IS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY - Ministry Matters group... · This study guide is intended to guide laypeople...

A Ch u r c h -W i d e Ce l l G r o u p I n i t i a t i v e

based o n t h e b o o k

CHRISTMAS IS NOT YOURBIRTHDAYby M ike S l a u g h t e r

Livingandgiving like jesus

This study guide is intended to guide laypeople in their reading of Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, by Mike Slaughter. Christmas Is Not Your Birthday casts a vision for how Christians can experience the true joy of living and giving like Jesus begin-ning with the Christmas season and continuing as a lifestyle. This study helps participants see the traps and discontentment of consumerism and the call of God to live generously to fulfill God’s mission in the world.

This PDF contains two pages for each of the six ses-sions. Printed front and back, each weekly handout can be contained to one sheet per participant, saving paper and giving participants less to fumble with during the discussion. It is recommended that study participants read the corresponding intro-duction and chapters in the Christmas Is Not Your Birthday book, but key passages are reprinted on the weekly handout so the group can read and dis-cuss the main idea of each chapter together. (Note: Sometimes the book excerpts are abridged or adapted for this study and do not appear exactly as they are in the book.)

Suggestions for the Discussion Leader1. Prior to the meeting, get comfortable with the mate-rial. Read the focus Scripture for the session, the book excerpt on the handout, and the discussion questions.

2. Read the corresponding chapter in Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, and think of any additional questions or issues your group might enjoy discussing. The handout can be just a jumping-off point for deeper discussions. Don’t feel limited by it.

3. For the first couple of sessions, encourage group members to participate as they feel comfortable doing so. Invite quieter members of the group to share their thoughts, but do not pressure them to speak if they are not ready.

4. Read the Scripture passage and book excerpt aloud. Even if participants were asked to do the reading before the session, reading together will refresh memories and enable those who have not read the material already to participate without embarrassment.

5. One way to begin each discussion is to ask partici-pants to voice their initial impression of the Scripture or book excerpt, before asking the questions provided on the handout.

6. Model a style of openness, honesty and warmth. At times, consider being the first to share, particularly when talking about personal experiences, but remem-ber that as a leader you do not have to know all the answers.

7. Ask the follow-up questions “Why?” or “Why do you believe that?” to help continue a discussion and give it greater depth.

8. Close the session in prayer, and be sure everyone knows the time and place of each meeting. Reach out to those that missed the session and invite them to join you next time.

For the Group Leader:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Then Jesus rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” - Luke 4:18-21

It is October 12 and I am on my way to the local mall to purchase a new carry-on bag. I am scanning the radio channels and notice that one station has already switched to a twenty-four-hour Christmas music format. Bruce Springsteen is sing-ing familiar reminders about Santa Claus seeing you “when you are sleeping” and knowing “when you are awake.” My mother used such reminders as part of some behavioral modification strategy leading up to Christmas season every year. Growing up, Christmas was like a second birthday but a much bigger and better deal! Mom’s reminder was clear: I’d better be good or I would get a lump of coal in my stocking instead of the new Red Ryder BB gun that I was willing to trade my little sister for. Apparently reminders worked, because I did get my Red Ryder that Christmas. No I didn’t shoot my eye out but I did ricochet a BB off my forehead once while target shooting in our basement.

Excerpts from Christmas is not Your Birthday: Experience the Joy of Living and Giving like Jesus by Mike Slaughter Abingdon Press © 2011

Session 1: Christmas is Not Your Birthday Based on Introduction, pages ix-xi

What was the best Christmas gift you

remember receiving as a child and why?


As we grow older, our desired gifts become more sophisticated. Unfortunately the idolatrous promise of the desired object to bring us life-fulfillment and meaning is never realized as the newness wears off and we seek the next new, best thing. We are hypnotically lured by the seductive marketing sirens of mindless consumption. And by buying into the false promises of secular consumerism we continue to feed our children’s materialistic self-focused addictions. I arrive at the mall and notice that the marketing preparations are in full swing. Santa Land is under construction as workers on motorized lifts hang banners herald-ing the season of conspicuous consumption. According to the National Retail Federation, as of 2010, adult consumers spent an average of $830 each on holiday food, decorations and presents. In a two-parent family that equates to roughly $1600.00! Now add this cost to the average American household credit card balance of $15,788 with an average annual percentage rate of 14.67%. Christmas has been hijacked and exploited. We have professed allegiance to Jesus but celebrate his birth with an orgy of materialism. Christmas is not your birthday; it’s Jesus birthday! This study will help you reclaim the broader missional meaning of Jesus’ birth and experience a Christmas season with more peace and joy than any toy or gadget could ever bring.

