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ipfwcommunicator.orgnews&politics January 30, 20133 published

Jessica Geyer

Mitch Daniels to Visit IPFW

Richard Lugar Joins IU Faculty

RichardLugar,oncethe longest-servingU.S. senator in In-

diana’shistory,haswonsixelectionstothe Senate, first being elected in 1976.He’sdefeatedbothDemocratsandLib-ertariansandchairedtheSenateCom-mitteeonForeignRelations twice.Butthepastelection,Lugardidn’teven make it out of the pri-maryrace.He lost that tohisRepublican challenger Rich-ardMourdock,who then losttoDemocratJoeDonnelly.

Lugar’s not out of a job,though. Now he’s joining theranks of Indiana University.He will be a distinguishedscholarandprofessorofprac-tice of IU’s School of GlobalandInternationalStudies.

TheSchoolofGlobalandInternational studies was justapprovedlastfalland,accord-ingtoanIUpressrelease,“isamajorinitiativetoexpandtheopportunities for international educa-tionforstudents....”

Former U.S. Representative LeeHamilton was also announced as newIUfacultyalsojoinstheSchoolofGlob-alandInternationalStudies.

“It’simperativeinourglobalecono-my,imperativethatourstudentsunder-

stand the economic, political and cul-tural dynamics that shape our world,”saidLugarduringtheannouncement.

He also said that he will use hisexperience as a senator and a formerchairmanoftheCommitteeofForeignRelationstocontributetotheschool.

In addition, Lugar’s senatorial pa-

persweredonatedtoIU’sModernPo-liticalPaperscollection.

“This has been a project that hastakenat least theskillsandmusclesofourstaff.TherecordsarecomingtoIU... inover1,000boxesandcartons ... Itrustthatthiswilladdtoarobustcol-lection.”

Purdue presidentMitch Daniels willbepayingavisitto

IPFW on Jan. 31. This is the formerIndianagovernor’sfirstsemesterinhisnewposition.

Daniels’ visit comes in a line ofcampus visits including other re-

gional Purdue campuses, Yale andChicago universities. According to aletter to students which was postedonmy.IPFW.eduonJan.18,hehasal-readymetwithmanystudents,facultyandadministrators“whoarePurdue.”

“In college-by-college leadership

meetingsandopenforumsessions,anda series of informal lunches, dinners,and evenings in faculty homes, I havecommenced what I hope will becomeyearsofcordialandmutuallyrewardingrelationships,”saidDanielsintheletter.

As part of his visit, Daniels willmeetwithaselectgroupofstudentsin

the morning, as well asIPFWfacultyandadmin-istrators.

Forthosewhoweren’tinvited to the privatemeetings,anopenforumwillbeheldthesameday.IPFW students, staff andfacultyarewelcometoat-tend,buttheeventisnotopentothegeneralpub-lic.

The forum will lastfrom 11:45 a.m. until12:25p.m.Seatingislim-ited.CATV’stapingoftheforumwillbereplayedonComcast channel 5 andFiOSchannel30onFeb.1,2and3.

Jessica Geyer

Lugar with Daniels | Friends of Dick Lugar

Watch @IPFW_NewsBeat for

Twitter coverage during the event.

ipfwcommunicator.orgnews&politics January 30, 20134

Editor-in-Chief-Kristan Mensch

Advertising Manager-Chase Smith

Managing Editor-Hiring

Graphic Designer-Emily Westhoff

Production Assistant-Hiring

Sports Editor-Hiring

A&E Editor-Laura Rosenbaum

News Editor-Jessica Geyer

Web Editor-Michael Goins

Staff Writer-Dennis Barbosa

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A publication of Indiana-Purdue Student Newpapers, Inc.

Editorials are the opinion of The Communicator. The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IPFW, its employees or its student body. A column is solely the opinion of its author.

The Communicator welcomes responses. Letters to the Editor must be signed, dated and accompa-nied by a current address, telephone number and class standing/major or title (if applicable). Letters not meeting these requirements will not be consid-ered for publication.

All submissions made via e-mail will be verified by telephone or in person. Addresses and tele-phone numbers will not be published.

Submissions must be typed and no more than 700 words.

The editorial board of The Communicator reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, style, and clarity. Letters deemed poten-tially libelous by the editorial board will not be pub-lished under any circumstances.

The Communicator is funded in part by an allocation from the Indiana-Purdue Student

Government Association.

