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Interpersonal RelationshipsInterpersonal RelationshipsIncreasing Interpersonal Success ThroughIncreasing Interpersonal Success Through
Self-AwarenessSelf-Awareness
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NO INFLUENCE
INFLUENCE
CONTROL
Controlling those things we can control
Circle of Influence
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Workshop Contracting
+100Role-plays / Activities
+100Fair Play
-10Below the Belt Remarks+25Value Addition (SharingRelevant Experience or anInsight)
Depends on theSeverit
y
HTTT (Hostility Towardsthe Trainer)
+50Team Presentations
-10Mobile Ringing+10A Good Joke
-10Late Coming for AnySession - For TeamLeader Per Minute
+10Correct Answer
-5Late Coming for AnySession - Per TeamMember Per Minute
+10A Good & Relevant Question
PointsNorm For LosingPoints
Points
Norm For EarningPoints
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Overview
Understand of the nature of relationships.
Understand how strong interpersonal skills willmagnify your personal power
Explore your interpersonal behaviors
Analyze various communication styles andrecognizing your own
Provide strategies for effectively interactingwith communication styles different from yours
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Overview
Build skills in conflict prevention andmanagement
Consider behavioural standards that guide
relationships
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Ms. Desai Ms. Patel and Ms. Desai are Science teachers
in a High School. Ms. Patel would leave most ofthe departmental duties for Ms Desai to
perform. Ms. Patel usually criticize herteaching style and her ideas in thedepartmental meetings.
Ms. Desai & Ms. Patel have been in charge ofthe entry for the National Science Fair for the
past 3 years. Ms Desai receives no help fromMs. Patel and very limited help from the otherscience teachers.
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Ms. Desai When the school won the award last year for
most outstanding amateur alternative heatingsource, Ms. Patel, took all the accolades
without acknowledging Ms Desai hard work. Ms. Patel is now head of the Science
Department and she is now even more criticaland insulting.
Ms Desai felt slighted as she is the one who
has done most of the work in the Departmentfor the past 5 years. Ms Desai should
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Dealing with interpersonal relationships is acomplex subject
The interpersonal relationships betweenstudents and teachers, teachers and otherteachers, teachers and administrators, schoolstaff personnel, parents, and communitymembers are vital for creating a positivesuccessful learning environment for allstudents.
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No matter how hard you work or how
many brilliant ideas you may have, ifyou cant connect with the people whowork around you, your professional lifewill suffer.
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Team work iscrucial!
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TEAM Research indicates skills essential for
effective teamwork are:
communicating and relating effectively, empathy and respect for the feelings &
views of others, accurate self-evaluation of performance
& relationships. conflict management using active
listening skills and empathy.
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What is Interpersonal
Relationship (IR)?
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Interpersonal
Relationships
social associations
connections
affiliations
between two or more people
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Interpersonal Relationships vary indiffering levels of intimacy and
sharing, implying the discovery orestablishment of common ground,and may be centered around
something(s) shared in common.
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We define types of interpersonalrelationships in terms of relational
contexts of interaction and thetypes of expectations thatcommunicators have of one
another to participate in positive,caring, and respectfulrelationships.
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Six success elements in
Relationships It takes a combination of
2. Self-awareness,
3. Self confidence,
4. Positive personal impact,
5. Outstanding performance,
6. Communication skills and7. Interpersonal competence
to succeed in your career and life.
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Self-awareness Becoming self-aware is the first step to
improving our interpersonal effectiveness. Most of our behaviours are natural for us. We aren't aware of the impact these
behaviours have on others. That leaves us with"blind spots" that others don't want tomention to us because they don't want to hurt
our feelings, they are afraid of a reaction fromus, or they just don't care. Through self-awareness we learn what impact
our behaviours - both positive and negative -have on others. That knowledge helps us
become more effective in our interactions withothers.
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Once we become self-aware we canexamine and change behaviours thatneed changing. The option is our own.So are the consequences. When wechoose to seek ways to modify ourundesirable behaviours we begin theprocess of self-regulation. This is a
conscious process through which wemay ask for input from our family,trusted coworkers or friends, or aprofessional therapist.
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Self-Confidence
SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Sureness aboutones self-worthand capabilities
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Positive Personal Impact Do you know how other peoples see you?
When you leave a meeting or end aconversation, what impression do you leave
behind? What picture do other people have ofyou? How do you think they perceive you?
