VOLUME 2; ISSUE 2 FEBRUARY 6, 2012

IT’SALL

ABOUTYES Written by Women, for Women

How do you stay trueto yourself when you are surrounded byjudgment or criticism?

Read the stories from thecontributing authors andsee where they weigh in.

Our guest writers:

Jill Stafford

Dr. Lara Fernandez

Sherrie Williams

Tricia Dycka

Jennifer Shelton

Liz LaClair

Jihan Cover

Daye Salander

Mary Joyce

ISSN 2162-4283

An inside look at women entrepreneurs and their take on this very subject...

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From the Editor…

Being True To Your Who in Your Business Development & PracticeJill Stafford

Are You Standing in Your Power in Love and Life?Dr. Lara Fernandez

Leaving Some Wild in Your ChildSherrie Williams

Are You a Puppet?Tricia Dycka

All About YES Interview: All About Mary Joyce

Wouldn’t You Like to be a Weirdo Too?Jennifer Shelton

Sticking to Your GunsLiz LaClair

Never Sacrifice Who You Are Just Because Someone Has a Problem With ItJihan Cover

Judge Not and You Will Not Be JudgedDaye Salander

I Am What I Am And What I Am Needs No Excuses …Mary Joyce

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher: Tricia DyckaEditor-In-Chief: Lori PaquetteEditor: Liz LaClair Copyright 2012 It’s All About Yes

AFROM THE EDITOR…As we approach the middle of winter, have you hunkered down to hibernate? Give yourself time to think, dream and discover who you are.

As I was watching my face book timeline roll, I saw a quote that caught my eye and made my heart say “That’s it, that is what we will share with others. Our own stories of believing in ourselves despite what others may say or do.”

Do you think it is easy to be yourself in the face of derision, contempt and just plain indifference? I for one will be the first to say HELL NO! It does get easier and then comes the point where you truly do not care what others may say because who you are, have become, and on the way to

becoming means more to you than anything they have to say. Really would you consider changing to make someone else happy? Think about that.

My hope is that in one of the following stories you will recognize that similar situation that has been plaguing you to the point of distraction and know that others have been where you are today. They have survived, pushed beyond the situation and even flourished. My point is, despite what you feel there may be a lot of crap going on in your life, it is your life and you can

choose how you want to be and how you want to live it.

Live it fully and do not let others stop you or bring you down. You are you the only You in this world. Be proud of it!!!! Nobody else can fill your shoes!

That’s it,that is what we will share with others. Our own stories of believing in ourselves despite what others may say or do.

Being True To Your Who in Your Business Development and Practiceby Jill Stafford

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Being true to your who requires conscious awareness and connectedness to who you really are at your core. Your core is where you live when no one else is watching. This is the place where the truth cannot hide and your passions reside. An expression of your core are the values you choose to live by, but be mindful if something feels off in your life because it is likely that a core value is being disrespected.

At times like this it is necessary to turn inward and examine what core beliefs are running your life. It is possible to integrate other peoples’ values into your core. This happens through our families, or religious communities, as well as our school and work environments. Being part of a group invites a sameness of purpose and while this is a very important aspect of group culture it is possible to adopt the group values and lose conscious connectedness to your values as the individual being that you are.

Losing the individuality – the uniqueness – that is the essence of who you are is especially problematic for the entrepreneur especially when developing marketing strategies. Successful entrepreneurs must have a clear awareness and connection to the passion and purpose that motivates and defines their work. Without this, the work, the service and/or the brand become of jumble of miscommunications to potential clients and customers. The current business

paradigm demands that we accomplish marketing clarity by defining a specialized niche – the more specialized, the more successful we will be. However, this can be a difficult and frustrating process and while I understand the rationale behind this thinking and how it has been a successful entrepreneurial practice, it makes me very uncomfortable. Frankly, I just haven’t been able to do it myself.

Is this just the rebel in me? I don’t think so.

Every time I narrow my purpose, it feels like something is off. At my core I know I am a teacher and a facilitator, a poet and a peacenik, a spiritual and spontaneous woman with powerful intuition, passion and compassion. Who I am is open to working with and supporting an endless variety of people as they define or redefine their own values while getting in touch with their own core, and out of this process creating new ways to both make and meet life goals.

So as I struggle to not pigeon-hole myself or my potential clientele, I also struggle with some of the concrete tasks such as creating web page content and marketing materials. Some days I even fall back into old ways of thinking that I am just doing it wrong. But, this doesn’t last long and I am back to passionately developing ideas and networking with my message – You are awesome and interesting…You have powerful gifts to share that will uplift the people you work with…Be bold in the knowledge that you bring value to the mix…just by being you.

