Jacinto's Autoethnography
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Transcript of Jacinto's Autoethnography
It’s A Wonderful Life 1
It’s A Wonderful Life: An Autoethnography
Juan Jacinto Hernandez
Texas State University – San Marcos
It’s A Wonderful Life 2
It’s A Wonderful Life: An Autoethnography
As time passes one sees the changes that have occurred in the world and within ourselves.
The visions of yesterday and today help us predict and even determine outcomes for our future.
Reflecting on my past gives me an understanding of why I am who I am, while at the same time
giving me insight into what I need to do to make changes, individually and as a citizen. Although
events and experiences do not wholly make up a person, they are precursors and effectors of
many choices we make throughout our lives. Excerpts of my life may foretell where I am
headed, but different decisions to these events could have easily foretold a polar opposite or very
different future. Destinies are created, not foretold.
Family
When discussing my life, the upbringings of my father and mother are critical in the role
they play for my future. My grandfather, Pedro Hernandez, was a hardworking man who came
up from Mexico with his father during the Mexican Revolution to find work. He moved near
downtown Dallas in an area where many Mexican immigrants moved to named Little Mexico.
While living here, he noticed the lack of Mexican foods and products that were needed in the
community, so he began finding the products in various markets and selling them from his home.
By the time he was forty, he had an established store, became very distinguished amongst the
community, and married my grandmother, Socorro, who was only eighteen. The following year,
1934, my father, Juan, was born.
Although my father grew up in wealth with his four other siblings, my grandfather remained
humble and taught him work ethic, but some parts of his life do give glimpses of being
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privileged. My father completed his Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration at North
Texas State University. When attempting to find work in the late Fifties in Dallas, he faced
racism during the application and interview process and was never hired to work. He began
working for my grandfather at the store, and finally took over the store throughout the Sixties
and late-Seventies.
He met my beautiful mother, Hermila, in the early Seventies, and married her in 1971, of
whom they bore my sister, Juliana, in 1973, myself in 1974, my brother, Macario Fidel, in 1976
and tragically, my deceased brother, Ernesto Jaime, in 1977. My mother went into deep
depression when her son of only two days died of health problems. Her life is a tragic life. Born
in 1944, she grew up very poor in Mexico in the city of Saltillo, Coahuila. She entered illegally
to the United States with her sister in the Sixties. In Dallas, she worked at Sears doing tailoring
orders. She met my father through mutual friends at a party. They had us shortly, thereafter.
After I was born, my father decided to buy a house, but needed to determine what area he wanted
to raise his children. This, I believe, is a critical point for my father. One of his final two choices
would be a destination of who we would become in regards to our environment. The two choices
were a prominently white and wealthy area of Dallas known as Turtle Creek and a middle class
neighborhood that was going through a change in demographics known as Oak Cliff. According
to the U.S. Census Bureau, the Turtle Creek neighborhood, in the year 2000, was 11.6 percent
Latino, 2.7 percent Black, and 89.2 percent white. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the Oak
Cliff neighborhood, in the year 2000, was about 72 percent Latino, 14 percent Black, and about
13 percent white. He decided on the latter, stating that he did not want us to be sheltered in a
community that separated itself from the rest in terms of class. Making more than $200,000 a
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year, my dad could have easily afforded to live anywhere in Dallas, especially in the 1970’s. My
parents still currently reside here.
When my mother lost my brother, her depression became so unbearable, that she attempted
suicide. My dad put her in one of the best psychiatric hospitals, while at the same time having to
take care of the store and us. He decided that my mother and our family were more important
than the store, so he sold it to my aunt. My father began his own menudo business that only
required a few days of the week to work so he could try to take care of my mother and raise us.
Growing up, and even today, my mother is in and out of depression, manic and bipolar, with
suicidal tendencies and attempts. When she is well, she is full of beautiful life and one of the
most exuberant persons anyone can know. Only those who are near her know why she is
sometimes unresponsive and melancholy.
Early Years
Through all of this, I was very successful in school. Never missing a day of school from
kindergarten through the eighth grade, I thoroughly enjoyed our Catholic school which is located
in Oak Cliff and is predominantly Mexican-American. I received my first ‘B’ grade in the sixth
grade and was valedictorian of St. Cecilia’s Catholic School in eighth grade. My father always
pushed us to do our best, and although my sister and brother struggled, I had the gift of a
photographic memory that gave me an advantage in school. I began teaching at an early age.
Among other things, I would record stories for my brother on cassette tapes so that he could
follow along with his book. I was a very quiet and shy student, so I was always looked as the
ideal student. Teachers would support me and use me as an example for all to see.
