Irresistible Texts

8/17/2019 Irresistible Texts

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INTRODUCTION

Ever wondered what’s the first message you should send a girl? Howto ask a girl on a date: and feel confident that she’ll say ‘yes’? How to use

texts to flirt with girls until they can’t wait to see you? How to contact a

girl after not hearing from her for ages?

My name is Hayley Quinn and I’m a leading expert in texting,

communication and dating. After having tons of guys come to me withquestions about how, what, and when to text a girl: I decided to put down

all of my knowledge (including more than 125 original Sexy Texts) into an

eBook guide to help you.

Think about how important texts, and emails, are to dating today.

Long gone are the days of the love letter, maybe even the phone call: wenow have about 156 characters to express our intentions in.

What’s more tons of girls are phone-a-phobic. This means that you

may not be able to get them to pick up your call to set a date. This is why

I’ve put together this eBook to help you master the art of texting.

I want to help you to create original text messages, that get the

results you want, with the women you want.


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I may not be able to give you set in stone rules, but I can give you:

• 125+ unique text templates that I’ve written especially for

this eBook,

• Tons of useful tips & sensible guidelines to work within

• ‘Workshops’ on how you can construct original messages

• A structure for how your text interaction might go (i.e. Whatto say when!)

In short I never want you to be stuck for what to say, or text, ever

again...


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ABOUT HAYLEY QUINN

Hayley Quinn has helped thousands of men globally get the womenthey want: and has been a featured dating expert for Cosmopolitan, FHM,

Askmen and the Independent.

A UCL English graduate and professional writer; Hayley has used her

knowledge of the English language to create hundreds of original sexy

texts.

She’s also a dab hand at decoding messages, teaching conversation

skills and helping you to understand what makes the people in your love

life tick.

If you want to contact Hayley Quinn about what’s been featuredin this eBook, or to learn more about how she can help you with sex,

relationships and dating send an email to her personal email address

[email protected] or check out www.hayley-quinn.com


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CONTENTS

Introducing Hayley Quinn’s Irresistible Texts Rule Book

Rules of Irresistible Texts Contents

Golden Rules of Irresistible Texts

Key Concepts of Irresistible Texts

A Basic Irresistible Texts Structure

First Texts:

• An introduction to First Texts• 25 First Text Templates

• 5 Ways to... Say Hello

• Workshop: Don’t Demand

Connecting Texts:

• An Introduction to Connecting Texts

• 25 Connecting Text Templates

• 5 Ways to... Keep it Going

• Workshop: Signs She’s Ready for a Date


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Date Texts:

• An Introduction to Date Texts

• 25 Date Text Templates• 5 Ways to... Go for the Date

• Workshop: What next...?

Teasing Texts:

• An Introduction to Teasing Texts• 25 Teasing Text Templates

• 5 Ways to... Eectively Tease a Girl

• Workshop: Turn your Texts to Sex

Ping Texts:

• An Introduction to Ping Texts

• 25 Ping Text Templates

• 5 Ways to... Say Hello...Again

• Workshop: Reconnecting with a Ping

More Irresistible Texts

Irresistible Texts Glossary


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10 GOLDEN RULES OF

IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS

The truth is...

When it comes to dating successfully there are very few ‘rules’. If

there were, why would the people who always seem to get what they

want from relationships never stick to them?

Sure some guys can burn the rule book- and still be successful- but

if you’re a guy that doesn’t have a 100% batting average then these ‘rules’

(or shall we call them guidelines?) are well worth sticking to.

If you find girls often cancel, or never commit, to dates; if you don’tget the responses you want, if the girl you like loses interest halfway

through, or if you just want to get better...I’d kick start your Irresistible

Texts overhaul with my 10 Golden Rules of Irresistible Texts.

1. Don’t ask vague questions:

Make a question too broad and it becomes very difficult to answer; so

steer clear of ‘how have you been?’, ‘what have you been up to recently?’ if

you want an answer that’s better than, ‘oh stuff...’


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2. Be specific:

Want to set a date that she’ll agree to? Then be very clear about

what it involves. Ask, ‘what are you up to this Saturday?’ and she’ll haveno idea what she’s committing to. The result? She won’t commit to a date

and will give you a flaky response. Be clear about what you want to do

with her, so she knows what she’s agreeing to. Even better, make it sound

exciting and she’s more likely to say yes. So replace, ‘What are you up to

this Friday?’, with ‘Let’s sling back rum daiquiri cocktails after work Friday.’

2. Counter demand:

If she asks you to do something for her: make a counter demand.

For instance, if she can only meet on a certain day; choose the location

and what you’re doing. If she makes a financial demand make it clear that

she’s buying the next round. Or if she is playing hard to get- say that youcan only meet her for a limited time.

3. Make decisions:

Instead of planning the date around her, plan the date for yourself.

Instead of asking her what food she’d prefer, take her somewhere thatyou want to check out. Instead of asking her what time she’s free: tell her

what days are best for you to meet.

4. Use strong language:

There’s no ‘if’s’, ‘but’s’, ‘maybe’s’, or ‘would you like to’s’ about it. Whenasking a girl out, you want to state your intentions like it’s already a done

deal. So scrap all the, ‘would you like to maybe...’ and replace rapidly with

‘let’s try...’


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5. Don’t accept second place:

If she doesn’t give you a firm ‘yes’ back, then accept it as a ‘no’. ‘I’ve

got to check my schedule’, ‘I may be meeting a friend that night’ etc allcan be reinterpreted as ‘I’m just not that into you’. That doesn’t mean you

give up, but you may need to swap tactics.

6. Mirror her levels of investment:

If she’s says she can’t see you for a long time first of all note GoldenRule 5; then mirror her! Act like you’re busy too, and are pushed for time

to link up. Back off a little, rather than pushing her to commit to more

time with you, when she’s already pulling away.

7. Match her ratio:

This means that you do not send her tons of texts in a row and blow

up her phone, if she doesn’t respond. Keep the ratio of your texts 1:1

where possible. If she doesn’t reply, then at least give her a couple of days

of space before you try her again.

8. Act nonchalant if she says ‘no’:

If you get a flat out ‘no’, or an ‘I’m busy’, do not get angry with her!

This will only show that you care more about this than she does, and will

only act as a disincentive for her seeing you again. If in doubt an ‘ok cool

x’ works wonders.

9. Try a low commitment date first:

Getting a number is not a licence to have a date with a girl: so

don’t expect to get one easily, especially if you only met her briefly, or


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if she seemed uncertain about giving you her number. Under these

circumstances the number is a little ‘cold’ and so a date that’s easy for her

to commit to (like coffee, or after work drinks on a week night) may be

more likely to get a positive response than offering to fly her to Paris forthe weekend, or taking her out for a flashy meal.

10. Go for it!:

Lots of times text interactions can run on and on without the

guy asking the girl out. This just kills the mystery and attraction of theexchange. Don’t send her 20, or even 10, texts in a row without suggesting

a date. As long as she’s giving you positive signs (check out my section on

‘going for the date’) then tie her down to a commitment quickly. Don’t

let the interaction lose momentum. Don’t leave her wondering whether

you’re into her. Don’t snooze and lose. Be direct and confident that if you

get knocked back, you’ll have a better idea of where you stand and howto make the best out of the situation.


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SOME KEY CONCEPTS

Now before I launch into my 125 unique text templates, and tips,there’s just a few more key concepts to understand.

Throughout this eBook I may mention some ‘theory’ (nothing too

heavy, promise) which I’ll do my best to explain in this section. If any of

the terminology is unfamiliar at any time then please flick to the Glossary

section at the back for a detailed explanation.

Wrapping your head around these concepts is important though: it

will mean you’ll have an improved understanding of where to use certain

messages, and maybe where things haven’t quite gone to plan in the

past.

And yes unfortunately you do need to know what text is the right

one to send to which girl: all women, and interactions are unique, and

must be treated as such.

Get it wrong and it will be like using a sledge hammer to pick a lock;

or the textual equivalent of believing all women are the same. Anyonewho has ever loved women, kissed them, endeavoured to buy a birthday

present for them, will know this is never the case...


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Investment

The most important concept in Irresistible Texts, and arguably most

relationships; is what I refer to as investment.