Whether at work or at play each day is a new opportunity to choose to be who we are and live our lives in that truth. In fact, “each moment describes who you are, and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be.” (author unknown) So pick your battles, sometimes go with the flow, and honor your core values to be true to your who. xoxo

I would love to meet you, so stop by and say hello at my FB page Meet Your Goals http://www.facebook.com/jill.stafford.coach

Jill StaffordJill Stafford combines her expertise in Holistic Teaching & Learning with her Professional Coaching practice, Meet Your Goals. Currently residing in Fredericksburg, VA, she enjoys working with adult college students with special needs, health and weight loss clients, as well as small business owners. Jill is highly creative and intuitive and is a radio host, song writer and author. You can find out more by checking out her website: http://vibrantyou.bodybyvi.com

Are You Standing in Your Power in Love and Life?by Dr. Lara Fernandez

It was a typical glamorous day in the life of Lara Fernandez: standing in a long line at the local grocery store, short on time and patience, mindlessly watching the customers ahead of me buying their groceries.

As I slowly and painfully inched closer to the checkout counter, I noticed one customer ahead of me, an interaction between the checkout lady and two Latino men who looked like day laborers. They obviously didn’t speak any English as they tried to swipe their debit card and punch the correct buttons in the credit card machine to pay for their food. It wasn’t working, it was dragging on, and the checkout lady was becoming more and more impatient, speaking louder and louder (like that was going to make it clear to them) about which button to push. Finally, with jerky, annoyed movements- she punched the right button for them huffily and briskly handed them their receipt, and off they went.

This happened so quickly, I hardly had time to react. I was in shock at what I was witnessing, which immediately grew into outrage. Then it was my turn to purchase my food. I was shaking with fury and pain at her and frustration that I hadn’t reacted more quickly, intervening on their part and helping them, since I speak Spanish (one of the men was older and looked a lot like my Mexican grandfather).

So I let her have it. My voice was trembling, my heart was beating fast (I can feel it speeding up as I type this) and I took a stand for those men. I loudly let her know she should be ashamed of herself for being that way with them… that she must be having a bad day, but that doesn’t give her the right to treat others like shit, that I’m going to issue a complaint with the owner of the store about her… etc. I had other customers nearby agreeing with me and nodding their heads.

She didn’t say a word as she rung up my purchases and I paid. She handed me my receipt and said, “Have a nice day”.

I went to the owner (he’s a local man, and I know him) and let him know about what I witnessed. Hopefully, something was said to her.

Here’s my point. I felt good about telling her off, felt like I was doing the right thing and standing in my power and all that—but I did not do it perfectly. I took a very imperfect stand for those men and (in my mind anyway) for all who are treated unjustly. I truly wish I could have done it better, said it faster, responded immediately. AND, I’m proud of myself for saying what I said and doing what I did do.

Why am I even sharing this with you?

Because this may be on some level the same feeling for you regarding you and your life.

How are you taking a stand for YOU right now? Are you moving toward the life of your dreams in a real, concrete way? Who’s got your back when

things get tough? (Hopefully – first and foremost, YOU’VE got your own back and you surround yourself with people who support you and love you)

Are you complaining about how bad it all is, how unfair it all is – is that your focus?

Or are you acknowledging that sometimes things in life just aren’t fair and are downright crappy…but continuing to grow yourself and expand yourself in every area of your life so that you become bigger than your problems?

Here’s to YOU- standing in your power, tuned in, tapped in, turned on- attracting your best life NOW (even as you may do it with a shaky voice and trembling hands).

Sending you love, Lara

“Tell me whom you love, and I’ll tell you who you are

~ African-American

Proverb

dr. lara B. fernandezAfter a short but heartbreaking first marriage, and years of serial monogamy in relationships that always seemed to be exactly NOT what she was looking for Lara realized that by actively and properly preparing to realize her desires, she could change her life for the better. She soon saw the fruits of her time, energy, and money invested in her dreams – she actually magnetized her soulmate, Johnny, to her. With the power of these amazing magnetizing principles fresh in her mind and heart, Lara then applied the principles to her professional life.

Together they created a successful chiropractic wellness center, then moved on to helping others create their own magic and miracles. Blending

Lara’s warmth and magical manifesting mojo with Johnny’s 20 years of experience in education, course creation, and training their fun and effective LoveLaunch courses and programs now help others worldwide to create a life that they truly love with the love of their life by their side.

Leaving Some Wild in Your Child(Originally written and published in March 2004 when my son Justin was age 3)

by: Sherrie Williams

It is another day in the life of the Puffer household. It is a full life. Full of love, laughter, energy and passion. It is also a challenging life, thanks to the gift of my eight year old son Justin, whom I can happily say is personally responsible for 50% of the love and laughter, and at least 85% responsible for the energy and passion that infuses my home and my life.

My little volcano of seething human emotion never sets his sails at half mast. No, instead he braves the tempest of the hurricane inside his 65lb body sails unfurled, with all the bravado of Blackbeard himself. His chubby freckled face is always set in a state of intense purpose, as if driven by forces beyond his or our understanding or control. His turquoise blue eyes sparkle with the passion that drives his every thought, emotion and mood.