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As the valedictorian in 1989, I was given a half year scholarship to Bishop Dunne Catholic
High School in Oak Cliff. The day I received the award was bittersweet. Although I had earned
all but one award that evening, my father asked me why I had not won that one award. This
caused me to intrinsically question my father of what his motives were. Was I doing this for
him? Why did he not congratulate me on all of the other accomplishments? Is he intentionally
attempting to hurt my self-esteem? It was a small turning point in my life to make the decision to
slightly rebel. I began high school with a different perspective.
At Bishop Dunne High School, the population of students was about 45% Black, 35% Latino,
and about 20% White and Asian. I easily made friends with many of the students from all
backgrounds. It was my first encounter with students from other cultural backgrounds that were
not Mexican. I went to parties at the mansions of my White friends and hung out at the library or
restaurants with my Black and Mexican friends. I began to falter in my grades early on. I was
making A’s, B’s, and C’s my first couple of years, when I was expected to make only A’s. At the
time my father was not making nearly as much money as before, but he had put over $300,000
invested in a food company to save up for our college tuition. Around this time, everything
changed.
A New Life
The year was 1991. Although the year began as most other years with the typical changing of
grade levels, the same friends, a predictable future, it changed my life forever. This is the year
my father lost all of our college money when the food company went bankrupt, my mother had a
relapse of her manic/bipolar depression of which she had to be interned to a mental hospital
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again, and I had to, for the first time in my life, go to public school. This series of events changed
my entire outlook on life.
Halfway through my school year as a junior, I left a sheltered Catholic high school into a
public high school in my area. I saw the other face of Oak Cliff. It was not a nurturing
environment that I entered but more like an unfamiliar jungle with familiar faces I saw everyday,
but never noticed. I grew up in their neighborhood, but their views of the world and their future
were very different. This was a time when gangs were prevalent and peer pressure was very
difficult to overcome, even I succumbed. My morale and enthusiasm began to wane in just
weeks of being in this new world. Students not respecting teachers. Teachers not respecting
students. The teachers and students both seemed to be in their own survival games – the teachers
in the school, the students outside of the school. It’s funny that at the same time their safe havens
are the polar opposites. I could scarcely remember any of my teachers at Sunset High School, but
I do remember them giving us the answers to exams the day before the exam. I learned more
about myself these two years than all of my years in private school. I did prevail, went to
community college, struggled, but continued and completed my degree in education at Texas
State University in 1999. I did not get into the field of education because of the wonderful
teachers I had in private school, but for the teachers I have forgotten in public school.
The University
Texas State University allowed me to see myself for who I really was – someone who wanted
to make a change. I joined M.E.Ch.A., a Chicano student organization that allowed me to
express my perspectives on injustices that I experienced on campus and in this new world of a
university. We began a newsletter that brought different issues out into the school population. It
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caused negative and positive reactions, and was ultimately able to shut down a conservative
newspaper on campus. With a fellow Mechista, we soon began a Latino fraternity on campus
called Sigma Lambda Beta that was already internationally established, but not on our campus.
We gathered other men who were interested and began the process of becoming members. A life
changing moment occurred in the Spring of 1998 when on our way to one of our meetings, the
car with two of our brothers following us crashed into a tree killing both of them instantly.
Witnessing the deaths of two close friends made me realize how precious and short life could be.
I am here for a reason, for I was supposed to be in that car that day, but my fraternity brother
chose to ride in the car. To this day, I am the Texas Alumni Association Chairman for our
fraternity in the hopes that young men with some of my ideals and beliefs will find a place of
community and brotherhood in a place that can be so alien to many. The experience of the
university allowed me to pull another part of myself out of my shell which gave me the courage
to be self-expressive and more apt to giving than receiving. It gave me a lesson for the real
world.
My Careeer
I wanted to return to my neighborhood to give as much as I can by putting a stick in the wheel
of oppressive education that is still prevalent in many schools. The only way to do this is to live,
build relationships, and be a symbol in the environment you want to change. I want to be an
insider looking still deeper in. I came back to Dallas in 2000 with an agenda. I worked at John F.
Peeler Elementary School in Oak Cliff for 6 years. I wanted to do the most I could do with my
bilingual students and help them become the best they could be. The first year I taught, I
developed an afterschool program with my students and parents. I would take up to eight
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students with a parent twice a week to the library in downtown Dallas. They would read books,
learn to use the computer, read with me, read with the volunteer parent, etc. We would also take
special trips to museums, the movies, special events, etc. I wanted to expose them and their
parents to as much as possible so they could see what is available within their community and
their world. At the micro-level, I wanted to make them conscious of their environment, and give
them a vision to change their perspective of alienation from what their new world had to offer
(Freire, 2000). The following year I began the Cub Scouts program at our school to get the boys
at our school involved in new activities after school and on the weekends. I began getting respect
by most of the students and staff at the school as an unselfish teacher who truly wanted the best
for his students. The following year I was nominated and chosen as Teacher of the Year for our
campus. I was also hired by the Boy Scouts of America to become a Program Manager. This
would entail working on a weekly basis after school with five to seven different groups of boys
at as many campuses in the Oak Cliff area. This also became next to impossible to do because of
my starting a Master’s Program at SMU for Bilingual Education. Scheduling meetings, student
trips, camping trips, and night classes became a whole job in itself. I did the Scouts for about five
years, my Master’s degree in two years, and student trips all six years of my career in Dallas.
