Issue #22, October Edition By: Marie Sirenko

Month Info Page

This month is October. October's birthstone is opal. If you were born in October, you are blessed with the powers of sight. You can cure blindness, disguise things as something else, and even make people see things that aren't there. Opals tend to like Saphires who naturally, are sound mages, and they just fit hand in hand. Opals also like Rubies, Aquamarines, Diamonds, Pearls, and Turqoiuses, because these are some of the easiest surfaces, and things to bend and the easiest to use sight magic on. ~Catherine L.

October

Flower

Calendula

SUPER AWESOMELEY AWESOME PEOPLE WHO

ARE AWESOMELEY AWESOME ENOUGH TO SUBMIT SOMETHING

AWESOME TO THE AWESOME FUNNY

MAGAZINECatherine L.Maggie B.Griffin T.

Kelly M.Paxton B.

Since only five people submitted, I’m completely spoiling them with candy. You

should see how much they’re getting!

Guys, I really need you all to submit! Last year I got at least fifteen replies every month, but

now I’m only getting three to five replies. Some of my most frequent repliers (Emily A, Meghan, and John) have stopped replying!

PLEASE reply guys. If you don’t want TFM to stop, reply. Thank you! I’m counting on you

guys! ~Marie

PLEASE READ!!!!!!!

(WHAAAAT??? My little pony rocks!)

Crazy MarieHalloween Quiz!

1. What are you going to be for Halloween?

2. Are you going Trick-or-Treating this year?

3. What kinds of candy do you want?

A. Um, just something I got from the Halloween store. Nothing unusual.

B. I’m a MR. UGLY!C. I’m a UNICORN!!!

A. Yeah, DUH!B. Only at Mr. Ugly’s dump.C. PFFFFT, no. I’m to busy taking

care of my unicorn!

A. Um, the regular kind?B. TRASHC. Unicorn candy! :D

Dear Mr. UglyDear Mr. Ugly, Ugh, why can't you just surrender your ugly domain or trash to me so I don't have to put up with you? From,Lady Clean*

Dear Lady Clean, No, I shall not, you horrible clean person! >:( Stay away from my dump!From Mr. Ugly.

*Catherine as Lady Clean and Ophella Riddle

Dear Mr. Ugly, I was wondering. If your mother is dead, and your father tried to sell you on the slave market, and you find out that you have time-traveling powers and you meet a mermaid princess and a crazy party person with shape shifting powers who become your friends, what should you do?From, Ophella Riddle*

Dear Ophella,…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… I think you need to see a psychologist.From Mr. Ugly.

Dear Mr. Ugly, Do you play any trash games or sports? If so, which ones?From,Maggie B.

Dear Mr. Ugly, Do you like oysters or lobsters more?From,Paxton B.

Dear Maggie, Well, I play trash-ball (volley ball) and Trashopoly. (Monopoly)From Mr. Ugly.

Dear Paxton, I’ve never tried either, but uh… trash is good?From Mr. Ugly.

Dear Mr. Ugly, What would you do if your dump was destroyed?From,Griffin T.

Dear Griffin, *gasp* How could you even SPEAK of such a thing? From Mr. Ugly.

Sandie’s BlogHey everyone! Happy Halloween! It’s Sandie with yet another problem. This month, my owners have been trying to put a costume on me. But I am NOT one of those pretty little dogs who like to get all dressed up. I HATE costumes! They’re itchy and gross and they’re really hot. And my owners have the most ridiculous costume ideas. They dressed me up as a CAT! Look:Do you see whyI’m angry? CanYou help me outHere? Like seriously. HEEEELLLLP!

Posted by SandieRocks on October 27, 2013 at 12:00 PM

OH NOES THE PICTURE WON’T SHOW

UP!!!

Zuni123 said:Seriously Sandie, it’s not that bad. I get dressed up and I don’t care. I think it actually looks good.

Replies from the neighborhood…

SandieRocks Replied:Well, at least your owners dress you up as a piece of bacon, not a CAT >:[

PeeweeChihuahua said:I like my costume. My owners are currently thinking of which costume I should wear: a burrito, a taco, or a UNICORN!!!

SandieRocks Replied:I can understand that you want to be a unicorn, but a burrito or taco? You want to be eaten for Halloween???

SandieRocks replied: But the last stair is fat!BTW, to your username:

SandieRocks replied: Uhh… I’m going to pretend I didn’t just read that.

Psychopath* said: Beat them up! Destroy their tiny minds with your superior tricks. Show them that no one stands in Fattie Sandie’s way! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Replies from last month’s issue…

SandieRocks replied: Aww So am I!

KellyMcGuigan said: You should… uh… you should… um… uh… Never mind, I’m clueless.

SandieRocks replied: It’s ok. At least you’re not a cat. If you were a cat I would be like SUPER angry! But anyways, yes, I am SO not fat! (Note from Marie: Sandie you’re like as fat as a barrel…)

TheMrWaffle* said: Sandie, sorry for last time’s comment, I was having a bad day… Also, I agree! You’re FLUFFY, NOT FAT!!!