Investment, in this context, is how much you care about the outcome

of something. How much you put into something.

In relationships the ideal scenario would be a 50/50 tussle for

investment: a perfect match in terms of how much time you want tospend together, where you see the relationship going, how much you

want things to ‘work out’.

So what does this have to do with texts?

Well, just like in other areas of your dating life the key is usually tounderstand how invested another person is in you; and to mirror their

investment.

Let me give you some examples as to why this is important.

Say you meet a lovely girl on your commute and get her number.You drop her a cool and witty text yet she doesn’t reply. It’s not that she

didn’t like you, but she had a busy evening when she got home and just

forgot all about it. You text her again: this time you sound a little agitated

at her lack of response. She recognises your annoyance, and is put off

from contacting you again- she decides you may not be the right guy for

her, so she decides to leave it. By this stage you feel really disappointedand frustrated: you thought you got on so well. You send another text.

She feels freaked out by your intensity and deletes your number. She also

probably jokes about this ‘crazy guy’ she met to her friends.


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What’s weird is, that it wasn’t that you were incompatible, or that she

didn’t like you: but your intensity scared her off.

Another example?

You’ve been texting a girl for a few days and it seems to be going

well. She is responding to all of your messages and you feel excited about

your date this Friday. But when Friday night comes around, she cancels,

last minute. You text her next week and she replies again: but when you

go for the date, no response. You skim back through the messages andrealise that whilst you were doing everything to keep the conversation

going (that ‘Goodnight snuggle Vixen’ message was a little cringe worthy

in hindsight) her replies were, well, a bit crap. Lots of ‘Lol’, ‘haha’ and ‘:) xxx’.

Apparently these aren’t the good signs you thought they were, and you

slowly realise whilst you were busy entertaining her, she was probably

just replying for the sake of replying.

Both these problems are to do with investment: she has not invested

as much as you. There are several factors that influence investment:

• How long you were speaking to her for when you first got

the number.

• How long you’ve been in contact in proportion to how

much physical time you’ve spent together (face time is

always preferable to text time so try to get her to commit

to a date quickly).

• How willing she was to give you her number.

• What other guys she has in her life right now.


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And there are several ‘warning signs’ of low investment:

• She takes ages to respond

• Her texts are brief and consist more of emoticons than real

content.

• She doesn’t make an effort to keep the conversation going.

• She seems to cool off, or doesn’t respond, whenever yousuggest meeting in person.

If she is behaving in a low investment way, it’s not the end of the

world; but it does mean you may need to play the game a little differently.

Maybe your date suggestion will be a quick coffee, rather than a daytrip to the zoo. You also may want to use more conversational hooks, and

if that fails, try teasing her to prompt more of a reaction.

High risk messages which are short, punchy and tricky for her to

respond to are likely not to go down so well: though sometimes a low

investment response can be broken by you being much more direct. Soif you’ve been texting for ages- and yet haven’t quite managed to ask her

out- then pick up the phone; or send a message a bit like this:

“Am I the only one who’s bored of texting?

Conversations always better in real life- let’s try to link

up for coffee this week x”


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Hot/cold numbers

Some numbers are just more solid than others.

Sometimes an interaction that you thought went amazingly well

comes to nothing: other times that 30 second pick up you did with the

girl at the bus stop, bites ridiculously well.

There are some general rules though which can dictate which

numbers are more solid than others. I distinguish between these twokinds of numbers by calling them ‘hot’ or ‘cold’. A cold number is one that

is flakier: or harder work to convert into a date.

Some characteristics of cold numbers:

• You may have got a girl’s number in a rush, and only spent avery short amount of time with her.

• She was hesitant to give her number out.

• She gave her number with an excuse: ‘my phone may not

work in the UK’ etc.

• She doesn’t always respond.

• She uses lots of low investment ‘lols’, ‘hahaha’s’ and smilies

to keep the conversation going.

• She doesn’t ask about you or give any further details about

herself.


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A hot number on the other hand is much stronger to begin with:

and as long as no major screw ups in your Irresistible Texts occur, should

convert into a date:

• You met a girl through an existing social circle.

• You spent a long time talking to the girl: maybe even went

on an ‘instant date’ then and there.

• You discussed linking up again during your initial meeting.

• She responds relatively quickly and at a decent length.

• She offers you details about her life.

• She asks you questions.

So how differently would you treat a hot versus a cold number?

If it’s a hot number you’ll probably be able to get her to commit to

a date on messages 2-3; a cold number you’ll need to wait until you get

enough ‘investment’ from her: that’s ‘signs she’s ready for a date’.

If it’s a hot number momentum (we’re coming to that in a second)

is slightly less important. You can leave it a little longer before getting

in contact. With a cold number if you leave it a week, her interest will

probably have cooled to zero.

If it’s a hot number if you want to you can ask for a higher commitment

date like a night out, or dinner. If it’s a cold number stick to a quick coffee

or after work cocktails.


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If it’s a hot number you sometimes need to just play it cool enough;

with a cold number you may need to use more connecting and teasing

texts to build interest from her... depending on what kind of messages

she responds best to.

Remember interactions between a man and a woman need sexual

tension to keep the interest going. If there was a huge spark, and a great

experience, when you first met- her interest levels are going to stay higher

for longer than an interaction that was lukewarm. And you ALWAYS want

to go for the date when the proverbial iron is as hot as possible.

So when you’re using my text templates always bear in mind how

‘hot’ the interaction is: and ALWAYS try to go for the date when the

interaction is at its peak. Just remember this peak is so often ‘ASAP’; so

when you get those ‘buying signs’ that she’s ready for the date GO FOR IT.

Momentum

No matter how solid the number is, or isn’t, momentum is always

fundamental to ensuring you get that date.

As I’ve mentioned before, you’ve got to think of an interaction ashaving different degrees of ‘warmth’- how strongly connected to a girl

you are.

To explain this concept more clearly I’m going to run you through a

couple of scenarios:

• How a hot number can become cold

• How a cold number can become hot


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Hot to Cold:

You decide to go to a friend’s house party on Saturday. You see a cute

girl across the room, who your friend has known since school. You hit itoff by teasing her about how much punch she’s drinking: and throughout

the night seem to spend most of your time locked into conversation. You

get her number early on (you both support Chelsea FC!) and when you

leave you think you should have kissed her. You send her a message a few

days later (you don’t want to come on too strong) and you get a response

fairly quickly. Again you decide to leave it a while before responding. Soonyou’re swapping texts every few days and a week passes. You’re not sure if

she wants to meet up again so you procrastinate on asking her out- and

kind of hope she’ll suggest something to you. Her responses become less

frequent. You panic so text more: and break the 1:1 text ratio. Lots of your

texts are a little pointless and don’t have a purpose. By the time you really

want to ask for the date the number is dead.

Cold to hot:

You see a cute girl waiting to get on a bus and you force yourself

to approach. She’s a little taken aback at first, but warms up after the

first minute: then her bus comes. You push for a number, and after somehesitation she agrees. You send her something witty later that day, making

reference to her bus journey and how random it was meeting her. She

responds with a short low investment message the next day. Later that

evening you use an assumption to guess about what she’s up to & to try

to build more of a connection with her. It works- this time her response

is more engaged. You then switch to teasing her and she responds evenfaster, teasing you back. Recognising the signs that she’s getting more

into you: you are direct and state that you think coffee tomorrow after

work is a great idea. She agrees...


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You may see some of yourself in these scenarios...

When you choose to escalate, your ability to keep the interaction

interesting, reacting successfully to her, and going in for the date at thenearest possible opportunity are all key factors influencing why the

momentum of the interaction is so important.

Space

What’s better than you getting angry with a girl’s flaky responses?What do you do when she doesn’t respond how you want How do you

behave when she becomes cooler towards you. One of the most valuable

tools at your Irresistible Texts disposal is space. Sometimes the best action

is inaction.

Look back to my Golden Rules section: 6. Mirroring her investmentlevels are very important. Seem way more into her than she’s into you,

and your disproportionate investment will scare her off. Sometimes

giving a person space is the best way forward.

Space allows you to:

• Maintain your cool.

• Consider your response.

• Allow her to miss your attention and consider her actions.