1. Think about your family’s Christmas traditions as you grew up. What were the most unique traditions you practiced? How many of them focused on your own comfort and pleasure, and which were sacrificial in nature?

2. Think of one of the best Christmas gifts you’ve ever given to someone. What made it the best, and how long do you think they appreciated it?

3. Name some ways you think Christmas has been hijacked. How have you allowed Christmas to become more about you and/or consumerism than about Jesus?

4. Do you typically use cash only for Christmas, or do you go into at least a little debt? How can you make this year a cash-only Christmas?

5. What are some things you currently enjoy or love about the holiday season? What don’t you like? Is there a common theme between what you like and don’t like?

6. What new tradition(s) can you plan that would focus more on Jesus’ presence than presents?

Challenge - Ask those closest to you, whether friends, family, parents or children, what they would change about the Christmas holiday and why? Bring back your answers for the group meeting next week.

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. -Isaiah 7:14

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. -Isaiah 53:5-6

Centuries before Jesus’ birth the ancient prophets spoke of the coming of a mes-siah deliverer who would be called:

“…Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end…” -Isaiah 9:6-7

But this Messiah king would also know suffering and rejection, and his mission would clearly prioritize the poor and marginalized. Expectations of what this mes-siah would be like and look like however were quite diverse and even contradic-tory. Some expected a worldly political revolutionary who would restore the glory days of the Davidic Kingdom, whereas others visualized a messiah who represented the Greek ideal of focusing totally on the afterlife. Jesus was not what folks expected. When you think about God, adjectives like powerful, majestic, and almighty tend to come to mind. But Jesus did not come to earth with any air of worldly wealth or majestic power. On the contrary, every-thing about Jesus’ life stood in stark contrast to worldly priorities and values. As a man, he lived in tension with the organized religious system. He resisted the world’s obsession with wealth, pleasure, power, and recognition. He identified with the weak and powerless, the widow and orphan. And he did not condemn the sinner. So what does God look like? Like Jesus! List some of the adjectives that come to mind when you think about Jesus, his attitude, his relationships, his life and mission. How do these contradict what the culture teaches about success and influence? Too often we view God like Santa Claus – a genie in a bottle here to fulfill three wishes. We have created this Santa Claus Jesus in our own image, a golden-calf messiah who promises to fulfill all our earthly wants and wishes, an idol of con-sumption who supports the human quest for meaning and purpose in material things outside of a relationship with God. But at Christmas we should celebrate


Session 2: You Are a Miracle WorkerBased on Ch. 1: “Expect a Miracle” pages 1-18


the birth of the Messiah who was born not only to die sacrificially for us but to show us how to live sacrificially. Christmas is the celebration of a miracle but we’ve edged the miracle worker out of his own birthday celebration. It is time to take it back by planning new traditions that focus on Jesus’ presence, rather than the often forget-table presents we expect to give and receive. Christmas is about a miracle. Miracles don’t just happen; they are born through labors of pain. The dictionary defines miracle as a visible interruption of the laws of nature, understood by divine intervention and often accompanied by a miracle worker. In other words a miracle is a unique event in the world that God does through people like you and me. That’s right – you are God’s miracle worker! You are God’s means to affect change in your world and God wants to birth a miracle through you. Every miracle of God is conceived in the heart of the believer, grows in conviction and clarity, and is delivered through committed action. And every spirit-filled Christian has the potential for a God movement within them. Are you ready for God to birth a Christmas miracle through you?

1. How do you picture God? How do you think this picture affects your Christian walk and your faith in God?

2. Name the ways your image of God has more in common with Santa Claus than with who Jesus is and how he lived?

3. Have you ever witnessed or experienced a miracle? If so what happened? Do you think God could actually work a miracle through your life?

4. For your life to be meaningful you need to give it away to others. What does that look like for you, and how difficult is it? Do you have capacity to give away more?

5. What would it take for you to be more prepared for God to use you for miraculous purposes in the world?

6. What ideas do you have that could be seeds for a mission miracle? How could this group help you make it happen?

Challenge – Pray about and then write down 1-3 ideas or thoughts that you feel might be God-initiated dreams for you to pursue in helping change this world for God’s Kingdom.