EDITORIAL STAFFJessica Geyer

Thesuicideofinter-net activist and co-founder of Reddit

AaronSwartzputInternetpiracybackintothenationalspotlight.Swartzwasbeingprosecutedbyresearchpdfpro-viderJSTORforusingMIT'snetworkto pirate thousands of the website'sarticles.Hewasfacingafelonychargeand35yearsinjailwhenhecommit-tedsuicide.

At universities, pirating is fairlyprevalent. When ranked in 2012 byTorrentFreak, Purdue and IU werefound to be the 29th and 30th mostpiratinguniversities.

Astudentcanfaceupto$30,000inlawsuitstothecopyrightholderforeach file, $250,000 in criminal finesandup to10years in jail.And that'snotjustforpeoplewhosellfiles--shar-ingthemforfreehasthesamepunish-ments.

Ignoranceofthelawisnoprotec-tion,either.

"Pleading that you didn't knowabout the copyright law will notprotect you from a lawsuit," saysthe IU Copyright Tutorial. Theuniversity recommends thatstudents learn the law to avoidlawsuits.

Even a first time offender can bepunished.IU'sprocedureforhandlingcopyrightcomplaintsontheirnetworkstatesthatafirstoffensewillblockthestudent from the network and a $50"recoveryfee" isappliedtohisorherbursaraccount.

The second notice results in atwo-weeknetworkban,a$75feeandareferraltotheOfficeoftheDeanofStudents.

Finally,athirdoffenselands$100worth of recovery fees, a permanentnetworkbanandanotherDeanofStu-dentsreferral.

IPFW's own handbook sets outguidelinesforelectroniccopyrightvio-lations. "Like any other property, elec-tronically stored information, whetherdataorprograms,canbestolen,alteredor destroyed, misappropriated, plagia-rized,"itreads.

AviolationoftheCode,whichin-cludes electronic copyright violations,issubjecttodisciplinaryactionthatcanincludeexpulsion.

Whydoesauniversitygetinvolvedin piracy suits? It's to avoid a lawsuit,themselves. College deterence cam-paignsrunbyassocationsliketheRIAAask universities, which are consideredonlineserviceproviders(OSP),toserve“pre-litigationpapers”tostudentstheybelieve have violated copyright. That'sthecopyrightcomplaintIUcharges$50

for.Theyfindthisinformationthrough

file-trackingsoftware todetermine theIP addresses of violators. The OSP isthencompelledtoissuethewarningtothestudentwiththatIPaddress.

Asof2010,aschoolcouldevenrisklosing its federal funding if it doesn'tcooperatetoendpiracyonitsnetworks.That’saseriousthreattocolleges.

Someuniversitieshavefoughtbackagainst these protocols, saying that IPaddress alone is not enough to deter-mineapirate’sidentity.

Reddit Co-founder’s Suicide Brings Awareness to Piracy by D

ennis Barbosa

ipfwcommunicator.orgopinion January 30, 20135

Do you have an opinion about something we have

published in The Communicator?

Send us a letter:contact@ipfwcommunicator.org

Be sure to include your name, title and a phone number for verification.

The Communicatorstaffisofficiallyretract-ing the Jan. 16 article

“LearnasYouGo.”Quotes from Melissa Hirsch, a

graduateteachingassistant,weretakenout of context, and after carefully re-viewingtheargumentsmadebyheraswellasDr.StevensAmidon,directorofwriting, we have decided it is the bestcourseofactiontotake.

Retraction of Jan. 16 Article, ‘Learn

as You Go’Staff

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As we said last week, we failed inour attempt to show the amount ofwork graduate teaching assistants putintotheircampusjobswhilealsoplay-ingtheroleofstudents.

Asastaff,weapologizeforanymis-usedquotationandforanyhurtthatthearticlecausedHirschandanyothersaf-fected.We willuse thismistakeasanlearning opportunity and an exampleforfuturejournalisticendeavors.

ipfwcommunicator.orgopinion January 30, 20136

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Don’t Lose Your Voice on Campus

Thankyou,CommunicatorStaff

pusthatwelove.The Communicator is very much

an extension of each contributor that

walksintothenewsroom.We’veallcer-tainlyputblood,sweatandmoretearsthan we’d like to admit into the publi-cation,andthat’ssomethingwehopeisnoticeablewhenit’spickedupbythou-sandsofIPFWstudentseachweek.

