jungle drums

LOOKING GREAT FOR THE WORLD CUP !

Get your free wall chart inside

and.... EVENmore areas

covered

Cabo Roig, Punta Prima & Playa Flamenca

The

HELLO, GOOD READING...& WELCOME TO...

plus More ITV CHANGESBuying a house in SpainINTERNATIONAL WILLS

GRAN ALACANT- SANTA POLA - LA MARINA - GUARDAMAR - ROJALESCATRAL - ALBATERA - HONDONS - LA ROMANA & PINOSO

www.thejungledrums.com JUNE 2010 Nº 72

FOR THE LOCALS BY THE LOCALS

and much much more!

this month4/5 HAVE YOU GOT CRABS?Buying local fresh fish

9 ANDREA BURNS... International Wills

11 LIVING THE LIFE...Life as an expat

13 ASK THE LAWYER...Buying & Selling a house

17 NATURE...Tele-Birding

18/19 LIFE ON AN URB...Goings on in Urban life

21 HEALTH CARE IN SPAIN... Cover up!

25 WHAT’S ON...? Get out & about

27-31FREE WORLDCUP CHART

33-39 FUN FUN FUN... Jokes and er...more jokes

41 MOTORING...ITV changes

43 COMPUTERS...Flickr 41 THE TROUBLE WITH SPAIN... Sport

49 PUZZLES...Sooooo easy...

51 HOROSCOPES...Stars in your eyes

55 BUSINESS DIRECTORY... All the businesses you’ll need!

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? take a look at www.loadofbull.es

where you’ll find some of the stuff we couldn’t, wouldn’t, or shouldn’t publish...

I got invited out the other night…by a lovely Spanish woman no

less. A phone call from her and ten minutes later I was showered,

changed and ready to go.

Half an hour later we met in town and went for an aperitif in a

quiet bar before moving on to the restaurant - I’d booked it earlier,

in-between the shower and getting dressed – and it was here that

we bumped into a couple of her friends. Three hours later and with

several other friends and various members of her extended family

in tow – and a few more bars patronised - we were within spitting

distance of the restaurant. The same restaurant where I’d reserved

a table in readiness for a cosy meal for two…and we should have

been there two hours previously. But, as usual, when I’m out with

a beautiful woman...I was not using my brain to do the thinking

and had left the restaurant number at home, so it was a case of

pacifying the owner when we eventually got there.

We got there at just after midnight. All fourteen of us. And, as ever

in Spain, the owner didn’t bat an eyelid when asked to make room

for another dozen people at the cosy corner table…how romantic.

After another two and a half hours of eating and drinking and more

eating, only interrupted by the Spanish family members asking

(shouting) me questions – all at once, and the end was in sight – the

restaurant was shutting. I got out, stuffed with the finest seafood

and the cheapest wine, and with a back looking (and feeling) as if

it was severely sunburnt after the whole lot of ‘em had slapped me

as an affectionate way of saying goodbye. I remember the soccer

riots of the eighties and I got slapped more gently by gorilla-shaped

Arsenal fans back then than I did on this night.

But it was the end, and I could go home. Six hours, enough food to

make Pat Butcher smile, and

enough liquid to test the

fittest bladder and it was

over…and there was me

earlier in the evening just

hoping for a quick nibble…

Also this month I had a rude

awakening when I jumped out

of my skin one night as I took

the rubbish out and lifted the lid

of the big grey bin to discover a Moro

grinning at me (toothless) from the inside

(with a miners torch on his head). After a

quick ‘hola’ he was back to it – head down, and rummaging, - so

I turned my attention to the adjacent bin, where a lot of noise was

coming from, to find his wife, scouring the bags for her particular

brand of treasure…and another toothless smile – complemented

with a cheery ‘Buenos Noches’ then she was back to it… I love

Spain…

Here’s a little gem I heard the other day about Ryanair…apparently

Michael O’Leary walked into a Dublin bar and ordered a pint of

Guinness, to which the barmen replied, ‘that’ll be 50 cents please.’

O’Leary, not believing his luck, said ‘My, that’s mighty cheap,’ to

which the barmen replied….’Oh….were you wanting a glass with

that…?’

If only eh…? Read on..and enjoy, Dave

&Independent Conveyancing

Wills, Probate & Inheritance

Tax Advisors, Chartered Accountants & Surveyors

Defective & Illegal Construction Claims

Vehicle and Drivers Licence / Traffic Registration

Litigation In All Law Fields

PEACE OF MIND FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE

Plaza Calvo Sotelo 1(Below the British Consulate)

ALICANTE

Cantral plaza 30HONDON DE LAS NIEVES

C/ Libertad 18 FORTUNA

Av.de Madrid 60 PETRER

FRONT COVER

Danielle Wright, 21 - model from GA & the pretty face of Jungle Drums,

and Sandra Claderon Molina, 19 - Santa Pola’s Fiesta Queen, cheer on our teams.

3

HAVE YOU GOT CRABS ?...and fresh Santa Pola crabs at that – the best crustaceans around (apart from a bowls team I saw last week…they were good) and seriously good food. Good for your health, good to taste and, possibly more important at the moment, good for your pocket. However, this isn’t a story just about crabs - that would be shellfish (geddit?) – what we’ve put together this month is a guide to buying your seafood, seeing as most of you reading this will live within a reasonably short drive from Santa Pola- the Mediterranean’s most important fishing port.We’ve all heard the story of the loaves and the fishes where more than five thousand people were miraculously fed, with just five loaves and two fishes. If that was to happen today…and my mum could do it, she seems to be able to feed as many people as will show up - and the cupboards remain full. But put the loaves and fishes story into a modern context and we’d probably just make a load of fish finger sand-wiches. that’s what this article is about too really - the benefits of eating fresh fish, as opposed to a reconstituted mash in a burger bar called a ‘Sea-man’s Slice’ or something, are enor-mous. Fish has oils in it that promotes healthy functioning of the brain and heart and seafood is also generally low in fat and high in other important nutrients includ-ing Omega 3 - which I thought was a film with Michael Caine ‘til I wrote this. So, apart from being one of the cheap-est and healthiest forms of food, fresh seafood is also very easy to buy around here, and as I said earlier, especially in Santa Pola. In this town which relies heavily on the one hundred strong

fishing fleet that spend six days of the week at sea, we have an abundance of places to buy fresh – and I mean ‘that day fresh’ – including most of the large supermarket chains that are represented in the area. However, it stands to reason doesn’t it, that the closer you are to the town, the fresher your seafood will be. And within the town? It’s more than likely that it is just a few short hours since your chosen meal was swimming around wondering what was for dinner…and then realising…it was. That’s how fresh it is. At the MERCADILLO in the centre of town you’ll find that day’s (or the previous depending on times) dis-played so that you can see the whole of the fish. Santapoleros know their fish and the vendors know what the locals want…good fish and they will soon let the vendor know should the produce not come up to standard. Take a walk along the port in the evening and you’ll come across the small cabins lo-cated behind the town hall. Here you’ll browse the seafood of the day which is, once again, laid out (pardon the pun) in readiness for the local house-wives who will be along to natter, buy, natter a bit more and argue about the price, before bidding the vendor a fond farewell…until tomorrow.Mediterranean people live longer than the rest of us (a miracle if you’ve seen them drive) and those in the know tell us that it is not least because of their diet of seafood. The fact that they can smoke about 50,000 fags (each) every day and still curl their toes up years after us just endorses the argument, so if you don’t normally buy fresh fish, try it – you may be surprised. It’s simple to cook (we’ll give you some ideas next month) and just as cheap as buying a slab of Salmon with three eyes from

Buyeckistan or the like, and far tastier…unless eyes are your thing I suppose. A walk along the prom, a cool beer and then buy your dinner. A little olive oil and garlic along with the fish in the pan – and you have it…delicious, trust me.

