Inside Outreach is a newsletter from the Outreach Services of the North Country Library System, 22072 County Route 190, Watertown, New York 13601

Telephone: (315) 782-5540, ext. 235: email: nclsotr@ncls.org Kathy Van Ness, Newsletter Editor

September &

October 2013

LARGE PRINT FICTION Midnight at Marble Arch by Anne Perry F A Texans Choice by Shelley Gray F Ophelia Cut by John Lescourt M Sand Castle Bay by Sherryl Woods F Guardian by Beverly Lewis F Daddy’s Gone Hunting by Mary Higgins Clark M Mystery Woman by Amanda Quick M Blossom Sisters by Fern Michael F Mortal Stakes by Robert Parker M Wind Chime Point by Sherryl Woods F The Hit by David Baldacci M Goodbye to Yesterday by Wanda Brunstetter F Eyes of Texas by William Johnstone W 12th of Never by James Patterson M Amish Christmas by Beth Wiseman F Zero Hour by Clive Cussler M Pirate Alley by Stephen Coonts M Newcomer by Robyn Carr F Letters by Suzanne Woods Fisher F

DVD Monster’s Ball Unthinkable Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Demolition Man The Grudge Under the Mountain Colditz The Event—Complete Series Aspen—Complete Miniseries

What’s New?

AUDIO BOOKS ON CD Gone Fishing by James Patterson M Into the Storm by Suzanne Brockmann M Heart of Texas by Debbie Macomber F Here Comes Trouble by Debbie Macomber F Montana by Debbie Macomber F Starting Now by Debbie Macomber F Daddy’s Gone a Hunting by Mary Higgins Clark M Wedding Night by Shophie Kinsella R A Step of Faith by Richard Paul Evans R Apple Orchard by Susan Wiggs F 12th of Never by James Patterson M Mystery Woman by Amanda Quick M The Hit by David Baldacci M Unintended Consequences by Stuart Woods M Blossom Sisters by Fern Michaels F Best Kept Secret by Jeffrey Archer M Wicked Game by Lisa Jackson M Whiskey Beach by Nora Roberts F 9th Girl by Tami Hoag M Kill Room by Jeffery Deaver M Zero Hour by Clive Cussler M Nightmare Thief by Meg Gardiner M Tell Me by Lisa Jackson M The Heist by Janet Evanovich M Two of a Kind Susan Mallery R Gotcha by Fern Michaels M First Blood by David Morrell F Risk Agent by Ridley Pearson M

Inside Outreach

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and

rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to in-vestigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. 'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!' The old man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me.' The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.. Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all.. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.... They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the

bike passed him.

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OUTREACH SERVICES

NORTH COUNTRY LIBRARY SYSTEM

22072 COUNTY ROUTE 190

WATERTOWN, NY 13601

FREE

MATTER

FOR

THE BLIND

Joke Corner A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR …

A pirate walked into a bar, and the Bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The Bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook

but I'm fine, really." "What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds

flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye." "You're kidding," said the publican.

"You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit." "It was my first day with the hook."

Never Underestimate Your Mother Brian invited his mom over for dinner. During the course of the meal Brian’s mom

couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his roommate was. Brian’s Mom had long

been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and his roommate, and the fact that

she was so beautiful only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening

while watching the two interact, Brians mom stated to wonder if there was more be-

tween them than just roommates. Reading his mothers thoughts Brian volunteered,

“I know what you must think, but I assure you we are just roommates”. About a

week later Brians roommate came to him and said

‘ever since your mom came to dinner I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver

gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you? Brian said, well I doubt it, but

I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he wrote Dear Mother, I’m not saying that

you did take the gravy ladle from my house, I’m not saying that you did not take the

gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here

for dinner. Love Brian . Several days later Brian received a letter from his mom that

read: Dear son, I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not

saying that you do not sleep with her but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in

her own bed she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love mom

LESSON OF THE DAY ….NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

North Country Library System

Outreach Services

22072 County Route 190

Watertown New York 13601

FREE

MATTER

FOR THE

BLIND

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