Butwearestruggling.Even now, just a week away from

unveiling our new Web product, the

The Communicator has been atIPFW for over 40 years. In this time,countless students have been able togrow in their skillswithdesign,pho-tography,journalism,videographyandmanyothers.Thesestudentshavebeenfortunateenoughtoworkforaninde-pendentpublicationthatallowsroomformistakes,encouragescreativityandpushes the limit for those who haveyettoentertheprofessionalworld.Inmany cases, The Communicator hasbeenthespringboardtothoseprofes-sions.

The newsroom isn’t just a placewedowork,though.It’salsotheplacewe hang out between classes and onweekends,andaccidentallyspendtoomuchtimeinside.It’stheplacewherewehavecreatedaward-winningpieceswhile doubling as the place we pro-crastinateandrelievestress.

Mostofall, it’s theplaceoncam-

newspaper is heading toward an end,It’sbeenestimatedbyourboardofdi-rectorsthatwecanonlymakeahandful

ofmoreissuesbeforewewillbeforcedtoclosedownforfinancialreasons.Bytheendofourprintrunthisyear,thatis,wewillbeabout$13,000overbud-get—an amount that would certainlycloseourdoorsforgood.

Butwecannotacceptthatfatewith-outafight.

The Communicator staff is going

to try as hard as possible to raise thefundsneeded tokeep thepublicationafloatuntilwecanfindamoreperma-nent solution. In the coming weeks,you’ll be hearing from us throughmanymodesofcommunicationaswestart our fundraising efforts. We canonlyhopethatintheseefforts,evenifyoucannothelppersonally,youshareour story with others and help us tosave thisnewspaper. Ifnot forus, forthe voice each and every student willbelosingifitdies.Morethananything,weexisttogivestudentstheabilitytocommunicateandhaveaunifiedvoiceon campus free from censorship. Wethinkyou’re important.Andwehopethatintheroughtimesaheadyoustickwithusaswell.

The newspaper is heading toward

an end.

The Communicator

is Hiring!We are looking for

designersto join our team.

for more information, or to applycontact publisher@ipfwcommunicator.org

ipfwcommunicator.orgphotoessay January 30, 20137Protestors gather in the Federal Plaza in Downtown Chicago calling for a moratorium on deportations of Illinois immigrants. Photo by Lucas Carter.

A protestor holds a sign reading “We are not aliens!” Monday, Jan. 21, 2013 at the Federal Plaza in Downtown Chicago. Photo by Lucas Carter.

Izaithell Aguirre, 11, walks with the protest march to

the Federal Plaza Downtown Chicago on Jan. 21, 2013

wrapped in an American Flag. Hundreds of people came to

voice their plea to President Obama to call a moratorium

to the recent string of deportation. Photo by Lucas Carter.

ipfwcommunicator.orgweeklydig January 30, 2013

Laura Rosenbaum

8-9

Whiletheuniversityisexperiencingcut-backsandexpectingabudgetshort-ageofcloseto$4million,theindividualdepartments and programs must con-tinue to keep their sights on the mostimportantpartof thecollegeequation:student achievement. The departmentof Visual Communication and Design(VCD),thoughnotimmunetochanges,hasputemphasisintomakingsurethesechangeshavethestudents’bestinterestsatheart.

LowerenrollmenthasbeencitedasoneofthereasonsIPFWisexperiencingsuchashortage,butthishasnotbeenaproblemwithintheVCD.AccordingtodepartmentchairHaigDavid-West,in-terest has grown significantly over thelast four years. With enrollment nowaround400students,itisthelargestde-partmenthousedwithintheCollegeofVisualandPerformingArts.

David-WestbelievesthattheriseinenrollmenthascomefromthenotorietyIPFW’sVCDprogramhasreceivedonaregionalandevennationalscale.

“The curriculum was completelyoverhauledtwoyearsago,fournewfull-

time faculty were recently hired and anew conceptual paradigm is currentlyinplace.Consequently,ourstudentsarewinningloadsofregionalandnationalprofessional awards. New and transferstudentsrushtoVCDnotbecause wehappentobelocatedintheirneighbor-hood, but because we have become aschool of choice in design education,”saidDavid-West.

While the department prides itselfon this sense of excellence and com-mitmenttoquality, itmayonlybeonepieceofthepuzzleforstudentslookingbeyondtheuniversity.

Joining the department only afterfirst attempting to major in pharmacy,chemistry, computer science and busi-ness, Tony Gerardot finally found hisniche in the computer art and designmajor, a decision that was based moreonpersonalpreferencethanprestige.

