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ALL KINDS OF FOOLSby Kathy Wolfe

A fool is defined as “somebody considered to lack good sense or judgment.” See if you agree if this description applies to these folks. • After a voice was heard crying for help inside the wall of a Sweden hotel, firefighters broke into a chim-ney pipe only to find a 22-year-old man who had been trapped there for nine hours. After overindulging at the hotel’s bar, he decided to get some air on the roof, only to fall 45 feet down the chimney. • It was the brainstorm of Maryland State Police to place mannequins in old patrol cars along the interstate in an attempt to discourage speeding. The actual result was a flood of telephone calls from people worried about possible injuries to officers who appeared very stiff. The department’s next move was to place signs in the car windows enlightening drivers that these weren’t real troopers. • Eddie Boyd made a foolish decision back in 1954 when he was listening to auditions for singers for his band. A nervous young truck driver who was earning $40 a week stepped on stage and performed a couple of numbers. Eddie rejected the singer, telling him to stick with his current job “because you’re never going to make it as a singer.” That truck driver was none other than Elvis Presley.

turn the page for more!

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FOOLS (continued):• When a fire erupted in a shed on a young man’s property, he quickly called 911 to alert the fire de-partment. Apparently he forgot he was illegally growing marijuana in the shed.• Three janitors at a California high school were attempting to trap a gopher on the loose in the build-ing. After finally cornering it in the school’s utility room, they sprayed it with numerous cans of solvent designed to remove gum from floors. Who knows why, but one of the janitors lit a cigarette in the room, which ignited the solvents. The custodians were blasted out of the room and 16 students were injured. Of course, the gopher escaped unharmed. • Sweet revenge? A jilted Australian woman snuck into the wedding site of her former boyfriend dressed as a gardener, carrying a bucket of fresh cow ma-nure. It was her intention to douse the groom as he prepared to enter the church. However, he was inac-cessible, surrounded by friends. She instead opted for the bride and covered the poor woman from head to toe. The culprit was chased down and later pleaded guilty to assault charges and was forced to pay restitution. Her actions did nothing to stop the wedding, however, which went ahead with the bride borrowing one of the bridesmaid’s dresses. • Move over, Orson Welles! In behavior that ri-valed Welles’ Halloween “War of the Worlds” broadcast prank, on April Fools’ Day 1993, a San Diego deejay told listeners that the space shuttle Discovery would be landing at the city’s airport that morning at 8:30. Hundreds of foolish folks, carry-ing their video cameras, clogged the highways in an attempt to reach the field without considering that no space shuttle was in orbit at the time, or that the airport was too small to support the craft. The dee-jay’s comments? “I just light these bombs, and then I run away.”

• When a Royal Canadian Mountie found a man meandering down the highway in his boxer shorts, he stopped to investigate. It seems his wife was driving, towing their trailer as he relaxed in the craft. When several bears were crossing the road, she stopped, and he stepped out of the trailer to see what was going on. As soon as the road was clear, she stepped on the gas, leaving her husband strand-ed in his skivvies. The police drove 70 miles before catching up with her. • Don’t try this at home! When an Ohio gentle-man experienced gas line freeze in his car, he was sure that heating up gasoline on the stove would solve that problem in a hurry. It’s no surprise that the fumes ignited, and when he threw a blanket on the fire, the flames quickly spread and destroyed his kitchen.

• Turn it down! A young British man had the vol-

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Cat SpecialistDr. James Olson, Dipl ABVP (Feline)

Dr. Jennifer Olson612 Atchison Way • Castle Rock CO 80109

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Mosquitoes Bring Heartworm Season – Prevention is Key!

Please call 303.663.2287 (CATS) for more information or visit www.catspecialist.com

Cats and dogs can be infected with heartworm disease by the bite from a carrier mosquito. The coyote has become the ‘natural’ reservoir for the disease. Dogs are the primary host for the disease, but cats and other animals can become infected, and the consequences are serious. Indoor cats are just as susceptible as outdoor cats!

