Irish I'm Alright Jack Official Exam

7/28/2019 Irish I'm Alright Jack Official Exam

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The Bleedin’ State

of The place exam

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iReland 2013

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I’m alrIght jack

hi lv

papeR one - 2½ houRs

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The purpose of this exam is to d out just how hardeed you are to the plight of those ot

as fortuate as you i Irelad 2013 ad to d out just how far your ow self-deial goes.

The tests o the followig pages iclude a variety of hypothetical scearios ad are i

multiple choice format.

Choose your aswer A, B, C or D i each istace.

You ca view your score at the ed of this paper.



secTion 1:a casual conveRsaTion

O a suy Saturday afteroo, while you are out mowig the frot law, your ext door

eighbour, Sea, comes out ad you have a coversatio for the rst time i moths. After

some small talk, the coversatio turs toward your joit situatios ad how the recessiohas affected you both.

Q1. Sea tells you that he has had to take puishig cuts to his pay i the last 3 years,

while you have remaied relatively stable acially. What’s your iitial reactio?

A. □ Empathy ad compassio

B. □ Some uderstadig

C. □ Vague iterest

D. □ Tough shite!

Q2. You lear that Sea has bee i acial trouble for several moths ad has cut

back o most of his outgoigs i order to try ad stay aoat. What’s goig through

your head?

A. □ I could help him out if he’s stuck

B. □ A bit of austerity is good for the soul I suppose

C. □ I woder who’s wiig the rugby match?

D. □ Good eough for him

Q3. Sea’s bad chest has gotte worse sice he had to cut back o his medicatio ad

stop payig his health isurace to try ad keep up with his mortgage. Whaddya

thik?

A. □ I thik I have some spare cough medicie I ca give him. It’s the veryleast I ca do.

B. □ Health is more importat tha wealth

C. □ Ah here! Surely there’s always moey for a bottle of Beyli?

D. □ I ca’t sleep because the bastard keeps me awake at ight with his

coughig. I ca hear him through the walls.



Q4. Sea metios that eve though he was tryig to come to a egotiated settlemet

with the bak over reduced mortgage paymets, they refused ad are ow

threateig legal actio for repossessio. What do you say to that?

A. □ Repossessio i this day ad age! Sickeig.

B. □ There must be a social media site somewhere I ca complai o about this

C. □ That’s up to the baks. It’s well withi their rights to do this if people

do’t have the moey.

D. □ Ah bollix! That meas my taxes will be icreased to pay to rehouse him

ad his bloody family! Efg scrougers!

Q5. Sea’s daughter Aoife comes out ad asks her Dad for a couple of euro for a ice

cream. Sea tells her regretfully that he has’t got it ad he’ll buy her oe ext

week. Your reactio?

A. □ Here’s a teer Aoife, get oe for me ad your Dad while you’re at it.

B. □ Hmmm... I would’t mid ice cream for dessert later

C. □ The kid does’t eed ice cream whe there’s bills to be paid.

D. □ Some father he is. I hate people who do’t look after their kids.

Q6. You otice that the tax o Sea’s car is a couple of moths out of date. You ask him,

out of curiosity, why he has’t paid it. Sea replies that he has to juggle the aces

to cover all his outgoigs ad the lecky bill has to be paid this moth to avoid

discoectio. Thoughts?

A. □ Thigs must be really bad if it’s gotte to that poit.

B. □ Scadalous! Ad the roads are i poor coditio too.

C. □ I kow what you mea, but you still should have paid it before ow.

D. □ Feck the lecky bill. It’s summer ad the house should be warm eough

this moth. You should still be payig both ayway, like I do.

Q7. Sea’s washig machie is broke ad he has’t got the moey to repair it. Your

cosidered respose?

A. □ I kow a electricia fried of mie who’ll do it for you o the cheap ad

you ca pay him whe you have the moey.

B. □ That plaed obsolescece is a real bitch.

C. □ Whew, I wodered where that stech was comig from.

D. □ So wash them by had. That’s what the sik is for.



Q8. You otice that Sea’s widows are lookig like they eed to be replaced. You also

remark o how proud you are about the way your ow home is lookig after all

the moey you’ve put ito it over the years. Sea replies wearily that he bought at

the height of the boom ad subsequetly has o moey to keep it maitaied to the

level he would obviously like. What goes through your head?

A.

□You’re ot the oly oe i that situatio my fried, I completely

uderstad ad sympathise.

B. □ uPVC isulatio is’t THAT expesive.

C. □ I hope the wid does’t get too strog durig the Autum.

D. □ Bastard. Brigig dow the toe of the estate. I wish I had a more

cosiderate eighbour tha this layabout.