His mouth is always set somewhere between a precocious grin and the grim determination to fight the next battle. When he smiles, as many a teacher can attest, you find yourself in the presence of a light so bright coming from his eyes it is enough to blind you, and you haven’t been hugged until this little Don Juan enfolds you in a hug so strong and true you feel yourself gasping for air.

This is the light of my life that if the pressures that be and society as a whole had their way, would be dimmed or exterminated, all in the name of “equal complacency” and efficiency.

Yes I am among the multitude of parents out there being milled around like cattle through pens in the maze of physicians, psychiatrists and counselors to find the appropriate therapy and tranquilizer to calm their wayward offspring, and yes, for one month I allowed myself and my son to be reigned in.

Well no more! I plan on bucking and rearing right alongside my little bronco who refuses to be broken.

My husband and I and my other three children have been often unwilling participants in this battle for my son’s spirit, but they all remain steadfast that despite the enormous strain on them and myself, they prefer that Justin be left the way he is.

With the help of enormous emotional support from them and my family, and the stringent and loving instruction of their sense in Tae Kwan Do; and my own God given gifts of grit and determination; thanks to my own ADHD, my son and I will brave the stormy seas of this “extraness of spirit” , and we will reach our destined port safely though a little weathered.

Watching my son’s struggles with this creature called ADHD, and a learning disability in the area of reading and language, I am reminded of a tiger I once saw in a zoo. He was a magnificent animal. Wild and unrestrained within himself, but bristling with pent up hostility and frustration at the society that sought to cage him in for the purpose of safely observing him. He paced the confines of his cage where the full glory of his speed and power could never be reached or observed.

You must fight fire with fire and energy with energy. The school system is no longer equipped to do this and I will no longer expect from them what they do not have to give; and that is ok, because I am in no short supply of either. I am sure that it is no accident that a child like Justin was given to a person like me.

It is going to take a warrior in her own right, in this day and age of spirit squelching and downsizing, to fight for the spirit of another; and I thank the powers that be every day, for the ADHD gifts that I have been given to fight this battle for my child as my mother did for me.

I am more than a mother, I am the guardian of four precious little spirits, and I am the warrior that will see them through this journey called life that has become the battle for “the dignity of the human spirit.”

Sherrie WilliamSI’m Sherrie, a.k.a. wildfire :) by those who really know me. I was born in Albemarle, NC and raised on a farm in Davidson, NC tending chickens, horses and a crop. Father was a carpenter, blacksmith, photography bug and engineer. Mom is a career Real Estate Professional/Broker/Consultant and Motivational Speaker. I have 4 children ages 16 to 20, two are my fraternal twin girls. I have done many things. The best of them is being the mother of these 4 unique spirits I have been blessed with. I am an independent location/traveling photographer and have also over the past 20 years been an avid lover of the spoken and written word in all forms. I was a fitness trainer and gym manager at one point. I prefer to nourish now where the true reservoir of strength and wellness comes from and starts, our spirits! You can find me at: www.facebook.com/riversoftime

Are You a Puppet?By Tricia Dycka

Today as I look in the mirror I see a beautiful woman who lives her life in her way. As I make great strides in my life, I watch it unfold as if watching a movie.

I catch myself rehashing negative comments and situations that I have lived through making me who I am today. As I look back I ask could I have done things differently. Then I realize I did the best I could with what I had.

I realize I love being me and the hell with those who do not agree or have something to say about it, including family. In the end it doesn’t matter, I am the only one who answers for what I did with my life and how I lived.

Let’s go back some years ago. I was on the hamster wheel trying to impress others or finding myself always saying yes to others demands or wishes. My life was for everyone else to run. Boundaries and self confidence were at an all time low. It was common knowledge that if I said NO, one could guilt me into it and I would do as commanded. My fears of being alone, unloved and worthless were high up there.

The put downs just kept coming, I could give you example after example. One that springs to mind was a huge accomplishment in my professional life. I was made supervisor of an accounting department. Excited to share and be exalted, (wow look at you) this was not the reaction I received. I received, “who would have made you a supervisor, and you didn’t even get your college degree”.

Spiraling downward I was wounded and did the beat me up thing along with some self loathing added to it. It wasn’t until I removed myself completely from all influencing factors, looked at myself and asked the hard questions. Who am I? What do I stand for? What am I doing with my life? How can I make a difference?

The “who am I” stumped me for a while because I let everyone’s wishes and wants for me paramount. I truly didn’t know what I wanted or what I stood for. It wasn’t until those pieces fell into place that realized I was proud of “who I am”, knowing that growth is an ever changing constantly evolving process. Of which I am totally OK with. I have fun with it.

What I did notice was as I discovered more about myself and was trying new experiences, other people became very uncomfortable. The negative comments flew, the nods of disapproval kept coming, yet I stayed my path. I knew that the person I was getting to know was one I really liked and wished to spend more time with.