“I always enjoyed making anima-tionsandspecialeffectsinfilms,sowhy

notdowhatIenjoyforaliving.It’snotwork if you really enjoy the process. Idon’tknowthereasonmorestudentsareenrolling in VCD other than that theyenjoy the arts and want to enjoy whatthey do the rest of their life,” said Ge-rardot.

With possibly the most practi-cal speculation, graphic design majorSimone Mullin-Leclear said, “I believethe upsurge of enrollment in the VCDdepartment is due to the fact that it isareallyversatiledegree.Nowthattech-nologyhasmadeeverything so readilyavailabletous,designersandphotogra-phersaresoessentialtohelpingabusi-nessbecomeuniqueandmemorable.”

Whateverthepotentmixofreasonsbehindit’sgrowth,thedepartmentcon-tinues to see larger senior classes,whotakepartintheBFAexhibitionswiththefinalproductoftheirseniorthesis.

Whilethedepartmentwouldliketoseeagalleryoncampussometimeinthefuture thatwouldallow themtohousethe BFA exhibition on their own turf,they have not yet encountered seriousproblemswithonelacking.Thissemes-

ter’sseniorexhibitorswillbepresentingtheir work at the Krull Gallery in thebasementoftheAllenCountyPublicLi-brary–aspacethatDavid-Westbelieveswillhavenoproblemsaccommodatingfutureseniorclasses.

Each of the 20 student exhibitorswill still have their usual six to eightfeet of display space this semester,which might change in the future ifthe enrollment within the departmentcontinuestorise. Although,evenwiththe all important space factor squaredaway,theseniorexhibitionhasnotgonecompletelyunchanged.

In addition to providing space forthestudentstodisplaytheirprojects,thedepartmentalsofundstheprintingandmailing of invitations, brings an exter-nal jurortoassessthepiecesandorga-nizestheawardsceremonyandopeningreception.Thissemester,patronstotheopening reception will see no refresh-ment table and their invitations to the

Blending Prestige with EmploymentSenior BFA Exhibition now Targeting Potential Employers

eventwillbepoppingupintheirinboxratherthantheirmailbox.

James Gabbard, a continuinglecturer on photography and theexhibit coordinator, believes that thelack of food will not have much affecteither on the students or the numberof individuals who attend the openingreception, and that the move towardelectronic mailing is one that thedepartment has considered for quitesometime,irrespectiveofbudget.

“We’llstillcreatesomepostersandpostcards, but we’ll do digital mailersrather than printed. Changing fromprinted mailers to electronic mailers issomethingalotofplacesaredoingandit’s justa logicalstep in thedigitalage.Instead of bulk mailers, we’re going todo a targeted mailing of potential em-ployers.Whilethecrowdwillstillbethesame,wemightactuallyhavemoreofacrowdthatpotentiallywillhireourstu-dents,”saidGabbard.

Mullin-Leclear’s senior thesis isdesigning the election campaign ofBarbara Grundy, a local third partycandidate running for congress in the2014 elections. Since she began theconceptual process back in May 2012,Mullin-Leclear has been designinglogos, posters, bumper stickers andpamphlets–allthenecessarytrappingsofaneye-catchingcampaign.

As many of the elements of hersenior thesis might convey, Mullin-Leclear is an advocate of print media,butevensherecognizedthepotentialinchanging over to an electronic mailingdatabase.

“Electronic marketing is growingrapidlyandit is themostcosteffectivewayofreachingalargeamountofpeo-pleveryquickly.Infact,byswitchingtoanelectronicinvitation,wemaybeabletoreachmanymorepotentialattendeesthat may not have been invited beforeduetocost,”shesaid.

The attendees, particularly thoseworking in the design industry withintheNortheastIndianaregion,havebeenthetargetofmanyofthechangestothissemester’sBFAexhibition,includingthechoice to invite a panel of local judgesratherthanasinglejurorfromanotheruniversity.

“In the past four years, VCD hasinvited prominent design professorsfrom leading universitiesacrossthecountrytoadjudicateour BFA exhibitions. Thegoal was to ascertain that thequalityofour students’workwas at par with national andinternational standards inacademe. With successive externaljurors piling encomiums on ourstudent’s work, some even comparingthem to graduate level work, we haveachievedourgoal.Effectivethisyear,wearemovinginadifferentdirection,”saidDavid-West.

