JK EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014 JK EDIOTSejkedi.org/JKEDI NEWSLETTER (Aug 1-15).pdf ·...
Transcript of JK EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014 JK EDIOTSejkedi.org/JKEDI NEWSLETTER (Aug 1-15).pdf ·...
1 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI
JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014
JK’EDIOTS Development
Entrepreneurship
A Community Mobilization and Engagement (CMAE) fortnightly initiative
Innovation
M inds tossed, throats dry, lips parched, stomach growling
and above all the long hot afternoons is what Muslims
braved to gain the fruit of ‘season of goodness’, the
month of piety, patience, forgiveness and divine bless-
ings.
Ramadhan is over and will be marked by Eid-ul-Fitr when people
thank Almighty for the help and strength He gave them throughout
the month to practice self-control.
As Ramadhan just concludes (almost), Ediots, in their unique way,
bid farewell to this blessed month of the Islamic calendar with mixed
feelings. Of course, all of us missed many things during Ramadhan
especially food as there is nothing as wonderful as food. But the wait
is over and the hustle and bustle in JKEDI Cafeteria will be back soon
after Eid.
Non-vegetarian thaalis, chicken, mutton kebabs, dal, mixed vegeta-
bles, lassi will be served again by our very own canteen boy Nisar
Ahmad and others at the cafeteria.
Arbin Hassan talked to some of the Ediots about the things they
missed during Ramadhan and what they are looking up to post Eid.
After listening to many people around, it
was interesting to know that they can’t resist
the temptation to have a cup of the canteen
tea, which otherwise they keep cribbing
about.
Here are the quotable quotes Ediots think
they would be doing post Eid:
Our Chief Operating Officer Zamir Ahmed
Qadri has thought about a different resolve
and it seems he has decided to make us cry
post-Ramadhan. “My Eid resolve is to write
my farewell speech which I have been con-
templating for quite some time now.”
P.S. Bas kar. Ab
rulaawogay kya? Let’s have a cup
of tea at canteen.
“Geyser waali Chai”, “butter toast” and
“chicken barbeque” is what Mohsin
Abrar says he missed during Ramadhan.
“As the blessed month is coming to an end,
I will keep the spirit alive for the rest of the
year. The spirit of eating less.”
P.S. Mohsin, you have lost in inches as
well as in pounds. You are bound to keep
up the spirit. If you are really serious.
Gowhar Nazir of the IT department is
the one who cribs most about the canteen
food but Ramadhan has dawned the reality
on him about the significance of that cup of
tea during office hours. He says he cannot
wait to call the canteen guys for a cup of
hot brewing tea.
“Call 155 and wait for the tea served in bro-
ken cups and without saucers, whatever.
This Ramadhan, I have changed my food
habits, now I will be eating only light and
healthy food.”
P.S. It seems you have been in com-
pany of those eating healthy. Well done
Gowhar. But remember healthy and canteen food can’t go together.
Arsalan Khan of the IT department
is, as you all know, a melodramatic per-
sonality at JKEDI. He has his own script
for everything.
A deep sigh and a slap on his own fore-
head. “Phir se canteen ka Khana. Oh no!
God, I am sure your world has much better
things to offer us. Tell you frankly, I real-
ized it in in Ramadhan only how signifi-
cant canteen is in our lives.”
P.S. Arsi, don’t be so ungrateful, please.
You can heave that cold sigh only on the
days when Wajahat doesn’t get his home
cooked food
along. And in that case you are among the
first to rush to the canteen and gulp down
quickly whatever is placed in front of you.
Ishrat Nazir of the SFI is the most
soft spoken soul around. But when it comes
to that hot cup of tea she just cannot can-
not hide her emotions. She confesses she
has missed that cup of tea with her col-
leagues for which they never go dutch.
Instead they would leave it to a “lucky”
draw of chits to see who foots the bill.
“Shall keep up the tradition of taking
out chits to see who orders the tea.”
P.S. Nanhi si jaan, only tea won’t do! You need to take something
solid. Learn how to eat healthy from your colleague across the desk. (Continued on Page 2)
Eid and the Ediots
2 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI
JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014
Now we know who among us all are seen in
the canteen so frequently. Mueed Syed is
keeping up with his IT circle. He is also miss-
ing the canteen tea with his IT colleagues in
the canteen.
“I missed the morning evening tea with my
colleagues. But I know I will miss Ramadhan
and everything about it especially the congre-
gational prayers which will be fairly impossi-
ble to see after Eid.”