This led to distancing of some people who I was very close with. There was no falling out it was just something that needed to happen on its own. As I put my boundaries in place to show all those around me, as well as myself, that I truly am worthy and it is time for me to shine brought outrage and discomfort for others.

My feelings were easily hurt. Couldn’t they see the wonderful person I am? It took some time for me to realize what was happening. All of their issues were being brought to the surface and I was unwilling to become the puppet so that the puppet masters felt in control again.

My wish for you is to love yourself for who are and what you stand for. Letting others control, manipulate or discourage you is not self love. Sometimes we need to go through the pain of releasing others from us so that we may truly shine and become what we are meant to.

Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.

tricia dyckaTricia is an Entrepreneur, life enthusiast, author, intuitive, funny, very candid, great listener. Take the path less traveled. Living in the moment. Enjoys massive amounts of chocolate and coffee. Supportive friend who is there for you when everyone else has abandoned you and thinks you have lost your mind. Encourages entrepreneurs to embrace themselves so they can create an environment that supports their dreams. You can find me at www.triciadycka.com

We asked mary questions about her business, family interaction, lessons learned, etc. We felt that since mary is one of our contributing writers, you would want to know more about her — what makes her and response-ability coaching tick.

YES: Mary, before we get in to the whys and wherefores, explain to us – just what is Response-Ability Coaching?

MJ: It’s about teaching others how to fully stand in their power by taking responsibility for the choices they make in life and how their behavior affects their outcomes. The law of polarity, of cause and effect. Once you recognize how your choices and behaviors, create your own reality, you can then begin designing your life and make massive leaps in your progress. When you give up the blaming and complaining and become a problem solver and action taker, you quickly build momentum. It also brings you into integrity. For me honesty is one of my highest values, I remember being at school and if I did something wrong and the teacher would say “Who did that?” I put my hand up and say “it was me.” And do you know what happened? They’d congratulate me for my honesty and that would be the end of it while others would choose to deny wrong doing thus creating a huge drama that would drag on unnecessarily. When we take responsibility for our actions and behaviors we can choose our course and not be blown about from one drama to the next.

YES: You’ve told us that you’re Mum to two beautiful children, what possessed you to start your business? Why did you become an entrepreneur?

MJ: Because of the children I wanted to create a business that would allow me to work around, and not impinge on family life. I am also always buzzing with new ideas and see things differently, being a left handed, right brained kinda person. I have a skill for spotting opportunities everywhere so working for a boss was too restrictive and I always felt like my wings had been clipped.

ALL ABOUT YES INTERVIEW:

ALL ABOUT MARY JOYCEYES: As we’ve all experienced, family does play a part – one way or another (for good or bad) in our personal and business lives. Does anyone close to you (family/friends) help you with your business?

MJ: NO. Hmm, well what do they think of the idea of the business? They don’t fully understand it, especially the children as I do a lot of my work online, I’m sure they just think I spend my time surfing the web. Ah yes, the joys of working via the internet!

YES: OK Mary, what’s your favorite thing about being an entrepreneur?

MJ: The freedom, you get to choose who you work with, your hours, you can work as much or as little as you like but most importantly I get to make a huge change in someone’s life and that’s priceless. That’s perfect!

YES: So, for our readers who are curious to know, what types of services/products do you offer?

MJ: I offer a monthly mentoring program, for those who want to align their life purpose with their business. I believe we are all here to serve and have unique gifts and talents to share, so I help my clients breakthrough the obstacles that stop them from getting

started. I have the ability to look at someone, look at their business idea and see straight away if it’s right for them. I take my clients through a process to discover what their purpose is and how they can build a successful business around it.

I deliver monthly group coaching calls where I cover a different subject every month, there are also tasks to complete and there is access to the previous 3 month’s calls that members can download. Recent topics have included the secret energy of money and how to be aligned with it and getting it all done, time management strategies, what you should be doing and when. There is also a private members group where members can post their challenges and access resources and get support.

I also offer individual coaching sessions. This is where I work with you one-on-one, I only take on a limited amount of clients for these sessions. This is me guiding you systematically through your challenges both

personal and in creating your business in-line with your unique purpose. I’m there to listen and share resources and to kick your butt if you need it. Having someone there to support you on every step of your journey is very powerful and leads to taking leaps in your business very quickly. As so much is done for you, you don’t have to spend hours upon hours researching the best options for you. You also get clarity and get to brainstorm your ideas before making any expensive mistakes. Yes, business coaches can be a truly valued resource – and should be used to the maximum.

YES: Now that your business is running, you’ve been doing this for some time, what is the one thing that really got you excited – made you glad you started your business?

MJ: Getting great feedback from clients, when you have someone call you up and they tell you that working with me has changed their life – that s powerful. I love being able to create a space for others where they get to explore their uniqueness and celebrate it.

YES: That’s wonderful Mary – who wouldn’t love that feeling!? So, knowing that in life we all have to take the “bad” with the “good” what challenges do/did you face?