• Not appear needy or emotionally volatile.


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Some great times to use space would be:

• If she sends a message that doesn’t require a response

(‘hahaha’ or ‘Great thanks- have a good day’ are examplesof this).

• If she doesn’t reply to you asking for the date.

• If her response to you asking for the date is flaky, mirror her

investment levels with an ‘ok rain check! Mad busy over heretoo...’ then give her space.

• If she’s rude beyond just being playful.

Space doesn’t mean you’re never texting her again. It just means

you’re giving her a little time to consider her actions before you take thisany further. The general rule of thumb is giving a couple of days of space

for the first ‘offence’; then for every ‘offence’ after that extend how long

she does ‘space time’ for.

Being a ‘space cadet’ who is non-needy can be incredibly powerful:

when used in the right way. Appear cool, calm and independent throughyour messages and you always leave the door more open for recontacting

using a ping message: than if you fly off the handle.


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A BASIC IRRESISTIBLE

TEXTS STRUCTURE

If you’re thinking, ‘yikes that diagram is making my head hurt’ don’t

panic! There are some very simple rules at play here:

• If you get a warm response you are always trying to escalate

the interaction. So if you get a positive response you movethings in the direction of meeting up in person.

• You focus on setting up the date scenario before you

arrange the logistics (more on this later).

• You keep momentum up: and stay in some contact withthem until the date has happened.

• If at any stage you don’t get the response you want use ping

game to try to re-engage them.

• If their response becomes colder then you can try usingconnection building/ teasing texts to get their response

to a level of warmth where suggesting a date makes sense

again.


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And that is a basic structure to how all these guidelines and theories

may play out in real life.

Now let’s check out some examples of the text messages you can use...


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IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS RULE

BOOK: FIRST TEXTS

An Introduction to First Texts

First texts require no explanation, but that doesn’t make them any

easier to write. The first impression you make is important. You want to

hit the tone just right so that you come across as friendly but still sexy,interested but not needy, direct but not dismissive.

Get the tone wrong and decrease your odds of a response. Don’t get

a response to your first text and then you straight away have to consider

whether you should call the girl, risk sending two texts in a row, or angrily

deleting the girl’s number (not that I’d usually advise you to do this, or getangry full stop).

When?

You know that old rule about leaving it two days before you respond

to a girl? Forget it. Now. That rule was created when people only had alandline, and unhappy singletons spent their evenings clicking through

their voicemail. Now that we are never more than a foot from our BB, or

iEverythings it just doesn’t make sense any longer to wait ages before

sending her that first message.


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If you meet a girl during the daytime then drop her a text a couple

of hours after you’ve met. If you meet her at night, try the next afternoon.

In short strike whilst the iron is hot! That way she’ll remember howgreat the interaction was, you’ll have a genuine connection and she’ll

remember the reasons why she gave you her number in the first place.

Rules of text thumb

Look, as I’ve mentioned to you before there aren’t so much in theway of ‘hard and fast rules’ as there are ‘generally sensible guidelines’.

Each text, interaction and relationship is unique and should be treated as

such. That said when you’re putting a first text together...

• Don’t dive straight into asking for the date, unless you

already discussed this when you met (& she seemedseriously keen). Your first mission is always just to get a

response!

• Write a decent length of text. Very short texts make it hard

for her to respond to you.

• Try to include some details from the original interaction:

this will help her to remember why you clicked.

• Be specific. Asking vague ‘what have you been up to?’

style questions are, again, very tricky for her to respond

to. Instead make a specific assumption about what she’sdoing/ how she’s feeling.

• Don’t make it all about one specific question: if she doesn’t

respond to a texts that ends with a very direct question


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then it comes across like she’s ignored you. Even if this is

the case, you don’t want it to appear as such.

No response?

If your original message sucked- try again in 2 days time with a ping

message or put in an ‘anti-flake’ phone call.

1. Did that really just happen? Ok you’re officially crazy;

and so we should be friends. ADAM x

Use a qualification for why she gets to be your friend.

2. Hey ITALIAN MARIA- is this where I say CIAO? Ok I’m

rubbish. Let’s kick start a FOREIGN LANGUAGE course

via text. You teach me some ITALIAN & you get to learnthe best ENGLISH slang, ALEX

Use a knowledge exchange to get the banter started.

3. You + crazy DANCE MOVES + too much TEQUILA = a

really bad headache today. You better be in pain tooover there... RALPH x

Bring back fun memories of the night before.

4. Happy MONDAY... meeting you on SATURDAY night was

cool. Are you bored at your desk now or having waymore fun than me? PETE x

Engage them when they’re bored to up your chances of

a response.


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5. Hey LAURA, you seem like a pretty interesting girl;

despite the fact you love OASIS! We should catch up

sometime. FREDDIE x

Tease her about her hobbies & interests to prompt a response.

6. I went to bed at 5am last night... I remember meeting a crazy

girl at about midnight. Please explain (no rude words) what

happened in between...CHRIS x

Ask for no rude words and she might be tempted to disobey.

7. I like how you text me late last night. Sorry – got bored and

went home; feel free to carry on pestering me to meet though

;) JOHN x

Tease her if she text you first.

8. Hey HAIRDRESSER ALICE, are you busy dealing with a

demanding customer or gossiping with co-workers? PHIL x

Use what you know about her to assume what she’s up to whenshe receives the text.

9. Have you googled me yet ;)

Take a risk and assume everything she does is a sign she’s

massively attracted to you.

10. *Attach picture of breakfast/ cool activity etc* My weekend keeps

improving! Last night was almost as fun though... ;) Adrian x


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Use multimedia messages to get a more engaged response.

11. Did you ever make your meeting? It was fun making myself

late for work by meeting you HARJ x

Sometimes it’s ok to be romantic, as long as you don’t come

across as needy.

12. And here was me thinking you were going to break the

stereotype and text me first ;) or are you not as much of arebel as I thought? Phil x

Make her justify herself to get a response.

13. Random meeting you like that... or have you always ignored

your parents’ warnings about talking to strangers? ;) AIDEN x

Things are more tempting to do if they’re forbidden.

14. And here was I thinking I was having a boring Sunday...

Risky. Only use if you think she fell for you or if you met in anunusual way.

15. Hey NEW YORK LISA, so how has your first month in London

been? Hope you haven’t had to ‘cut a bitch’ (or whatever

you get up to in BROOKLYN) yet ;) RICH x

Use where they’re from, or another stereotype, to tease them.

16. Still can’t believe you’ve never heard of THE CURE. We’re

never going to be Facebook friends at this rate... Mike x


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Challenge her on her tastes& let her know she has to qualify to

be your friend.

17. So from now on, every time I catch the TRANSPORT am I going

to meet an interesting girl, in a BLUE COAT & talk about VIDEO

GAMES? Carl x

Use a low risk reminder of where you met her to show you

listened to her.

18. Hey MARSHA, you seemed like a pretty interesting girl to meet

in CLOTHES SHOP. Next time we speak should be over COFFEE,

not CLOTHES RAILS, though. PETER x

If you met a girl whilst she was working sometimes it workstaking a risk & being direct.

19. Hi RACHEL, always good meeting someone who’s into XXXX-

you can’t have everything in common with me though. Bet

you don’t like XXX, XXXX, or XXXXX Chris x

Give her a detailed list of likes/ dislikes and she’ll have plenty to

respond to.

20. Hey CHRISTINA, so I guess this is blind texting? Feel like

throwing caution to the wind and going for blind phone call

instead? Ed x

If you didn’t meet in person, try to up their investment by

getting them on the phone.


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21. Hey MELISSA, I like how we’ve upgraded from emails to texts:

do you always like to move fast? ;)

Do a role reversal and make out that she’s the one pursuing you.

22. Hey NINA, now we’re officially off work’s internet system,

why don’t we say something naughty...? Like how I’ve always

suspected that there’s something going on between JO in

ACCOUNTS and MIKE...

Share a secret to create an ‘in joke’

23. Hey very CHILLED SARAH, so are you totally used to guys

coming up to you in the street? You seemed like a pro to me,

IAN ;)

Discuss their personality: everyone likes talking about

themselves.

24. Hey LINDA, I don’t usually text girls first but you looked like

you had a lot to say ... So what else don’t I know about you?