We impact on others through our opinions, theamount we contribute, the sound of our voice,the effect of our silence, the expressions we
use. Personal impact is about other things apart
from your looks of course. Improving yourposture, knowing how to shake hands
properly, having good manners, not fidgetingand controlling your nerves in meetings,
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Outstanding performance What ever
you do it to
the best ofyour ability.
DO it withthy MIGHT!(MICOs
Motto)
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Communication skills Interpersonal communication can mean
the ability to relate to people in writtenas well as verbal communication. Thistype of communication can occur inboth a one-on-one and a group setting.
This also means being able to handledifferent people in different situations,
and making people feel at ease.
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Communication skills active listening,
giving and receiving criticism,
dealing with different personalitytypes, and
nonverbal communication.
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3-Factor Model of
interpersonal competence Interpersonally competent people:
2. are self aware. They use this
awareness to better understand othersand to adapt their behaviouraccordingly.
3. build and nurture strong, lasting,mutually beneficial relationships.
4. resolve conflict in a positive manner.(Bilanich)
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What are Interpersonal
Skills? A set of behaviours which allow you to
communicate effectively &
unambiguously in a face-to- face setting
They can also be thought of asbehaviours which assist progresstowards achieving an objective
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Interpersonal relationship skillshelp us to relate in positive ways with
our family members, colleagues andothers.
This may mean being able to make andkeep friendly relationships as well as
being able to end relationshipsconstructively
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Six interpersonal skills There are just six interpersonal skills
which form a process that is applicableto all situations:
2. Analyzing the situation
3. Establishing a realistic objective
4. Selecting appropriate ways of
behaving5. Controlling your behaviour
6. Shaping other people's behaviour
7. Monitoring our own and others'behaviour
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Applicability of
Interpersonal Skills Analyzing the situation helps us to set realistic
objectives
Establishing objectives, in turn, provides thecontext in which to make choices about howbest to behave
By being conscious of our own behaviour in
working towards the achievement of objectiveswe are more likely to influence other peoplesbehaviour
Constant monitoring will provide the feedback
we need to make situation-dependentad ustments
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Good interpersonal skills
Interpersonal competence
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Five dimensions of
interpersonal competence 1. Initiating relationships.
2. Self-disclosure.
3. Providing emotional support.4. Asserting displeasure with others'actions.*5. Managing interpersonal conflicts.*
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Barriers to Communication
Physical or environmental barrier
Language barrier
Personal or socio psychologicalbarrier
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Tactful ConversationsT = Think before you speak
A = Apologize quickly when you
blunder
C = Converse, dont compete
T = Time your comments
F = Focus on behavior notpersonality
U = Uncover hidden feelings
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Interpersonal
Communications Most people want to be understood and
accepted more than anything else in theworld.
Knowing this is the first step toward goodcommunication. Good communication has twobasic components:
1. You listen to and acknowledge other people'sthoughts and feelings: Rather than showingthat you only care about broadcasting yourfeelings and insisting that others agree withyou, you encourage others to express whatthey are thinking and feeling. You listen andtry to understand.
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Interpersonal
Communications2. You express your own thoughts and feelings
openly and directly: If you only listen to whatother people are thinking or feeling and youdon't express your own thoughts or feelings,you end up feeling shortchanged or "dumpedon."
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Communication Styles There are four styles of communication:
passive aggressive passive-aggressive assertive
Passive communication involves the inability orunwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passivepeople will do something they don't want to do or makeup an excuse rather than say how they feel.
The aggressive style of communication involves
overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive peopletry to get their way through bullying, intimidating oreven physical violence. They do not or will not considerthe rights of others.
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Passive-aggressive is a combination ofthe first two styles - they avoidconfrontations (passive), but will bemanipulative to get what they want(aggressive). Passive-aggressive peoplewill sometimes use facial expressionsthat don't match how they feel, i.e.
smiling when angry. Assertive behaviour involves standing
up for oneself. Assertive people will saywhat they think and stand up for their
beliefs without hurting others.
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Assertiveness vs
Aggressiveness Assertiveness, or confrontation, means
taking the initiative or first steps to dealwith a problem in a constructive, self-protective manner. Assertivenessattacks the problem, not the person.
Aggressiveness attacks the otherperson rather than the problem. It is adestructive desire to dominate anotherperson or to force a position orviewpoint on another person; it startsfights or quarrels.