MJ: Mostly all the technical stuff, that was a big learning curve, things like building websites, auto responders, opt in boxes, html ??, outsourcing, all the different moving parts of a business, down to the boring stuff like accounting. Learning which resources to use, which teleconference or email marketing company to use. There’s so much choice that it can be overwhelming just working out which one is best for your needs.

YES: Mary, what recommendations do you give other women who are thinking about starting a business?

MJ: It’s very easy to get caught up in the admin side of your business making yourself really busy getting the prettiest business, spending ages and ages on your website that no-one visits, instead of focusing on getting clients first, what you have to offer, what problems you can solve for others with your product or services. It’s important to just focus on one thing at a time, which for us ladies can be difficult as we naturally do lots of different roles all at once. Before you start anything you need to start with the end in mind, that was the first ever topic I covered in my mentoring program as I feel its important to know where you are going then create a roadmap to get there. That’s still available for download for new members as it’s such an important step. So that’s looking at things like your ideal lifestyle and working out, how much money you’d need to earn to start living it. Also knowing how much your time is worth.

Break Out of The Box& Learn to Build the

Life You Want!IT’SALL

ABOUT

Written by Women, for Women

does every day seem like a struggle as you battle the negatives thrown your way by friends and family? does it seem like you will never achieve your dream?

Well, there is some great news! you can build the life you want and bal-ance a successful business with a successful personal life.

the Women of it’s all about yeS! are not only committed to their own busi-nesses and their own life’s plan, they are committed to sharing what they have learned along the way.

Join them on Facebook. Get encouragement, ask questions, or just come to rant a bit. it’s all about Women helping other Women to Succeed!

YES: What’s your biggest lesson learned?

MJ: You can’t do everything yourself, If you are serious about your business and want to earn a high income, then get a mentor or business coach as soon as possible. The investment in yourself will pay off, believe me once you are paying for guidance you take heed of it and put it into action straight away. Rather than treating your business like an expensive hobby you want to save yourself lots of time and struggle, get help.

I experienced huge growth once I got myself a mentor and business coach and joined a mastermind group literally within days I’d seen a difference. You move into a different vibration when you surround yourself with successful people.

YES: Now Mary, you know we had to save the best question for last – What does success mean to you?

MJ: Being in charge of my own destiny, knowing that everything in my life is there because I choose to have it there. Knowing that I make a real difference in people lives and being paid handsomely for it.

Thank you Mary for your insights and the peek at your life and your business. Now, for those of you who want to contact Mary Joyce to learn how to register for the service that will work best for you, her website is: www.response-abilitycoaching.com

Wouldn’t You Like to be a Weirdo Too? by Jennifer Shelton

The basis for this month’s eZine was the quote, “Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it.” February is the perfect month for this discussion because the sun is currently in the sign of Aquarius (January 20 until early on February 19).

As you may know from my articles in the earlier eZines, I’m an astrologer. I’m an astrologer with an Aquarius Sun. Aquarius is the oddball of the Zodiac. We like being oddballs. If everyone is agreeing with what we do, or if everyone is doing what we do, we start to wonder what’s wrong. We wear shorts to a wedding and a tux to a picnic. You get the idea. I run the risk of sacrificing who I am just because NO ONE has a problem with it!

Aquarians are also the VISIONARIES of the zodiac. Know the artist Jackson Pollock? He was an Aquarian, born on January 28, 1912. In his lifetime, he was derogatorily referred to as “Jack the Dripper.” Decades after his death, “Physicist Richard Taylor noticed that Pollock’s art looked like a work in fractals, so he checked it out and came up with a startling conclusion: Jackson Pollock was intuitively dripping chaos theory across naked canvas more than 10 years before the theory was even developed. He was testing the limits of what you would find pleasing to look upon; the difference between your ‘overgrown garden’ and Better Homes and Garden. And his artwork only improved as he pushed this limit.” (See Creating at a Visionary Level by Monica Wilcox)

Other famous Aquarians are Thomas Edison, Charles Darwin, Lincoln, and Mozart. Virginia Woolf. Rosa Parks.

Think this doesn’t apply to you because you don’t have an Aquarian sun? You’re not off the hook! Everyone has Aquarius in their chart. Take a look and see if you have any planets in Aquarius. (You can run a free astrological chart at astro.com.) If you do, then, some part of you is a weirdo (I mean, visionary) too. You may have an unorthodox approach to love (Venus) or fighting (Mars) or communication (Mercury). Or, you may have a North Node in Aquarius, which means you are to actively work toward cultivating Aquarian attributes in your life.

Also, if you have any planets in the eleventh house – that’s ruled by Aquarius and will give an Aquarian purpose to the sign and planets hanging out there.

If you don’t have any strong Aquarian placements at all, you don’t need me to tell you “It’s ok,” because, likely, you’re thankful you aren’t associated with us freaks. If everyone were a visionary, society would likely collapse. But, if no one were a visionary, society would have a hell of time evolving.