There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?" JOHN 6:9 (NKJV)

Tips for Buying Fresh Whole FishFull, clear, bright eyes.Bright red or pink, clean gills.Fresh, mild odour.Shiny, brightly coloured skin with tightly adhering scales.Firm flesh, elastic to the touch, clinging tightly to the bones.

Tips for buying live crabs, lobsters, and shrimp1. Legs should be lively when touched unless the crustacean is soft-shelled (such as soft shell crabs).

2. The tail of a live lobster should curl under when lifted up. It should not hang limp.3. Shellfish should feel weighty, not light or dry.4. Raw shrimp should have translucent shells with a greyish green, a pinkish-tan, or a pink tint. They should be moist and firm, not mushy.

Tips for buying live clams, mussels, oysters, scallops, and other molluscs1. Shells should be tightly closed. If they are open, they should shut immedi-ately when gently tapped. Discard

gaping shells that do not close when tapped.2. Shells should be moist and intact, not cracked, dry or chipped.3. Molluscs should have a clean ocean-fresh scent, not a fishy odour.

Tips for Buying Fresh Fillets and SteaksGlossy and freshly-cut appearance, firm texture.No signs of browning or drying around cut edges.No discoloration.

HAVE YOU GOT CRABS?

"Only the best for the Captain's table", CAP’N BIRDSEYE 1983

If not you should have

4 STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

HAVE YOU GOT CRABS ?...and fresh Santa Pola crabs at that – the best crustaceans around (apart from a bowls team I saw last week…they were good) and seriously good food. Good for your health, good to taste and, possibly more important at the moment, good for your pocket. However, this isn’t a story just about crabs - that would be shellfish (geddit?) – what we’ve put together this month is a guide to buying your seafood, seeing as most of you reading this will live within a reasonably short drive from Santa Pola- the Mediterranean’s most important fishing port.We’ve all heard the story of the loaves and the fishes where more than five thousand people were miraculously fed, with just five loaves and two fishes. If that was to happen today…and my mum could do it, she seems to be able to feed as many people as will show up - and the cupboards remain full. But put the loaves and fishes story into a modern context and we’d probably just make a load of fish finger sand-wiches. that’s what this article is about too really - the benefits of eating fresh fish, as opposed to a reconstituted mash in a burger bar called a ‘Sea-man’s Slice’ or something, are enor-mous. Fish has oils in it that promotes healthy functioning of the brain and heart and seafood is also generally low in fat and high in other important nutrients includ-ing Omega 3 - which I thought was a film with Michael Caine ‘til I wrote this. So, apart from being one of the cheap-est and healthiest forms of food, fresh seafood is also very easy to buy around here, and as I said earlier, especially in Santa Pola. In this town which relies heavily on the one hundred strong

fishing fleet that spend six days of the week at sea, we have an abundance of places to buy fresh – and I mean ‘that day fresh’ – including most of the large supermarket chains that are represented in the area. However, it stands to reason doesn’t it, that the closer you are to the town, the fresher your seafood will be. And within the town? It’s more than likely that it is just a few short hours since your chosen meal was swimming around wondering what was for dinner…and then realising…it was. That’s how fresh it is. At the MERCADILLO in the centre of town you’ll find that day’s (or the previous depending on times) dis-played so that you can see the whole of the fish. Santapoleros know their fish and the vendors know what the locals want…good fish and they will soon let the vendor know should the produce not come up to standard. Take a walk along the port in the evening and you’ll come across the small cabins lo-cated behind the town hall. Here you’ll browse the seafood of the day which is, once again, laid out (pardon the pun) in readiness for the local house-wives who will be along to natter, buy, natter a bit more and argue about the price, before bidding the vendor a fond farewell…until tomorrow.Mediterranean people live longer than the rest of us (a miracle if you’ve seen them drive) and those in the know tell us that it is not least because of their diet of seafood. The fact that they can smoke about 50,000 fags (each) every day and still curl their toes up years after us just endorses the argument, so if you don’t normally buy fresh fish, try it – you may be surprised. It’s simple to cook (we’ll give you some ideas next month) and just as cheap as buying a slab of Salmon with three eyes from

Buyeckistan or the like, and far tastier…unless eyes are your thing I suppose. A walk along the prom, a cool beer and then buy your dinner. A little olive oil and garlic along with the fish in the pan – and you have it…delicious, trust me.

There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?" JOHN 6:9 (NKJV)

Tips for Buying Fresh Whole FishFull, clear, bright eyes.Bright red or pink, clean gills.Fresh, mild odour.Shiny, brightly coloured skin with tightly adhering scales.Firm flesh, elastic to the touch, clinging tightly to the bones.

Tips for buying live crabs, lobsters, and shrimp1. Legs should be lively when touched unless the crustacean is soft-shelled (such as soft shell crabs).

2. The tail of a live lobster should curl under when lifted up. It should not hang limp.3. Shellfish should feel weighty, not light or dry.4. Raw shrimp should have translucent shells with a greyish green, a pinkish-tan, or a pink tint. They should be moist and firm, not mushy.

Tips for buying live clams, mussels, oysters, scallops, and other molluscs1. Shells should be tightly closed. If they are open, they should shut immedi-ately when gently tapped. Discard

gaping shells that do not close when tapped.2. Shells should be moist and intact, not cracked, dry or chipped.3. Molluscs should have a clean ocean-fresh scent, not a fishy odour.

Tips for Buying Fresh Fillets and SteaksGlossy and freshly-cut appearance, firm texture.No signs of browning or drying around cut edges.No discoloration.

HAVE YOU GOT CRABS?

"Only the best for the Captain's table", CAP’N BIRDSEYE 1983

If not you should have

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408 5

Opening HoursHorario

Lunes - Viernes Mon - Fri

9.00am - 14.00pm&

17.00pm - 20.00pm

7

8 your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com16 THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 40840 THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 4088

refo

r n nn

ova

co

ns

tr

uc

tio

nr

en

ov

atio

ns

RENOVATIONS

PARQUET FLOORING AND SYNTHETIC FLOORING

KITCHEN AND BATHROOM EQUIPMENT

PAINTING AND DECORATING

PLUMBING

ELECTRICAL WORK

HEATING

DOORS

WINDOWS

SEALED UNITS

PLASTERING

IRON WORK

AIR CONDITIONING

Everything You Need!AIR CONHot & Cold

+

RADIATORSat Great Prices!!

we have...

96 541 4040

Avda Escandinavia 72Altomar, 669Gran Alacant

Mobile: 660 417 845Email: [email protected]

CarsHouses

CommunitiesLife

AccidentsHealth

Business

Specific Products for Foreigners Living In Spain

with DISCOUNTS up to 30% on Cars !

10%DISCOUNT

For New Clients!

INSURANCE AGENTS

9NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

FAST & FRIENDLYMADE TO MEASURE SERVICE

Insect Screens for Windows and Doors

ROLLER BLINDS SLIDING SCREENS - GRILL DOOR

SCREENS - DOOR CURTAINS - SCREEN DOORS

Established & Registered Company

Call Janet & John on 659 259 319

email. [email protected]

I have come across a copy of an “International Will” for Spanish assets. The clients were assured of it’s validity in Spain.

The information they were not given is the procedure necessary in order to have that kind of Last Will validated here in Spain.

In case you are wondering now whether or not you have such a will, if you have signed a Spanish will in front of a notary you’re fine. All Last Wills attested by a Spanish notary are registered and probate can be finalised with that Will.

The “International Will” I am talking about is not attested by a notary but simply signed by two witnesses. Since that type of will is not registered anywhere, it will have to pass the court, involving considerable expense to be paid in fees for a lawyer and attorney.