The good news is that this disease can be prevented. There is no effective treatment once your cat is infected, so prevention is the key. A safe, monthly topical medication is the best way to protect your cat(s). If you have questions please call our hospital.

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Easter/Spring Plants That Are Highly Toxic To Cats!

The coming of Spring and the first flowers can bring joy and beauty of a new growing season. Easter starts the growing season with many beautiful but poisonous plants. The Tiger Lily is the most toxic. Many domestic felines have lost their natural sense of which plants are toxic and which are not. The most likely explanations are the loss of their natural diet, living in human housing and being exposed many unnatural surroundings and products (plastics, lawns, gardens, houses, cars, chemicals, drugs, electricity, sounds, smells, lights, TV, etc., etc.).

Highly Toxic Plants to Cats:• Kalanchoe (Devil’s backbone, Mexican hat

plant) – all parts of the plant/flowers• Oleander – all parts especially dry/dead leaves• Foxglove – all parts especially flowers, fruit

and young leaves• Lily of the Valley – all parts, especially the roots• Taxus genus (Yews) – all parts are toxic• Prunus genus – primarily the seeds of Apples,

Apricots, Cherries, Peaches, Plums• Solanaceae (Nightshade) – all parts, especially

berries and unripe fruit• Ranunculaceae (Buttercup) – fresh leaves and

stems• Araceae (Peace Lily, Ivy, Philodendron,

Dieffenbachia, Dumbcane) – all parts, stems• Lilies (all types – Easter Lilies, Tiger Lilies, etc.)

– all parts, even pollen• Castor Bean – all parts, especially the beans• Cycad Palms – all parts, especially the seeds• Autumn Crocuses – all parts, especially

flowers, corm, and seeds• Yesterday, Today, & Tomorrow – all parts are

toxic• Rhododendron – all parts are toxic

Many house or garden plants have the potential to be toxic year round and some have seasonal toxicities. It is best not to have plants around domestic cats unless you have done your research to see if those plants are safe. If you are unsure if your plants are safe – research on-line, talk with your garden center or contact the National Animal Poison Control Center – a 24 hour emergency service with phones answered by licensed veterinarians and toxicologists – there is a $50 consultation fee for each call – 1-888-426-4435. There are hundreds of plants that are mildly toxic, moderately toxic and very toxic to cats, dogs and humans so beware of the beauty around us and learn which plants can harm.

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1. Who threw the last Red Sox no-hitter before Hideo Nomo in 2001?2. Who holds the record for most home runs hit by a pitcher for a season?3. What was the last bowl game in which the Temple Owls football team played before 2009’s EagleBank Bowl?4. In 2010, Atlanta’s Josh Smith became the youngest player in NBA history (24) to block 1,000 shots in his career. Who had been the youngest?5. In 2010, Ottawa defenseman Sergei Gonchar became the sixth Russian to play in 1,000 NHL games. Name three of the first five to do it.6. Name the last time a non-American male won the Olympic 200-meter butterfly.7. How many majors did golfer Lee Trevino win during his PGA Tour career?Answers1. Dave Morehead, in 1965. 2. Wes Ferrell of Cleveland hit nine home runs in 1931. 3. The Garden State Bowl, in 1979. 4. Benoit Benjamin was 25 when he hit the 1,000-block mark in the 1989-90 season. 5. Sergei Fedorov, Alex Kovalev, Slava Kozlov, Alexei Zhitnik and Sergei Zubov. 6. Russia’s Denis Pankratov, in 1996. 7. Six -- two U.S. Opens (1968, ‘71), two British Opens (‘71, ‘72) and two PGA Championships (‘74, ‘84).

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soundingofseveraltonesortheaccompanimentofamelodybychords?