Jennifer l SheltonJennifer is the founder and administrator of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women, where she also works as an astrologer, intuitive coach and instructor. She teaches undergraduate, online classes in global cultures for Franklin University and works as an education, outreach and training consultant. She’s a writer. She’s a mom. She’s gloriously busy doing the things she loves. You can find Jennifer at www.jenniferlshelton.com

Aquarians are not visionary simply for the sake of being different. Aquarians serve people but in a very different way than, say, a Virgo. While a Virgo serves individuals, an Aquarian serves Humanity at large. Aquarians like to be “alone in a crowd.” We are different than the crowd – fitting in kills us slowly – but still, we want to help the crowd. To improve the human condition. Rosa Parks wasn’t a flamboyant Aquarian but she stood out, and did it for a larger purpose.

When, due to the pressures of society, however, an Aquarian (or that Aquarian part of you) CONFORMS, the greater good is lost. Here’s how Steven Forrest describes a conforming Aquarian in his book The Inner Sky.

The genius disappears. There is no rebellion, no revolutionary thinking. All that remains is one more nameless face in the crowd, leading a predictable life, colored only by a few exasperating but ultimately harmless peculiarities.

Conventionality is no sin. The vast majority of us are inherently conventional people. When we fit in with society, we fit in with ourselves too. Not so with the Water-Bearer. For her, conventionality is a mask. She may choose to wear it, but if she does, she pays a terrible price: the life she leads is not her own.

An Aquarian traveling that dark pathway may have the outward appearance of success. She may be poised. She may be graceful. She may be affluent and witty. But she feels like an outsider, like a foreign agent who has flawlessly adopted a false identity.

The Water-Bearer feels alienated…Behind those eyes, as clear and penetrating as a dagger of ice, there is nothing. Only a missing person.

Aquarian Jackson Pollock was repeatedly ridiculed for his art. He became an alcoholic and died in a car crash, before the rest of the world could catch up with his genius. Galileo (also an Aquarian), was considered a heretic by the Catholic church and lived under house arrest for the last decade of his life. How different could their lives have been if they were given support? How many more contributions could they have made to Humanity?

How many visionaries have kept their mouths shut, when they saw the treatment of others like them? What has Humanity lost as a result?

Let’s recognize and support the weirdos of the world, starting with the visionary inside of you!

Sticking to Your Gunsby Liz LaClair

Wow, that’s a loaded issue! (pun intended??)

What do you do when you have a great idea, but for much of your life someone has knocked down many/most of what you thought were great ideas? You think you’ve hit on the answer, the idea that will propel you out of your rut.

But, because of all those years of having negatives thrown at you you’re just not sure. What do you do?

You stick to your guns! Doggone it, you’ve done the research and this is something you can do AND feel positive about. You feel positive about the opportunity, the potential outcome and above all your ability to DO this. It falls within your knowledge and abilities – why not?

OK, so yes I’ve had many times where I thought I had a great idea and I let a parent, friends, co-workers, family talk me out of it. Only to find out it really would have been the best way for me to go. Hindsight is that 20/20 thing and often too late to do anything about. But then occasionally mixed in is the one or two times I tried something and followed what I thought would work and failed horribly – one to bankruptcy. So, yes sticking to my guns when I started my business was seriously scary!

But, what do you do when you’ve had a history of people talking you out of doing something now giving all kinds of moral support? Getting people actually agreeing that you can do what you’re setting out to do!

Does it matter? Should it matter?

Well, to a certain degree since we are social creatures it does matter. It is important to stick to your guns. It is important to have valuable advice. Just as it is important to follow your heart of hearts. Keep in mind, people have failed in their endeavors – but gone on to do great things. Some people have a magic touch and seem to succeed as soon as they put their touch to the idea – but that is incredibly rare. No matter where you are on that scale – stick to your guns!

liz laclairI have TWO best parts of my life. I’m thrilled to have found my business calling! I truly enjoy working with my clients – the work I do is fun! Check out how I got past my challenges – learn how I’m taking what was a not so good and making it great. I’m a small business entrepreneur who likes working/supporting other small businesses. The other best part of my life? I’m married to the love of my life. He’s very supportive of what I’m doing. Who could ask for more? You can find me at http://www.virtuallyhelps.com/

Never Sacrifice Who You Are Just Because Someone Has a Problem With Itby Jihan Cover

Ever have that someone (or maybe a few someones) in your life who has an opinion on EVERYTHING you do? They are constantly judging, masking that judgment as “concern” or “interest”. How do you stay true to yourself when you are surrounded by this? It’s not easy!!

Its taken me MANY years, but I’ve finally determined that if you’re going to lead the life YOU really want, it’s just inevitable that you’re going to run into a few folks who just won’t (or can’t) understand where you’re coming from. They just wont “get it”...they will try to squash your dreams. DONT LET THEM DO IT!!! Don’t let their strong opinions guide your choices. Stay true to yourself by tuning out the naysayers and tuning into the only opinion that really matters – your own. You are the one writing YOUR Story.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way…

Value your SELF and your CHOICES. When you do, others will too. OWN the choices you make in your life. You know what’s right for you…BELIEVE that and let it shine. When you doubt yourself, others will doubt you. When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you too.

