jba022010

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Jennifer Burr Altabef A life

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Transcript of jba022010

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Jennifer Burr Altabef

A life

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She wasn’t always the successful, blonde lawyer we know and love today

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It all began outside Kansas City, Missouri

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A city of grace, beauty and…

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… our nation’s first shopping center

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Jennifer loved Kansas City!

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She had an idyllic childhood

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She dreamed her big dreams there

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She enjoyed the usual interests of a teenager

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Bikini sighting!

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She was an excellent student

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Then she left home, determined to see the world

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Despite the glamour

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She did miss home

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But eventually at SMU she blossomed

* Artist’s rendition of Jennifer during her tenure as Cardinal Puff’s waitress

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And then took a serious job working for Judge Estes

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But work was not her sole interest

Pe

Peter Altabef

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Happily Ever After

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For the most part

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She joined a fine firm and began a most successful career

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She had many interests

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Including an interest in justice: THEY WERE ROBBED!

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Deep, abiding interests

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International interests

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Jennifer made nice friends

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And some truly special friends

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Jennifer blazed trails

Fashion Law Section FoundedLocke Purnell Rain Harrell

1992

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Jennifer made herself into a top-notch employment lawyer:

Her work reverberated around the country

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Her work was newsworthy!

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She brought joy to many lives

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She inspired great poetry

You’d have to walk a mile in my shoes

To know the anguish I go through.

Hearts are to be broken minds you can play with.

But souls should never be spirited away, except by God the all mighty!

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Jennifer was a marvelous mentor

And we have the stories to prove it!

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“Jennifer taught me that defending a deposition was critical to protecting our clients. She emphasized that nothing was more important than ensuring our witnesses were prepared to testify”

--Yasue Koezuka

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Actual quote from deposition Jennifer defended for a client:

Q: What did you do when she showed up at your house?

A:  I was standing there in my underwear; what am I supposed to do?

Q: I am not asking you what you are supposed to do, I am asking you what you did?

A:  I am standing there in my underwear freshly divorced.  I just stood there and we talked for a short time.  And then she knew what she was doing and she took care of the everything else and we had sex.

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Some found her inspiring

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She asked the questions everyone wanted answered

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“Jennifer, working with you on a particular case inspired me to marry an employment lawyer!”--Gayle Rosenstein Klein

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Others found a lost twin

“Jennifer taught me that it was imperative that we always surreptitiously visit the home of a plaintiff. Some might call this stalking, but Jennifer considered it part of a thorough preparation. And if you saw the plaintiff’s above-ground pool and emus? Well, that was just a special bonus.”

--Margaret Lesesne

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Then Jennifer joined a new fine law firm and carried on her amazing career. She immediately impressed them all.

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She emulated Martha Stewart (that’s a chili cook-off entry, folks!)

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The case that started it all

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And then she decided to leave the law behind.

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People at her firm were sad.

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Jennifer made this tribute to herself

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Not everyone was sad she retired

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She got to devote more of her talents to other interests

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She rededicated herself to what really matters in life

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Jennifer found time to express herself in haunting haiku

Coursing round the trailer park,Over the stolen Christmas ham,A daily occurrence.

Unfinished beer,A styrofoam (bleep),Golden Corral.

**All references taken from one real case, in the real practice of law. Booya, transactional lawyers.

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And Jennifer continued perform at the highest standard of excellence as a wife, mother and friend

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Today Jennifer Burr Altabef is

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Mother to the lovely Hayley

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A woman with celebrity offspring

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Inspiration for Will’s silly faces

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Party Planner Extraordinaire

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Related to this?

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And this?

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Definitely this

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Visiting world treasures

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Making fashion statements ‘round the globe

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Olympian

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Friend to the rich and powerful

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And the otherwise well-endowed

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Ski bunny

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Tuba Fan

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Northwestern Wildcat

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GOURMET

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Seriously gourmet

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Proud

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Successful

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ODE TO OUR CASES

By Jennifer, Gayle and Margaret

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run in place for showmichael jackson backstabber

how many kids borne

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living in my carletty cries safety award

tony gets point one

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Bear wrestlesEmu bites her faceAbove ground pool

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Felt tree skirtRegister is short

Termination

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Call Daddy pick upDumas County Jail now home

Colleen nay orange

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Rumored ItalianWedding death insurance now

Fountain s*** is lost

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Monkeys delivermanagers under bedturned off her phone

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Crystal loved by shrinkPens in places undisclosedPregnant control top bad

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REO Speedwagon rocksbirthday boy on calendarsunglasses only memory

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Shall I show you howThe snakes wrapped around me

O.J. trial letter

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Produce section manelevator rides ignored

jacket leather worn

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jeep rider simianmike julie red explorer

imagine endo detail

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style consultant hairgreg center universe hers

lawyers 3 and lost

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drink sex on the beachwreaths christmas m streets

green suit NY dude

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Handprint tieVacuum guy

Said it was consensualYou buy?

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WE LOVE YOU JENNIFER!