The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus” “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” -Luke 1:28-31, 34

Our Christmas traditions have sanitized the Jesus birth narrative by removing the event from its biblical and historical context. Jesus was born in a stable, a cave where animals were kept. And where there are animals there is also dung, which in turn brings flies. The setting of Jesus’ birth was not sanitary and it doesn’t get better from there. Jesus spent his earliest years as a refugee in Africa escaping the genocide that Herod was committing in Judea against children aged two and under. In turn the Gospel of Luke makes it indelibly clear that walking in the way of Jesus is neither safe nor predictable. Sometimes we have the idea that when we do right, wrong is not supposed to show up. And if we are faithfully following Jesus, then life isn’t supposed to get messy, but it does. God’s favor cannot be earned. God comes when we are doing everything wrong. God comes when we are doing nothing. God comes whether we are being naughty or nice. Why? Because God loves us and we are highly favored. Look at the situa-tion from Mary’s perspective. She had worked really hard to do what was right, yet it seemed like wrong still showed up. This God miracle of the birth of the Messiah was in the context of an unplanned teenaged pregnancy with all the emotional grief that would entail. How emotionally prepared would a 12-15 year old be for this life experience. God’s blessing would only continue to bring pain into Mary’s life – all the way to the foot of the cross. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Maybe you have done every-thing you know how to be faithful to God and true to your family, and then you are notified four weeks before the holidays that your job will be discontinued. Or your husband tells you that he doesn’t love you anymore and wants a divorce. Or your four year old is diagnosed with leukemia. No where does the Bible say that a life of faith will always make sense or follow a predictable path.

Session 3: Living God’s MissionBased on Ch. 2: “Giving up on Perfect” pages 19-37

Read II Corinthians 11:23-30:Why do you think God would allow Paul - a great servant of Jesus - to go through so much persecution and to endure so much suffering?


God’s love and favor on us doesn’t mean that the path of faith is going to be neat and predictable. Life gets messy, but in the midst of your mess - God shows up. No matter what you are struggling to overcome, no matter what life issues have come your way, God promises to show up. Christmas is God’s vivid reminder that amid the uncertainty, God shows up to bring peace, purpose, joy and wholeness. So why did God choose Mary? Mary had proactive faith. A person with proactive faith doesn’t live in the paralysis of doubt and disillusionment. Instead they actively pursue God’s redemptive purpose and presence in the midst of any situation, even when it doesn’t make sense. The Holy Spirit is with you right now to be your helper through any situation, including the messy ones. When life isn’t making sense, the power of God will be a shadow over you! That gift, however, is often experienced in pain and suffering. Just remember, God’s promise may be delayed but it will not be denied. Life is not about staying safe and living comfortably. The call to follow Jesus is a call to give your life to him and to join God’s mission in healing the souls of the world. The real rewards are found in the joy and peace that we experience through serving others in Christ’s spirit.

1. What is your vision of a perfect Christmas? What imperfect circumstances will you face this year that will challenge your ability to celebrate Christmas fully?

2. What emotional and social pressures do you think Mary felt in the months and days leading up to Jesus’ birth? How well do you think you would have handled the situation as either Mary or Joseph?

3. How should Mary’s experience of that first Christmas influence the way you approach the holiday season?

4. Has life ever smacked you down even though you were trying to do everything right? What was your initial reaction to God, and how did you get through it?

5. How can you celebrate Jesus in the midst of your struggles? How can God use your current struggles to help others this upcoming holiday season?

6. Name one promise of God that you can stand upon even in the midst of trials and life troubles.

Challenge – This week focus on helping someone you know that is strug-gling in life and/or faith and commit to praying for them, asking them how you can help, and following through with help and encouragement.

When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.” So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son. -Hosea 1:2-3

Christmas is the heralding of a God who pursues us so relentlessly as to come to earth in human form to be with us. The incarnation is the revelation of our scandal-ous love affair with the world, and God’s persistent striving to bring us back to him. One of the most passionate illustrations of God’s love affair with humanity is found in the book of Hosea. During Israel’s last days of prosperity under Jeroboam II the Israelites became lukewarm in the faith and strayed as God’s people often do in prosperous times. From a human perspective we can equate God’s relation-ship with the Israelites to the sacred trust commitment made and then broken in marriage. But God demonstrates unrelenting love for God’s people through Hosea by telling him to go and marry a wife of “whoredom” and have children by her. Can you imagine marrying someone you knew would be unfaithful and spend your life wondering if your children were really your own?

Hosea 3:1-3: The LORD said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Is-raelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.

