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Inner Space:

The Last Frontier

A Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

For

Christian Counselors and Clergy

By

Dr. J. T. Twerell


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Inner Space

Living Word Publications, Inc

7 Dey StreetSuite 207New York, NY 10007

Inner Space

Published by arrangement with James Terry Twerell

Copyright 2010 Living Word PublicationsAll rights reserved

Visit www.JTTWERELL.com for more information

All references to Dr. Albert Ellis andREBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) arefootnoted, however, after many yearsof working with REBT, some reference may have beenoverlooked. If there are any questions about REBT,

the Albert Ellis Institute has all the informationneeded. They are at 45 E. 65th street in NY, NY 10065.Their Website is http://www.rebtinstitute.org.
http://www.jttwerell.com/http://www.jttwerell.com/


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Table of Contents

Chapter Page

1 Inner Space 5

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 8And Pastoral Counseling

3. Interventions in PastoralCounseling 24

4. Spiritual Interventions 32

5. Spiritual Goal Setting 44

6. Case Studies 51

7. Table I, Scriptural Intervention 60

8. Certification Form 63


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Chapter 1Inner Space the Last Frontier

Jesus said to them, Truly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of

his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever

reason he does, that the Son does Likewise. For the Father loves the

Son, and shows him all that He himself is doing; and greater works than

these will he show him, that you may marvel (John 5:16-20)

The human mind is a complex machine that has potential for greatpleasure and great harm. Our daily journey through life receivesguidance in the thoughts and visions in our mind. The mind evaluates,judges, sorts, calls for reaction and action, and generally runs theproduction we call living. Unfortunately, all this control generallytakes place in an unconscious format in which we simply follow thethoughts and direction of our mind, without debate or second opinion.Our prejudices dictate our state of mind, and we are not even aware thatwe have these prejudices. Our angers push people and events around inorder to obtain what we want, and we are generally not even aware of

what we want in the first place. What is it that seems to orchestrateour lives even beyond our conscious thoughts? It is an addiction tothinking.

We receive instructions that the human species is able to think andrationalize and therefore is set apart from the animals and other lowerlife forms. Why then is such a gift of thinking and rational process sooften a curse to our species? The philosopher Descartes proclaims, Ithink therefore I am, and describes a path that most of our societyclings to in an often-destructive manner. It is destructive because,for the most part, humans process thought through limited understanding

and thus become what they think----limited. This leads to false identitywith who we are and what our purpose and goals are. Jesus, in the abovepassage, dramatically pulls away from the natural process of thinkingand provides insight to a new and deeper way of approaching life. Theson can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father

doing.Jesus capacity to find direction for his daily journey came notfrom his own thoughts but from a vision of what the father was doing.What was this vision and how did he obtain it in such a direct and


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profound fashion? Was this simply a statement of his ability, or was it,like so much of his teaching, an insight into the new reality that wasavailable to all mankind? The answers to these questions are really keysto unlocking the fullness of mans spiritual dimension that has beendormant in the human makeup.

As human beings, we receive literally thousands of stimuli thatcause us to focus on exterior reality. We evaluate and process theseimpacts using certain internal value systems that define what is safe orunsafe for our survival. These evaluations can be as simple as whatflavor of ice cream to choose or complex as seeking a mate. To processall of the data we find around us, we think and ponder the pro's andcon's of each item and either draw conclusion or retreat into someemotional base that forces us away from dealing with the situation athand. Daily, we find anxiety, depression, fear, and other pains creepinto our lives, as we are unable to process the data successfully.However, Jesus said he made his decisions not on what he perceivedaround him, but on what he saw the Father doing. Therefore, hisevaluation system was not dependent on what was around him, but on whatwas deeper within.