Apart from the increased budget required it will also extend the time-period for the probate.

If you happen to have made such a will I would advise you to make another one, properly attested by a Spanish notary. The extra expense right now will be far outweighed when probate is sought in the future.

Please contact me if you have any doubts or wish to seek clarification on your Last Will. You’ll find my contact details next to this article.

andrea burns

Tax &

Legal Services

SPANISH WILLS

NON-RES. CAPITAL GAINS TAX

NON-RESIDENTS’ INCOME TAX

FISCAL REPRESENTATION

RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES

N.I.E. NUMBERS

SPANISH PROBATE & INHERITANCES

CONVEYANCES

POWER OF ATTORNEY

URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140GRAN ALACANT

96 669 7824 or 639 608 969

[email protected]

INTERNATIONAL WILLS FOR SPANISH ASSETS

Fiscal help...

Now as you may or may not know, i have lived

here 23 years so far and i have seen many

changes and many faces come and go over the

years. Some changes have been for the better

and some for the worse, whichever way you

want to interpret the meaning or the cause of

the changes. Ever being the optimist i would say

that some or most of the changes have been for

the better but on the other hand the pessimist

in yours truly throws up counter measures which

counter balance. Now i was originally attracted

by the openness of the beaches along Arenales

del Sol, and as for Guardamar and La Mata well

they were wonderful and open with lots of park-

ing areas and access to the beaches. Now? Well

you only have to take the beach road into Santa

Pola to see what i mean, then along came the

property boom and all the development along

with it which entailed building as close to the sea

as possible. The joke being that properties sold

as front line ended up having an apartment block

built in front of them with the all too familiar wall

and closed gates so no access was easily avail-

able. The occupants in these blocks regarding the

beach in front of them as a private beach with all

the snobbery that entailed, then in 1988 along

came the Ley de Costas which has helped to

resolve the issue regarding these developments.

Those of us around before this law used to say

they will be building on stilts in the sea before

long but thankfully this never arose, but we had

a laugh about it at the time. Now all this building

has allowed a lot of people to afford a holiday

or retirement home in the sun and good luck to

them and i do not begrudge them this small lux-

ury, in fact i quite like the idea of working class

people having this opportunity to own something

better than a beach hut at Clacton or Skegness.

It’s just the way the actual beach area has been

spoiled that i have some reservations about

because it has just spoilt it with all the build-

ing so close. Anyway that’s my gripe over with

for now unless something else rattles my cage

regarding this subject but i now want to discuss

other things that are closer or were closer and

of which i have fond regards. and that’s some of

the people i have known here in Spain over the

years who have either passed on to that great

beach paradise in the sky…but this sort of thing

i cannot write about too much because someone

always knows someone else, but yes i have seen

many come and go and lose a lot of money in the

process from the man running a fishing boat for

fishing trips to the man who tried to open a car

spares shop. Now the idea might have been ok

but the timing left a lot to be desired to say the

least, when not many of the urbanisations had

even been conceived on paper let alone built. Or

who were put out of business before they even

had a chance to get off the ground because in

them days - in the not so distant past - you had

to have a Spanish partner to start a business

here in Spain - before they joined the common

market fully.

I have heard of or encountered many of these

sorts of things over the 23 years of living here

from people meeting a local waiter called shall

we say Pepe who spoke a bit of English and offer

some of these people a dream come true buying

a bar in Spain and a new life. sending their local

Pepe a small fortune to buy the bar which was

duly done with their money all above board and

on the level till they had been here six months

only to arrive for work one day to find that the

bar had been sold by their so called business

partner and friend Pepe. Because the deeds (es-

critura) was bought in Pepe’s name only and once

he had a property developer or someone else in-

terested in a up and running successful bar it was

sold, also the car rental firm that had a Spanish

partner and was set up with a lot of one man’s

money only to be milked rotten by the Spanish

partner who was responsible for the buying and

selling of the cars because they spoke Spanish.

Even the wrecked cars were sold on paper for

peanuts only to be repaired and a nice drink out

of it for

someone

who shall

remain nameless.

And when a certain

mechanic used these

cars for repairs to the

existing fleet so that when

the man called Pepe came

to take away a car there

was only what was left of

a crunched body shell left

then the screaming

started. After that a

private local break-

down truck was

used so no-one in

the head office even

knew that a car was

written off - if it was

picked up before

they knew.

So the list goes on

from estate agents

with power of at-

torney to so called

property administra-

tors of urbanisations and the old favourite of a

Spanish fiscal representative which seems to

have died a death but the law was brought in

about 10 or so years ago as i remember and was

a prescription for certain fiscal representatives to

levy a non-existent tax on his customers and call

it a payment tax so he could buy a new boat or

another Mercedes car for his wife.

As stated i have lived here a long while now and

what i haven’t seen with my own eyes, I’ve heard

about from the bar room lawyers who seem to be

around everywhere, but i cannot say i have heard

them all yet…because i haven’t and something

new is always being talked about somewhere

along the coast.

World Cup fever is turning up in unexpected places this summer-non more so than 10 metres underwater in the Costa Blanca! The dive crew at Dive Academy Santa Pola are offering 1/2 price dives, discover scubas and snorkeling experiences within 48 hours of your team winning a game during this summer's World Cup finals. Owner and PADI Instructor Damon Rose explains; 'We were going to offer the 1/2 price promotion within 24 hours of your team win-ning it's game but then we figured people might be a bit worse for wear the follow-ing morning after an important match! Basically we are offering divers or people wanting to learn to dive or snorkel a chance to celebrate their teams victory with a great days fun.' England supporter Damon is quite prepared for his team putting him out of pocket for a month. 'Obviously, personally I'd like England to do well but that could mean

me giving away dozens of dive experiences to English tourists and expats if they go far in the tournament. Not forgetting Spain, Holland, Germany, Italy and France of course!' And who do Dive Academy expect to be giving away most 1/2 price dives to? 'Spain. I'd be very surprised if Spain didn't go very far'.

And what about a Spain vs. England final?; ' I'm not sure we could afford that! However we could have a divers penalty shoot out underwater complete with scuba gear and fins before the actual final itself!'

HE CAME, HE SAW….HE WON’T GO BACKCOLIN says his bit about life as an expat

You can lead a horse to water…but a pint is better!Local riders from El Palmera stables near Guardamar arrived at El Raso on horseback in May and en-joyed a cool beer…I suppose the horses ordered a red rum…?

ONE SHORT PLANK A quick note from the editor to the

lady(?) in the blue t-shirt who complained loudly at Oro y Sal cafeteria in Gran Alacant last month… that the menu was in Spanish – well spotted love…do

you want a lift to the airport…or you gonna walk? whichever– just go

away. pic. A miserable old fat cow.