Q9. Sea gets a text message ad the tells you that his so Fibar has had a ijury

while playig football ad may eed to see a doctor urgetly over a suspected broke leg. Sea eeds to get dow there fast but there’s o petrol i the car for the

trip. What’s your reactio?

A. □ C’mo, we’ll take my car.

B. □ Football’s a competitive cotact sport. It’s oly atural to expect some

ijuries ow ad the.

C. □ Ad he ca’t pay his car tax either. Where’s he goig to get the doctor’s

fee too?

D. □ Tough break! I’d offer to help but this grass wo’t cut itself ad I thik I

ca see a rai cloud formig i the distace.

Q10. I desperatio, Sea phoes his wife Geraldie ad her sister maages to get Fibar

to the doctor. Sea is still worried about how he is goig to maage all the medical

bills but at least the iitial emergecy has bee take care of. Sea goes back ito

the house. How do you sum thigs up?

A. □ That’s a really sad picture of life i Irelad today. What have we come to?

B. □ I do’t facy their chaces. There’s probably a group somewhere that ca help.

C. □ I could probably help, but it’s ot my problem.

D. □ Fuckim!



secTion 2:picTuRe associaTion

For each questio, study the pictures A, B, C & D ad select the oe that describes you.

Q11.

Q12.

Q13.

Q14.

A.

A.

A.

A.

B.

B.

B.

B.

C.

C.

C.

C.

D.

D.

D.

D.



secTion 3:WORD ASSOCIATIOn

From the choices provided, tick the box that accurately describes your setimets towards

the subjects i each questio.

Q15. Politicia

A. □ Chage

B. □ Useless

C. □ Hoest

D. □ Itegrity

Q16. Bak

A. □ Robber

B. □ Bailout

C. □ s

D. □ Moey

Q17. Ecoomy

A. □ Fecked

B. □ Recessio

C. □ Solid

D. □ Stregth

Q18. Media

A. □ Iformatio

B. □ l

C. □ Etertaimet

D. □ Trt

Q19. Uemployed

A. □ neglected

B. □ Broke

C. □ Layabout

D. □ Scrouger

Q20. Evictio

A. □ Barbaric

B. □ Sad

C. □ Ievitable

D. □ Deserved

Q21. Homeless

A. □ Charity

B. □ Ueccessary

C. □ Useless

D. □ lr

Q22. Moey

A. □ Abudace

B. □ False

C. □ needed

D. □ Mie

Q23. School

A. □ Teachig

B. □ Idoctriatio

C. □ Educatio

D. □ Expesive



secTion 4:iRish socieTy

The followig questios are hypothetical scearios drawig o everyday experieces ad

situatio i Irelad i 2013. Aswer A, B, C or D for each questio.

Q24. You hear some govermet miister sayig o the RTE ews that Irelad’s ecoomy

is turig aroud. The TD is hardly challeged by the iterviewer ad does ot back up his statemet with ay hard facts. Do you believe the miister?A. □ not i the slightest. We’ve heard that for over 5 years.B. □ Possibly but I’d eed to check other sources to see if they’re sayig the

same thig.

C. □ Yes. The RTE ews is where I get all my iformatio.D. □ Completely! The govermet would’t lie to us.

Q25. Someoe tells you that a former work colleague has falle o hard times. You

worked with this perso for over 10 years. What will you do?A. □ Get some more iformatio ad offer to help if possible.B. □ Sped a lot of time tryig to d out more ad the do othig.C. □ Thik about it for a few miutes but the do othig at all. He’s just a

former work colleague ad othig further to do with me.

D. □ Sod him. That was the, this is ow.

Q26. A ew political party is formed which attempts to brig the power of Democracy back to the people. What do you thik about this idea?

A. □ We eed a chage, this could be somethig good if it’s true.B. □ I eed to look it up. I do’t kow either way.C. □ Why chage thigs with aother party? We have plety as it is ad ca

chage it i 5 years ayway.D. □ no way! Absolutely ot! That might affect my aces ad status if these

‘lefties’ get i.

Q27. You hear that there is a plaed evictio i the ext street. What’s your rst reactio?A. □ Why are these people beig kicked out of their home.

B. □ Surely there’s somethig that ca be doe.

C. □ It’s their ow fault. They kew the risks whe they bought the houseD. □ I might pop alog to watch. As log as it’s ot affectig me sure it’s the

way of thigs.

Q28. You hear about icreasig oppositio to a ew Property Tax that the govermet is plaig. Do you agree with it?

A. □ Yes, we should’t have to pay a tax o the roof over our heads.B. □ I do’t kow. Why is it eeded i the rst place.C. □ no. These people should be payig their way like the rest of us.