Idon’tlikegrowndogs* said: Sandie, CALM DOWN! You’re as thin as the last stair on your staircase.

*Idon’tlikegrowndogs=Maggie B.; TheMrWaffle=Griffin T.; Psychopath=Catherine L.

Weird Page1. 2.

3.

4.

5.

1

3

1 vote 2 votes

3 votes 3 votes

WINNER!

6 votes

Other PageThe Adventures of the Sleeping Marie

and the Snoring SandieOnce upon a time, Marie was sleeping

peacefully and Sandie came to sleep in her room in the middle of the night. Marie didn’t notice her until she started snoring like an enraged hippo. (She snores really loudly!) This woke Marie up, so she went over to Sandie and gently shook her so that she would wake up and stop snoring. This usually works, so Marie went back to bed. About one minute later, Sandie started snoring yet again. This time, Marie tapped her with her foot until she stopped. This process went on for about twenty minutes, and Marie really wanted to sleep. So she got out of her bed and dragged Sandie out of her room by her collar. Then, she tried to fall asleep. But in about ten minutes, Sandie came back inside! Marie dragged her out again and half-closed the door. Then, Sandie opened the door and came right back. By now, Marie was REALLY tired so she shoved Sandie out and peacefully fell asleep.

THE END

Check out these awesome cartoons and more from pusheen.com!

ALSO, check out http://thefunnymagazine.weebly.com/!It’s really cool! Remember: http://thefunnymagazine.weebly.com/, not thefunnymagazine.com. Read more in Ditzy’s editorial!

Submitted Page Name:________Title:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before you say anything, I just want to say that I am Ms. Cheat, and I am the daughter of Lady Clean. I always wanted to take on my mother's trash-cleanup business, but my younger sister Squeaky took the job. Squeaky Clean that is. Instead, I was forced behind the lines in order to spy and clean up Mr. Ugly. Now, I am living as Cheat Revolta. My real name is Cheat Clean. I mean seriously, Cheat Revolta is a really terrible name. Anyways, I am keeping a journal of events in case these are my last days.

The Journal of Ms. CheatCatherine L.

Name:__________Title:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Griffin T.What to write?

I really like The Funny Magazine, but I have writer’s block >:( Maybe just feature this instead?

Name:____________Title:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

One day, our hero Ugly was sitting down to bed in his vintage dead-battery made pants, and his rancid slippers, his senses alerted him. It was the smell of Lady Clean’s new perfume, UglyBad. Dar hero thought it was insulting, that she named such a horrible stench after him. His scribe, Ms, Happy had recorded his thoughts earlier that day. Mr. Ugly stopped, and sneakily snuckarownd the corneras his new scribe furiously wrote. Out of the darkness, a goat brayed. Mr. Ugly grabbed it. “Aww…” he thought. “It was only a kid” Mr. Ugly tured it back into his “palace”. Next time, I will be successful. I will clean up Mr. Ugly’s act. Muahahahahahaha!

Catherine L. The Mr. Ugly Chronicles

Name:____________Title:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kelly M. Mr. Ugly’s Pet

One day Mr. Ugly was playing in his trash yard. When suddenly he found something ruffing in the garbage. It was a puppy. Mr. Ugly was so surprised. The puppy ran up to Mr. Ugly and cuddled with him. Then 5 seconds later he walked away like nothing ever happened. Next Mr. Ugly yelled at the puppy to come back, and it did. They lived happily ever after!

Ditzy’s EditorialLike seriously, WHEN is TFM’s website going to be up? You guys are SO LAZY!!! ~Annoying MeanieWell, Annoying Meanie, the website is in fact already up! This is the link:http://thefunnymagazine.weebly.com/I hope everyone can check it out! It’s not that hard to remember. We’re going to change it to thefunnymagazine.com soon, but right now it is http://thefunnymagazine.weebly.com/. Check it out!

You should have a Marie Likes Purple Page ~Maggie B.How about a Marie Likes PINK page? :D

Could you put contests on the website instead of the magazine? ~Catherine L.We could put it on both!

I LOVE THE WEBSITE YOU MADE!!!!!!!!!!! ~Catherine L.Awww, thanks! <3 I hope everyone else likes it too!

Keep The Funny Magazine just the way it is! It’s PERFECT! ~Griffin T.Thanks so much! At least some people appreciate TFM…

Fun Page

Do you have replies to anything? Write it over here!

Name:______________Now rip it out and give it to Marie!

Dear Mr. Ugly,

From:

Suggestion for Sandie:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________From: Fav. Picture: #

Story (Aww, please? I really need some!) :________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I COMAND YOU TO LOOK ON THE BACK NOW…

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Suggestions & Ideas for Ditzy’s Editorial…_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thank you! These really help ~MariePLEASE DO NOT DISTRIBUTE!!! I HAVE ENOUGH FOR ALMOST EVERYONE, JUST ASK ME FOR AN EXTRA!!!

(Unless I don’t have any extras. THEN you can share.)

CONTINUE STORY…

REMEMBER: http://thefunnymagazine.weebly.com/