Jim, Lisa, Julie and Gillian from La Palmera stables in Rojales

Me and Mrs. Jones

Not civil to the GuardiaBy BullyIt had all started so well. A sunny afternoon, me putting up a fence in the garden while Mrs Jones and Meg soaked up some rays. Then the Guardia turned up. At first it wasn’t clear what exactly I’d done wrong to deserve the presence of two officers of the crown at my gate, but here they were. Apparently someone had smashed into a car and left the scene pretty rapidly, forgetting to fill out the ac-cident form and disappearing into the distance. Apparently, that someone was me. Now at this point they asked to see my car, so I showed them. ‘No, the other car,’ said one of them with very bushy eyebrows (I actually wondered how he could see me but I bet they

are handy in the summer…). I offered the (honest) excuse that I didn’t have another but (apparently) I had ac-quired a BMW (black) with significant frontal damage. It didn’t matter what I said they insisted that I must have hidden it somewhere…all this was get-ting hard to take, especially with his eyebrows moving up and down as he talked. Eventually, they agreed to look at my ID and realised that my name, and the guy’s they were looking for, were completely different. At last, some common sense was going to prevail (I thought) but I was on another train of thought completely to eyebrows and his mate. My ID was false. It was checked, by phone, by radio all they failed to do was hold it up to my face and compare but they were not having it. Despite my protestations I was heading for the cooler (I know... but it’s the only way I can get my name in the same sentence as Steve McQueen…) and arrangements were made (by them) for me to be taken away.My knights in shining armour turned out to be the Local Police, who ar-rived in the nick (geddit?) of time and called me ‘Dave,’ I almost replied with an ‘I love you’ as eyebrows whipped his head between the two of us lost in the confusion. My friendly boys in blue began a serious sounding, although I

could only hear whispers, conversa-tion, about me. The looks over the shoulder from all the officers were still unnerving; especially eyebrows and I began to worry for my future once again. Stripy pyjamas are just not me, especially the ones with arrows on. Anyway, to keep a long story long, it turned out that I didn’t have a BMW, hadn’t crashed and legged it and I was, in fact, the bloke that it said I was. Bit like Ronseal really. So every-one was happy once again, although eyebrows and co’ didn’t offer an apol-ogy but they did shake my hand over the gate. It was that point that Mrs Jones decided to put in an appearance and put her front paws on the top of the gate – eyeballing eyebrows – and then it happened. To give him credit he took it well and returned to his car without another word. Mrs Jones, for her part, had let out the longest belch I’ve heard from any animal, let alone a Great Dane, into his face. It was compounded by the noise of her cheeks rattling against her gums from the force of the escaping air, and Eyebrows er, eyebrows being pushed against his forehead.I don’t expect Eyebrows to hold a grudge, but just in case, if anyone can bake a nice jam sponge, with a file in it…

10 [email protected]

Now as you may or may not know, i have lived

here 23 years so far and i have seen many

changes and many faces come and go over the

years. Some changes have been for the better

and some for the worse, whichever way you

want to interpret the meaning or the cause of

the changes. Ever being the optimist i would say

that some or most of the changes have been for

the better but on the other hand the pessimist

in yours truly throws up counter measures which

counter balance. Now i was originally attracted

by the openness of the beaches along Arenales

del Sol, and as for Guardamar and La Mata well

they were wonderful and open with lots of park-

ing areas and access to the beaches. Now? Well

you only have to take the beach road into Santa

Pola to see what i mean, then along came the

property boom and all the development along

with it which entailed building as close to the sea

as possible. The joke being that properties sold

as front line ended up having an apartment block

built in front of them with the all too familiar wall

and closed gates so no access was easily avail-

able. The occupants in these blocks regarding the

beach in front of them as a private beach with all

the snobbery that entailed, then in 1988 along

came the Ley de Costas which has helped to

resolve the issue regarding these developments.

Those of us around before this law used to say

they will be building on stilts in the sea before

long but thankfully this never arose, but we had

a laugh about it at the time. Now all this building

has allowed a lot of people to afford a holiday

or retirement home in the sun and good luck to

them and i do not begrudge them this small lux-

ury, in fact i quite like the idea of working class

people having this opportunity to own something

better than a beach hut at Clacton or Skegness.

It’s just the way the actual beach area has been

spoiled that i have some reservations about

because it has just spoilt it with all the build-

ing so close. Anyway that’s my gripe over with

for now unless something else rattles my cage

regarding this subject but i now want to discuss

other things that are closer or were closer and

of which i have fond regards. and that’s some of

the people i have known here in Spain over the

years who have either passed on to that great

beach paradise in the sky…but this sort of thing

i cannot write about too much because someone

always knows someone else, but yes i have seen

many come and go and lose a lot of money in the

process from the man running a fishing boat for

fishing trips to the man who tried to open a car

spares shop. Now the idea might have been ok

but the timing left a lot to be desired to say the

least, when not many of the urbanisations had

even been conceived on paper let alone built. Or

who were put out of business before they even

had a chance to get off the ground because in

them days - in the not so distant past - you had

to have a Spanish partner to start a business

here in Spain - before they joined the common

market fully.

I have heard of or encountered many of these

sorts of things over the 23 years of living here

from people meeting a local waiter called shall

we say Pepe who spoke a bit of English and offer

some of these people a dream come true buying

a bar in Spain and a new life. sending their local

Pepe a small fortune to buy the bar which was

duly done with their money all above board and

on the level till they had been here six months

only to arrive for work one day to find that the

bar had been sold by their so called business

partner and friend Pepe. Because the deeds (es-

critura) was bought in Pepe’s name only and once

he had a property developer or someone else in-

terested in a up and running successful bar it was

sold, also the car rental firm that had a Spanish

partner and was set up with a lot of one man’s

money only to be milked rotten by the Spanish

partner who was responsible for the buying and

selling of the cars because they spoke Spanish.

Even the wrecked cars were sold on paper for

peanuts only to be repaired and a nice drink out

of it for

someone

who shall

remain nameless.

And when a certain

mechanic used these

cars for repairs to the

existing fleet so that when

the man called Pepe came

to take away a car there

was only what was left of

a crunched body shell left

then the screaming

started. After that a

private local break-

down truck was

used so no-one in

the head office even

knew that a car was

written off - if it was

picked up before

they knew.

So the list goes on

from estate agents

with power of at-

torney to so called

property administra-

tors of urbanisations and the old favourite of a

Spanish fiscal representative which seems to

have died a death but the law was brought in

about 10 or so years ago as i remember and was

a prescription for certain fiscal representatives to

levy a non-existent tax on his customers and call

it a payment tax so he could buy a new boat or

another Mercedes car for his wife.

As stated i have lived here a long while now and

what i haven’t seen with my own eyes, I’ve heard

about from the bar room lawyers who seem to be

around everywhere, but i cannot say i have heard

them all yet…because i haven’t and something

new is always being talked about somewhere

along the coast.

World Cup fever is turning up in unexpected places this summer-non more so than 10 metres underwater in the Costa Blanca! The dive crew at Dive Academy Santa Pola are offering 1/2 price dives, discover scubas and snorkeling experiences within 48 hours of your team winning a game during this summer's World Cup finals. Owner and PADI Instructor Damon Rose explains; 'We were going to offer the 1/2 price promotion within 24 hours of your team win-ning it's game but then we figured people might be a bit worse for wear the follow-ing morning after an important match! Basically we are offering divers or people wanting to learn to dive or snorkel a chance to celebrate their teams victory with a great days fun.' England supporter Damon is quite prepared for his team putting him out of pocket for a month. 'Obviously, personally I'd like England to do well but that could mean

me giving away dozens of dive experiences to English tourists and expats if they go far in the tournament. Not forgetting Spain, Holland, Germany, Italy and France of course!' And who do Dive Academy expect to be giving away most 1/2 price dives to? 'Spain. I'd be very surprised if Spain didn't go very far'.

And what about a Spain vs. England final?; ' I'm not sure we could afford that! However we could have a divers penalty shoot out underwater complete with scuba gear and fins before the actual final itself!'

HE CAME, HE SAW….HE WON’T GO BACKCOLIN says his bit about life as an expat

You can lead a horse to water…but a pint is better!Local riders from El Palmera stables near Guardamar arrived at El Raso on horseback in May and en-joyed a cool beer…I suppose the horses ordered a red rum…?

ONE SHORT PLANK A quick note from the editor to the

lady(?) in the blue t-shirt who complained loudly at Oro y Sal cafeteria in Gran Alacant last month… that the menu was in Spanish – well spotted love…do

you want a lift to the airport…or you gonna walk? whichever– just go

away. pic. A miserable old fat cow.