Recognize that when other people give opinions, most often then not, this is about the person giving them than they are about you. We each have our own way of viewing the world. Neither person is necessarily right, better, or smarter. Things are just as they are. Let go of the judgment.

BREATHE. It can get easy to get caught up in everyone’s chatter about YOUR LIFE. Too many people telling you what they think? Take time for yourself. To hear the whispers of your heart you have to be quiet and listen closely. You can’t hear what your heart wants YOU to hear if you keep listening to everyone else’s voice instead of your own.

Set BOUNDARIES. It’s ok to tell someone thanks for your opinion and just move on. With a smile of course ;)

Most importantly, know yourself. When you have a clear picture of WHO you truly are and WHAT you truly want, the HOW just falls into place. You will be on a path that is indestructible. No one will be able to shake your beliefs.

Jihan coverJihan is an Energy Leadership and Life Mastery Professional Certified Life Coach. She works with women (and men!) looking to discover their true “who” and start living the lives of their dreams. Jihan is also a wellness coach and passionate about helping people achieve health and wellness in all areas of their lives. She’s a mommy and a wife, a writer, radio show host, and lover of life! She loves living a life where she can truly help people.

You can find Jihan at www.liveaFABlife.com and www.jihancover.com

Judge Not and You Will Not Be Judgedby Daye Salander

In Matthew there is a reference to judging others. In layman’s terms, it says that if you refrain from judging others, you will not be judged. What does this have to do with staying true to yourself and your core beliefs?

It makes me wonder about the motivations of the person that is critical of who I am and how I choose to live my life. What business is it of theirs? Why do they believe they have been appointed judge and juror? What do they really know about me, what I believe to be

important, or how I feel about what I’m doing? Obviously…Nothing.

When that question is asked, it makes you question the relationship whether that be a friend or relative. What they should be asking is, “Does it make you happy?” or at least permit you to live your life as you see fit without judgment.

Now, I will admit, that sometimes the questions come at you out of genuine concern. In these cases it is not important that the person expressing that concern to totally understand one’s motivations, dreams, desires, and beliefs. It is only important that you can explain, in a simple way what is important to you and

that you are happy being who you are. After all, the person who is genuinely concerned already cares for your well-being and it is not judgment they bring, but concern – two different things.

How can you express in general terms who you are and what is important to you? How much of an explanation needs to be given? Here are some angles that I have used in the past that seemed to have done well, preserved the relationship and even nurtured it. In almost every case and what seems the most successful is acknowledging their concern or their judgment. Validate them first and you tend to take the “fight” right out of them.

I know that you really don’t understand what I do, and that’s okay. All you really need to •understand is that at the end of the day, I feel fulfilled with the work I do. I’m happy.

I know you think I’m crazy for going it alone. You are right, you know, a regular job would •be so much easier in so many ways. Problem is that sure, I could do it but I would be miserable. Plus, I would have so much regret. I know, I could fail but I would rather try than just let go of my dreams. They may not make sense to you but they do to me.

I know I have not made safe choices and yeah, sometimes it’s really scary but damnit, I •wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s just who I am and I can’t see that changing.

You’re probably right but ya know that crazy self-dependant streak I have...I just gotta go •with it. Remember, that’s one of the reasons ya love me! It makes me who I am.

So, you think I should change my life to suit your idea of what it should be? Okay, I can do •that. Will you change yours to suit me? I hope NOT! I like you just the way you are and your choices have made you who you are. Mine have made me who I am. I think we are both pretty terrific as different as we may be.

I know that you are concerned about me and I want you to know how much I appreciate •that. I’m also hoping that I’m not screwing up my life. All that I know though is that I’m happy and I love my life. Ya know, we can just choose to disagree.

And if all else fails…

Get a flippin’ grip! You sit and dare to think others should live by your rules and your •beliefs and your idea of what life should be? I refuse to do that and if you can’t handle who I am then maybe we really should not be in each other’s lives. I accept you even though I do not agree with all your life’s decisions. I am only asking the same in return.

daye SalanderDaye is a bit like a multi-colored coat for over the years she has followed dreams that have taken her in many directions; from graphic design, journalism, Webpage Coding & Creation to clothing design. In her most recent adventure, Daye has given into her love of antiques and the associated history and has become a antiques dealer.

http://JunkboxTreasures.comhttp://Facebook.com/JunkboxTreasures

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I Am What I Am And What I Am Needs No Excuses …by Mary Joyce

As the song goes being who you are needs no excuses. Let face it, if someone has a problem with it, that is just it, it is their problem. Being true to who you are, being authentic serves you better in the long run. The further you stray away from your own values and beliefs, the more unsure you’ll become of who you are, you’ll feel incomplete and your self-esteem suffers.

