Joyful, Joyful (Symphony N.º9) - Beethoven, arr. Mark Williams
Joyful (no, really!) negotiating
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Mary Ellen Bates BatesInfo.com Shirley Alldredge Memorial Lecture Feb. 27, 2014 Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating
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Much of life involves negotiation, and we often approach a conflict with the assumption that it is a zero-sum game. Mary Ellen describes how to develop your ability to reframe challenging situations, identify the underlying issues, and use tools to enhance your negotiation skills and approach every situation as negotiable.
Transcript of Joyful (no, really!) negotiating
Mary Ellen BatesBatesInfo.com
Shirley Alldredge Memorial LectureFeb. 27, 2014
Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating
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Slide deck at
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Deadhead Negotiating
What is negotiation?
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Negotiation ≠ confrontation
It’s not either/or
Assertive ≠ aggressive
Just show up!
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5 Myths of Negotiation
Negotiation is a power struggle
Compromise is weakness
You have to look out for #1
Never show your hand
You have to be shrewd and cunning
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Who is running your life?
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"You're the boss"
Let the external world drive you“I had no choice”“He makes me so mad”“I can't / I wish / if only...”“My boss never lets me...”“People take advantage of me”
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"I'm the boss of me"
Let the external world drive you
Own your power to affect your world“I had no choice”“I didn't look at all the alternatives”
“He makes me so mad”“I'm choosing to react angrily”
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"I'm the boss of me"
“I can't / I wish / if only...”
“What do I need to do to accomplish...?”
“My boss never lets me...”
“I haven't yet negotiated with my boss about...”
“People take advantage of me”
“Thanks for asking; I can’t do that right now.”
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Solve this mystery...
You planned to attend the 2014 SLAconference. A travel freeze happens.You get there anyway!
What happened?
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Negotiate from abundance
It’s never a zero-sum game
There’s always a larger pie
Shift from worst-case to best-casethinking
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Focus on results you both want
Interest-based rather than position-based discussion
Aim for what's ideal, not what you'llsettle for
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Focus on now, not history
Current situation, not what got youthere
Focus on the problem, not each other
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Ask more questions!
Do you know everything you need toknow about the situation?
What else do you need to know?
How could you add more value?
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Know when you have leverage
When offered job or promotion“Hmmmm, the figure I was expecting wascloser to $X. Could you walk me throughhow you arrived at $Y?”
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“No” isn’t always “NO”
“No" just means "give me a reason tosay yes”
What else can you offer?
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What would you do?
You want to learn how to create webinars.Your boss says “absolutely not”.
What would you do?
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Be able to walk away
Never invest more than you can leaveon the table
Listen to your gut
Stop caring about the outcome
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Check ego at the door
Mad? Scared? Feeling like a victim?Deep breath. And another.
Give up prior history with counterpart
Take counterpart’s perspectiveMaybe they’re not ripping you off!
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De-fuse negotiation anxiety
Create situation to succeed“Can I have it for free?” doesn’t countHow can you solve counterpart’s
problem?
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It's business, not personal
...even when it’s personal!
You are your own best advocate.
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What would you do?
A staff member says, “I’m going toquit! I’m working too many hours!”
What would you do?
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Your assignment
In the next week, negotiate something
Did you survive the ordeal?
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Mary Ellen Bates
303.772.7095
Web: BatesInfo.com
Twitter: @mebs
LinkedIn: maryellenbates
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