Hosea represents God’s relentless pursuing love and Hosea’s wife of prostitution represents God’s people, not only the Israelites but also you and me. God loves us and wants us even while we are under the influence of unworthy lovers such as greed, selfishness, addiction and deceit. So God has come to buy us back! The magnitude of this kind of love is beyond my comprehension, but after all…beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We have been created to find life and meaning through exclusive devotion to our lover - God, but in the spirit of prostitution we sell ourselves out to the consumer-ist johns of materialism and greed. This is never more obvious than in the way we celebrate Jesus’ birth in a self-focused, hedonistic feast of gluttony, oblivious to what God really wants from us.


Session 4: Putting Jesus’ Love into ActionBased on Ch. 3: “Scandalous Love” pages 39-54


What God wants from us for Jesus’ birthday and every day is love. God desires that we return God’s scandalous love with our own, demonstrated by how we treat those in need. God is not oblivious to the fact that one child dies every four sec-onds of a hunger-related cause or that as many as seven will die by the time you fin-ish reading this page. God also knows that more than 14 million AIDS orphans were reported in 2008 worldwide. God also knows that one child dies every forty-five seconds from malaria which could be prevented by a simple mosquito net that costs less than ten dollars. Only when we realize how far we have strayed from the one who loves us so deeply and unconditionally can we respond in radical faith. And when we passion-ately pursue God as our defining life center, then everything else will be rightly or-dered. Though we may not deserve it, God showed us mercy by sending us his Son to show us the way home. Jesus came to earth as a tiny baby in humble, scandalous circumstances to redeem and restore broken places and broken hearts. That is the love we celebrate at Christmas and it is that kind of love that we are called to show in return.

1. How might your life look different if you could fully understand and embrace God’s passionate and unconditional love for you? When or where have you experi-enced God’s relentless pursuit of having a relationship with you?

2. Think about the deepest and most enduring relationship you’ve experienced – with a spouse, parent or friend. If this is only a glimpse of the relationship God wants with you, what must that mean about God’s love?

3. How do we tend to “sell ourselves” to other things instead of making God our number one love? What one thing do you struggle with the most?

4. God promises to bring good out of bad, to raise up the lowly and to comfort the afflicted. How would you view or live your life if you trusted completely in those promises?

5. What would it mean for us to love others “scandalously”? How would that be different from the safe, cautious ways we often show Christ’s love in the world?

6. To whom or in what way can you show “scandalous” love this holiday season because of God’s great love shown to you?

Challenge – Think of one person in your life who has either disappoint-ed you deeply or hurt you in a way that you need to forgive them, and pray that God would help you. Commit to praying for him or her this whole week.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -I John 3:16-18

Do you struggle to come up with the perfect gifts each Christmas for the special people in your life? It can be tough but here’s an even more important question: What do you give Jesus on his birthday? How can we change the traditional focus of Christmas from materialistic self indulgence to giving Jesus what he desires on his birthday? And what can you possibly give the Lord of the universe? Fortunately Jesus made his wish list unquestionably clear in his last teaching in the book of Matthew concerning his return and the day of final judgment.

Matthew 25:31-36: When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

We serve God when we serve others. We give to Jesus when we sacrifice our time, talents, and resources to meet other’s needs in his name. The church is the body of Christ. We are the only hands, feet, and wallets that Jesus has. Many peo-ple ask the question “If God is all-loving and all-powerful then why doesn’t God do something about evil?” The answer to this question is simple: you are the something that God is sending to combat evil in this world. You are the evidence that the Messiah of God’s Kingdom is among you when ev-erything that is broken around you is being restored, when the oppressed and cap-tive are being set free, and when good news is being preached to the poor. Every-one who recognizes Jesus as Messiah is a servant of his mission and if that includes us, then we need to be committed to live more simply so that others may simply live - because that is what Jesus desires from his followers.


Session 5: Creating New TraditionsBased on Ch. 4: “Jesus’ Wish List” pages 55-69


Can you imagine the birthday celebration if every Christian in every church practiced the commitment of giving an equal amount of what they spend on them-selves to a specific Jesus mission somewhere in the world? We can change the world one place at a time, one person at a time, if we are willing to celebrate Jesus’ birthday in a way that honors him. When we acknowledge Jesus as Lord we give him the rights to define our lifestyles, our values, and yes, in the way we celebrate his birth. At Christmas, we celebrate a messiah, a deliverer who was born to die. So we too are called to give ourselves sacrificially with Christ for the world that God loves. Such sacrifice is paradoxical because the more of ourselves that we give away, the more abundant our faith and our commitment will be with what we have.