P.S. Syed, you know it better. If you want
the crowd to gather for the prayers, all you
need to do is snap the internet connectivity
during prayer time to humiliate our enemy
(satan)
Our HR head, Syed Firdous Bukhari,
realizes the bottom up reality. He knows it is
not going to be canteen food immediately after
Eid because Eid spillovers will last for several
days if not weeks.
“I am eagerly waiting for the canteen to re-
open. But for the first five to six days after Eid
(there will be) no chicken, no kebabs from
JKEDI canteen, all from the refrigerator at
home.”
P.S. If canteen suffices your tea thirst only,
that’s enough!
Amal Nusrat is a new Ediot but has al-
ready jelled in within the circle so strongly.
Juma juma aath din hue join kare but it
seems she has been around for ages. She is
the girl of action like her name.
“I am a big tea junky, so I should get a chance
to have tea with people around or roam out-
side to see who can accompany me to the
canteen. I will treat people.
P.S. Ahem ahem! Amal, this has gone on
record now. You just cannot escape. There is
no dearth of people wanting to have a free
cup of tea. And also don’t forget that CMAE
Central is around and we love tea. Amal
daraamad rehna
apney qowl o qarar par.
Faheem Malik may come of as a hard-
working guy whose only worship is to work.
But when it comes to JKEDIOTS poly-
graph test, he was among the first to spill the
beans on where he spends office hours. No
surprises for CMAE Central here.
“The quick way to relax is to have a cup of
tea, so I will punch and rush to hostel can-
teen whenever I feel like resting and taking
off from the routine.”
P.S. Faheem canteen has shifted to the
other part of this world. Please keep an auto
-rickshaw fare with you if you want to travel there so frequently. You
are already limping with your torn up liga-
ment. We don’t want you to hurt yourself
more.
Aarif Nabi usually doesn’t shy away from
speaking his heart out, not only about him-
self but also about the Ediots who frequently
cross over to the joinery mill for a puff of
nicotine. He kept with the habit of speaking
the truth when he spoke with the JKEDIOTS.
“It will be fun again having tea with my col-
leagues and the feeling of boredom and
sleepiness will be over. People will be seen
crossing the highway frequently.”
P.S. Aarif keep away from those crossing the border line for that bad
habit. They won’t spare you now for revealing their deeply kept secret.
You may have to pay for it.
It seems 29 days of fasting where not
enough for Iftikhar Bashir. He is crav-
ing for more.
“Will keep fast for the six days of the
next month of Shawaal ul Mukarram. Phir
toh aate he chai order karenge and will
keep sipping. But only if all goes well with
canteen’s Nisar.”
P.S. Iftikhar! Don’t delay the order
even if delays occur in your assignment
deadlines. Why wait to arrive in office.
You can order your first cup of the day
from home and by the time you are in of-
fice, Nisar will serve you tea.
Shabeer Majeed of the BASS team is unarguably the most serious
person around at JKEDI. He has resolved
not to be late to the office (anymore) and
we know he is firm with his commitments
be it about punctuality with the office or
office tea,
“Ramadhan instills discipline into our
lives thus shaping our behavioral traits.
Post Eid I will be office on time, settle
down and call 155 for a cup of tea.”
P.S. Azmat is gone, now in whose name
will you order tea Shabeer?
Ambreen Altaf was recently trans-
ferred from
her district posting in Ganderbal to head-
quarters in Pampore and she is really ex-
cited about the canteen culture at JKEDI
and is eagerly waiting to spend time with
other Ediots in the cafeteria shifted to the
hostel complex.
“I am really excited to have my first
lunch at new canteen and experience the
change.”
P.S. Ambreen, there are lots of other
things that you will need to experience at
headquarters. Pampore is not about food
and gatherings only.
Saba Nazir is a known plain speaking
Ediot at JKEDI. She says she is not too fond
of tea but then she also sips a cup or two on
daily basis.
She is also aware of the fact that most of
the Ediots tirelessly speaking not in favour of
the canteen food and the quality of service
that the cafeteria management has instilled
there.
“Well despite so many complaints about
quality of tea served at canteen, most of the
Ediots are in love with it. Fairoze goes on re-
ceiving complaints and Mehraj keeps ignoring
them.”
Saba is right. The complaints may not be
off the mark but that doesn’t stop Ediots from gathering at the place and
come together in a show of unity.
Ediots, it’s time to bid adieu to Ramadhan and keep praying to have a
chance of experiencing another month of fasting next year. Have a great
Eid everyone and may Allah accept our prayers.
And by the way our pay day has been advanced by two days so that we
are able to meet our Eid expenses. Ediots it surely doesn’t mean we go on
a spending spree. Remember we have one full month and don’t let August
be harsh to you.
