jewish standard bar / bat mitzvah supplement winter 2012

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Transcript of jewish standard bar / bat mitzvah supplement winter 2012

Eden,toDavidthewarriorking andhisbattlewithGoliath. You canwanderinthedesertwith camels,asdidAbrahamand thosewhocamelater;playDan-ielinthelionsden,orgetswal-lowed by a whale. Young girls can looktoMiriam,Judith,Debo-rah,Bruria,andDonnaGracia Mendesforinspiration.Kidscan split the Red Sea, play Moses and get the 10 Commandments, bring down the walls of Jericho, wrestle with angels, free the Jewish slaves in Egypt and give the story a con-temporarytwist.Tellitlikeitsa videogame,withallthesound effectsThereare52weekends inayear,andthereareatleast 52themesintheTanachalone tochoosefrom.Withimagina-tion, you can actually make these themes fun.Ifputtingthemitzvahback inisjusttoodullandboring, there are always Jews in sports to kick up a celebration. Theres also a place for everyone toblowoffsteamandliveoutracecarfantasiesand laser war games at Velocity 17 in Paramus. They do lots ofbar/batsandcangetyoukosherfood.Orchoose themesfromcitiesspanningtheglobe,whereJews oncelivedandmadeadifference,thencreatemenus, music and programs to match.Forexample,theislandofCuracaoisrichinJew-ish history, has Dutch-Caribe fusion food and a unique culturethatcanspiceupanyevent. Thesamecanbe saidofRecife,Brazil;Istanbul,Turkey;Cairo,Egypt; Kaifeng, China; Kobe, Japan. The list is endless, If your familycomesfromanunusualplace,usethecuisine andculturetomakeyoureventinteresting,while teaching your child about your family.MorecontemporarythemescancenteronIsraeli and Jewish heroes, and those in the sciences like Albert Einsteinthetheoryofrelativityforthelocalmath genius.Ifyoulikeouterspace,usethecreationofthe world,andmixinalittlebitofCarlSagan,theastro-physicist,withhisbillionsofstars,whilepartyingat aSpaceOdysseyinEnglewood.Jewishdoctorsdate backtoMaimonidesandincludeJonasSalk,Rosalind Yallowandsomanyotherswhochangedthewaywe live.Ifwelooktocharactersfrom Yiddishculture,the listgrowsevenlonger.AnAmerican-Jewishcomedy theme could be a terrifc idea!Youarelimitedonlybyyourimagination.Read your childs Torah portion, talk to the rabbi about some themesthatcanrelatetothecontemporaryworldor yourfamilyshistory.Usethoseelementstocreatean excitingandmeaningfulexperienceforyourchild, your guests and your community.Jeanette FriedmanYour daughter is 11 and your son is 12, andyourfamilyisunaffiliatedand youwanttodoalittlesomethingto marktheirbat/barmitzvot?Oy,are youintrouble. Youdidntjoinacongrega-tionandbookthebar/batdatesatbirth? Your kids arent enrolled in Hebrew school?Yourlifeisabouttogetcomplicated, and you are not alone.Evenparentswithkidsindayschools, yeshivotandotherJewishlearningpro-gramsandaffliations,havearoughtime puttingallthepiecestogethertoappropri-ately mark bar and bat mitzvot.Heressomesuggestionsofwhatto start thinking about.The FirsT sTep:choose a communiTYPlanning a bar/bat is not for the impulsive. Theearliestdecisionyouneedtomake: How will your child get a Jewish education? Thisdecision,attheverylatest,shouldbe made when your child is about 9 years old. Pickacommunitywhereyoufeelcomfort-ableandrefectsthevaluesyouwantyour child to incorporate into his/her life.Try to join a group that offers classes with enough timetogivethechildthebasics,includingasolid senseofJewishhistory,andwheretheyareprepped fortheirreligiousceremonies.Sincethereisanecho boomereffect,lotsofkidsaregoingbebarorbat mitzvahedatthesametimeasyourchild,andbeing part of a community and a member of a congregation allowsyoutoparticipateinservicesforyourchilds ceremony.Whenyouareadues-payingmemberofagroup, youstillhavetocheckwiththeeventoffcetomake suretherearenoconflictsfortheHebrewdateof yourchildsbar/bat.Usuallypeopleliketodothison theShabbatthatistheclosesttothechildsbirthday. Sometimesfivechildrenhavetheirbar/batsonthe sameday.Often,thecongregationwillhaveaformat it follows for multi-bar/bats and your child will be part of a group activity.Ifitssomethingmuchmorepersonalyoudlike likehavingyourchildleadservicesaswellasmak-ing the blessing on the Torah scroll, the prep time and pressureonthechildneedtobetakenintoconsider-ation and so does a venue. Talk to your rabbi to see how you can be accommodated.After the collation and kiddush, family and guests depart for other venues where additional festivities are held.Fromahaimishfull-coursetraditionalShabbat Cover photo: Mike Kortoci photography566 South Broad Street, Glen Rock NJ 07452Main: (201) 389-3524 Text/Call: (201) 639-8009E-mail: mkortoci@gmail.com www.mikekortoci.comSee Plan page 8Time to get readyToday you are a plan(ner)mealservedintheshulrecroom,toa12-coursetast-ing menu served French-style in an immense mansion in the hills overlooking Manhattan, the choice is yours.Therearework-aroundsforprocrastinators.But you