Jim, Lisa, Julie and Gillian from La Palmera stables in Rojales

Me and Mrs. Jones

Not civil to the GuardiaBy BullyIt had all started so well. A sunny afternoon, me putting up a fence in the garden while Mrs Jones and Meg soaked up some rays. Then the Guardia turned up. At first it wasn’t clear what exactly I’d done wrong to deserve the presence of two officers of the crown at my gate, but here they were. Apparently someone had smashed into a car and left the scene pretty rapidly, forgetting to fill out the ac-cident form and disappearing into the distance. Apparently, that someone was me. Now at this point they asked to see my car, so I showed them. ‘No, the other car,’ said one of them with very bushy eyebrows (I actually wondered how he could see me but I bet they

are handy in the summer…). I offered the (honest) excuse that I didn’t have another but (apparently) I had ac-quired a BMW (black) with significant frontal damage. It didn’t matter what I said they insisted that I must have hidden it somewhere…all this was get-ting hard to take, especially with his eyebrows moving up and down as he talked. Eventually, they agreed to look at my ID and realised that my name, and the guy’s they were looking for, were completely different. At last, some common sense was going to prevail (I thought) but I was on another train of thought completely to eyebrows and his mate. My ID was false. It was checked, by phone, by radio all they failed to do was hold it up to my face and compare but they were not having it. Despite my protestations I was heading for the cooler (I know... but it’s the only way I can get my name in the same sentence as Steve McQueen…) and arrangements were made (by them) for me to be taken away.My knights in shining armour turned out to be the Local Police, who ar-rived in the nick (geddit?) of time and called me ‘Dave,’ I almost replied with an ‘I love you’ as eyebrows whipped his head between the two of us lost in the confusion. My friendly boys in blue began a serious sounding, although I

could only hear whispers, conversa-tion, about me. The looks over the shoulder from all the officers were still unnerving; especially eyebrows and I began to worry for my future once again. Stripy pyjamas are just not me, especially the ones with arrows on. Anyway, to keep a long story long, it turned out that I didn’t have a BMW, hadn’t crashed and legged it and I was, in fact, the bloke that it said I was. Bit like Ronseal really. So every-one was happy once again, although eyebrows and co’ didn’t offer an apol-ogy but they did shake my hand over the gate. It was that point that Mrs Jones decided to put in an appearance and put her front paws on the top of the gate – eyeballing eyebrows – and then it happened. To give him credit he took it well and returned to his car without another word. Mrs Jones, for her part, had let out the longest belch I’ve heard from any animal, let alone a Great Dane, into his face. It was compounded by the noise of her cheeks rattling against her gums from the force of the escaping air, and Eyebrows er, eyebrows being pushed against his forehead.I don’t expect Eyebrows to hold a grudge, but just in case, if anyone can bake a nice jam sponge, with a file in it…

11

12 your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

La Marina

Ref:433 122.500€Reduced... Spacious 2 bed,

1 bath ext Det Rosa.

La Marina

Ref:439 115.000€2 bed, 1 bath sth facing, corner plot, comm. Pool.

La marina.

La Marina

Ref:441 119.500€3 bed, 2 bath, quad conservato-ry, en-suite to master bed Utility

Room, Separate Kitchen.

La Marina

Ref:450 114.500€ 2 bed, 1 bath, utility rm, Air Cond, comm. Pool South

Facing, Priced to sell !

La Marina

Ref:451 99.000€ 2 bed, 1 bath immaculate

ext terraced Fina and Ample Parking, Central Location.

La Marina

Ref:445 128.500€3 bed, 2 bath, spacious

quad, sep Kitchen, good location.

La Marina

Ref:453 220.000€4 bed, 2 bath det villa, exc. cond, pool, store rm, sep

kitchen

La Marina

Ref:452 159.500€3 bed, 2 bath immaculate

det Rosa, Gas heating, BBQ,

La Marina

Ref:444 179.500€2 bed, 2 bath det lola, comm.

Pool, en-suite, furnished.

La Marina

Ref:454 144.500€2 bed, 2 bath det villa with

under build & comm. Pool l

Avda. Londres 1-A, Local 8, Urb. La Marina San FulgencioOffice: 96 679 5233 email:[email protected] our website to view our extensive range of properties:www.ipgspain.com

Homes in Spain

JuneOffersSALE!

La Marina

Ref:094 95.000€2 bed, 1 bath spacious town house u/build &

garage.

La Marina

Ref:449 195.000€3 beds, 2 bath hugely ext,det Lola with garage/workshop.

nr Gandia

Ref:446 82.500€3 Bed, 2 bath, Large 3

storey Townhouse, Pictur-esque location,


- General Practice & Litigation

- Claims against builders/promoters

Advice on Tax Matters

- Accountancy for companies/self

employed

- English & Spanish Inheritance Advice

- Real Estate

- N.I.E. Numbers

- Power of Attorney, Bank Accounts

- Resident Permits

- Mortgages, Loans

- Notary Deed

- Registration of the deed at

- Land Registry

- Trademarks

- Spanish Wills

- Reposessions

- Traffic Accidents

- Changes of Foreign Cars

to Spanish Registration

Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130

GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570

Espana - Spain · [email protected]

36

LONDON: 96-98 Baker Street W1 U6TJ LondonTel. 0044(0)20072241095

e-mail. [email protected]

Many of you will already have an idea of the buying and selling processes in Spain, which are considerably more complicated than in the UK. There are many types of services which will offer assistance in these processes, but we would encourage people to use a lawyer – this is because it is our business, we have experience of the pitfalls and can often foresee issues where others would not, which can in the long-term save you money and undue anxiety caused by problems which can arise – especially regarding the taxes involved, for example capital gains, and the new increase on IVA for new built properties which will be implemented in July of this year

Buying

When a client decides to purchase a property in Spain, we provide them with the services listed below. They include all of the legal stages required to successfully complete a sale agreement, and thus avoid the numerous potential pitfalls:

1. After the client has decided to buy a property, the architect-surveyor issues an approval report for the property, which means the client can be sure they are not buying a property with hidden defects or flaws. This stage is optional, although we recommend that our clients commission this report, given the large amounts of money that are involved. 2. We search the Land Registry to find out what the legal situation of the property is, in order to verify whether or not it is encumbered, and if there are any facilities or difficulties attached to its purchase. 3. We draw up a private sale agreement before signing the Public Deed at the notary office. It is important to remember that in Spain the private sale agreement is extremely important. We cannot emphasize enough this point. Agreements made in this Private Purchase Contract are binding at the time of signing for the Title Deeds – Price, Conditions and Timescales.4. We execute a power of attorney at the Notary’s office so that in the event of the client being unable to attend the sale, the Public Deed can be notarised at the Notary’s office within the deadline specified in the private sale agreement. If it is not possible to sign the power of attorney in Spain, we collaborate with notary offices in the United Kingdom, and other countries, which means that it can be executed in the country of origin. 5. We open bank accounts for our clients in Spain, and if they need finance, we provide advice on mortgages. Our clients have the advantage that financing is generally cheaper in Spain. 6. We prepare the documentation needed for the Public Deed, and on the day of signing we either accompany the client, or sign on their behalf with the power of attorney.

7. We advise our clients about taxes in Spain, and we also liquidate and pay the taxes on their behalf. We accompany foreign clients to the police station in the area where they are buying to apply for a Foreigner’s Identity Number (N.I.E), and arrange for the documentation to be collected and delivered to them or, if they prefer, they can appoint us to be their tax representatives in Spain. 8. While the Public Deed (First Copy) is being processed at the Land Registry, we withdraw copies of it on behalf of our clients and send it to their residence. 9. We register the Public Deed at the Land Registry. 10. Wills. We strongly recommend that all of our Spanish and International clients make a Spanish will, as this is essential if you wish to save your loved ones a long and tedious process when proving their inheritance rights to your assets in Spain. (This was explained in more detail in our previous article for May 2010).