3 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI
JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014
I left the college principal’s chamber
along with my colleague and headed
towards the ‘smart classroom’ for an-
other Structured Awareness Pro-
gramme (SAP).
The hallway, of course lacking a red car-
pet, leading to the ‘smart classroom’ was too
long for me to tread alone as young, ener-
getic faces greeted me from all sides.
Wait! Did I say ‘greeted’ me?
Actually they gazed at
me wondering what this
hunk, in casuals, is doing
in a women’s college.
But I swear I don’t
remember even a single
face because all of them
were white. I mean they
were dressed in white.
Bachtay bachatay we
reached middle of the
college hallway where I
couldn’t believe my eyes
as a white army of girls,
going in opposite direc-
tion, almost blocked our way.
My colleague managed to clear the block-
ade, but poor me, I mistook a girl as my
neighbour and before I could open my
mouth I lost sight of my companion.
And then rest is an ordeal not a story
with fun.
Carrying a backpack and microplan simu-
lation kit, I struggled to cross the beautiful
white barrier in the hallway.
I took out my phone and called my col-
league. “Hello Shaeeb, where are you?
Which direction are you in. I think I got
stuck here near this chemistry lab.”
Shaeeb replied:“Take the straight path.”
Owing to my shyness, I hung up the call
and started to walk again.
I found myself completely lost.
Oh my God! Why are these ‘girls studying
in a women’s college’ staring at me? How
will I handle such participants in the SAP?
Hesitant but conscious, I took a pan shot
(a video camera movement) over another
group of ‘girls studying in a women’s college’
sitting in one of the lawns, gossiping and
enjoying ice creams, American style potato
chips, Rani juices etc etc.
The pan stopped as somebody slightly
pushed me. I turned around to see who is
giving me this respect and saw a little girl
smiling at me.
“Sorry,” she said.
And I uttered the routine stuff. “It is ok.”
As she was leaving, I asked her about the
location of ‘smart classroom’.
“Aap straight jaa kar, left lelo.” she said
and I thanked her with a smile.
I moved ahead and my gaze stopped at a
door wherein it was written “Please take off
your shoes”.
This should be the ‘smart classroom’. I
talked to myself and loosened the shoe laces.
My colleague appeared on the scene and
seeing my condition he said. “Where were
you sirji. It was just close to principal’s
chamber?”
Dude, are we here to watch a movie? I
asked myself as I stepped inside the class-
room.
More than 60 uniform clad girls packed
in a 12/12 room fitted with a modern projec-
tor screen displaying “My Computer”.
Everybody looking at JKEDI team
(Ishfaq, Shaeeb and Gautam), artificial
smiles greeting us we just stood in front of
the young white crowd.
(There was no space even to adjust one
more chair.)
Seeing some girls sitting on the floor I too
preferred to wait on green unitex matting till
my turn to address the students.
And then finally the moment came when
my name was announced to deliver few
power point presentations regarding entre-
preneurship.
The PPTs went smooth and I tried to
make them laugh by citing relevant exam-
ples.
It was the time for simulations and we
shifted to a not so smart classroom this
time. More students joined the original
group. Believe me this time the simulation
wasn’t as smooth as I would normally ex-
pect.
Is this the college where police keeps
guard outside the gate and doesn’t allow
boys to roam near?
Can a group of girls
turn such an unmanage-
able crowd? I kept think-
ing about it. Simulation,
though the toughest so far
in SAPs, was finally over
with some good results.
We had some innovative
products in hand.
“Sir hum logoon ne aaj
tak class mein kabi itna
enjoy nahi kiya. Thank
you sir hamein bohit
maza aaya aaj,”(We have
never enjoyed a class like
this. Thank you sir).
We announced the winners of simulation
and the winning groups jumped with joy.
It was heartening to see such smiles on
young, promising faces of the Kashmir Val-
ley. It was an achievement for all of them
that they are getting a chance to represent
their college at divisional level competition.
For the first time I was in the biggest and
known college of my home district. In my
college days I won’t even dare to visit the
area since I was a shy guy.
On my way out, I came to know that I was
in a college where 5,000 girls are enrolled
for different streams and that is why I lost
my way.
Yes guys I was in Women’s College Anant-
nag, which at one point of time was out of
bounds for me and today I interacted with
its principal and students. And the love and
respect I received from the students was
overwhelming.
Back to principal’s chamber, Shaeeb and
I went to formally thank him for his coop-
eration.
As we were about to enter his room, the
female teaching staff came to mark their
evening attendance.
On seeing us standing outside they
looked at us and asked a helper: “Ye ladkay
yahan kya kar rahay hain”
A smile I exchanged with one of the girls and
said relax didi we are from JKEDI.