4. Whatkindofinstrumentisanangelsupposedtoplay?

5. What keyboard instrument makes music whenmetal stringsarepluckedbyplectrumsofquillorleather?

6. NametheawkwardlookinglargeAfricanantelopethat has a long,melancholy face, large hoofs,andverytallshouldersthatrisewellabovethehips.

7. NamethecapitalcityofConnecticut.8. WhatfamousuniversityislocatedinCambridge,

Mass?9. In what city is the University of Southern

Mississippilocated?10.WhatisthecapitalcityofCuba?11. What Pacific islands were once ruled by

succeedingKingswiththenameKamehameha?12. What is thecommonword referring tokites,

buzzards, osprey, harriers, vultures and otherdaytimebirdsofprey?

13. What do you probably have if you have ahypersensitivity,usuallytopollens,characterizedby sneezing spells,cloggingand runningof thenose,etc.?

14. In what county did Luke, Bo, and Daisy Dukelive?

15.Inwhatorganofthehumanbodywillyoufindthemitralorbicuspidvalve?

16.Whatisanotherwordforthemusicalinstrument,mouthorgan?

17.Whalersusedtousespearsattachedtoarope.Whatdidtheycallthem?

18.What is another term for cornmeal mushservedwithmaplesyrup,brownsugar,orothersweetening?

19.WhatkindofbombisanH-bomb?20.ThelateOliver___________wasthechubbyhalf

ofthemostfamouscomedyduoinfilmhistory.

Answers: 1.Hanoi 2.Hanukkah 3.Harmony 4.Harp5.Harpsichord 6.Hartebeest 7.Hartford 8.Harvard9.Hattiesburg10.Havana11.Hawaii12.Hawks13.Hayfever14.Hazzard15.Heart 16.Harmonica17.Harpoons18.Hastypudding19.Hydrogen20.Hardy

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What to do in case of a pet emergency?

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As a pet owner and emergency veterinar-ian, I am often asked how to best be prepared for an emergency. The importance of recognizing the normal in order to be able to identify abnormal can-not be emphasized enough. Early recognition of a problem is the start to saving a pet’s life. If there are any questions regarding signs and symptoms that your pet is exhibiting you should always seek advise from a veterinarian.

Preparedness is the key. Having informa-tion readily available, such as your veterinarian’s phone number and clinic hours, may help to save time in case of an emergency. General practices will often provide the phone number and directions to the closest emergency clinic. It is recommended that these phone numbers be listed in your phone and the directions to the nearest emergency clinic be readily available. If leaving your pets with a caregiver, do discuss finances and plan ahead for the unexpected.

Emergencies can occur with different types of trauma, as well as systemic illnesses. Any pet that is experiencing trouble breathing, choking, weakness, pale gums, cold extremities, abnormal heart rate, trouble urinating, or pets that are unwilling/unable to eat warrants a trip to the ER. When an emergency has been identified, it is most important to remain calm. It is also im-portant to protect yourself when pets are sick or injured. These pets need to be handled with care, as they may be painful and disoriented. Consider muzzling to best protect your self from injury. Cats

may need to be wrapped in a blanket/towel, or han-dled with gloves.

Pets that have suffered a traumatic event, such as those that have been hit by an automobile or bitten by other dogs, snakes or insects, should be seen by a veterinarian right away, as internal bleeding and other secondary complications can often go unrecognized initially. Over-the-counter medications can pose further illness in pets and therefore are never recommended especially in the case of an emergency or without the consent of your veterinarian. Heatstroke should be considered an emergency, especially when pets are left in cars, tied outside without access to shade and water, or have been over-exercised in the heat. There are medical conditions that may also cause some dogs to overheat more quickly. Heatstroke can lead to death if not treated appropriately. Toxin ingestion is common. Symptoms that may be observed include vomiting, drooling, tremors or trouble walking. If the poison container/label is available, do bring this to the veterinarian to help determine the appropriate treatment protocol. Pet emergencies are often unavoidable. There are some basic things that we can do as responsible pet owners to try to decrease the chance. Spaying/neutering your pets early can help prevent possible traumas, unwanted pregnancies and/or some cancers. The use of a leash to prevent unexpected and potentially tragic consequences can also greatly decrease the chance that your pet will require a visit to the animal emergency room. Please see our ad above Column.