FRANK x

Set an expectation that she has a lot to say for herself to get a

good response.

25. Hey! Here’s my number, keep it safe, don’t show it to your

friends, or text it 100 times a day, and I think we could becomegood friends :P WILLIAM x

Use what her fears about you could be in order to tease her in

reverse.


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5 WAYS TO...SAY HELLO

What to say, what to say.

The first text (like so many first’s) is always the worst: the trickiest to

write. However, there are five styles of first text that you can play around

with and adapt to give you the best chance of her saying hello back.

1. It was ‘random’ how you met, wasn’t it?

So you thought about how to approach the girl you were interested

in for about five minutes, moved into the right position, began to walk

forward three times (psyched yourself out twice) then eventually said ‘Hi’

using a line you’d heard.

Unsurprisingly going out ‘on the pull’ and approaching lots of women;

is not the ‘romantic dream’ a girl will want to believe is the reason you

approached her. So making a comment about the serendipitous nature

of how you met is usually a good idea. Though a text like the one below

will work uncannily well when sent out on mass to multiple women (not

that I’d advocate such a thing . . .):

Random meeting you like that . . . or have you always ignored your

parents’ warnings about talking to strangers? ;) AIDEN x


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2. It’s all about her

People tend to have a relatively sick fascination with their own lives:

so focusing your first text around her makes good sense. Tease her abouther life, or ask her a question that is pertinent to what you knew she was

going to spend the rest of the day, or night, doing.

Think you don’t know anything about her? Well I’m sure you probably

know her name and where she’s from (if you don’t use a generic text like

the one above). A little imagination involving national stereotypes canleave you with a text that is teasing and relevant:

Hey NEW YORK LISA, so how has your first month in London been?

Hope you haven’t had to ‘cut a bitch’ (or whatever you get up to in

BROOKLYN) yet ;) RICH x

3. Remind her

A great way to bring back that ‘high point’ of when you got her

number is to remind her of what you talked about at the time you met.

The good news is this doesn’t have to be a witty comment. You canliterally list the conversational ‘hooks’ in a fun format like the one below:

You + crazy DANCE MOVES + too much TEQUILA = a really bad

headache today. You better be in pain too over there . . . RALPH x

Just make sure at the end you use that magic word ‘you’ to turn thecomment back towards the girl you’re texting (‘You better be in pain too

over there . . . ‘) so she knows that she has something to respond to and

comment on.


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4. A well timed assumption

Instead of asking a girl ‘What are you up to?’, it’s usually tons more

effective to imagine what she’s doing. That’s right, take a guess. This worksso much better than a direct question, because whilst a direct question

may make her feel put on the spot (and seriously ding your value if she

doesn’t respond) an assumption will prompt her to correct you, or explain

what she’s doing: because you’re making a comment about her life . . . .

which is the one thing people tend to reliably be interested in, and feel

the need to respond to.

Happy MONDAY . . . meeting you on SATURDAY night was cool. Are

you bored at your desk now or having way more fun than me? PETE x

You may also want to think about the timing of your text.

If you meet on Saturday night then when she’s bored at her desk

on a Monday morning can be a great time to send the message that

brings back all of those positive memories of when you met. (However,

if she’s the kind of girl that likes to be chained to her desk—in a purely

workaholic sense—then Sunday would be better timing to engage her.)

5. Be gentle with her

Teasing is awesome: and absolutely fundamental in making sure that

you don’t wind up friend zoned. That said, tease too hard on a number

that isn’t that hot and she’ll could think ‘what an idiot’ and ignore you. So

use texts like:

So have you googled me yet? ;)

Sparingly on numbers that are very solid: or if you happen to have


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got a LOT of numbers and want to work out which girls are seriously keen

on you. A great time to use a tease would be if the girl has come onto you

strongly/ contacted you. Here you can pretend that she’s the one who is

pursuing you:

I went to bed at 5am last night . . . I remember meeting a crazy girl

at about midnight. Please explain (no rude words) what happened in

between . . . CHRIS x

If not incorporate teasing after you’ve already got a good response.


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RULES OF IRRESISTIBLE

TEXTS

Workshop 1. Ice Breakers Online

Thanks to the infinite amount of ways technology has found us to

say ‘hi’ you may not have got a girl’s number: you could have got her

email or her Facebook name. It is also a valid form of staying in contact tostate that you would like (say “Let’s me take your number,” not “Can I have

your number”) if she feels uncomfortable giving you her number.

So how do you say hi through other forms of media?

Facebook:

1. Send a message to incentivise your add: When it comes to adding

girl’s on Facebook a personal message does help. She’ll feel more at ease,

and that it’s more personal. Also if you add a girl and don’t send her an

ice breaker message what do you think the chances are of her taking the

initiative to accept you?

2. If you’re adding tons of girls: delete the update from your wall.

Appear like a player and she won’t think ‘wow he’s so in demand’; she’ll

be suspicious.


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3. Avoid being generic: Just like a text message personalise and don’t

just over validate her with a generic comment about her looks. So ditch

the ‘hey cutie, I love your smile in your profile pic’ and rapidly replace with

a version of the text templates

A template for an ice breaker Facebook you could use is:

Hey Sarah

Interesting meeting you last night—congrats for managing tohold it together on the dance floor.

Though I’ve just seen you like Akon . . . explain? I expected you to

be more of a rock chick. Let’s catch up sometime Eric

Email:

1. If this is a vaguely business contact that you obtained ‘indirectly’

on the grounds of ‘networking’ then you need to make that the main

premise of the email. Launch into lots of social chit chat and you will

appear like you’ve mislead her. Instead keep it business orientated at the

beginning and end—with just a short social anecdote in between.

Hey Kat

Here is the link to the event I mentioned:

Just got back from a long jog—definitely trying to fit too muchinto a Monday. How’s your project going? Did you beat your deadlines

or are you joining me in being chronically behind?

Regards, Rupert


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2. Keep it short: yes emails allow you to write at length—don’t. Keep

it short and to the point. Anything too long—or several emails in a row

unanswered would be an over investment.

3. Don’t do a Facebook add: you have her email—ergo it’s very

tempting to add her on Facebook, linked in, Twitter etc or other social

media. However, if you’ve said you’ll email stick to this for now. If some

serious banter ensures—or you meet in person a few times then an ‘add’

or a ‘follow’ will seem a lot more ‘friend’ than ‘fan’.


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IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS:

CONNECTING TEXTS

Intro to Connecting Texts

Imagine this: you met a cute girl in a club on Saturday night, after

you swapped some texts Sunday you arranged a date . . . two weeks from

now (drat that work conference/ essay deadline/ her hectic social life). This is great but by the time two weeks has passed, she may not feel up

for the date. She’ll flake.

Why? Remember when you made that commitment to go to a

friend’s birthday way ahead of time? When you agreed to it you were

pretty convinced that you were going to go? Then the day comes around,you haven’t caught up with your friend in ages, you’ve got a busy week at

work, you feel broke and you FLAKE.

Exactly the same things may go through a girl’s mind in the run up

to meeting you. If you got her number quickly, if she was uncertain to

begin with, if it’s ages before you can meet again in person, you need tostay in touch. Use connecting texts to build that investment from her and

make sure she feels more into you than ever by the time your date comes

around.


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When?

You don’t want to overwhelm a girl by texting her every day: but you

don’t want to leave her weeks at a time without hearing from you.

Aim to have a quick text exchange maybe once every 3 days in-

between when you set the date, and when you eventually get to hook up.

Keep these exchanges quite brief: you don’t want to destroy the

mystery, you just want to keep her interested enough so that she doesn’tflake on your date.

Rules of Text Thumb

These texts should give value: they should make her smile, be

conversational and easier to respond to.

The shorter and more direct they are the higher risk they become. ‘So

. . . ‘ text to the right girl, who’s into you, will push her to write something

witty; a girl that isn’t biting quite so hard will ignore you.

Use games, MMS and curiosity to prompt a response.

Don’t over invest: keep your conversations short, try to end the

text conversation first and don’t keep pushing if she’s giving you low

investment responses. Instead of trying to keep her talking, give her

some space to miss you.

No response?