The difference between our evaluation system and the one Jesusdescribes lies in the place we call the ego. From birth, we receivepersonal and cultural conditioning forming mental images of who we are.This data processing in the mind forms an understanding called our ego,or false self, for it is not who we really were; it is the result of theprocess of this environmental formulation. When we think, we processeverything through this image and draw conclusion through this

conditioning. A child raised in an abusive home will have a muchdifferent view of his/her self-worth and the safety of the world aroundhim/her than the child raised in a safe nurturing environment. As anadult, each of these individuals reacts out of their own understandingof the world rather than on the actual incident they face. This is egobased understanding and, as Dr Wayne Dyer states, EGO is short forEdging God Out.1When we view life through Gods perspective we see anentirely different journey than the one defined by ego.

For example, Howard Young, in his book Rational Counseling Primer2tells of two small children playing on a beach. A large wave washes over

both children. One child runs screaming to his mother, panic stricken bythe terrible thing that just happened. The other child sits on thebeach, laughs at the joy of the wave, and waits for another to wash overhim again. Here we find the same wave, but two different evaluations.The ego evaluations of each child were unique to their perceptions ofthe reality around them, based on training and molding of theenvironment of their lives. Neither was right nor wrong, just trained toperceive differently. Each child thought about the event and processed


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it into their response, building even more data for future evaluation.It was not the event that caused their emotional response, but what theybelieved about the event. I think that is _____________,is a blankfilled by our personal evaluation. But what if we could retrain thethinking and come to a place of true evaluation, not based upon our

conditioning, but upon insight from a greater source of truth? What ifwe stop thinking out of our own bias and step into a place that gives usclear vision of reality? Possibly, at that moment we would understandthe reality and power of what Jesus was saying. The son can do nothingof his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing.At thatmoment, in the freedom of true enlightenment, we would enter into ourInner Image.

Meditation

Make a list of matters that bring you strong positive annegative emotions. These can be people, places, things, or eventsthat your emotions define. Ask yourself how you came to have suchstrong emotion about these areas.

Sit quietly and listen to your mind as it thinks thingsthrough. Don't stop thinking; just listen to your thoughts as anoutside observer.

Focus on quieting your thoughts by picking one thought or oneoutside object to intensely view. Take time to feel all that your

body is experiencing by the world around you (try to use all fivesenses).

Be aware of the thoughts that bring negative feelings to youand change them into a positive framework.


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Chapter 2

The thinking process is such an enmeshed part of our makeup that,in the early stages of exploration, it seems like an impossible barrierto bypass. The journey into our true self becomes frustrating because ofthe constant interruption of the ego and its suggestions to pay moreattention to the things around us and stop this non-thinking (i.e.non-ego) process immediately. The ego is usually successful in its goal,and we stop trying to move deeper by simply submitting to ourfrustrations and focusing on the things around us rather than goingdeeper. However, once we are aware of the inner self, and have some ideaof the world of hope that it provides, we may become equally frustratedby not going deeper and are lost in the conundrum of searching but notfinding.

The ego driven mind will not co-operate, so it is our duty to trulylisten to our thoughts and bring them into a place of obedience to ourconscious evaluation rather than letting them rule us unconsciously. Theunconscious evaluation of our environment and the resulting action andthought we take is called our schema. Currently accepted definition ofschema is the interconnection of perceptions, thinking, emotions, andbehavior. The schema is the main tool the false self, or ego, uses inunconsciously running our lives. It perceives data provided by sensestimulus to our brain and then thinks according to its survival

training. In order to accomplish its objectives, the ego producesunconscious emotions and behaviors which become how we think and act inevery situation. Therefore, if we are angry, jealous, depressed, etc.,it is not the things around us that cause our emotions, rather it is thebelief we have about these things. To change our emotions, we need tochange our belief. This is the process of bringing the unconsciousthinking and evaluation process of the ego into a conscious thinking andevaluation process of the true self. But what is the true self? If ourevaluation of life develops out of the perceptions we accumulate overthe years, what exists before we embark on this data accumulation. Somepsychological teaching declares we are but tabula rasa or blank

slate at birth, waiting for the experiences of life to write who weare. Nevertheless, all spiritual concepts declare life is not a blankslate; rather it is a part of a continuing evolution in a plan designedby a greater force. In the major religions of our current times, we aredefined as a soul. This entity is eternal and free from the confines ofshort-term human life. In a Judeo/Christian understanding, the soul isknown by God long before it enters human limitation. In the book ofJeremiah, God tells Jeremiah that He knew him before Jeremiah was in his