Theplanthisyearistoinviteindus-try leaders from around the region tojudgethestudentswork,andinsteadofhavingonejuror,thepanelwillinclude

three professionals of differing exper-tise. Including individuals from differ-ent niches on the visual communica-tionanddesignspectrumwillhopefullysolve some of the problems studentshaveencounteredinthepast.

“I’m actually pretty happy aboutthe change in jurors. Previous seniorexhibitionswere judgedbyasingle in-dividualwhomayormaynothavehadany knowledge of each individual ma-jor.Sincetheexhibitionfeaturespeoplefrom photography and graphic design,aswellascomputerartmajors,Ididn’tthink one person could judge all that,”saidGerardot.

Gerardot’sseniorthesisinvolvestheuseofaugmentedrealitytoillustratethestorythatfollowsaftertheracebetweenthe tortoise and the hare. Merriam-Webster defines augmented reality as,“anenhancedversionofrealitycreated

bytheuseoftechnologytooverlaydigi-tal information on an image of some-thingbeingviewedthroughadevice.”

While Google may be developingglasses that display information aboutthe wearer’s surroundings right on thelens, augmented reality isn’t widelyknownorunderstoodbymanyoutsideofit’sspecifictechnologicalsphere.

Gerardotsaid,“Theactualapplica-tionsforitareenormous,butasofnow

mostly unexplored. The concept hasbeenaroundfor10years,butwearejustnowreachingthepointwhereitcanbeusedineverydaylife.”

Gerardot’s project has utilized hisanimation skills, but has also requiredhimtolearnthecodingrequiredfortheaugmentedrealitysideofhisprojecttowork.Gettinghisprojectinfrontofanindustry professional who recognizesthe time and work required, as well asthe applications his work can have onthe job, is likely todomore forhisca-reer than showing it toone judgewhomaynothaveanyknowledgeinGerar-dot’sfield.

“Wehada juror last semesterwhowentupandtoldacouplestudentsthattheydidn’tquiteunderstandwhat theywere doing, but a judge in that fieldwould. What we’re going to do now isbringinindustryleaders,ownersofde-

sign firms, commercial photog-raphers to judge work. Insteadof one judge trying to figure outeverything, we will have a panelof three judges, each experts intheirfield.Theotherthingis,thatputs our students in front of the

people thataredoing thehiring in thearea,”Gabbardsaid.

Forseniors,thisopportunityistwo-fold,allowingthemtoshowoffjustwhatthey’re capable of while also shining alightonthatworkforacrowdofpoten-tialemployers.Thisimmediateblendingof the university into the professionalworldiswhatmakesthisyear’schangesimportant–savingalittlemoneyseemstobeanafterthought.

a growing interest

going digital

pulling in the pros

“Effective this year, we are moving in a different direction.”

Haig David-West

ipfwcommunicator.orgarts&entertainment January 30, 201310

Leave behind the era of ba-by-faced boy

bands and the sitcoms of our youth and embrace the hairy manliness which is facial hair. Beards are now seen almost as an accessory that men can manipulate to their liking.

Beards have slowly grown from obscurity since the early 2000s—they never really left but are now worn, shorn and adorned. Hipster crowds, music groups and even dig-nified gentlemen now all seem to be growing beards. Beard growing is al-most like a new tanning craze: Some people tan and some people can’t. So even if beard growing is a trend,

it’s not for everyone and not everyone can grow a beard.

Bigger is always better, the longer, more snarled and the bushier equals more appeal. There are many beard colors, shades, and textures- every person has their own distinct beard genetic make-up. Some are thick, some wispy, and some curly some straight—some are coveted while oth-ers are deemed shave-worthy. It’s all about genetics, up keep and styling.

Turn laziness into your own style statement and express yourself in a new and virile way. And if a person absolutely hates it, just like any acces-sory, it is easily removed.

Jack Ellsworth

Laziness is a Fashion Statement

ipfwcommunicator.orgarts&entertainment January 30, 201311

Dennis Barbosa

ipfwcommunicator.org

IPFW Students to Perform at Fringe

Two musicstudents fromIPFW will

be performing at Fort Wayne Fringe(FWF),anewchapteroffringefestivals.

Originating in Scotland over 60yearsago,thefringemovementbeganasanalternativetotheEdinburghInterna-tionalFestival.Today,it’sinternationallyrenowned with more than 20 chaptersintheUnitedStates.