These texts should be generally low investment i.e. It shouldn’t

matter too much if you send one with no response. A couple in a row


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unanswered though could spell trouble. Give her a few days to respond

and if you don’t hear anything, pick up the phone and try to build her

interest levels the old fashioned way—by having a conversation.

1. So . . . .

A high risk prompt if you want her to take the initiative.

2. Time to get to know you better—let’s play five questions. Just

keep yours clean ;)

Use some reverse psychology to get her flirting with you.

3. Knock Knock

Ivan.

Ivan to stop texting and see you in person . . .

Use a classic corny joke to get her responding.

4. So I’ve had a day involving breaking hearts, near death

experiences and ice cream . . . can you top that?

Suggest your life is awesome and challenge her to compete with it.

5. I’m sure you told me about something you were doing today

that was important to you. Naturally I’ve forgotten all about

what it is—but I have remembered to ask about it?

You can make this up—and come across like a jerk—but if your

relationship is playful it could still work!


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6. Aren’t you going to tell me off?

Twig her curiosity to get her drawn into responding.

7. Monday mornings suck don’t they?

Talk about a feeling everyone shares to engage her.

8. My three most recent googles: ‘Dirty knock, knock jokes’,

‘corrupt corporations’, ‘translate ‘PIXIE’ into Cornish’. You?

A fun exercise to play with a girl and suggest a little about what

kind of a guy you are.

9. Just stocked up on GINGER BEER, PRETZELS & ELASTIC BANDS

i.e. I’m working hard. What are your 3 desert island items?

Use classic scenario questions to get a well thought out

response.

10. It’s going to be a long day (it’s tough being so important ;) . . .

are you going to make me envious by doing something morefun?

Prompt her to boast to you, then tease her about what she says.

11. Isn’t this supposed to be NATIONAL CAKE DAY? Are you

celebrating yet? X

Every week there’s a national holiday of some kind – abuse

this fact.


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12. I’m bored—let’s play a game. I spy, with my little eye, something

beginning with B . . .

Transform old fashioned games via text.

13. I’m instigating a game of text tag—put your foot in?

Create an environment of fun by recreating school games.

14. Yikes have you seen the news today? I won’t be impressed ifyou’re not a current affairs kind of girl ;)

Use something topical to kick start a conversation.

15. Imagine you’re doing HOT CHOCOLATE after a RAINY DAY &

watching WIFE SWAP. Question is, are you also psychic?

Be cocky by assuming what she’s doing, and be prepared to be

corrected!

16. Is it wrong that I hate HAPPY NEW YEAR’S texts?

Use the time of year to send an unconventional seasonal

message.

17. I’ve decided we need to quit our jobs and go on holiday to

THAILAND . . . .

Talk about future adventures to engage her imagination.


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18. I had a very late night yesterday. Drank a silly amount. Never

again until I can afford 24 hour care the day afterwards . . .

Talk charismatically about your life and see if she compareshers.

19. Sunshine! You better be out preening, picnicking and partying.

Use the environment to suggest to her what you should be

doing.

20. Hmmm . . . * insert YouTube video or picture*

Send a link, wait for her opinion on it, and then disagree!

21. Have you ever read ‘GONE WITH THE WIND?’ . . . there’ssomething of the SCARLET O’HARA about you.

Use comparisons with books & movies to compliment her.

22. Where am I? *insert picture* strictly three guesses only!

Use picture messages to play games.

23. Rubbish day! You get bonus points if you can make me smile

Challenge her to impress you.

24. How many stars would you give today? If below 4 let’s fix that.

Make her smile on a dull day.


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25. Weekend score sheet: please complete. Number of drunken

adventures . . . Friends that made you laugh . . . Hours taken out

to chill out . . .

Use a text template and get her to fill in the blanks.


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5 WAYS TO . . . KEEP IT

GOING

If your date is more than a few days away: or if you’re in the early

stages of dating, you’re going to need/ want to occasionally get in touch

with the girl.

You need to strike the balance of communication just right in orderto maintain attraction but not overwhelm her.

Texting every day would be way too much: texting once a week

probably too little to maintain enough interest on her part to see you for

another date.

So keep the text ratio generally 1:1: breaking this only if you’ve

had a few days of space in between your texts and she’s still replying

consistently.

Now that I’ve banged on about how often to text a girl; here are a

few neat pointers about how you can keep the interaction going.

1. Give them something to do:

I once knew a guy who kept a colouring book and crayons on his


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coffee table for ‘lady friends’ to play with when they came over. Now it’s

not that women have the brain power of pre-schoolers but what they

do like is an activity that is focused on them and that is fun. Creating

texts that involve MMS, or are formatted in an original way to give a girlsomething to ‘fill in’ should prompt a response. Just make sure you then

move on from the raw data to something more conversational:

You: Weekend score sheet: please complete. Number of drunken

adventures . . . Friends that made you laugh . . . Hours taken out to chill

out . . .

Her: Number of drunken adventures 0 Friends that made you

laugh 3 Hours taken out to chill out 0

You: Well glad to hear a girl has great friends: but other scores

are shameful! We’ve got to change that. Starting with the drunkenadventures: mojitos or daiquiri?

And hopefully now you’re setting up an impromptu date.

2. Play a game:

Game playing, and having fun are key to building smiles, positive

associations and investment from the girl you’re texting. Try re-inventing

‘old school’ games for text to have a fun little exchange. Just remember

not to drag it out for too long: a couple of texts back and forth then

arrange another time to meet in person or speak over the phone:

I’m bored—let’s play a game. I spy, with my little eye, something

beginning with B . . .


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3. Say what you see:

Current affairs, the weather, the funny incident that happened to you

in the street today are all great fodder for a reason to contact. Bring upsomething topical: or suggest what she should be doing in the sunshine

as a means to stay in touch, whilst keeping it relevant.

Also try to be even smarter and make the text focused on her by

using the magic word, ‘you’. This usually adds a more teasing element

to a text. Used like the example below it also suggests that you havestandards for the people entering your life . . . and that you won’t settle

for anything less. This is an important process (that I’ll discuss more in the

next section) also known as ‘qualification’:

Yikes have you seen the news today? I won’t be impressed if you’re

not a current affairs kind of girl ;)

4. Your life is AWESOME:

Knowing your own self worth is vital in having success in every

aspect of your life. Before I go on a rant about the importance of knowing

how great you are though: I just want to focus on how this relates toIrresistible Texts.

If you suggest—through your texts—that you’re the kind of guy that

has a fun, exciting, unusual life you are selling your lifestyle to her. If you

feel you have a great life, and project that, she will want in. So keep your

text filled with unique details to comment on, like this one:

My three most recent googles: ‘Dirty knock, knock jokes’, ‘corrupt

corporations’, ‘translate ‘PIXIE’ into Cornish’. You?


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5. Make them curious . . .

If you think the girl you’re texting is into you then you can drive

her insane (with desire of course) by pushing the responsibility forconversation on her. Say you’ve been doing a great job of ‘playing it cool’,

and the girl you’re texting always replies with lightening speed i.e. the

number is very hot. Then use a generous amount of . . . to get them to

fill the blanks, and keep investing: or say something that will engage

their curiosity. A text like the one below after a period of giving the girl

you’re dating space is likely to make her: a. Really anxious b. Have a strongemotional reaction that makes her even more invested in the outcome of

your relationship c. Text you back.

Aren’t you going to tell me off?


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TEXTS

Workshop 2. Signs she’s ready for the date

Now that you’ve achieved your first objective (getting her to

respond) it’s time to work on how to get her onto a date: because this is

where the fun really begins.

OK so when and how do you go for the date?

Let’s deal with the ‘when’ first and, later on, we’ll deal with ‘how’.

Just like interactions during real life the timing of when you ‘escalate’is important. Imagine you’ve just sat down with some girls in a bar. How

weird would it be for the first thing you say to be asking the girl out on

the date? She hasn’t done anything yet to prove her value to you, except

from being relatively attractive. And, trust me, there are a lot of relatively

attractive girls out there. Asking for a date at this stage lowers your value,

and is an over investment. Similarly the first text you send (unless you’vealready escalated sufficiently during the initial interaction) won’t go right

in for the date.