Selling

Although clients who want to sell a property have to comply with the same legal procedures as those that were described previously for purchasers, the tax implications are very different. For this reason, we provide our clients with pre-sale advice in order to avoid problems, in particular with the capital gains tax that they may be liable for.

All the documents are prepared by our firm, so that even if the client is not in Spain we can act of their behalf, complete the sale, and transfer their money to wherever they request us to do so.

As always, JLCA & As.-Lawyers are on hand to offer advice on buying and selling, making sure that your best interests are catered for at all times.

ELCHE: Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - Elche ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 ·

Fax: 965 427 800 [email protected]

JLCA & AS LawyersJosé-Luis Campillo & Asociados

Abogados - Lawyerswww.jlcalawyers.com

INDEPENDENT LAW & TAX ADVICE

ASK THE LAWYER…Top local lawyer Jose Luis answers your legal questions.

BUYING AND SELLING PROPERTY IN SPAIN

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 40814

15WHY PAY MORE? the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

We are nearing the anniversary of the sad death of the previous writer of this column, my dear friend Brian Conduit, and it is with his memory well to the fore that I write. An avid sports fan, he always delighted in watching the Tour de France on television. But he watched it with half an eye on the birds they inevitably focussed on as they recorded – or he simply spotted them in the background. He would ring me that night and say, ‘See the Griffon Vulture today?’ Or ‘What a pillock – the commentator said that Black Kite was an eagle.’During the course of several tours, we logged, between us, some 40 species. Besides those I’ve mentioned, notable finds were Alpine Chough, Booted Eagle, Common Buzzard, Red Kite, Red-legged Partridge and once, even a Lammergeier, as the tour crept over a Pyrenean pass.I can’t, in fact, watch a film or series without seeing or hearing the background birds. Thus a play set in the twenties in Western Europe is rendered false by the persistent coo-ing of a Collared Dove – not to be found anywhere west of Asiatic Turkey at those dates. Similarly at odds are the night-time soundtracks of many series and films. It seems as if directors buy

‘stock footage’ of ‘atmospheric’ soundtracks, which often seem to feature Tengmalm’s Owl, a rare species which occurs only in mountains or the far north – it has a nice spooky ‘hoot’.More stock footage comes into play in French movies, which often seem to have a Nightingale or a Willow Warbler singing lustily, even when there isn’t a scrap of leaf on the trees, and even when there’s snow on the ground – and all those birds are sensibly trying to rid Africa of its insects.Still more stock-footage comes when American films include a soundtrack featuring wholly European Tawny Owl calls.Geography can be fun. The summer scenes in Doctor Zhivago have an Iberian Chiffchaff singing – way out of range on the Russian steppes, while the

spaghetti westerns, like ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ feature Blackbirds, Thekla Lark and Sardinian Warbler – nothing of the sort is found in the Arizona desert.Films ‘made for television’ such as the often rather turgid ‘thrillers’ they show in the afternoons on Antenna 3 or Telecinco, may be made in the USA or, sometimes in Germany or Austria. If you can’t see a car or some other giveaway, almost all American films feature the ‘caw’ of an American Crow in the distance. News and current affairs programmes give you an occasional ‘armchair tick’ too – I only recently saw some very red-breasted Swallows flying under a bridge in Afghanistan – well, at least it’s better than the news item you’re supposed to be watching!But it won’t be long now before the Tour de France fills my sceen, and I shall not feel ashamed if a stray tear blurs the image, as I remember Brian – ‘Hey, Armstrong did it again, eh – but did you see that raptor as they crossed the Tourmalet – what do you reckon – Golden Eagle?’

TELE-BIRDINGby Malcolm Palmer


20

FLANNAGAN’S IRISH MUSIC MAR - PLAZA MAYOR - GRAN ALACANTAVAILABLE FOR FUNCTIONS

SPORTSWIDESCREEN TV’s

SHOWING ALL WORLD CUP

MATCHES

plus SHOWTIME&

RUGBYCRICKET

PLUS LOTS MORE!

World Cup

Promotions!

Bucket

of

Alco-pops

4 for

10€

FREE 90 minute goal draw on England and Spain games

SPIN THE

WHEEL

for amazing

prizes

June 4th

Tony Hall

DISCO

FULLSNACKMENU

+ Disco &Nightshift Karaoke

for the rest of the month

KITCHEN NOW OPEN

YOUR HEALTH CARE IN SPAIN

Expats in Spain have two different ways

of receiving medical care:

One option is the Public Health Service, for

which you have to have a SIP and know

the possible limitations of the service.

The other choice is private healthcare

and in Alicante province we are fortunate

to have one of the best Private Medical

Assistance Chains, including hospitals and

doctors.

Obviously, there are some clear

advantages for the expat in the Private

Health in respect to the Public one.

1. English speaking doctors, family

doctors

and specialists

2. Immediate attention by the specialists.

3. No waiting lists for operations or

diagnosis.

To qualify for using the national health

service, you will need to be a tax payer or a

pensioner but it is much simpler for many

to sign up for private medical insurance,

which in Spain is much cheaper than in the

UK and one of the best choices of medical

insurance for its relation services-price is

With more than 50 years of experience,

they are specialists in medical insurances

for the expat in Alicante province and they

are well aware that when you consider

insurance it is very important to take into

account all the different aspects, not just

the price:

- That there are no limitations

in the covers, for example

that medications in case of

hospitalisation are included.

- That there are NO limitations

on the age to contract the

policy.

- That there are not annual

limits in the covers.

El Perpetuo Socorro, your Medical Insurance in Alicante.

MARTINEZ & BALLESTER was legally established in 1979 by Pedro Antonio Martínez, Sworn Public English Translator, who also had a wide knowledge of German and French. always well-known for his politeness and his sense of obligation, After his sudden death in 1987, the business continued under the name of MAR-TINEZ & BALLESTER, RABESMA S.L., with two offices: in Torrevieja and in Gran Alacant.For more than 30 years our company has been supplying a first class legal service to the citi-zens of the Costa Blanca and beyond. Our aim has always been to offer our clients individual and personal attention, assuring a kind and friendly service at every moment.Whether you need assistance with Property Purchase and Land Registry searches; Wills and Inheritance; Car Imports and Transfers; Health, Car and House insurance; Finance and Fiscal advice; Claim of Traffic accidents; Courts Litigation and Legal advice; we have the skills to help you.Call us for a completely free consultation; we speak Spanish-English-German and French

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

El Perpetuo Socorro

...and more!

Av. Noruega 174, Local 8, Novamar Gran Alacant, 03130 Santa Pola Tel/Fax 966 698 781 Mobile 696 289 407e-mail: [email protected]

C/ Concepción Nº 6, 1ºA03181 TorreviejaTlf: 965 710 353 Fax 965 710 267e-mail: [email protected] [email protected]

NOTE: Last month we published by mistake, the wrong tele-phone number and address. We apologise for any problems you may have had in trying to contact us.

Notarial Title Deeds

Spanish Wills

Power of Attorney

Private contracts

Conveyancing

Land Registry searches

Electricity and water contracts

Rates contracts

Fiscal Representation

Fiscal numbers (N.I.E.)

House & Car Insurance

Health Insurance

Car Import & Transfers

Spanish driving licences

Tax returns for Residents &Non Residents

www.martinezandballester.com


your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com22


offer ends -ask instore

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 40824

Flaming June - Jungle Drums’ World Cup al-ternativesIf you’ve been fast asleep for the past three months and are just about to wake up bleary eyed and grumpy, it’s gonna come as a bit of a shock to learn that all you’ll hear about on the news and in the papers for the foreseeable future is a not insignificant football tourna-ment occurring way down south somewhere near Durban. Fear not, grab a fag, finish your cuppa and read on because a sedentary life-style featuring a football shirt just too small to cover the entire stom-ach, pizza, beer and the settee for the next five weeks most definitely aren’t all you’ve got to look for-ward to. Us jolly thoughtful Jungle Drums chaps now give you the low-down on what else is occurring this month.