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mothers womb. The essence of modern religion is the state of thiseternal soul in relationship to God. Jesus came to save the soul frometernal state of being lost. The Hebrew people were given strict laws toassist them in keeping their soul pure before God. The Muslimsunderstand the discipline of the body is to free the soul for Gods

purpose. Buddhist seeks a journey into true understanding which freesthem from human limitation and allows them to enter into the depth ofthe soul. The common thread to all these fragments is the reality that,in the final analysis, we are not just humans, limited by life anddeath. Rather we are souls with an unlimited capacity for understandingand growth.

The ability to grasp our eternal status is the beginning ofemotional understanding. We are not limited by our ego, which is boundedby the elements of life. We are unlimited souls, following a plan thatis greater than any three dimensional problem we may encounter. It is inthis place we begin to see the reality of the teaching of Jesus stating,I can do nothing unless I see the father do it first. Jesus knewintimately the divine position of who he was. He came to humanitydeclaring that the things he knew and accomplished, they could do also.In the final analysis, we can either listen to the false self of theego, which will run our lives limiting our choices to the data itaccumulates in this earth journey, or we can operate our life relying onthe true self of the soul. The journey of the soul is unlimited in itscreative capacity, free to live with unconditional love, and unconcernedabout the limitation of earthly life. It is really our choice. Weeither define our own schema as an eternal soul, or allow the forcesaround us to determine it for us.

This process of conscious realistic evaluation, necessary to changeour schema, was greatly enhanced through an understanding of thepsychological concept called Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy. In the lastfifty years, research provided evidence that this type of active therapyproduced very positive results for those dealing with emotionalproblems. One of the main types of Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy isRational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), which evolved mainly throughthe writings of Dr. Albert Ellis. The theory states that humans are bornwith strong biological predispositions, among which are the sex/loverelationships and the early need to live in some kind of family group.3

To meet these desires and goals successfully, Ellis believed that humansattempted to negotiate relationships with the use of their potentialself-determination4. His main philosophy was in agreement with Epictetus,the Roman stoic philosopher who, in the first century AD, wrote thatHumans are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them.5Human development follows our strong tendency to evaluate theenvironment with views that things are either harmful/disturbing orsafe/undisturbing. This process of evaluation is usually a reflection of


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individual preference or wishes, which are generally a product ofrational/functional beliefs. For example, we may prefer a sunny day, butif it rains, that is disappointing but we will make the best of it. Thispreferential thinking about the rain provides freedom to make new anddifferent choices. However, the evaluation may reflect absolute demands

that are a product of irrational/goal-blocking beliefs. In this processwe make strong demands that it should not rain today. The demand implieswe have control over rain, which we obviously do not, and leaves uscaught in a cycle that produces unhealthy emotions of anger, depression,etc. It isnt the rain that causes our negative reactions; it is ourbelief about the rain. By successfully confronting the thinking processwe have the ability to better cope and not become unduly disturbed.According to Ellis, the main goal of REBT is to help people live longer,minimize their emotional disturbances and self-defeating behaviors, andactualize themselves so that they live a more fulfilling happierexistence.6 The therapy process used to obtain these goals is acombination of (1) helping the client set up or choose for themselvescertain (presumably) happiness-producing values, purposes, goals, orideals; and (2) use efficient, flexible, scientific, logic-empiricalways of (presumably) achieving these values and goals and of avoidingcontradictory or self-defeating results.