“Thefestivalcameaboutasagreatway to highlight our local performersandhighlightFortWayneasaperform-ing destination,” said founder JasonMarkzon.

FWFbeganasjustanideabetweenMarkzon and composer FernandoTarango a year ago. At the end of themonth, FWF will make its debut at

Wunderkammer Company, featuringexclusively never-before-seen perfor-mances.

Saturday, Hope Arthur and KurtRoembke, the two students who willbeperforminginFWF,gaveattendeesa preview of their performances forFWFattheArtsUnitedCenter,Taran-gosaid.

Arthurisasinger,songwriterandmusicianwhohasexperienceplayinginFortWayne,shesaid,butneverwithhergroupof20-plusperformerswhoarecollaboratingwithher toproduceherfirstalbum.

“Ithoughtitwouldbeagoodop-portunitytoletpeopleknowwhatelseI’mdoingasidefromjustbeingasoloperformeronpiano,”Arthursaid.

The second student, Roembke,

said he wasn’t sure why he registered,butknew thathehadnevercomposedbeforeandwantedtotryitout.

Each Fringe performer is chosenthroughalottery-likeselectionprocess,Markzonsaid.

Roembke pointed out a similaritybetween the selection process and hisperformance: “I was doing John Cagemusic, which he composed in chance,soitwaskindoffunnytomethatitwasinchancethatIwasselected.”

John Cage is an avant-garde com-poser who is known for using impro-

vised instruments which incorporateitemssuchasradiosandproducesoundcontingentonchance.

LooselybasedonCage’swork,Ro-embke’s performance will orchestratethree components to his piece, includ-ing music on a tape deck, film andchalkboardwriting.

FWFwilllastfourdaysstartingJan.31 at the Wunderkammer Companyvenuelocatedat3402FairfieldAve.

Hope ArthurKurt Roembke

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ipfwcommunicator.orgarts&entertainment January 30, 201312

Jan. 31 Feb. 5Feb. 1 Feb. 10Ceramics and

PaintingFaculty Brass

RecitalAtomic Mom

ShowingSilent Film

The Dept. of Fine Arts Adjunct Faculty Patricia

Weiss and Derek Decker will show “details of our everyday contemporary

culture” through their me-dia. Their work will be on

display at the IPFW Visual Arts Gallery from 8 a.m.-9 p.m., and admission is free for everyone. This will be

on display through Feb. 10.

The Department of Music’s own faculty will perform on

trumpets, trombone and horn in the Rhinehart Recital

Hall. Admission for the recital will be free for IPFW stu-

dents with ID, $7 adults, $6 seniors and $4 non-IPFW

students. Children are free.The recital will be from 7:30-

9 p.m.

The Cinema Center will screen this film as part of Women Make Movies, “a multicultural, multiracial, non-profit media arts or-ganization,” that helps to

make, promote and distrib-ute films about women.Atomic Mom, one of six

films the center’s playing for free, features an anti-nucle-

ar demonstrator.

The Embassy Theatre will have an afternoon dedicated

to silent film starting at 2 p.m. This includes Buster

Keaton’s “The General” and silent film short “Trip to the

Moon.” According to a press release, both have accom-

paniment by Clark Wilson on the Grande Page organ, and a Q&A session with a Saint Francis professor afterward.

ipfwcommunicator.orgthenugget January 30, 201313

Meme of the Week: Challenge AcceptedAnother Time-Space Gap Uncovered in Walb Union

DON’T TAKE THESE STORIES AS FACT.WE’LL MAKE FUN OF YOU IF YOU DO.WARNING WARNING

Watchout,Apple,theearly1990sarecomingforyou.

Whatappearstobearandomactofvintage,anothergapinthetime-spacecontinuum was discovered in WalbUnion.Thisisthethirdinanoutbreakof recent discoveries involving the

Kristan MenschformerBorder’sbookstoreandfloppydisks,whichwereonceaterriblewayoldpeoplesaveddata.

IPFW officials are asking thatstudents not touch these phones, orasmanymightrememberthem:thosethings that have fun buttons to pushandsometimeshaveleftoverdimes.

ipfwcommunicator.orgthenugget January 30, 201314

DON’T TAKE THESE STORIES AS FACT.WE’LL MAKE FUN OF YOU IF YOU DO.WARNING WARNING

Zach CrookMichael Greens,IPFW senior,bought “a lot of

McDonald’s” last Thursday and ate allofitbyhimself.“Ithinkthetotalcametobelike$15orsomething,”hesaid.“AndtheMcDon-ald’sIwentto,theywerehavingaspe-cial,buyoneBigMac,getonefree,soIthought,‘Whynotbuysix?’”“Ofcourse,thiswasaterriblemistake,”Greens continued. “I always have thisterrible sadness after eating fast food.Mybodyhatesme,andIhateme.Butthishappenseverytime.”