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Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. It is located at 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker. For more information on gemstones or jewelry of any kind call 303.841.2666

Topaz is known as an apocalyptic stone because it will be used to form the founda-tions of the twelve gates to the New Jerusa-lem, the Holy City of God, heaven itself! (See Revelation 21:20) The Romans dedicated the topaz to Jupiter. This tells us that topaz has been known for well over 2,000 years and is a symbol of beauty and splendor. Mystics believe it can dispel sadness, anger, and nighttime fears. “Believers” think it will warn them of poisions and protect them from sudden death. It is reputed to make men handsome and intelligent, and sterile women fertile and happy. But don’t rely too much on those myths because one of them says that if you throw a topaz into a pot of boiling water that you can dip your hand into it and pull it out unharmed. Topaz is a beautiful stone, but I’m not going to try that!

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FOOLS (continued):

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ume so high on his headphones while listening to music that he missed the crash of a Cessna 150 plane on his front lawn. He happened to look out the kitchen window and observed “dozens of peo-ple running around my garden,” as rescuers came to the aid of the plane’s two injured passengers. • It’s true. Smoking cigarettes can lead to lung can-cer. Just ask the families of two men who gained fame on billboards as the Marlboro Man. Former professional rodeo rider Wayne McLaren mod-eled for the ads in the mid-1970s. His pack-and-a-half-a-day habit contributed to his death from lung cancer at age 51. David McLean, who was the Man in the 1960s, succumbed to the disease as well, and his family filed a suit against Phillip Morris, contending that McLean sometimes had had to smoke up to five packs per photo shoot as the cameraman attempted to “get the right look.” • You’re a fool if you believe that it takes two years for your stomach to digest a piece of chew-ing gum. It digests and is eliminated at the same rate as anything else the body ingests. And another popular myth is also false — Don’t store your bat-teries in the freezer thinking it will prolong their life. The Duracell company states that extreme cold actually reduces the performance of batteries.

• Who was the dummy here? A New Jersey sher-iff’s deputy was craving a snooze while on guard duty at the Somerset County courthouse, so he propped up a disguised dummy in his place. Not surprisingly, the switch was discovered, and he was suspended for three days without pay. • After studying a year’s worth of reports of fatal accidents involving over-the-road trucks, a 1994 National Transportation Safety Board report con-cluded that too many truck drivers fall asleep at the wheel because they’re sleepy. Gee, ya think? • Officials at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport concluded that it was important to have bi-lingual signs at the facility, but they weren’t very careful about the process. One sign was to advise travelers to declare all plants, produce and meat, and to warn them that those not doing so would be fined. Up went the sign reading Violadores Seran Finados, which actually translated “Violators Will Be Deceased.”

• What are the chances? In an anatomy class at the University of Alabama medical school, nine donated cadavers were lined up for dissection by the students. As one of the students prepared to be-gin her assignment, she discovered that one of the cadavers was her great-aunt. The school quickly made a substitution.

OVERCOMING THE ODDS:

LANCE ARMSTRONGThe name of Lance Armstrong is synonymous with cy-cling, but it has been no easy road for this athlete. This week, Tidbits looks at how Armstrong conquered the course despite the odds stacked against him. • Born to a teenage mother, Armstrong spent most of his childhood without his father, who left the family when Lance was two. Cycling was not his first pas-sion; rather, swimming was. Joining the swim team at age 12, he swam about three hours every day. By 16, he was a professional tri-athlete and won the national sprint-course triathlon title at age 18 and again at 19. • At age 20, Armstrong changed his focus to bicycle racing, and the following year finished 14th in the 1992 Summer Olympics. By 1996, he was the No. 1 cyclist in the world. In October of that year, Armstrong was dealt a staggering blow. After coughing up blood, he made a trip to the doctor where he was diagnosed with stage three testicular cancer that had already spread to his lungs, abdomen and brain. He immediately un-

derwent surgery and began chemotherapy. He later learned that the doctor had given him a 20-percent chance of survival. • A year later, Armstrong had determined he was going back to racing. The Tour de France follows a 2,200-mile (3,600 km) course that takes three weeks to complete. Each day is called a “stage,” and the times to finish each individual stage are combined to deter-mine the overall winner. Prior to his cancer, Armstrong had won two stages in separate races, the most recent in 1995. He became ill during the 1996 Tour and had been forced to withdraw. • In 1998, Armstrong’s comeback began when he took fourth place in the Vuelta a España. The next year, he grabbed the yellow jersey at the first of his Tour de France victories. Six more victories followed, making him the winner for a record-setting seven consecutive years. At the end of his 2005 triumph, Armstrong an-nounced his retirement from racing.

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STRANGE BUT TRUEBy Samantha Weaver

¥ It was American educator Laurence J. Peter who made the following sage observation: “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.” Inciden-tally, he also came up with what’s known as the Peter Principle: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.”

¥ Ever wonder why it’s called the silver screen? In the early days of the cinema industry, the projection screens were embedded with real silver to enhance the reflective nature of the surface.

¥ Greyhounds have better eyesight than any other breed of dog.

¥ Worried about grocery prices going up? How’s this for a pricey egg: In 2007, a Faberge egg was sold at auction for nearly $16.5 million. Good thing the ones used in your omelets aren’t encrusted with jewels. ¥ Those who study such things say that Americans drink more carbonated beverages every year than cof-fee, tea, sports drinks and juice combined. ¥ A legislator in the Louisiana State House of Repre-sentatives once introduced a bill that would make it illegal to charge a bald man more than 25 cents for a haircut.

¥ The plant formally known as titan arum produces the largest cluster of flowers in the world, sometimes reaching more than 10 feet in height. What’s perhaps even more notable, though, is its odor: The plant gives off a strong smell that is most often compared to that of a decomposing animal. Hence the plant’s more common name, the corpse flower.

A Mobile Veterinarian’s Philosophy

Upon starting our relationship withTidbits and being offered this space to communicate with our current and future clients it became clear that a further introduction was required. We started A Mobile Veterinarian as, we hope, an innovative way to see pets without the stress of going to a clinic setting. To accomplish this we don’t have an RV or a van, we see our clients in their own homes. The reason for this is being able to see cats and dogs in their own environment makes it easier to evaluate the pet. Dr. Steve can’t count the number of times a pet is presented for lameness but upon seeing the be in the clinic the lameness has magically disappeared do to stress only to resurface upon getting home. As well, we offer surgeries and dentals in our clients homes The philosophy behind this is we want our clients to be as involved as they want to be as well as educated. Our clients are all over the board as far as involvement. We have had some people want to help during a procedure and others go off into another room and just check in every once in a while. We love it this way because of situation that may arise that need owner input. We don’t have to worry about trying to get you on the phone and describing what is occurring and the client doesn’t have to wonder either. Our clients love the fact that they know everything that is happening to their pet and their pet is able to recover at home, not in a noisy veterinary kennel. The pet will have Dr. Steve’s and Morgan’s full attention during the whole procedure and during recovery. All of our equipment is human quality. We have one of the best monitoring systems available. Some of our clients that are nurses have commented that our equipment is better than what they have in their units. Because we offer this in our client home we realize it is not for everyone. All of this is in an attempt to bring the highest standards to veterinary medicine while keeping cost down. If this philosophy sounds interesting to you feel free to give us a call.