LAS HOGUERAS DE SAN JUANRight, now I’ve got your attention I’ll bash on and start in Alicante which hosts its annual fiestas from June 20th until the 24th. Everywhere else makes do with the Moros y Cristia-nos, but Alicante goes one better, and, as you’d expect from the na-tion that brought the world the San Fermin bull running in Pamplona and La Tomatina, it’s a bit danger-ous. For the previous week or two, various residents committees in all four corners of the city will have been hard at work overseeing the construction of massive papier mache effigies, (hogueras), all of which, accompanied by mental firework displays, will be torched in the name of entertainment over the evening of June 23rd and the early hours of June the 24th. Pos-sibly not the night then to be on shift with blue watch of the local bomberos!! Before Alicante col-lectively reaches for the Swan Ves-tas pop along, because, just like those ubiquitous sand sculptures, you’ll be blown away, there prob-ably isn’t a more spectacular way to celebrate the Summer Solstice. Be warned though, car parking is next to impossible, with various im-portant streets closed off, so get there early.http://www.hoguerasorg/web/in-dex.php

AN EMOTIVE SUBJECT

Next up, something quite a few Brits find somewhat distasteful - the bullfight, or, as the natives would say “La Corrida” The last couple of times I attended it was six nil, but in recent weeks the Spanish press has been full of stories about dear old Taurus the bull getting his own back. Perhaps surprisingly, pub-lic opinion in Spain is also divided with growing numbers opposed to the spectacle. If you fancy going, tickets can be obtained from any Carrefour branch and are priced not just according to your proxim-ity to the claret but also whether you choose to sit in the sun, shade or a combination of both. In 2010, the Plaza de Toros in Alicante, a majestic edifice steeped in history, has eights days worth of an event which is a mix of pure theatre, bal-let and the circus. Each of this years Corridas, from the 17th to the 27th, take place in the evening and start at seven pm.http://www.torosalicante.com/in-dex.php

IT AIN’T HALF HOT MUMAs the temperatures creep up and you start sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown, spare a thought for the players of Elche and Hercules

football clubs. Their seasons started way back in August last year and aren’t due to be completed until the third week of this month. Both clubs are pushing hard for promo-tion to La Primera and the chance to host giants such as Barcelona and Real Madrid. Hercules take on Rayo Vallecano on June the 12th in their final home game of the sea-son while Elche have two fixtures to complete en casa. First, an en-ticing local derby against Murcia on the 6th beckons and then they face the mighty Real Sociedad on the 20th in their last outing before the squad hits the beach, the golf course or the missus. Sorry for men-tioning the ‘F’ word.http://www.elchecf.es/index.php http://www.herculescf.es/

A DANGEROUS COMBINATIONDon’t be surprised to see vari-ous cars ands vans dropping off vast piles off wood on the regions beaches on the afternoon of June 23rd, they’re not fly tipping it’s all in preparation for the celebrations of San Juan, where, on the shortest night of the year a heady cock-tail of barbecued grub, copious quantities of alcohol and a bit of skinny dripping come together as sinners everywhere get completely

mashed and jump over a bonfire three times to purify and cleanse themselves. Afterwards any badly burnt soles of feet are quenched in the adjacent Med’ and the glow-ing embers, if people remember, are buried forever under the sands. This is the one, just like November the 5th in the UK, which A&E de-partments around the Costa Blan-ca and beyond fear most.

ELSEWHERE ON OUR PATCH

If you prefer your evenings out not to have such an element of risk,thirty of Elche’s best restaurants are collectively holding an event en-titled “The Star Dish”, where, for € 3.00 you can sample some of the cities culinary specialities, many of which change daily. Look sharp though it finishes on Wednesday the 9th. Fancy a bevy or two? then get yourselves down to the Gran Al-acant Centro Comercial, where, for one night only, popular bar Shamu celebrates it’s fifth birthday on Friday the 11th. The evening kicks off about nine-ish and contin-ues, like the very best Spanish do’s, until the small hours with live music by acoustic rock band Steel Horse, you might even bump into one or two of those friendly Jungle Drums

types . I’m not sure what it is with Spain and pyromania; in the month Ali-cante goes to blazes, so to speak, Aspe and Guardamar get in on the act as well. The Night of St. John on the 23rd sees residents and visitors to Guardamar witness the magical “firedance” followed the next night by a ritual burning of all the witches and creations that took part. In-land, and at about the same time, Aspe folk go berserk with their ciga-rette lighters too in similar fashion before retiring to a local tavern for a well deserved ale or two. If none of these suggestions float your boat, there’s always the LGTBI fair in Elche during the last week of the month, it’s for Lesbian, Gay, Transsexual, Bisexual and the Inter-sexual. What the hell’s an Intersexu-al? Have fun!!

There’s so much to enjoy in Spain…without having to take your clothes off…JD reporter Kevin Rendall has been sent out and about to find out ex-actly what’s on…and where.

Next month Kevin checks out his stools (shouldn’t that be stalls?) as he roams the region finding the best markets for the JD readers.


Flaming June - Jungle Drums’ World Cup al-ternativesIf you’ve been fast asleep for the past three months and are just about to wake up bleary eyed and grumpy, it’s gonna come as a bit of a shock to learn that all you’ll hear about on the news and in the papers for the foreseeable future is a not insignificant football tourna-ment occurring way down south somewhere near Durban. Fear not, grab a fag, finish your cuppa and read on because a sedentary life-style featuring a football shirt just too small to cover the entire stom-ach, pizza, beer and the settee for the next five weeks most definitely aren’t all you’ve got to look for-ward to. Us jolly thoughtful Jungle Drums chaps now give you the low-down on what else is occurring this month.

LAS HOGUERAS DE SAN JUANRight, now I’ve got your attention I’ll bash on and start in Alicante which hosts its annual fiestas from June 20th until the 24th. Everywhere else makes do with the Moros y Cristia-nos, but Alicante goes one better, and, as you’d expect from the na-tion that brought the world the San Fermin bull running in Pamplona and La Tomatina, it’s a bit danger-ous. For the previous week or two, various residents committees in all four corners of the city will have been hard at work overseeing the construction of massive papier mache effigies, (hogueras), all of which, accompanied by mental firework displays, will be torched in the name of entertainment over the evening of June 23rd and the early hours of June the 24th. Pos-sibly not the night then to be on shift with blue watch of the local bomberos!! Before Alicante col-lectively reaches for the Swan Ves-tas pop along, because, just like those ubiquitous sand sculptures, you’ll be blown away, there prob-ably isn’t a more spectacular way to celebrate the Summer Solstice. Be warned though, car parking is next to impossible, with various im-portant streets closed off, so get there early.http://www.hoguerasorg/web/in-dex.php

AN EMOTIVE SUBJECT

Next up, something quite a few Brits find somewhat distasteful - the bullfight, or, as the natives would say “La Corrida” The last couple of times I attended it was six nil, but in recent weeks the Spanish press has been full of stories about dear old Taurus the bull getting his own back. Perhaps surprisingly, pub-lic opinion in Spain is also divided with growing numbers opposed to the spectacle. If you fancy going, tickets can be obtained from any Carrefour branch and are priced not just according to your proxim-ity to the claret but also whether you choose to sit in the sun, shade or a combination of both. In 2010, the Plaza de Toros in Alicante, a majestic edifice steeped in history, has eights days worth of an event which is a mix of pure theatre, bal-let and the circus. Each of this years Corridas, from the 17th to the 27th, take place in the evening and start at seven pm.http://www.torosalicante.com/in-dex.php