Fortunately I come from a long line of straight up tell it how it is chicks, with honesty being one of my highest values. Obviously, I have told a few porkies in my time – like telling the kids a fat geezer in a big red suit brings them all their Christmas gifts and that a fairy comes to magically take their old teeth away.

I have always being true to who I am, which invariably at times led to some conflict or disagreements. When others try to influence me to their way of thinking which, if I don’t agree with it then I straight out tell them that I don’t agree with them. My expectation is the same of others that they are honest with me. We all have our own truths. My beliefs will be different from yours, based on my life experiences, values, and that is how it should be. We are all unique, extraordinary beings making our way through life.

I remember my first job when I moved to London; it was in a bar. That is where, when I think about it now, my first coaching experience started. I found myself regularly coaching the regulars. I remember thinking at the time, bloody hell here I am an 18-year young girl from the wild west of Ireland giving advice and guidance to all these grown ups. These were people, who on the surface, appeared to be living a wonderful life, with great jobs and financial security. Here I was coaching top barristers, investment bankers, CEO’s of huge companies, a world away from what I knew. I was coaching them in how to live their lives, how to be happy, how the decisions/choices they were making in their every day lives lead them to how they were feeling.

We learn so much from each, I remember one such regular, his name was BOB, and he influenced my life more than he will ever know. What he shared with me, the gift of his wisdom supports me to this day. That was that we write our own history, it’s up to us to put ourselves up on a pedestal, hold ourselves in high regard. It’s up to us to take response-ability for our choices and decisions and make peace with whom we are and not apologize for our existence.

Three Action Steps to Overcome People Pleasing.

Create boundaries, the higher you value yourself, it easier it is for others to do the same. How 1. we treat ourselves is how others will treat us. No ONE can make you feel bad without your permission.

Standing for something – “If you don’t stand for 2. something, you’ll fall for anything”. Once you make the decision, and it is a decision, you decide, that’ll you are ready to fully stand in your Truth, you’ll attract people and opportunities to you to honour that belief, and all the ones that don’t support you fall away as if by magic – I’m sure a fairy just comes and takes them to the land of “make others feel bad about themselves” but that just could be another porkie pie (lie).

Accepting that you can’t please everyone, and that 3. people like you – like you. The same way we make new friends, acquaintances, we can also outgrow them. If there are people in your life who you have known for donkey’s years and your path have gone in very different direction, yet you still feel the need to maintain the relationship for nostalgic reasons. It might just be time to let it go, if they question everything you are doing, almost to the point of sabotaging your efforts and instead of being your biggest supporter are always giving you a list of what could go wrong. Please don’t confuse these with your friends who genuinely support you and will tell you if you are making mistakes – it’s easy to tell the difference – you’ll feel it – in your body, your thoughts – you know who deserves to be in your life and who has out stayed the friendship.

How to de-clutter your ‘friends’ or frenemies

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of people but if holding on is more painful, don’t you think its time to say ‘Adios amigos’. They are probably feeling the same, so its best all round.

Bring to mind the person you feel undermines you the most – this won’t be difficult they would have instantly come to mind the minute you read the previous statement. How do you feel when you think of them? Warm and fluffy — filled with love and good feelings or did your shoulders drop, with thoughts of ‘they’re bloody hard work they are’ with a feeling of dread wash all over you. If it is the first feeling of love, they are keepers but if it is the second — you need to let them go with love.

continued on next page

A great exercise to release someone with love

Do this while lying down in bed:

Visualize the person on a stage – sitting in the middle with the spotlight on them.•

Imagine them receiving lots of praise and accolades.•

Flowers, Awards•

Really honour who they are.•

Have the audience applaud them loudly, turn the sound up really high.•

Imagine the audience giving them a standing ovation for the amazing person they are.•

Make the picture as bright and vivid as possible, turn the sounds up high and see them smiling •and overjoyed by the recognition and then send them love.

Now imagine your fingers as scissors and physically do the action of cutting the psychic cord •coming from your solar plexus – near your belly button.

This cuts the energy cord between you and them.•

Don’t be surprised if you hear from them shortly after you do this exercise as they will feel it energetically and want to re-connect, if you choose to, the cord will be rebuild and strengthen again over time – ‘the ties that bind us’.

I am I am useful

I am I am true

I am I am worthy

I am as good as you

I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses…

mary JoyceMary Joyce is a life and relationship coach, naturally gifted intuitive, works with the angelic Realm, and Mum to two beautiful young children. She runs a couple of weekly life coaching workshops for women, works with local government agencies in the UK providing trainings in both life and career coaching. She works with women from every background from Entrepreneurs, small business owners to single mothers to help them live a life of Purpose and prosperity. You can find Mary at www.response-abilitycoaching.com. While you’re there, check out her free ebook: 7 Keys to Respond to Your Life With Purpose to Let Your Abilities Shine.