A Mobile [email protected]

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C l a s s i f i e d

Are Your Investments Get-ting Enough Exercise?

Now that spring is here, you may find it easier to get outside to run, bike or take part in other physical pursuits that you enjoy. As you know, the more active you are, the more efficiently your body will work. And the same can hold true for your investments: The more

exercise they get, the more potential to work on your behalf.

Just how do investments get “exercise”? Through lots of activity. And you can keep your investments active in at least two ways: through systematic investing and dividend reinvestment. Let’s take a look at both these techniques.

When you engage in systematic investing, commonly called “dollar cost averaging,” you are continually putting your money “in motion.” Essentially, you put the same amount of money into the same investments at regular intervals. For example, you might decide to invest $100 per month in Company ABC stock. To im-pose this investment discipline on yourself, you could even have the money sent directly from your checking or savings account.

Of course, since the price of ABC stock, like those of all stocks, is constantly changing, your $100 invest-ment will most likely buy different numbers of shares each month. This can work to your advantage, because when the stock price of ABC goes down, your $100 will buy more shares. When the price goes up, you’ll automatically be a smart enough “shopper” to buy few-er shares, just as you’d typically buy less of something when its price goes up.

Over time, systematic investing typically results in a lower average cost per share than if you were to make sporadic lump-sum investments. If you can lower the cost of investing, this may help boost your investment returns. This also can be an effective way to fund your retirement account(s) each year. (Keep in mind, though, that systematic investing does not guarantee a profit or protect against loss. Also, you’ll need the financial resources available to keep investing through up and down markets.)

Dividend reinvestment is similar to systematic investing in that it allows you to build more shares of an invest-ment. But when you reinvest dividends, you don’t even have to take money from other sources to increase your shares — you simply request that a stock or a mutual fund, instead of paying you a dividend in cash, reinvest the dividend into that same stock or mutual fund. It’s an effortless way of adding shares. Similar to dollar cost averaging, dividend reinvestment imposes investment discipline — you automatically keep putting money in the market during up and down periods. (Don’t forget, though, that dividends can be increased, decreased or eliminated at any point without notice.)

Exercising your investment dollars in these ways can help you go a long way toward keeping your portfolio in good shape — enabling you to make healthy progress toward your important long-term goals.

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MAKE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTUREA PRIORITY.

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Jesus said in Mark 11:23-24 (KJV) “ For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this moun-tain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. 24Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” Many Christians find this verse, begin to act it out, and bam… the devil knocks them flat on their behind. Well what happened, isn’t God’s Word true? Well of course it is but you have to make a decision to defend yourself against the attacks of the enemy. And you can whip him every single time if you will do these four things. #1 You have to make a faith decision to stand no mat-ter what. You must decide within yourself that you are not going to waver, you are not going to be moved until the answer you need comes, it is a matter of your personal will, to stand above all things. #2 You need to resist the devil and the messages he brings to you. Resist the images of failure, resist the messages of lack or sickness, rebuke those things in the Name of Jesus and then focus your mind on the Word of God and His promises to you. Your Bible is full of promises of good things God has for you but they must be received by faith. #3 You must spend time in the Word of God ev-ery day. Our earthly carnal minds need to be renewed, our spirit is brand new, but our mind and our will and our emotions are still products of our old life, our old way of thinking and doing things. And #4 make sure that the only words that come out of your mouth are faith filled words, God has put the power of life and death within our mouths. Satan does not have au-thority over you unless you authorize him to steal, kill and destroy in your life. Satan is not an equal being next to God, Jesus came that He might destroy the works of the devil, he is a defeated foe and never let him forget that! Jesus has already won the battle for you and for me, now let’s just enforce that victory us-ing faith filled words and the Word of God. If you will do this, you will win every single time. And if much of what you have read today is new for you, I invite you to come visit us this next Sunday morning at 10:30 and meet a wonderful group of people who will love you and encourage you. You will find a safe atmosphere where the Word of Faith is preached and you will be empowered and equipped for the battle and where you win every time! God Bless you!