Didi, we are from JKEDI Fun in search of entrepreneurial streak part 2
Musings
By Ishfaq Mir
4 JK’EDIOTS— An internal newsletter of JKEDI
JK’EDIOTS Volume 1 Issue 6 August 15, 2014
Dear Ediots,
At this very special time of year, JKEDI and JKEDIOTS is send-ing to you and your loved ones very best wishes for a joyous and blessed Eid. May you enjoy good health, peace and happiness in the times to come.
Thank you for all you do to make JKEDI a true family in hope and love. May God bless you with lost of joy and happiness and make this Eid a special one for your families!
The month of Ramadhan has just passed by. Most of us ab-stained from food, drink and lots of worldly flavours from dawn to dusk to improve all dimensions of the self. That is really a great gift from the Allah to give us a chance do so. And the essence of Eid celebration lies in the spirit of thankfulness to the Allah.
Ramadhan has trained us to be deeply committed with integrity, truthfulness, honesty and justice. However, it doesn’t stop there at the holy month.
The spirit needs to be carried forward and jelled with our daily conduct post Ramadhan. We can only have a better world, a better society, a better place to work, only if we have good individuals and we can only have better individuals if each of us commit to improve ourselves and our conduct and behaviors with our fellow men and
women who are our colleagues. Let’s shun all the grudges and ha-tred and start living like a good and happy family does.
This can surely enhance our potential to have a positive impact on the world around us, particularly in the work we do.
Our ancestors have taught us the teachings of Ramadhan which are to tend to our personal infrastructure of body, mind, heart and the soul. If we succeed in doing that a happy and fulfilling life is guaranteed from the Allah.
From ethical and moral perspectives, we should contemplate the higher purpose and the deeper meaning of our lives - and try to live meaningfully and spiritually.
That only gets possible when we start getting honest with each and every aspect of our lives. As the charity starts from home, let’s get honest with ourselves first.
On this day, let’s resolve to live by the commands and the ideals the holy month of Ramadhan has taught us and at the same time effectively convey these values to others.
May God bless you with more Ramadhans and Eids in your times to come.
Let’s live by the values
of Ramadhan
Manager’s command
PMIS Manager Zubair Lone to Faheem ud
din Malik who is sitting in the ground floor
lobby doing nothing:
Zubair: What are you doing here,
Faheem?
Faheem: Executing your command,
Zubair Sir.
Zubair: But I haven't told you anything.
Faheem (smiles with proud): So and I do
nothing.
Save the energy
Aarif Nabi goes to buy an a CFL energy
saver at an electric appliance shop. Next day
he returns the bulb and shouts at the store-
keeper.
Aarif Nabi: Yesterday I bought an energy
saving bulb from your shop, returned home,
but it does not work. You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No I didn’t. You asked for
maximum energy saving. The bulb should
not because it saves energy and your energy
cost.
Fairoze at a bank
Fairoze comes to a bank with a cheque he
had given to a friend to clear a debt:
Fairoze to the branch manager : My
cheque was returned with a remark:
"Insufficient funds".
I'd like to know whether it refers to mine
or the bank?
The manager could only stare at Fairoze.
Chinese products
Arsalan Khan of the IT department was
asked how can he prove the Great Wall of
China is among the seven wonders of the
world.
A witty Arsalan was quick to answer.
Simple. It is the only Chinese product
that lasted for more than four weeks and
stands strong even today.
The best manager in the
world
Yaasir of the PMIS goes to see his super-
visor Zubair Lone.
"Boss," Yaasir says, "we're doing some
heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow,
and my mother needs me to help with the
attic and the garage, moving and hauling
stuff."
Zubair with a terse look. We're short-
handed, Yaasir. I can't give you the day off
as the Himayat training batch is to start
next week. We need to mobilize lots of can-
didates for that.
Yaasir: "Thanks, boss I knew I could
count on you as I always do!"
Work Break
HR Manager Syed Firdous Bukhari is
said to be issuing the following notice:
“In view of our keen desire to stay in
business, the management has deemed nec-
essary a change in terms of employment.
It will be compulsory to do something
called work in between tea breaks, coffee
breaks, smoking breaks, lunch breaks and
rest room breaks.
The management tends to call this “THE
WORK BREAK”.
(Disclaimer: Dear Ediots, Reader’s dis-
cretion is highly advised for this work of
fiction.
Any resemblance of fictitious characters
with that of your names and designations
is purely coincidental. Please don’t take
anything to your hearts. And if you do,
don’t even think that we are going to apolo-
gise for causing you heartbreaks.)
JUST