Zach Crook Irene Soma, anEnglish major

freshman at IPFW,isstillworkingonher“ground-breakingdebutnovel.”“I’ve been working on it for two yearsnow,” Soma said. “My protagonist willlearn a thing or two about life by suf-feringsometragedies,whichIhopethereaders will be able to see and under-standthroughthemetaphors.”Soma has already gone through threedraftsofherfirstchapter,“but it’smorelikeaprologue,really.”“Genre? It’s kinda like a romance, withsomedramaelements,andhasastrongGothicfoundation,”continuedSoma.“Idon’t really have a title yet. I know it’lljustcometomeafterIwrite thosefirst

In fact, expert food analysts estimatethatover75percentoffastfood’stastecomesfromtheself-hatethathappensafterward,accordingtotheirwebsite.However,thistimewasdifferent.“My depression lasted longer than itusually does after fast food, so I justassociateditwiththethreeorfourBigMacs I devoured within a 15-minutewindow. But I woke up the next day,anditwasstillthere.I’veneverhadthathappen before,” Greens said. “I don’thave the motivation to do any of myhomework now, but those Big Macsweretotallyworthit.”

fewchapters.”Soma is reluctant to show her work toanyoneelseandonlywantstowhenshehasthefirstfulldraftdone.“Iwantthemtoappreciatethegeniusinwhole,ratherinsmallincrements,”sheclaimed.Somacurrentlyhastwochapters’worthof plot planned. She just needs “to getthe creative train going,” according toher DeviantArt blog. “Maybe I’ll go toStarbucksandwritethefirstchapter,”shebloggedyesterday.She also keeps a little notebook on herpersonatalltimestowritedownanyin-spirationbutusuallylosesitwithinsec-onds.“I’m really pushing for a 2015 releasedate,”shesaid.“Watchthebookshelves!”

Student Falls into Deep Depression After Third or Fourth Big Mac

Freshman Estimates First Novel will be Done at Some Point in the Future

Looking For:I’m trying to find a girl that was cool before I was. Ability to grow a beard is a plus, but it’s a deal breaker if she can’t fit into my grandpa’s old suspenders. They match every outfit ever, and my ideal lady will rock them. It’s not all about fashion though. Love for Bright Eyes is preferred but not required.

Lost Love:Sometimes I miss being able to look into those big brown eyes, reflecting the world we shared together. The midnight snacks, short walks and bubble baths are some of my favorite memories, and I’ll cherish them forever. You will always be my No. 1 hamster.

ipfwcommunicator.orgsports January 30, 201315

Kristan Mensch Junior No. 12 Erin Murphy took the win for the IPFW

women’s basketball team over the week-end. Murphy got a layup with only 17 seconds left on the clock to give the Mastodons a one point lead, and got a free throw to take the win 57-55. Mur-phy had a total of 11 points in the game.

The Dons were trailing at the start as Oakland’s Golden Grizzlies took a quick 11-3 advantage. IPFW fought back, even-tually bringing the score up to a 12-12 tie after a three-pointer from junior No. 2 Rachel Mauk.

The first IPFW lead came afterward with another three-pointer by sopho-more No. 10 Haley Seibert. The Dons

IPFW Basketball Team Took Last-Minute Win Against Oakland’s Golden Grizzlies

Feb. SportS

men's basketballPlaying South Dakota State at home Feb. 7 starting at 7 p.m.

women's track

and fieldCompeting in the Akron

Open in Akron, Ohio Feb. 1.

Hosting the Mastodon Invitational at home Feb. 2.

men's volleyballPlaying Lindenwood at home

Feb. 1, starting at 7 p.m.

Also taking on Quincy at home Feb. 2, starting at 7 p.m.

women's tennis

Heading up against Evansville at home Feb. 2 at 7 p.m.

men's tennisTaking on Cleveland State at home Feb. 1 at 10 a.m.

Going up against Grace College at home Feb. 1 as well,

beginning to play at 7 p.m.