The process of becoming more aware of our ego produced thinkingcalls us to adopt a conscious evaluation system that evaluates ourthinking to determine if it is based on reality or upon unconsciousprejudice. This unconscious prejudice is the result of our lifeexperience as found in the lower brain functions. It bases itsevaluation not on current conscious awareness, but on results of our

early programming in our youth. If we determine, early in our awareness,that dogs are not to be trusted, then we evaluate dogs as untrustworthyfor the remainder of our life. The only procedure to change thisevaluation is our conscious participation into the thinking process andforcefully interjecting more healthy data. An interjection may be thatwhile some dogs are untrustworthy, not all dogs are, and we need toevaluate each one on its own merit. Through this process we lower ouremotional response to a dog from one of anxiety and fear to one ofcaution yet openness. As this emotion changes, so changes our behavioralresponse to dogs. Spiritual understanding adapts to this thinking, asthe perception of the true-self, or soul, is not encumbered by our early

human programming, rather it is unbounded by infinite understanding ofthe eternal journey. The Apostle Paul, in his Philippians lettersstates, Whatever place I find myself in, there I am content.7 Wherewas Paul when he wrote this understanding? He was in the bottom of aprison, forsaken by all who could extend help to his predicament.Obviously, his limited ego understanding would be open to bitterness andanger. However, he also states in another letter to Corinthians8 that hehad been on a journey to the third heaven, weather in the body or out of


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the body, he wasnt sure. Paul could overstep the limitation of his egoby stepping into the unlimited space of his soul. What Paul found in thejourney to the third heaven was the strength to see life without egounderstanding. He was able to see what the Father was doing, and thenfollowed suit. Restructuring our understanding of life is the purpose of

the spiritual journey, and it begins by taking every thought the egobrings forth under control of the soul.

While most schools of psychological therapy aim for the client'sself-acceptance, they usually end with only a conditional self-acceptance that is based upon the clients ability to accomplish, cope,or overcome certain problems. The person is well as long as theseaccomplishments are active in their life, but if they are failing, thenthey are left with a sense of non-acceptance or non-accomplishment. Theevaluation of who they are or what they are is based on acceptance oraccomplishment. This conditional self-acceptance leaves the client withthe "irrational" belief that it is not only preferable that othersapprove of her actions, but that she absolutely needs this approval andacceptance if she is to accept herself. A stronger approach to healingis one in which individuals can fully, unconditionally accept their selfwhether or not others approve of them and whether or not they performwell in life. The inner journey takes us to this place of unconditionalacceptance. In the soul, or true self, is an awareness of the depth ofGods love and acceptance of us as individuals. In the soul, we have aconnection with our eternal identity that provides us with a place ofattachment which is larger than our limited personal existence.Therefore, if we are able to truly view our thoughts and evaluate themfrom this deeper perspective, we will accomplish the reduction of the

thinking process and increase our connection to our true self in thesoul. Paul teaches in 2 Corinthians 5, Take every thought captive andcome against the vain and lofty imaginations that are contrary to theWord of God. The short sighted thinking of our ego is really a place ofloftiness. The ego assumes a god like position of organizing and beingthe center of all our life. In reality, only the inner place of God cantruly control our life, for it is the place of all truth and all wisdom.The grace and mercy of God forms the pattern of self-acceptance that iscompatible with Ellis basic theory. The foundation of REBT is chartedin Figure 2.1.

The theory behind REBT assents that whenever the individual upsetsherself (C), it is not (as she usually thinks is the case) because of

A

Activating

Event

B

Beliefsystem

CConsequence

(Emotional &

Behavioral)


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what is happening to her at point (A). Rather, it is because of herirrational and invalid suppositions at point (B). The belief system in(B) is actually a complex interaction of irrational beliefs (iB) andrational beliefs (rB) (Figure 2.2)

Using Figure 2.2, the individual states that his associate saidthey didn't like him (A). His rational belief (rB) is usually, "I don'tlike being rejected because it has real disadvantages. I wish instead,that I were being accepted. But because I am being rejected, that isunfortunate, unbeneficial, and frustrating."

