by the
student.
More Concise (active verb) The student corrected many
errors.
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How to be WORDY
Step #7 …Be redundant and repeat the same ideas over and over and over…
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Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
Seriously… Redundancy is unnecessary repetition.
Redundant expressions make writing longer, not better.
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Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
Eliminate expressions that add nothing to what has already been said.
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Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
past memories (memories are always in the past)
Absolutely certain (certain is already absolute)
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I remember the future! You’re going
to eat me? Are you certain?
Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
basic fundamentals (basic = fundamental)
true facts (facts are already true)
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BasicFundamental MathBasic
Fundamental Math
For students who need something simpler than basic.
We want true facts, not false ones.
Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
future plans (plans are always made for the future)
terrible tragedy
(a tragedy is already terrible)
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This is terrible! I’d like a fun tragedy once in a while!
Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
end result (results come at the end)
final outcome (outcome is final)
I want results at the beginning!
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I’m here with the mid- outcome, for those who can’t wait for the final.
Avoid Redundancy Redundancy
free gift (gift = freely given)
past history
(history is always in the past)
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Happy Birthday! That will be $20.00 please.
Santa Claus gives me free gifts.
Avoid Redundancy Redundancy unexpected
surprise (does this even need explanation?)
sudden crisis (crisis implies a sudden occurrence)
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$5 millionwinner
WOW! I never expected to win!
$5 millionwinner
Right on time, as expected.
I prefer a gradual crisis.
Redundant Categories
Some words imply their general categories, so we don't have to state both.
For example, we already know that pink is a color and that shiny is an appearance.
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Redundant Categories
large in size (“large” is a size)red in color (“red” is a color)
AVOID the following:
Red in color
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Redundant Categories
often times (“often” already describes time)
heavy in weight (“heavy” is a weight)
AVOID the following:
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Heavy in
weight
Redundant Categories
at an early time (“early” describes time)
economics field (economics is a field)
AVOID the following:
Early time
Economics
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Redundant Categories
round in shape (“round” is a shape)
of cheap quality (“cheap” denotes quality)
AVOID the following:
in shapeRoun
dJust cheap!
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Redundant Categories
in a confused state (confusion is a state of mind)
unusual in nature (“unusual” describes the nature of something)
AVOID the following:
Just confused!
Just unusual!
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How to be WORDY
Step #8 …It’s easy as pie to be wordy when using CLICHES!
Easy
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Clichés
Seriously, avoid using cliches!
Clichés are common, and that's exactly the reason you should avoid them.
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Clichés
Think about this: when you hear somebody say, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks" do you ever visualize the image?
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Clichés
Probably not. You probably do not visualize an old dog
ignoring someone trying to teach a new trick. You have heard the expression so many times that it
means very little anymore.
I might be able to learn a new trick…
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Clichés Avoid clichés!
Beginning writers often mistakenly think that clichés make their writing sound more "literary," more creative, or more original.
I know…I’ll say I was happy as a clam and felt like a million bucks because I decided to be myself.
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Clichés
Avoid clichés!However, clichés have just the opposite effect.
They are worn-out expressions that have lost their vitality from overuse, and they are one sign of weak writing.
Sheesh…not another happy clam!!!
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How to be WORDYStep #9 …Add intensifiers “very” “really” and “extremely” to everything!
Very, really, and extremely strong!!
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Use intense words, not intensifiers
Seriously…avoid “very” “really” and “extremely”
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Very, really, extremely are “leeches that infest the pond of prose.” George
Orwell
Use intense words, not intensifiersAvoid “very” “really” and “extremely”
Rather than enhancing words, these words actually bleed meaning away.
very happyhappyClick for next
Use intense words, not intensifiers
very (as in “very interesting")
quite (as in "quite appetizing")
little (as in "a little tired")
pretty (as in "pretty good")
really ("really impressive")
Examples of what NOT to write:
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Remember…Description =
…better, stronger words
NOT more words!
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One final point…
Sometimes you need a lot of words.
A sentence is not "wordy" just because it is long.
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Effective writing
A sentence can be long and concise.
You want to avoid unnecessary words in your writing.
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The best writing is vivid and concise…
End of presentation.