But do you know what also kills attraction? Not escalating in time. If


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you sit there talking pleasantly to a girl without at any stage upping your

kino, going for a close or just talking more sexually, you’re going to be

friend zoned.

The same goes for texts.

Whilst you probably don’t want to go for the date straight away,

you’ve got to at some stage, or she will stop replying. Why? Because she

doesn’t know where the interaction is going, and whilst she may welcome

you as a friend into her life, people will generally invest much more inromantic rather than platonic connections.

So when is the right time to go for the date?

Look at the regularity of texts: with my girlfriends I won’t worry

about leaving it a while until I get back to them (they’re not goinganywhere right?) but I will respond to guys I’m interested in. So if you’re

phone is exploding with texts that’s a good sign. She may be ‘playing it

cool’, and taking her time to respond: but as long as when the response

comes she:

- Asks about you

- Volunteers details of her life that you didn’t ask for

- Teases or flirts with you

Then she’s probably going to be keen to meet in person.


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Is she hitting on you? Counter intuitively it is often the less direct

sexual references that are the most important. If she’s putting loads of

kisses and calling you affectionate names (like babe, honey or anything

else a little sickening!) you may be teetering on the friend zone. Girlswill often be a little bit more coy with guys they’re really into. Too much

affection early on suggests that she is very comfortable with you and may

just see you as a friend. If the possibility for sex is there, she’ll reference it

but in a much more subtle way. If sex is a possibility she won’t want to

over commit herself by making it explicit that it’s going to happen.

Instead she’s more likely to sexually qualify herself to you. Thiscould be:

1. By drawing attention to her physical fitness/ prowess: Any

continual references to how she is a gym bunny, just getting into running

or has always done yoga because she is flexible could well mean, ‘I’m

physically fit and great in bed’. Simple as that.

2. By drawing attention to how she is becoming more attractive:

This could be anything from telling you about a new pair of heels/

manicure she has got (she expects you to be excited and aroused at the

prospect of her wearing them).

3. By telling you she isn’t ‘sexy’ things that qualify herself as

a girlfriend to you: Like that she’s a great cook/ loves dancing/ loves

football. These things are all seeking your approval and implying that

she’d be a great person to have in your life.

4. Has there been a change in her texting habits?: If she hassuddenly started replying a lot faster, more frequently, or has initiated

a text conversation with you it implies that she wants a date. Maybe

the other guys she was dating is no longer in the running. A change in

her texting habits could well mean that there has been a change in her


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personal logistics: she may have broken up with a boyfriend, decided to

move on from another man she was interested in, or just decided life’s

too short and that she wants to have some fun!

These signals that I’ve spoken about aren’t a hard and fast rule that

now is a good time to go for a date: but they are a decent guideline for

when is a good time to try.


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IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS: DATE

TEXTS

An Introduction to Date texts

Yup the moment has arrived: a few texts have been swapped, it

seems like it’s going well and you want to ask her out on a DATE.

That said, you don’t want to ever seem like it’s all about her. Your text

should express something that you want to do, be relatively direct and be

just unique enough to make her smile.

When?

In short, as soon as you get an invested response from a girl. For

more information about this, scroll back a page and read my ‘signs she’s

ready for a date’ section.

A general guideline though would be to ask for the date sooner rather

than later. Text conversations that run on and on will leave her wonderingwhat your game plan is: and kill the excitement of the interaction.


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Rules of Text Thumb

• Go for it! If she gives you a ‘no’ (or a ‘maybe’ which is as good as

a ‘no’) without offering any other date suggestions, at least youknow where you stand and what you have to work with.

• Be direct and use strong language that suggests the date is

already on.

• Try to ‘paint a picture’ of the date that gives her a clear idea ofwhat she’s signing up to.

• Make the date relevant to something you’ve discussed, or a

challenge to her, and you may up your chances of receiving a

positive response.

That said don’t arrange a date around her by asking her where she

wants to go, what she wants to do, when she’s free etc. Be decisive and

choose options that work for you.

If the number was/ is pretty cold then she is more likely to agree to

a low investment date.

No response?

Or should I say, not the response you want? If she makes an excuse

as to why she can’t meet, and doesn’t offer a solution herself (like another

time you can link up) then accept that she means won’t. Trying to solvethe logistics will only lower your value. Instead match her investment.

Seem nonchalant about her not being able to meet:

‘ok cool no problem x’


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‘that’s cool, Friday was always going to be hectic for me too x’.

Then give her a few days space, before trying to re-contact her. If

she’s flaked on you, or turned you down numerous times, turn to PingGame to learn about how increasing space, can help to solve this.

If you get no response at all don’t react in an emotional or aggressive

way: in fact play it cool, don’t react at all and turn to Ping Game.

1. Wednesday night. Dinner. Be early ;)

Take a risk by being direct and demanding.

2. Generic compliments, playful teases and emoticons aside—

drink Wednesday?

Show that you don’t want your relationship just to exist via text.

3. a.) You annoy me b.) Make that infuriate c.) Coffee Friday?

End some banter with a date.

4. Can’t think of a good reason to go out for a celebratory

drink . . . but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday, somewhere

right now so we should toast to that x

You don’t need a good excuse to ask her out for a drink.

5. Surely a bad day today for any adventurous outdoor dates—so

how about I loan you a towel whilst I make us hot chocolate?

Use the environment to tailor your date suggestion.


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6. How about we do a bake off this weekend? You’ll win, but

I’ll enjoy feeding you cupcakes

Suggest fun and unusual activities to tempt her onto a date.

7. Let’s buy souvenir t-shirts and spend a weekend

sightseeing . . . tourist style

Show your creative side with an inventive date.

8. That just makes me think of ASIAN FOOD . . . Looks like we’ll

have to get that this weekend to satisfy my craving

Use your conversation to jump to asking for a date.

9. Hands tired . . . fingers aching . . . all this texting is givingme RSI. Let’s carry this conversation on in person—after

work good for you?

Get off the phone—and meet in person!

10. I still want to talk fashion, eat Italian and drink cocktails . . .preferably this Thursday at the MANDARIN ORIENTAL.

Give a detailed picture of what she can expect from the date.

11. Koen dé-Gwener? Asked you out in Cornish . . . Points for

originality?

Use humour to prompt a positive, if not sexy, response.


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12. It’s Friday . . . good enough excuse to sling back one too

many D&S COCKTAILS I think. Meet me at BAR around 7?

Be direct, yet specific enough to create an image of the date.

13. Welcome to the tradition of Thirsty Thursdays. I think you

can handle a STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE SHOT on a school

night . . . so are you game to join us later?

Make up a day of the week that demands drinking to instigate agroup meet up.

14. Let’s link up this weekend. Picnic for good weather, indoors-

nic if not x

Assume she’s going to agree to the date.

15. Is it bad to admit I’m bored at my desk? How about we rename

today Madness Mondays and make like it’s Friday night?

Tempt her to break the rules with a high risk spontaneous date.

16. You’re ridiculously busy. I’m ridiculously busy. Let’s multi-

task and do a study date. Just promise not to distract me x

Both busy? Do an ‘errand date’.

17. Ok cool. Let’s meet in person to discuss, Wednesday orThursday night best for you?

Play it cool & professional—but only give her options that

involve meeting you.


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18. We should do ICE SKATING one day, good for your

POSTURE, don’t you know?

Suggest a date that could help her achieve something.

19. Texting is ok but how about we upgrade each other to face

time? Coffee Wednesday?

She doesn’t ‘upgrade’ you, you ‘upgrade’ her.

20. We always seem to miss each other. I want to change that.

How about we kick start with coffee next week?

Try softening a higher risk direct question with a low

investment date.

21. Just watched the THIRTEEN SAMURAI and find myself in the

mood for JAPANESE FOOD. A little wrong I know, but you

better not say no to SUSHI

Suggest a date because something ‘just happened’ to make you

think to do it.

22. Ever heard of a backwards dinner?

We kick start with ICE CREAM, and wind up doing CANAPES

at midnight. Plan is best executed on Friday night—does

that work ok for you?

Create mystery with a question: then follow it up with a specific

date idea. Best used on later dates.


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23. What are you drinking right now? I’d like to buy you

another one . . .

Interrupt her night out with a risky, but sexy, reminder of you.