IT AIN’T HALF HOT MUMAs the temperatures creep up and you start sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown, spare a thought for the players of Elche and Hercules

football clubs. Their seasons started way back in August last year and aren’t due to be completed until the third week of this month. Both clubs are pushing hard for promo-tion to La Primera and the chance to host giants such as Barcelona and Real Madrid. Hercules take on Rayo Vallecano on June the 12th in their final home game of the sea-son while Elche have two fixtures to complete en casa. First, an en-ticing local derby against Murcia on the 6th beckons and then they face the mighty Real Sociedad on the 20th in their last outing before the squad hits the beach, the golf course or the missus. Sorry for men-tioning the ‘F’ word.http://www.elchecf.es/index.php http://www.herculescf.es/

A DANGEROUS COMBINATIONDon’t be surprised to see vari-ous cars ands vans dropping off vast piles off wood on the regions beaches on the afternoon of June 23rd, they’re not fly tipping it’s all in preparation for the celebrations of San Juan, where, on the shortest night of the year a heady cock-tail of barbecued grub, copious quantities of alcohol and a bit of skinny dripping come together as sinners everywhere get completely

mashed and jump over a bonfire three times to purify and cleanse themselves. Afterwards any badly burnt soles of feet are quenched in the adjacent Med’ and the glow-ing embers, if people remember, are buried forever under the sands. This is the one, just like November the 5th in the UK, which A&E de-partments around the Costa Blan-ca and beyond fear most.

ELSEWHERE ON OUR PATCH

If you prefer your evenings out not to have such an element of risk,thirty of Elche’s best restaurants are collectively holding an event en-titled “The Star Dish”, where, for € 3.00 you can sample some of the cities culinary specialities, many of which change daily. Look sharp though it finishes on Wednesday the 9th. Fancy a bevy or two? then get yourselves down to the Gran Al-acant Centro Comercial, where, for one night only, popular bar Shamu celebrates it’s fifth birthday on Friday the 11th. The evening kicks off about nine-ish and contin-ues, like the very best Spanish do’s, until the small hours with live music by acoustic rock band Steel Horse, you might even bump into one or two of those friendly Jungle Drums

types . I’m not sure what it is with Spain and pyromania; in the month Ali-cante goes to blazes, so to speak, Aspe and Guardamar get in on the act as well. The Night of St. John on the 23rd sees residents and visitors to Guardamar witness the magical “firedance” followed the next night by a ritual burning of all the witches and creations that took part. In-land, and at about the same time, Aspe folk go berserk with their ciga-rette lighters too in similar fashion before retiring to a local tavern for a well deserved ale or two. If none of these suggestions float your boat, there’s always the LGTBI fair in Elche during the last week of the month, it’s for Lesbian, Gay, Transsexual, Bisexual and the Inter-sexual. What the hell’s an Intersexu-al? Have fun!!

There’s so much to enjoy in Spain…without having to take your clothes off…JD reporter Kevin Rendall has been sent out and about to find out ex-actly what’s on…and where.

Next month Kevin checks out his stools (shouldn’t that be stalls?) as he roams the region finding the best markets for the JD readers.

GROUP A11/6 16.00 S.AFRICA - FRANCE11/6 20.30 URUGUAY - FRANCE16/6 20.30 S.AFRICA - URUGUAY17/6 20.30 FRANCE - MEXICO22/6 16.00 MEXICO - URUGUAY22/6 16.00 FRANCE - S.AFRICA

11 JULY 20.30 FINAL

v

1 26/6 16.00 1st GROUP A v 2nd GROUP B v

1 6 JULY 20.30 A v B SEMI FINAL v

GROUP B12/6 13.30 S.KOREA - GREECE12/6 16.00 ARGENTINA - NIGERIA17/6 13.30 ARGENTINA - S.KOREA17/6 16.00 GREECE - NIGERIA22/6 20.30 NIGERIA - S.KOREA22/6 20.30 GREECE - ARGENTINA

GROUP C12/6 20.30 - USA13/6 13.30 ALGERIA - SLOVAKIA18/6 16.00 SLOVAKIA - USA18/6 20.30 - ALGERIA23/6 16.00 SLOVAKIA - 23/6 16.00 USA - ALGERIA

GROUP D13/6 16.00 SERBIA - GHANA13/6 20.30 GERMANY - AUSTRALIA18/6 13.30 GERMANY - SERBIA19/6 16.00 GHANA - AUSTRALIA23/6 20.30 GHANA - GERMANY23/6 20.30 AUSTRALIA - SERBIA

GROUP E14/6 13.30 HOLLAND - DENMARK14/6 16.00 JAPAN - CAMEROON19/6 13.30 HOLLAND - JAPAN19/6 20.30 CAMEROON - DENMARK24/6 20.30 CAMEROON - HOLLAND24/6 20.30 DENMARK - JAPAN

GROUP F14/6 20.30 ITALY - PARAGUAY15/6 13.30 N.ZEALAND - CZECH REPUB20/6 13.30 CZECH.REPUB - PARAGUAY20/6 16.00 ITALY - N.ZEALAND24/6 16.00 CZECH.REPUB - ITALY24/6 16.00 PARAQUAY - N. ZEALAND

GROUP G15/6 16.00 IVORY C. - PORTUGAL15/6 20.30 BRAZIL - N.KOREA20/6 20.30 BRAZIL - IVORY C.21/6 13.30 PORTUGAL - N.KOREA25/6 16.00 PORTUGAL - BRAZIL25/6 16.00 N.KOREA - IVORY C.

GROUP H16/6 13.30 HONDURAS - CHILE16/6 16.00 - SWITZERLAND21/6 16.00 CHILE - SWITZERLAND21/6 20.30 - HONDURAS25/6 20.30 CHILE -25/6 20.30 SWITZERLAND - HONDURAS

2 26/6 20.30 1st GROUP C v 2nd GROUP D v

3 27/6 16.00 1st GROUP D v 2nd GROUP C v

4 27/6 20.30 1st GROUP B v 2nd GROUP A v

5 28/6 16.00 1st GROUP E v 2nd GROUP F v

6 28/6 20.30 1st GROUP G v 2nd GROUP H v

7 29/6 16.00 1st GROUP F v 2nd GROUP E v

8 29/6 20.30 1st GROUP H v 2nd GROUP G v

A 02/7 16.00 WINNER 5 v WINNER 6 v

B 02/7 20.30 WINNER 1 v WINNER 2 v

C 03/7 16.00 WINNER 3 v WINNER 4 v

D 03/7 20.30 WINNER 7 v WINNER 8 v

2 7 JULY 20.30 C v D SEMI FINAL v

ALL TIMES SHOWN ARE SPANISH

ENGLAND

ENGLANDENGLAND

SPAIN

SPAIN SPAIN

659 728 120

COME ON ENGLAND!

27


11 JULY 20.30 FINAL

v























ENGLAND

ENGLANDENGLAND

SPAIN

SPAIN SPAIN

659 728 120

COME ON ENGLAND!


11 JULY 20.30 FINAL

v























ENGLAND

ENGLANDENGLAND

SPAIN

SPAIN SPAIN

CAFEEspanol

www.elparipe.comAVDA ESCANDINAVIA

GRAN ALACANT

COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY

Covering The Costa Blanca

FOAM - Cut to sizeLoose covers MEMORY FOAM

96 56 99305 677 825 149www.complete-upholstery.com

COME ON ENGLAND! Please don’t let it go to penalties....

jungle drums

Documents

Transcript of jungle drums