Interpersonal ConflictWimot & Hocker

Chapter overview

Why study conflict?

Definition of conflict

Scares resources

Personal history

Three categorize of family conflict behaviors

The Lens model

Why study conflict?

“The study of conflict is a basic human requirement and the practice of constructive conflict is an essential set of interpersonal skills.”

Conflict can help maintain and understand one’s own interpersonal relationships

Conflict defined

Conflict is an expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties.

Conflict has perceived incongruent goals

Conflict can be a struggle for scares resources

In conflict, individuals perceive other as a road bock to attain their own goals.

Examples of scares recourses

Money

Time

Affection

Attention

Personal History

"History never repeats itself ,as most people fear. People usually repeat history.“ – Divine Chikobvu

How a person deals with history can be tied to their own families history with conflict

The three categorize of family origin

Avoidant families

Collaborative families

Aggressive families

Rules of an Avoidant family

Family doesn’t recognize conflict

Walks away when conflict arises

Doesn’t allow expressions of strong feelings

Doesn’t acknowledge struggle

Rules of Collaborative families

Have family meetings or meal time discussions

Say openly what they are feeling

Parents help resolve children’s conflicts

Strong feelings are normal and allowed

Rules of Aggressive Families

Survival of the fittest describes the general climate

Be brutally honest regardless of impact

People who don’t engage are weak

Have an audience present when you engage someone

The Lens Model of conflict

Conflict can be viewed like lenses through glasses.

The fundamental aspects in the lens model are 1) communication behaviors 2) the perceptions of those behaviors

Individuals may have different perspectives of the same behaviors. Each person may have a different view of…

Oneself

The other person

The relationship

Two people in conflict can have different

perspectives on the same conflict

Notice how the two characters perceive the odds differently

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX5jNnDMfxA

Bibliography

Hocker, Joyce. Wilmot, William. “ Interpersonal Conflict”. McGrawHill. Boston. 2007.