24. Finding a time we can both meet = nightmare. Latte

Monday, deal or no deal?

Always try to match her interest levels in going for a date.

25. *attach image* do you know what this is?

Symbolic representation of our date Monday . . . see you at

7? X

Use quirky or creative communication on quirky and creativegirls.


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5 WAYS TO . . . CREATE MORE

DESIRE FOR DAY TWOS

Now that you’ve got her to respond to your first texts and she’s given

you great signs of interest here are five ways you can go about making

the date happen.

Never sound apologetic: Firstly if you want to get a good responseyou want to avoid texts that appear needy, unconfident and uncertain.

You want to avoid seeming uncertain of whether the date is going

to happen with texts like these:


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This text makes it seem like you’re working around her and that she’s

running the show! At this stage it shouldn’t be about whether she’s got

time to see you: it’s about you wanting to see her and having a clear goal

of getting her on a date.

So don’t worry about whether she’s free or not. If she has enough

desire for you she will make the logistics work: even if she can’t make the

first time you offer, she will come back to you with a better suggestion

and a date/ time that could work.

By using words like ‘maybe’ and asking her what she’s up to, you

lose value, and fail to exhibit the sexually aggressive, masculine, leader

qualities that girls find so sexy.

Be Specific: Also always avoid sending texts like:

“What are you up to this weekend?”

It is way too vague. Send a girl an unspecific date suggestion and

she will usually give you an unspecific answer like ‘maybe’; or she will

make up some excuse as to why she may be able to make it, but may

have to cancel or let you know. This is her hedging her bets because sheis uncertain what she is signing up to if she says that she doesn’t have any

plans. If she says she’s free you could suggest a date she hates the idea of

and then she’ll have to be rude and decline. Girls usually like to be polite

so they won’t want to leave themselves exposed to a potentially awkward

social situation. Instead give her a clear idea of what the date will involve.


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Be Certain: So I want you to start writing texts that clearly showwhat the date will involve, and seem really confident that she’s going to

want to go on the date. To do this use imperative, commanding, powerful

language to imply that it’s on. Don’t be afraid to state what you want.

In fact using phrases like ‘I want’ and ‘let’s’ show those sexy, masculine,

leadership qualities.

Make Decisions: You also want to lead and always make decisions

where possible. Decide the date location, day and time. Again you don’t

want to pussy foot around her: you have a busy schedule and whilst it’s

fine to compromise a bit, you want to be the man and take the initiative

to take her somewhere you like. Don’t ask her for date suggestions at thisstage: it makes you seem weak, and maybe even inexperienced.

Tip: make your texts more exciting is to use exciting vocabulary when

talking about your date. Skip words like ‘nice’ when describing your experience,

and date suggestions. Instead go for awesome, intriguing, amazing etc. This

is why the rst text will get a better response than the second:


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Make it easy for her to commit: A trip to Paris may sound great

on paper, but she won’t want to make such a big investment of her time

or energy just yet. You also shouldn’t give her that much value. Insteadgo for a date that is low investment, and easy to commit to. A quick

drink after work, or a coffee, is a fine starting point. This way you won’t

be competing with her BFFs for her weekend time and if the date sucks

you can both bail early! Remember that you can always grab dinner

afterwards if the date really is going well. But it will be easier to ‘up sell’

her when she’s already on the date rather than beforehand; especially ifshe seems uncertain to begin with.

And if she is uncertain, if she does flake, if the number goes cold,

don’t worry! We’ll be looking at Ping texts soon enough and it is better

that you GO FOR IT; then live wondering ‘what if?’


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TEXTS

Workshop 3. What next..?

The date has occurred . . . and suddenly you realize that now you

have to arrange another one. This is met with mixed feelings in your gut:

part ‘get in’, part ‘not all that again’.

I can save you some stress here with a simple list of dos and don’ts

post date.

Don’t send her a gushing post date message. If she sends you a

sweet text by all means respond: but don’t come on too strong with a, ‘itwas so great to meet you’ kind of message. Girls like to chase too . . .

Do drop her a line the next day. Make this on a similar line to your

first text: avoid being too friendly, concerned if she got home ok etc.

Instead say something a little teasing: if she was a little tipsy, or you had

fits of laughter over something, bring that back up in your message.

Don’t ask for another date straight away.Going straight for organising

another date feels too full on. Play it cooler and wait until she is texting you

back (or even better initiating the conversation) before you ask for date two.


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Do be direct when you ask for day two: remember you are a man:

a real ‘hunter gatherer’, it is cool for you to state what you want. So once

the texts have started again, keep it brief and just state, ‘Drinks with you

were fun: let’s do more laughter over cocktails next week. Tuesday goodfor you?’

Do try a two stage set up if you’re uncertain: if you’re really not

sure how well it went, or how she feels: use the word ‘sometime’ or ‘one

day’ to suggest a date. Then if she seems into your date suggestion tie

it down to a day/ time. This is a great way of feeling her out on a datewithout losing too much value if she doesn’t go for it. Your interaction

may go a little like this:

You: So did you spend all Sunday watching re-runs of Glee? I’m

unconvinced but you can drag me to a dance class some time

Her: Shut up! Glee is great and I love dancing—you know it’s fun!

You: Ok then Salsa class, Holborn, Wednesday—but we’re getting

a strong drink after you put me through this ;)

See it was all her idea really!

Don’t jump to negative conclusions: If you’re starting to panic

because she hasn’t got back to your message asap, she mentions how

she’s going on a night out with friends, or brings up a boy’s name. Please

stop yourself. You’ve known this girl for a matter of hours: don’t care too

much and have faith that she is into you.

Do use teasing to stage another date: If your date was noticeably

clumsy/ tipsy/ or really giggled when you mentioned something use this

‘tease’ to angle for another date:


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You: Hey Clumsy girl—have you spilt any drinks today? Worrying

over here that I can’t take you anywhere . . .

Her: Hey! I’m very well mannered I’ll have you know, I only spilt alittle of my wine!

You: Ok well for your next challenge we can do high tea somewhere:

that will be the acid test of whether you have any manners!

Don’t suggest a date that’s too high investment: sure your datemight wind up you eating dinner, hitting two bars, tumbling into a taxi

and winding up having crazy sex at your apartment. But you can’t let on

that’s the plan! Ask her for just the dinner or just the drink . . . then leave

the rest of your evening free.

Do up-sell: she may only feel comfortable agreeing to a drink far inadvance. However, on the night—if it’s all going well—it’s going to be

much easier to extend the date. So even if you’re just meeting for another

‘quick after work drink’; have a plan in mind of another bar or two you

could take her to . . . preferably on route back to your apartment.

Don’t change your texting style: Keep it simple and unreactiveuntil you’re ‘official’ i.e. Even if she shoves a ton of xxxx at the end of her

message don’t feel you need to reciprocate. Instead keep it cool until you

know where you both stand.


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IRRESISTIBLE TEXTS:

TEASING TEXTS

An Introduction to Teasing Texts

It is very important, in your texts and interactions generally, that you

do not pander to a woman. Say the words you think she wants to hear,

instead of your true opinion, and she’ll lose respect for you.

Instead set challenges for a woman, or tease her, to create that spark

of attraction where she feels she hasn’t quite got your affections yet.

Teasing texts can be used instead of connecting texts; and if she’s

running late, or if you disapprove of something she’s done, they’re alsouseful in establishing your personal boundaries in a fun and light hearted

way.

When?

In-between dates, in place of connecting texts, when she pops intoyour mind, when you’re a little annoyed at something she’s done, when

you want to ping her after a few days of no contact. The possibilities are

endless!


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Rules of Text Thumb

• Take a risk and tease. It’s better to overstep the mark and have

to recover from that, rather than never doing any teasing and beingthoroughly friend zoned.

• Sometimes if she is trying to impress you they can be a useful alternative

to over complimenting her. Don’t let a girl get complacent in your affections.

• Teases are one way that a woman’s mind gets red up: teasing canmake her feel a stronger attraction to you, so use teases pre/post date.

• The basic rule of teasing texts? You are the man, and you are in control.

No response?