I was enjoying everything about my life in Dallas. Knowing my community, my students, my
scouts, my colleagues, and being near my family made me content. It all changed when I made a
trip to San Marcos to attend an alumni event with my fraternity, Sigma Lambda Beta. I met my
beautiful wife, Yvette, again for the first time (I had met her before three years earlier). I came
down every weekend to see her in San Antonio, unless I had a scouting event. We fell in love
quickly, and on February 15, 2006, I asked her to marry me. We were married seven months
later on September 23, 2006. Because she was so close to her family, I did not want to marry and
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take her back to Dallas right away. I began working with Northside ISD in San Antonio as a
second grade bilingual teacher in August of 2006. I did not feel at home at all. It was an alien
world to be in San Antonio. I felt like I was starting all over, and everything I did in Dallas was
gone. I was not involved in any programs. I did not know the students, the community, or the
staff. All of the teachers treated me like I had no experience. I did not feel valued as a person or
as an educator. The only satisfaction I received at school was my students. They received me
well and showed me their strengths. We bonded quickly and they are the ones who have made
me feel as being a part of the community.
The Possible Future
Last Spring, I had the opportunity to meet with Dr. Guajardo through my brother. We emailed
and talked briefly about the doctoral program at Texas State University. I was convinced that this
program would give me a better understanding of what I would like to do as an agent of change
for my community. When I was accepted into the program, our plans to move back to Dallas
changed. I decided this would be an opportunity to gain knowledge at a more in depth level that
would give me the will and strength to continue the struggle to give the best to my community.
At the present time, I am currently still working at NISD but with a different outlook on the
school and its environment.
The future holds unexpected hurdles, but with experience comes knowledge. This knowledge
is the springs that will bound you over anything, and not bound you down. I hope to gain the
wisdom to become a revolutionary in the realm of education. My brother and I would like to
form a school in the Oak Cliff area that is specifically designated for youths who do not seem to
fit into the current educational system. As Noddings(2007) states about Dewey, everyone who is
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related to the process should have insight and a voice in its decisions. We want students who
have the will and resolve to find purpose in their lives. We want parents who share in the
educative process, as contributors within the schools and as citizens in their community. We
want educators who share the same principles while at the same time offering new and creative
approaches to fulfilling a promise to students of an education that is not taught to them but
instilled by them and for them. As an educator, I believe we are solely meant to sustain and exert
a passion for learning in our students so that they may become successful life long learners that
exhibit the qualities of critical thinkers.
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References
Freire, P. (2000). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Continuum Int. Pub. Group.
Noddings, N. (2007). Philosophy of education. (2nd ed.). Boulder, CO: Westview Press
U.S. Census Bureau. (2007). Fact Sheet. U.S. Census Bureau. Retrieved November 7, 2007,
from U.S. Census Bureau:
http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/SAFFFacts?
_event=&geo_id=14000US4811300****00&_geoContext=01000US
%7C04000US48%7C05000US48113%7C16000US4819000%7C86000US75211%7C1400
0US4811300****00&_street=3120+W+Colorado+
+Blvd&_county=&_cityTown=dallas&_state=04000US48&_zip=75211&_lang=en&_sse=
on&ActiveGeoDiv=search_by_address&_useEV=&pctxt=fph&pgsl=160&_submenuId=fa
ctsheet_1&ds_name=DEC_2000_SAFF&_ci_nbr=null&qr_name=null®=null
%3Anull&_keyword=&_industry=
U.S. Census Bureau. (2007). Fact Sheet. U.S. Census Bureau. Retrieved November 7, 2007,
from U.S. Census Bureau: http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/SAFFFacts?
_event=&geo_id=14000US48113000604&_geoContext=01000US
%7C04000US48%7C05000US48113%7C16000US4819000%7C86000US75219%7C1400
0US48113000604&_street=3131+Turtle+Creek+Blvd&_county=&_cityTown=dallas&_sta
te=04000US48&_zip=75219&_lang=en&_sse=on&ActiveGeoDiv=search_by_address&_u
seEV=&pctxt=fph&pgsl=160&_submenuId=factsheet_1&ds_name=DEC_2000_SAFF&_
ci_nbr=null&qr_name=null®=null%3Anull&_keyword=&_industry=