MOMENTS IN TIMEThe History Channel

¥ On April 17, 1790, American statesman, print-er, scientist and writer Benjamin Franklin dies in Philadelphia at age 84. Deeply interested in sci-ence and technology, his inventions include the Franklin stove, bifocal eyeglasses and the light-ning rod.

¥ On April 11, 1814, Napoleon Bonaparte, em-peror of France, abdicates the throne and, in the Treaty of Fontainebleau, is banished to the Medi-terranean island of Elba. He died at age 52 on May 5, 1821, possibly from stomach cancer, al-though some theories contend he was poisoned.

¥ On April 12, 1908, a fire in Chelsea, Mass., at the Boston Blacking Company leaves 12 dead, 85 missing and presumed dead and more than 17,000 homeless. Due to high winds, a good por-tion of the city burned. It took nearly 10 years for Chelsea to be completely rebuilt.

¥ On April 16, 1943, in Basel, Switzerland, Al-bert Hoffman, a Swiss chemist, accidentally con-sumes LSD-25, a synthetic drug he had created in 1938 as part of his research into the medicinal value of lysergic acid compounds. Widespread use of the so-called mind-expanding drug did not begin until the 1960s.

¥ On April 15, 1959, new Cuban leader Fidel Castro visits the United States. The trip got off to an inauspicious start when it became clear that President Dwight D. Eisenhower had no inten-tion of meeting with Castro. Instead, Eisenhow-er went to the golf course to avoid any chance meeting.

¥ On April 13, 1964, Sydney Poitier becomes the first African American to win the Academy Award for Best Actor, for his role as a construc-tion worker in “Lilies of the Field” (1963). He debuted on Broadway in 1946 in an all-black production of “Lysistrata,” and by 1950 he was appearing in Hollywood films, beginning with “No Way Out.”

¥ On April 14, 1975, the American airlift of Vi-etnamese orphans to the United States ends after 2,600 children are transported to America. Op-eration Baby Lift lasted 10 days and was carried out during the final, desperate phase of the war, as North Vietnamese forces were closing in on Saigon.

(c) 2011 King Features Synd., Inc.

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Tidbits of Douglas County

Tim Mundy Owner/Publisher

[email protected]

Published Weekly by:AdsRus, LLC

P.O. Box 4423Parker, CO 80134

Tel (303)994-9683

Send copies or materials to:

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TAKE NO ACTION TO APPREHEND THIS PERSON YOURSELF

To provide information and remain anonymous, call the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office Tips Hotline: 303.660.7579 or E-mail us at [email protected].

For immediate action call 303.660.7500 or call your local law enforcement

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Artery...The study of paintingsBacteria...Back door to the cafeteria Barium.. What doctors do when patients die Benign... What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section......... A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan......................... Searching for Kitty Cauterize.....Made eye contact with her Colic.......A sheep dog Coma..A punctuation mark Dilate..... To live long Enema....Not a friend Fester... Quicker than someone else Fibula...A small lie Impotent....Distinguished, well known Labour Pain.....Getting hurt at work Medical Staff..... A Doctor's cane Morbid...................... A higher offer Nitrates......Cheaper than day rates Node... I knew it Outpatient.....A person who has fainted Pelvis... Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative..... A letter carrierRecovery Room....Place to do upholstery Rectum....Smashed 'em up purty badSecretion....Hiding something Seizure......Roman emperor Tablet.... A small table Terminal Illness.. Getting sick at the airport Tumor............... One plus one more Urine............ Opposite of you're out

UNKILLED HAMBURGER MEAT

Folks, just remember as you read this, that this per-son probably drives & votes. AND, may have already reproduced.

God help America .

Understanding Engineers #2:

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessi-mist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Issue 710

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Transcript of Issue 710