Ok she’s either: a. Not that into you and can’t be bothered to

respond. If this is the case you’re down to ping game and phone calls.

b. You’ve teased her too hard—if this is the case, tease her about this

fact with a ‘virtual hug’ style text. c. She doesn’t know how to respond;

if she has just missed one text, or if there is a language barrier, then this

might be the case. Stick to clearer texts to reinitiate contact next time.

1. So where are you taking me for our next hot date? ;)

Use role reversals to tease her.

2. I hate you . . . especially the kissing bit

Tell her that you hate something you actually love about her.


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3. Was you texting me last night your equivalent of a love poem?

Tease her for showing interest in you.

4. What’s this *attach image**sound of buzzer* nope . . . guess

again . . .

Use MMS to create guessing games.

5. Have I been too mean? If so, is your not replying a sign youwant a virtual hug?

Teased too hard? Then recover using this message.

6. You do know that you’re going to lose this argument right

Tease her into arguing harder, and investing more.

7. Did I mention that I love how you keep saying ‘no’?

Be blasé and persistent in the face of rejection

8. Don’t think I should believe girls who ALWAYS GO TO TIGER

TIGER

Say you disbelieve something she said.

9. Really? You’re not just fibbing to impress me ;)

Doubt the truth of what she says to get her to justify herself.


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10. *attach picture* yes I am boasting now

Use MMS to suggest how cool your life is, just don’t try too

hard!

11. You better not be EATING PIZZA AT MIDNIGHT again . . .

Use your knowledge of her idiosyncratic habits to tease her.

12. Now you do know I only date ladies . . .

Teasingly tell her what kind of girls you date.

13. I think that qualifies as bad behaviour on your part

Call her out jokingly anytime she behaves poorly.

14. You do know I think punctuality is the sexiest quality a girl

can have ;)

If she’s running late . . .

15. Running late are we? *makes mental note to slap MIA’s wrist*

Use her being late as an excuse to touch her.

16. You’re losing brownie points very rapidly over here

Have a brownie points system: which can be won or lost.


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17. So I lost a brownie point or two with you yesterday. You can

only stay mad at me if you assume I don’t have a good way of

making it up to you.

Tempt her back into contact.

18. Satisfied yet? Greedy . . . .

Make her out to be demanding.

19. I would say touché but let’s face it . . . you like the bickering

Tease her about how much she enjoys arguing with you.

20. Still angry? *attach cute picture*

Still angry? *attach cute picture*

Persist in ‘winning her back’ until you make her smile.

21. Banning you from saying you’re a. Tired b. Stressed c. Sad.

Feeling that way is strictly disallowed whilst we know eachother x

Suggest that you want to make her happy: but in a

commanding, non-needy way!

22. So how are you settling in NEW YORK girl? Had to CUT ABITCH yet? ;)

Tease her based on a stereotype of her job/ nationality


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23. I think it’s cute when you ignore me . . . is someone trying to

make a point?

Find her attempts at being mean to you funny.

24. You know I only accept xxx in XXX form?

Tease her about sex, rather than stating it directly.

25. Loser ;)

If in doubt of what teasing message to send . . . .


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5 WAYS TO . . . EFFECTIVELY

TEASE A GIRL

Don’t be afraid to tease a girl.

Whether you want to challenge a girl on her beliefs, show that you

have boundaries, or just make her laugh: teasing is a key way you shift

the interaction from being friendly to having sexual energy.

Don’t tease at all, make her feel comfortable and you will wind up

being ‘just friends.’ Sure you need to make a woman feel a degree of

comfort in your company: but what amazingly passionate relationships

do you know where both the guy and the girl were super relaxed with

one another? Exactly.

1. Use old school insults:

Girls love to be teased. You don’t want to say anything ‘nasty’ but you

can use ‘old school’ teases, nicknames and insults to create an element

of fun. Think of it as a textual version of push-pull: if all your texts are toosoppy this does nothing to create attraction. In fact some people really

enjoy being treated mean . . . and kept keen:

Loser ;)


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2. Move her through emotions:

You’re worried if you send that message that you’ll over step the

mark? Well, think of the tease as your ‘push’ then if she seems upset(which she shouldn’t be: being called a ‘loser’ is playful) then you can ‘pull’

her back in by teasing texts designed to make her smile.

Moving women through a range of emotions is good: no one’s

heart ever beat faster over a guy that just made them feel ‘meh’. Real

romance involves a good smattering of heart ache, highs and lows: sostart incorporating this into your text interactions.

If you over step the mark use a cute or funny picture you think she’d

be into (a pair of ‘hugging’ pugs works great on me) to keep prompting

her to smile:



3. Set boundaries

Teases can have a serious function too. If a girl has done something

to tick you off; or that you would consider being unacceptable behaviour

you don’t want to overreact. Especially if it’s a first time offence. This will

only serve to make you seem emotionally volatile; and that you care a lot

more about her, than she does about you.

Instead you can use a tease to suggest what qualities you’re looking

for, and what behaviour you want . . . without coming across like a jerk:

Y ou do know I think punctuality is the sexiest quality a girl can have ;)


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4. Express disbelief

Super simple tease: choose to disbelieve something she says. Pretty

women are used to having guys blindly agreeing with a lot of what they

say. A really simple way to show that you’re ‘not like the other guys’ is bygiving an unexpected answer to something that she’s said.

Instead of commenting ‘oh wow’ to her telling you that she’s actually

a dancer in her spare time: saying you’re not sure you believe her& that she

looked pretty clumsy to you . . . is going to be a much less expected response.

And remember as soon as she starts explaining herself to you—

you’re already in a position of strength:

I just don’t think I should believe girls who ALWAYS GO TO TIGER

TIGER BAR

5. She IS into you

An oldie but a goodie in terms of how you should choose to interpret

a situation (because you always have a choice in this).

Choosing to interpret everything as a sign that a girl is super intoyou can be a really fun idea. By being nonchalant in the face of any bitchy

behaviour, and gently teasing her attempts to tease you, or be mean; is a

great way of saying ‘do your best, I’m self assured enough to take it.’

Show a girl has hurt your feelings and you appear weak. Instead use

a combination of teasing her and giving her space to show where yourboundaries lie. Smile calmly when under pressure and know that you can

handle whatever she throws at you:

I think it’s cute when you ignore me . . . is someone trying to make

a point?


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TEXTS

Workshop 4. Turn your texts to sex

To kick start this workshop I’m going to tell you three very simple

things that ‘sexy’ isn’t to girls:

- It isn’t porno

- It isn’t funny

- It doesn’t show too much investment

So when you’re trying to escalate via text I want you to apply three

more golden rules:

1. Don’t use explicit language (that’s anything pornographic etc)

unless you’re already hooking up regularly/ you know she likes ‘dirty talk’.

2. Don’t appear embarrassed or awkward about sex (girls *hate* that)

by talking about it overly indirectly i.e. referencing her boobs as ‘melons’

or anything that sounds like it could have come out of a Benny Hill sketch.


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3. Don’t try to text escalate before you’ve managed to meet up

with her in a date context at least once. If you’ve got a number from a

cold approach, chatted to the girl for five minutes, it is going to seem

like way too much to start sexting. You may even wind up looking like aporn obsessed school boy. Remember to be non-needy and play it a little

cooler. The only exception to this is if the relationship is long distance .

. . in which case get the web cam out before you hit send on an overly

provocative text.

So how do you go about making things sexy?

Well first of all—just like real life—there is a stage where being more

sexual via text is the right thing to do.

I’d break down how to play it into three stages of hotness:

- Pre-first date

- Post first date

- Post sex

Pre—first date

Whilst you can introduce the topic of sex smoothly, relatively early

on in a ‘real life’ conversation: I think it’s risky to do so via text. If you’ve

only met her once and become too sexual too quickly it comes across

that you’re ‘only after one thing’: which even if you are, you don’t want toappear desperate for sex.

Instead try to inject flirtatious banter into the interaction by using

teasing texts:


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You’ll have to try harder than that . . .

By being direct when going for the date:

Let’s grab some tapas on Friday after work

By being ok to occasionally challenge her:

Not sure I do last minute changes of plan: so you’re going to have

to meet me halfway as a peace offering

These are not overtly sexual: but it sets the right tone: that you’re in

control, that you’re not needy and that you are ok to go afte

Irresistible Texts

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