D. □ The erve of these people! If they do’t pay it that meas I’ll probablyhave to pay more o mie. Fuckig tax dodgers!



Q29. You’ve bee payig the mortgage o your house, which you bought before the boom,

for 15 years. Your close fried Joh is i trouble with his boom-time 3-bed familyhome ad steadily goig uder. But there’s some rumoured talk of ‘debt forgiveess’.How do you feel about this?A. □ Joh eeds a lifelie ad this might be it.

B. □ I suppose it eeds to be cosidered o a case by case basis.

C. □ I’m still able to pay mie. He should be able to pay too.D. □ That’s ot fair. Why should I cotiue to pay for my mortgage whe he’sgettig a write-dow? It’s ot fair I tell you! I’ve worked log ad hard

ad ow someoe’s gettig a free ride. I’ll ever speak to Joh agai.

Q30. You hear that a govermet miister was greeted by a mass of demostrators duriga visit to a local shoppig mall. The TD was surrouded by Gardaí ad privatesecurity ad some demostrators were physically assaulted. Did they get what they

deserved?A. □ If it was a peaceful demostratio the use of force was ot justied.B. □ I’d have to check ito circumstaces a bit more.C. □ Yes. These neaderthals brig shame o the local commuity.D. □ Dam right! It’s bad eough the govermet havig to deal with tough

ecoomic circumstaces without havig to fed off people who shouldhave bee more careful durig the boom.

Q31. You’ve bee told by your boss that you will have to take a 30% pay cut ad give

back the compay car or be made redudat. This will impact o your etire life adwill see you ruig ito trouble acially very quickly. Give your aswers to

date, would you like to take the test agai?A. □ no I’m happy eough.B. □ I’ll have to check over them.

C. □ I’ll get by.D. □ I’m right, you’re wrog. Time will prove me right i the ed.E. □ Yes. Thigs have obviously chaged. Maybe I was a bit harsh.

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Go To The nexT paGe To see youR GRades



HOW DID YOU DO?

If you nsw mosty a:You’re obviously doig the wrog exam. You have far too much compassio withi you ad are aware

of larger issues, eve if they do’t affect you persoally or directly. You would jump at the chace tohelp someoe out for o reward, purely because it’s the right thig to do. You would go out of your

way to right ay wrogs eve if it impacted o you. You are aware of the bigger picture ad ot justyour ow little piece of turf. As such, you have failed this test – thakfully.

grade: Ng

If you nsw mosty B:You’re a classic keyboard warrior. You’ll rat ad rave about how bad somethig is but will do othig

that ivolves takig ay actual physical actio. You’re cotet to sit behid your moitor ad agreewith whatever is the curret moa but you’ll be abset or suspiciously busy whe called upo to act oit. You’ll always have some of the iformatio but ever eough to actually do aythig. You hit ‘Like’

buttos a lot ad that’s about it.

grade: e

If you nsw mosty c:You still see thigs with rose-tited glasses. You believe completely that thigs will go o without

havig ay affect o your ow situatio. You’re a model of self-deial ad delusio. As far as you’recocered, everyoe wet mad durig the boom so it’s their ow fault what happes to them. This isreiforced by you believig ay soud-byte which slams those i trouble as beig the cause of their

ow problems, while you, aturally were prudet with your moey ad should’t be made to pay for everyoe else’s mistakes. But you missed out o top marks because deep dow, you wat to believethat thigs are still goig to get better ad there’s still a spark of dececy i you. not good eough!

grade: B

If you nsw mosty d:Well doe. You’re a model of selshess ad a e example of Irish begrudgery. You’ll jealously guardyour patch ad vilify ayoe who dares try ad go agaist the status quo. You’ll troll websites, lauch

persoal attacks, assassiate characters ad spam ad disrupt to keep thigs as they are ad you’re otaverse to shillig for political parties o social media sites. Aythig to keep thigs as they are withiyour little bubble. You worked hard to get what you have ad you would’t wat aythig chagig- eve if it meas a chage for all of us. You have a seriously bad case of Stockholm Sydrome for

the curret system. Eve whe truth is starig you i the face you poit blak refuse to see it. But youmissed out o the top grade because you did’t aswer with ALL D’s. nevermid.

grade: B+

If you nsw all d:Cogratulatios. You have show yourself to be beyod all level of huma compassio ad dececy.Your disdai ad cotempt for those worse off tha you is destied to become leged. You are ow

qualied to become a TD, baker, debt collector, solicitor or maistream media preseter. Your detachmet from reality is complete. You’ll do very well. Take a bow, you’ve eared it.

grade: a+

If you nsw e to Q31:You’ve suddely discovered that your situatio is ot as secure as you thought. Maybe ow you might

have to look at thigs from the other side... maybe.

Irish I'm Alright Jack Official Exam

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