Rachel Given The men’s hockeyteam met NotreDame for thefirst

time lastweekend.CoachRobbieStar-keyfelt“great”aboutthematchupbe-cause “their coach was our assistantcoachforthepasttwoyears.”

ThegamestartedandNotreDamecouldn’t keep up with IPFW’s defense.No. 17 Andrew Gard had a breakawaybut Notre Dame’s goalie blocked theattempted shot. The first period end-ed with a couple of goose eggs on thescoreboard.

Inthesecondperiod,AssistantCap-

tain No. 24 Chris Treft scored his 21stgoaloftheseasonassistedbyNo.7TylerMason and No. 9 Devin Malnor, threeminutesand36secondsintothesecondperiod.GoaltenderNo.31LarkinSaal-frankhadanawesomeglovesavefromaslapshotfromNotreDame.

IPFWheadedintothethirdperiodwitha1-0leadandstaidthatwayuntilthevery lastminuteof thegame.Treftscoredanunassisted,breakaway,open-netgoalwith less thanaminute lefttolockinthewin.Saalfrankaddsanotherwell played shut out game to his statswith43shotsongoal;NotreDamehad

Hockey Team Hot with Win

would go into halftime with a 22-18 lead overall.

Oakland broke out of halftime with a 7-0 run, but IPFW eventually brought that back to another tie at 25-25. From there, Oakland jumped to a 12-point lead until IPFW was able to chip away at and eventually tie at 50-50 near the end of the game.

The final minutes were hectic with multiple leads and important plays until Murphy sealed the deal for the Dons.

The Dons now stand at 7-13 overall.

32shotsongoal.Treft said the “average number of

goalspergameistwosincethesecondsemesterstarted.”

Coach Starkey commented on thegameaswell,statingIPFW“dominatedinthefirstperiod,andplayedroughinthesecondandthird.”

He also said the game was “a dif-ferent feel, their [NotreDame] teamisahighprofile team; itwasnice toplaythem.”

This big win for IPFW keeps theteam hot as they head into the finalgamesoftheseason.

Jonathan Floyd charges the pick during the game against Notre Dame | Sarah Pringle

Rachel Mauk defends the top of the key | Sarah Pringle

ipfwcommunicator.orgsports January 30, 201316

BasketBall team Goes 1-1 in Weekend Games

The Mastodonstook a nerve-wrecking loss

andanintensewinovertheweekend,eveningouttheiroverallrecordat10-13andSummitLeaguerecordto3-6.

First, the Dons played againstWesternIllinois.SeniorNo.15MarioHinesscored13points,agame-high,while junior No. 13 Luis Jacobo andseniorNo.4FrankGaineseachtookeight.

TheDonsgota9-0runtryingtocatchuptoWesternIllinois,whohad

Kristan Mensch a12-point lead,but stoppedmakingprogresswithjustthreepointslefttotieitup.

With just twochances, theDonsweren’t able to connect off one shotattemptfromthefieldandonethree-point attempt by Jacobo in the lastsecondsof thegame,givingWesternIllinoisthewin43-40.

Tocomebackfromthat,theDonstookontheIUPUIJaguarsSaturday.

IUPUIhada secondhalf leadofup to six points, but the Dons wereable to pull back and a couple free

throwsfromGaineswithamerethreeseconds leftofgametimetoendthenight80-79.

Gaines had a game-high of 29points, and Jacobo, sophomore No.53JoeEdwardsandjuniorNo.20Mi-chaelKibiloskialsoscoredindouble-digits.

IUPUI’s high scorer was Mitch-ellPattonwith25pointsoverall.TheJaguars also had three other players,DonovanGibbs,GregRiceandSeanEsposito,scoringdouble-digits.

Pierre Bland looks over his opponent’s shoulder for an open teammate in the game against Western Illinois| Sarah Pringle

The MastodonssweepedLourdeson Friday 25-22,

27-25, 25-20 and improved to 3-2overall. The Dons ended the gamewithatotalofeightserviceaces.

Sophomore No. 15 Bryan Saun-ders and senior No. 14 AnthonyRandolph had 11 and 10 kills in thewin, with Saunders also hitting .500againsttheGrayWolves.

Sophomore No. 2 Omar Riveradealt out 30 assists throughout thenight, adding three service aces. Ju-nior No. 11 Eddie Rivera also hadthreeservicesaces.

TheDonsimprovedto3-2overallwiththewin.

Kristan Mensch

Mastodons Take 3-0 Win Against Lourdes Over Weekend