really cant do this on two weeks notice. You need at least three months lead time. Hire yourself a private rabbitoteachyourchild.Ontheappointedday,the rabbiwillarrivewithaTorahscroll,performprivate services with your family and guests, and have a tradi-tional(orcontemporary)ceremonybeforethefestivi-ties begin in the grand ballroom next door.Dependingonwhoyouare,howyouwereraised, yourchoicesrangefromthemostcontemporary andevolvingsegmentsofJudaismtothetraditional denominationsuptoandincludingultra-Ortho-doxy in all its forms. If youve been unaffliated, get on theInternettocheckoutlearninggroupsavailablein yourareathatrefectyourwayoflife,andcallmem-berstofndoutmore.Informationaboutthetypesof religiousinstitutionsandcongregations,templesand synagogues can be found on the Internet.sTep Two: one Year beFore The evenT,sTarT Your acTual parTY plans Theme dreamsWhatisthemessageyouwanttosendyourchild?If youcareaboutyourchildsbar/batasareligiouslife-cycle event, try to make sure your themes dont cause a disconnect or a revolution with the rabbi and more traditional members of your family.That being said, there are so many exciting themes thatcanbeliftedstraightfromtheBibleandJewish history,fromthecreationitselfandtheGardenof Wendy Starr of oradell practices torah reading with the help of rabbi Neal Borovitz at temple Avodat Shalom.Mike kortoci PhotograPhyWINter 2012 Bar/bat mitzvahProceeds will benefitchildren in the JCRCsBergen Reads literacyprogram. For moreinformation, pleasecontact Beth Figmanat 201-820-3947 orbethf@jfnnj.org.Beautifulcenterpieceswith a special purpose.For YourBar/Bat MitzvahBrisBaby NamingOrganization EventCelebrate Your NextSpecial Occasion WithBook CenterpiecesFor Tzedakaa checklist for advance preparationThree Years in advance: Join a congregation / book the date for the sanctuary Put your child on the learning and mitzvah trackTwo Years in advance: Select caterer and venue If you are having tellin specially made, order them earlyone Year in advance: If you need one, hire a party planner Select a theme so that your invitations and accessories all go along with it Make your guest list and take a count of out-of-towners Decide how to accommodate them with home hospitality or local hotels and book accordingly Book entertainment, photo/videographers and makeup artistssix monThs in advance: Order the invitations and all printed materials (you may want to mention your childs mitzvah project on the invite or giveaways) Figure out the correct postage for each invitation, and dont forget postage for return envelopes Hire a calligrapher or run off the envelopes on your computer Start practicing with your child at home to make sure everything is cool and that there wont be last minute stage fright or panic Order tellin, tallitot and other items you will need, like an engraved kiddush cup for the child, or an embroidered challah cover Pick out the supplies you need for your childs theme, especially if you are a D-I-Y. Set up a gift registry at the local bookstore or Judaica shop or other stores, and let people know where your child is registeredTwo monThs in advance: Send out the invitations Make follow-up calls if the responses are slow Send people to your website for additional information Create any special ceremonies, assign honors and write your speechesTwo weeks in advance: Final ttings for everyone Conrm all grooming appointments Give the count and the table arrangements to the caterer Get rehearsal time with the rabbi and nd out if you can make a videoa week beFore The big weekend Sit down with the caterer and make sure everything is the way you want it to be Make sure that baskets will be delivered to guests from out of townprepare YourselF For anY evenTualiTY: Make a kit containing aspirin, needles and thread to match the various out-fts, buttons, hair brushes, extra lipstick, tissues, a pair of pantyhose and comfortable shoes, just in case, and any medications family members may forget to take. Put the kit in with the things that need to be brought to the synagogue.Two daYs beFore The evenT: Take it easy, relax, take a deep breath, and drive on Chaos is about to hit Stay collected and focused and Everyone will have a wonderful timeGo with the name you can trustOver 30 years in the Party & Entertainment IndustryOn Site or Off Site. . . We Travel Anywhere!PowerhouseStudi os EastHanoverwww. powerhousestudi os. tv800. 287. 4613 l i keusonfacebook: www. facebook. com/powerhousestudi os. tv7LittellRoad, EastHanover, NJ973. 560. 956049E. MidlandAve, Paramus, NJ201. 265. 9060DJ s VJ sE mc e e s Da n c e r sFul lCoverageVi deo&PhotographySpeci al sAvai l abl eLI VE PARTYSHOWCASE!SUNDAY 1/29/12 12-3 pmPowerhouseStudi osParamusMC/DancerPerformance at1pmPowerhouseStudi osParamusGothamLoungeParamusWinter 2012 Bar/bat mitzvahon theforks!"#$%&'()*+ &&&,-./&0112&345&6718/4519 &&&:1/-&(;&!?? &:542@