The irrational belief (iB) may be, "I can't stand being rejected!It is awful, horrible, and catastrophic for me not to be accepted! Ishould have been approved rather than rejected, and the fact that I wasnot proves (a) that I am a worthless individual and/or (b) that mydetractor is a rotten no good person." The process of this (iB) providesa (C) of anger\anxiety.

If an irrational belief is activated (iB), then the behavior(C) may be anxiety, depression, shame, or hostility. If any rationalbelief is activated (rB), then the outlook is that the rejection is

inconvenient, but not the end of the world. One rejection does not meanthat all people reject us or that even the person rejecting us is aterrible person. It is just a circumstance to be dealt withconstructively.

If a person continues to cling to an irrational belief (iB),then, to be maximally helpful, the pastoral counselor introduces a pointof disputing (D) the irrational belief (iB) in point (B).(Fig. 2.3)

A

Activating

Event

C

Consequence

(Emotional &

Behavioral)

iB irrational belief

rB rational belief


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A. (activatingevent)

B. (belief system)

C. (emotionalconsequence

Figure 2.3 Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy Diagram

iB irrational

rB rational

D. dispute iB

This disputing (D), according to Ellis, preferably ask thefollowing:

1. What irrational belief do I want to dispute and surrender?2. Can I rationally support this belief?3. What evidence exists of the falseness of this belief?

4. Does any evidence exist of the truth of this belief?5. What worst things could actually happen to me if I don'tget (or do get) what I think I must (or must not).9

In the example we are using, the irrational beliefs, "I should beapproved" or "I am worthless", needs to be examined. Questions like"Why should I always be accepted?" and "where does it state my totalvalue is based on others acceptance of me?" provide a new perspective(E) which leads to a new rational thought (Figure 2.4).


B. (belief system)

C. (emotionalconsequence

Figure 2.4 REBT Diagram

iB irrational

rB rational

D. dispute iB

E. effect of D

The REBT format finally suggests that the client can now create anew behavioral effect (bE) which consists of a radically changed emotionor symptom. The client who constantly and vigorously disputesworthlessness will begin to see the irrational thought pattern and


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develop a new behavior reflecting worth and dignity. (Fig. 2.5)


B. (belief system)

C. (emotionalconsequence)

Figure 2.5 REBT Diagram

iB irrational

rB rational

D. dispute iB

E. effect of D behavior effect

IN REBT, the A,B,C triune is inextricably locked together. Thus, itis necessary to explore each of the sections separately to understandthe whole theory.

The (A), The Activating Event or Adversity: The (A) or (A)s areeither external or internal events to which the individual emotionallyresponds. Such events can refer to past, present or future occurrences,e.g. losing ones job or the prospect of marriage10. It is usually theactivating event that is given to the therapist by the client. Theexpression of My job is hard; My girlfriendleft me; The city isnoisy are all descriptions of events or the environment in a person'slife. These descriptions can become the focus of therapy if the desireis to eliminate the event to bring about a different state of mind. Forexample, a suggestion to find another girlfriend may be a reaction tothe presented (A) of, I lost my girlfriend and I am depressed.However, REBT states that the activating event (A) is usually (but notalways) the factor in stimulating the (B) or belief system. In turn,this (B) is then the contributing factor in the stimulation of the (C)

or emotional/behavioral consequences. Thus, if the (A) is changed, theemotional state may temporally change, but it will most likely returnwhen another similar (A) takes place. If we simply go find anothergirlfriend, then the depression may lift. However, if she leaves theperson, then the depression may very likely return because the basicbelief that was stimulated by the activating event has not changed.Therefore, in REBT, we define the (A) as part of the problem, but it isonly one leg of the three-part diagnosis.


