at the gate, stronger than ever before. My past haunted me, my days were filled with insignificance and my future was uninspir-ing and none-existent.

Placing my life in His handsI woke up one morning in my single cell,

hearing a whisper repeating the Name of Jesus, over and over: ‘Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus’. I asked a Christian inmate what he thought and he quietly said “Colin, God is calling you.”

That evening I went to the Prison Christian Fellowship Meeting and sat un-der a teaching from Romans 7. That was the night I climbed into a rubbish bin filled with water and was baptised into newness of life.

I truly admitted my sinful condition in a prayer of repentance. My sins were washed away and I placed my entire being at the feet of God, ready for Him to take it and mold it into His perfect plan.

Facing freedomI came out of prison in 1993, free from any desire for chemical satisfaction. I was in love with God and desperate to tell others what Jesus did for us, and wants to do through us.

I attended Moorlands Bible College where I graduated with a BA in Applied

Theology. I was scheduled to head up the prison evangelism department of Pollsmoor Prison, but my heart gravitated to those outside, trapped in addictions.

Today I hold various qualifications hav-ing studied relevant addiction related disci-plines. I desire to equip ministers in how to handle Christians struggling with addiction through our ministry of Bethesda Addiction. Please contact us to speak at your local church or school.

62 JOY! MAGAZINE

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

T wenty-two years later, I can still vividly recall the feelings of despair and the coldness and stench of a

public lavatory where I sat with a needle in my arm - the brown cancerous mixture of street heroin and water drawn from the cistern was in that syringe.

By this stage of my ten year addiction, five prison sentences later and waking up on cardiac machines three times, the heroin had actually stopped numbing feelings of failure, loss, hopelessness and shame. I injected it to kill the aches in my joints so that I could physically function to steal something. Thoughts of returning to prison comforted me.

Finding my place in lifeThere were two diagnoses: I had a disease and I had an addictive personality. Sadly, it seemed as if those around me were using me as their project, and I felt as if I was de-

pendent upon them establishing who I was and what I needed to do to get better.

I was fearful of life and the reality of un-employment. Society was unfair and une-qual and I worried that my future was going to be controlled by wealthy people.

With my friends, chemicals were the

bonding agent, but none of us ever consid-ered how addictive they were.

Desperate for an endDuring one of my prison stays, I calculated my suicide. So much so, that as the day drew to a close, I started to feel a deep sense of calm with the world. I went to other inmates, and in my own secret way, said good-bye.

I got in to my bed that night and placed one end of a long strip of torn sheet into my mouth. I spared a few thoughts for my fam-ily, consoling myself that this would even end their pain in a way, and then I wrapped the sheet tightly around my throat as many

times as I could as fast as I could. I knew my life was about to end, but I also knew that I had already died in my addiction. This was my way of beating it.

Interrupted by GodThe word ‘God’ suddenly invaded my mis-sion. I somehow seemed to receive a pleth-ora of questions which instantly changed everything: Am I ready to stand before God? Do I really understand what God’s wrath is about? Do I really have any idea what an eternity separated from God means?

Heroin addiction suddenly looked like a picnic in the park and I somehow man-aged to get the sheet from around my neck. I knew that my life was displeasing to God, and I now knew that suicide was going to be displeasing to Him. I felt trapped.

I started to write poetry about my life, addiction, failings, hopes and dreams. In every one of my poems, God revealed Himself.

Hesitant and fearfulAs my sentence ticked by and my release date approached, I entered into a deep dark depression and dreaded being released. I felt as if my addiction was waiting for me

Suicidal, depressed and struggling with a heroin addiction, Colin found freedom through Christ and now ministers to others in the same situation.

teStImony

Junkiemeets

Jesus

ColIn Garnett is the co-founder and Clinical Director of Bethesda Addictions Treatment Centre. For more info see www.bethesda4recovery.com

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—by Colin Garnett

Colin delivers a crystal clear logic into the most confused hearts and minds in his care, seasoned with an

almost tangible faith.

Alongside his wife Deanna, a Bachelor of Law, this husband

and wife team bring a meticulous level of business integrity and

spiritual stability to the running of their addiction treatment

programme at Bethesda

Tel: +27 (0)44 533 3606Cell: +27 (0)82 468 6173Fax: +27 (0)44 533 3611

colin@bethesda4recovery.comwww.bethesda4recovery.com

24 HoUr HelPlIne079 888 3698

24 Longship Drive, Plettenberg Bay