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Coping with some
communication differences Aggressive Communicator: Get to the
point right away. Speak directly andclearly. Since aggressive types can bebrutally honest and sometimesinconsiderate, it is important to takewhat they say with a grain of salt.Usually their criticism and
confrontational matter isn't meant to betaken personally.
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Passive-Aggressive Communicator: Justas passive-aggressive communicatorsare a combination of two styles, anapproach to them must be acombination as well. Recognize thattalking to them might be frustrating likewith the passive communicator (since
they avoid conflict), but it also importantto not take anything they say or dopersonally (like with the aggressivetypes), because it may conflict with what
they say.
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Many causes of conflict arise due tomiscommunication.
Once you understand your owncommunication style pitfalls, you cancorrect them and communicate more
effectively.
Remember Aggression breedsAggression!
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What is Conflict? Conflict occurs in situations in which
there is opposition. Opposition occurswhen a solution cannot be found in adisagreement.
Conflict is a disagreement throughwhich the parties involved perceive athreat to their needs, well-being,interests or concerns.
Perceive a threat can be physical,emotional, power, status, intellectual,etc.
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Conflict Resolution Conflict resolution involves identifying
areas of agreement and areas of
compromise so that a solution to thedisagreement or conflict occurs.
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How do Ihandle/prevent/redu
ce conflicts?
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There are five methods to
handle conflict: Running away
Being obliging to the other party
Defeating the other party
Winning a little/ losing a little
Co-operating
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Resolving conflict is an art
of communication
Use interpersonal
communication skills
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Interpersonal Communication
skills I-statements help you express the way you
feel and what you want with great clarity. Sometimes people use "you" statements, such
as "You never collect the registers on time andthen we have to leave school late in theevenings waiting on you!" This type ofstatement can make others feel angry anddefensive immediately. When you use I-statements, such as, "I really need to get the
registers before 1:00pm so that I can completethe attendance sheet so that I can leaveschool at dismissal time." you express your theconcern in terms of you.
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Interpersonal Communication
skills A respectful tone of voice conveys that you
are taking others seriously and that you also
expect to be taken seriously. In addition,people with good communication skills areassertive without being aggressive ormanipulative.
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Interpersonal Communication
skills Eye contact is vital for good communication.
For example, how would you feel if the personyou were talking to kept looking around thecorridor or out the window?
Appropriate body language encouragesconversation. Nodding your head, smiling,laughing, using words such as "uh-huh" and"yeah" and asking questions at appropriatetimes assure the person that you are reallylistening.
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Interpersonal Communication
skills Clear, organized ideas help you accurately
and honestly describe your feelings andcontribute to conversations and to decisionsthat need to be made. Good communicatorsare also specific. For example, a goodcommunicator would say, "I need to use thecomputer from 7-9," as opposed to "I'll needthe computer today."
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Tips for resolving conflicts Make sure that you remain calm at all times. Speak with a non-provoking tone of voice;
quietly, slowly, and calmly. Listen to the other person carefully without
interrupting them. Respect the other person when voicing your
own opinion or point of view.
Let the other person know that you understandthem fully by asking questions pertaining tohis or her understanding and repeating whatthe person is saying.
Use humour if possible.
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Tips for resolving conflicts Try placing yourself in the other person's shoes. Try not to be judgmental. Do not do anything to
embarrass the other person. Do not accuse theother person of anything. Also, do not punish or
scold them. Do not stand close to them. Stand a few feet away
from them. Make sure that your posture, body language, and
tone of voice is non-threatening. Do not talk with the other person in front of a
group of people. Go into an office or some otherplace to discuss the situation. (Caution: Do not gointo place that will prevent you from receiving helpif you need it.)
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Tips for resolving conflicts Make sure that what you say is simple, clear &
direct.
Do not take anything the other person sayspersonally when he or she is angry, becausethey probably do not mean it.
Make sure that you are not alone just in case
the other person becomes very hostile.
If you are having a heated argument withanother person, save your feelings andopinions for another time and place.
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Remember Ms Desai!
She should use interpersonal
communications skills and show herinterpersonal competence!
Ms. Patel should receive interpersonalrelationship building skills!
A Matter of Attitude
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A Matter of Attitude
Confidence
Confidence
Go For It Lets Both Win
Run Away Yes Boss
Lets Trade
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Building Relationship
Become genuinely interested in otherpeople
Call people by their namesTalk in terms of the other persons
interest
Smile Listen
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You Should
Become aware of yourcommunication style
Improve your Interpersonalcompetence
Reduced conflict in the workplace
Increase productivity!
Thank-You!