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The C or Emotional/Behavioral Consequences - are the emotions,behaviors and psychological responses that result largely from ourbeliefs. These emotional results or consequences can be positive (suchas happiness, peace, joy) or negative (anxiety, anger, depression,

disappointment, sad, shame, etc.). In the same manner, the behaviors canalso respond as positive (hugging, giving, and helping) ornegative,(self-harming shouting, throwing, withdrawal).Psychologicalresponses are also seen as adaptive (acceptance, high frustrationtolerance) and non-adaptive (demanding, global evaluation). Severalineffective and goal blocking emotions are guilt, anger, anxiety,depression, poor frustration tolerance, ego pain or hurt, shame, pride,and jealousy. On the other side of the coin are the effective negativefeelings of regret, remorse, apprehension, concern, discomfort andothers. The goal then becomes to change the ineffective goal blockingfeeling to one that is effective and goal enhancing. It is very normal,but not helpful, to react in anger or withdrawal when we are faced withevents that are less than pleasant. Generally, this A-C connection isoften presented by the client and they assume it to be the causal linkin the therapy sessions. For example My girlfriend left me and I amdepressed. This (A) (girlfriend leaving) and (C) (I am depressed) aregenerally united only by belief we hold about the loss of ourgirlfriend. In all reality, some people may find relief or joy if theirgirlfriend left them, so depression is not a universal truth aboutgirlfriends leaving. The goal is to move the feeling of depression intoone of effectiveness such as disappointment. The key point to REBT isthat the (C) is impacted largely by the (B) and not the (A).

The B or Beliefs is our cognitive structure, which is evaluativeat its core. REBT hypothesizes that at the heart of our emotionalreactions lie two types of beliefs: rational and irrational. The formeris seen as flexible, adaptable, logical, realistic, practical, goal-oriented and lead to healthy emotions and behaviors. The latter is seenas inflexible, unadaptiable, illogical, unrealistic, impractical, goalblocking, and leads to unhealthy emotions and behaviors11. The focus ofREBT is on the true cause of most emotional and behavioral consequences.Generally these are found in the evaluative system (B). The example ofI lost my girlfriend and I am depressed is now seen in light of thepossible (B) of I must not lose my girlfriend and if I do it is

terrible. In this, the belief of I must not lose my girlfriend is adogmatic evaluation that causes the emotional of depression ifactivated.

Ellis developed the REBT theory based upon the thought that welargely cause and intensify our anxiety, depression, and anger bybelieving specific irrational beliefs, and repeating particular self-talk statements. These self-talk statements demand that things be


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different. We place these demands on ourselves, on others, or on theworld and conditions under which we live.12 These demands are generallyseen as musts, shoulds, ought's, and have tos, that we place onothers and ourselves. These statements narrow our coping mechanisms andin turn lower our ability to negotiate with problems and stress in our

life. The demand leaves us with only one approach to the problems oflife; go the way I demand or I will react accordingly. This level ofdemand implies we have control over the person or situation before us.Part of our lower brain function is a mechanism that provides immediateresponse to threatening situations. Similar to our response when weplace our hand on a hot object, this automatic evaluation systemresponds without thought. When we imply control with our strong demands(It should not rain) the automatic response evaluates if our demand isbeing met. If it is not, then the response is one of protection from theperceived threat. If we demand it should not rain, and it is raining,the automatic response is we are out of control and are in danger. Theprotection from this evaluation is one of fight/flight. Fight willmanifest in anger, rage, and bitterness while flight will producedepression, anxiety and other unhealthy emotions to protect us from theperceived problem. The obvious problem with this situation is there isno actual threat. Thus, to stay away from these automatic negativereactions, we need to stop making demands over things we have nocontrol. The demands are one form of irrational beliefs in the REBTprocess. In REBT, the explicit and implicit dogmatic demands have,usually, derivatives that are highly unrealistic evaluations attached tothe demands. These derivatives fall into three categories; (1)Awfulizing - "this is totally bad or more than totally bad"; (2) Poorfrustration tolerance - "I can't stand this," and (3) Self and other

downing - "They are terrible for doing this" or " I am a jerk forfeeling this."

