Interesting Quotes

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Interesting quotes while waiting for a presentation to start.

Transcript of Interesting Quotes

HTE Corporate

DCI, Inc.

Im thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four year old level. Dana Carvey

DCI, Inc.

My Grandma started walking five miles a day when she was seventy. Shes eighty-seven now and we dont know where the hell she is. Dennis Miller

DCI, Inc.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even GOD can hit a 1-iron. Lee Trevino

DCI, Inc.

Ill Moider Da BumResponse from Rocky Marciano when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

DCI, Inc.

Guys who think too much about the future end up layin on the canvas sayin Where am I? George Foreman

DCI, Inc.

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and then six months later you have to start all over again. Joan Rivers

DCI, Inc.

I was raised in such a small town, the zip code there was E-I-E-I-O. Will Rogers

DCI, Inc.

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. Steven Wright

DCI, Inc.

Some mornings it just doesnt seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. Jim Belushi

DCI, Inc.

Always look out for Number One and be careful not to step in Number Two. Rodney Dangerfield

DCI, Inc.

We had a quicksand box in our back yard. I was an only child,eventually. Steven Wright

DCI, Inc.

My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a bouquet of elbows. Phyllis Diller

DCI, Inc.

Being a friend to somebody youd rather be in love with, is like being invited behind the barn to look at the stars, and just lookin at the stars Will Rogers

DCI, Inc.

When Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner, then Ill clean the house. Roseanne Barr

DCI, Inc.

Im not a vegetarian because I love animals; Im a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

DCI, Inc.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. Henny Youngman

DCI, Inc.

My wifes so blond that when I locked my keys in the car, I had to break the windshield to get her out. Red Skelton

DCI, Inc.

Whenever my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice,safe playpen. When theyre finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck

DCI, Inc.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. Steven Wright

DCI, Inc.

Physics lesson: When the body is submerged in water, the phone rings. Conan OBrien

DCI, Inc.

I dont go by the book. Ive never seen the book. I dont know who wrote it. Until I get my hands on it, Ill keep on using my common sense Bum Phillips

DCI, Inc.

If you shoot at mimes, do you need a silencer? Steven Wright

DCI, Inc.

You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while youre down there. George Burns

DCI, Inc.

Ive never met a slender, pretty girl that I didnt want to punch. Rosie ODonnell

DCI, Inc.

It is better to be a widows second husband than her first. Larry King

DCI, Inc.

Marriage is like a fiddle: the strings are there whether the musics playin or not. Roy Clark

DCI, Inc.

Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other. Joe Garagiola

DCI, Inc.

Some guy hit my fender, and I said to him, Be fruitful and multiply, but not in those words. Woody Allen

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