1. Who is the hardest person to shop for on your Christmas shopping list? How much time and energy do you have to spend finding a gift for him or her?

2. What would happen if you put as much time and energy into Jesus’ wish list each Christmas as you put into getting everyone the right gift?

3. What are some practical ways we can change the traditional focus of Christmas from materialistic self-indulgence to giving Jesus what he desires?

4. Describe an event where you gave of your time, talent and/or resources and were completely blessed beyond what you expected.

5. Why do you think God uses people to bring restoration and healing to a broken world instead of just stepping in with almighty power? Has God ever used you?

6. What “big buts” are keeping you from giving sacrificially of both time and money? What excuses do you need to overcome this year to truly honor Jesus with your life’s resources?

Challenge - Get creative! What is one new tradition or family practice you could start this year to make every Christmas a more authentic celebra-tion of Jesus?

For most people in Western contexts, shopping is spirituality. It is an attempt to find meaning and happiness in the product… Once again we are back to idolatry: the attempt to establish meaning and purpose on our own terms outside of a relation-ship with God. -Alan & Deb Hirsch

The holiday season, which begins for many with Thanksgiving and continues through New Years Day, often brings increased stress and even depression due to the dizzying demands and distractions of shopping, work parties, extended family visits, blended family responsibilities, cleaning, baking, entertaining, and –oh yes- did I mention spending? To top it off, burning the candle at both ends makes us more susceptible to colds and other ailments. Then we start off the New Year with guilt (and inches) from overeating, the debt from overspending, and the emotional low that comes from pursuit of fleeting joy. Meanwhile, the reason for the season -Immanuel, God with us- gets lost in the frantic complexity. But it doesn’t have to. On January 6, after the holiday vacations are over and the gifts and decorations are put away, we celebrate Epiphany-the arrival of the wise men or “magi” who came from afar to see the new king. The true biblical account of the magi is an in-spiring example of persistent life-altering faith. The amount of energy and expense involved in their journey would have been considerable in what appears to have been a two-year quest. And after they arrived they offered Jesus treasures that would have been worthy of a king.

Matthew 2:11-12: On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

What we see here are the marks of true commitment:1) They bowed down and worshipped him – when we acknowledge Jesus as Lord we humbly submit to his authority. 2) They opened their treasures – the resources of heaven don’t fall from the sky, instead they are released through God’s people.3) They returned to their country by a different road – Belief is simple, but changing course or life attitudes and practices are often hard commitments to make.


Session 6: Making Life DifferentBased on Ch. 5: “By a Different Road” pages 71-91


January is a traditional time to commit to taking a different road. We see the New Year as a time for making resolutions to change something about our lives. Whether it be quitting a bad habit or starting healthier practices, we vow to make this year dif-ferent. But what if we allow the lessons of Advent and Christmas to shape the way we start the calendar year - and the rest of our lives - by reorienting our priorities to focus not on ourselves but on the radical love Jesus gives to us and asks from us in return. Jesus continually challenges our life values and priorities by making clear the con-trast between the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of consumption. Overspending, debt, and attachment to material possessions hinder our ability to fully commit to following Jesus in sacrificial mission. The more we have the harder we have to work to maintain what we have, which means less time to develop relationships with those closest to us and less time to serve Jesus’ mission for the least and the lost. Jesus names the alternative path for his followers:

Matthew 6:31-33: So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righ-teousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

1. Do you typically begin each New Year with a big relief, big guilt, big gut, big expecta-tions, big let-down, big debt, big joy and/or big depression? Why do you think this is?

2. Which of the following examples of the three Magi do you most need to put into practice: Submitting to Jesus’ authority over your life, opening up your treasures for God’s purposes or committing to a needed life course change with God’s help? What will you do to begin making this happen?

3. How can you simplify your home to create more room for peace and righteous-ness, rather than for more stuff? What excess can you get rid of in your home (or your schedule) to reflect more accurately where your priorities lie?

4. What would it mean for you to “seek God’s kingdom first”? What changes would that shift necessitate in your life?

5. Take a moment right now to think of ways you can make first things first by finishing the following sentences:I will spend more time with the people I love by ______________________________.I will demonstrate my faith in practical service by _____________________________.I will cultivate my relationship with God by __________________________________.

Challenge – Write down what you will do differently this holiday season in order to honor Jesus’ birthday and God’s desire to bring good news to all people.

Notes

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IS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY - Ministry Matters group... · This study guide is intended to guide laypeople...

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