The process of examining the belief system is to watch for thedogmatic demands and search further for the derivatives attached tothese demands. For example, if the client states, "they must treat menice," the awfulizing might be "and it is terrible if they don't"; thePoor frustration tolerance might be "I can't stand it if they don't";and self and other downing might state, "They are terrible people ifthey don't" or "I must be a jerk if they don't treat me nice." Thisconnecting of demands and derivatives to unhealthy negative emotions is

called "derivative linking" and is a key to truly understanding thebeliefs of a client. We will review derivative chaining in chapter 4.

D - The Dispute; REBT disputing is designed to confront theirrational belief until the client comes to an effective new philosophy.To accomplish this, the disputing is usually done first, cognitively, byusing scientific and pragmatic questioning, and challenging to uproot anindividuals must and demands. A challenge may be practical, such as


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"does my thinking help me solve my problem and reach my goals?"Demanding that someone treat me nice, when I have no control over howthey treat me, only frustrates and blocks my efforts in moving toward mygoals. Empirical challenges also are introduced, such as "Where is thereevidence in the entire world that proves your thought is true and

valid." Again, the demand that "they must treat me nice," can not beproved. No law or decree enforces such a demand. Logical disputes alsoare used such as, "Does it follow that because they don't treat younice, they are rotten people now and forever?"

Disputes are also done emotively using rational emotive imagery(REI). The client is asked to imagine their worst fear or failures andtruly feel the pain of it. They are then instructed to work forcefullyto change their unhealthy feeling of depression or fear to a healthyfeeling of concern or sadness. This is examined in chapter 4.

Finally, disputing is also done behaviorally. The clientsaggressively force themselves to meet the source of their irrationalityand see that it is not as awful as they imagine. A client who has a fearof social situations is encouraged to be as social as possible to facetheir irrationality head on. From a Christian counseling perspective,the area of Dispute (D) is an opening for scripture, meditation andprayer. These are explored in detail further on in this book.

Understanding the interaction of the A, B, and C is foundational toREBT therapy. Each area, generally, has a direct and/or indirectinfluence on one or both of the other. A person who has a (B) thatsocial interaction must be avoided creates an (A) circumstance to avoid

or evaluate social interaction. In the same manner, this person respondsto a three person social interaction with a more intense (C) than aperson who has a high desire for social interaction. REBT teaches thetherapist to use discretion and not move quickly in determining the A,B, and Cs of the client. In addition, the (D) of dispute is essentialin coming to a rational place of change in the clients therapy. However,one of the elements of REBT that is most reflective of Christianunderstanding is in the focus on the Goal or (G) of the therapy process.In REBT the goals are made explicit and not assumed, and specific ratherthan vague or unrealistic. The treatment goals of REBT focus on theemotional aspect of the problem first before moving on to the practical

aspects of the problem13

.

The disputing (D) of the Irrational belief (B) is also dependent onthe focus of the goal (G). In pastoral counseling, the (G) goal is aplace of centering on God. If (G) reflects anything that is not Godcentered, then the belief system is difficult to define and disputeaccording to a pastoral framework. For example: a client presents a (C)that states they are depressed because of an (A) they are not married.


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If we first determine that the (G) is God centered it aids our searchfor (B). If (G) is to walk in Gods peace and blessing then a (B) of Imust be married or I am nothing is irrational and the (D) is easier toestablish if it leads back to (G). However, if (G) is Marriage equalshappiness then (B) could be I will marry anybody who will have me

which may or may not be rational in secular therapy, but is not rationalin pastoral goal oriented therapy. The process of disputing andestablishing the new rational thought is only Godly if the goal isGodly. A full Diagram of the REBT process with goals is seen in Chart2.7:

Chart 2.7 Full REBT with Goals

Further, the Dispute (D) can also be a product of scripture, prayer,meditation, etc. A Client struggling with anxiety (C) because of workproblems (A) may have a belief that they are incapable of the work (B)or that the work should be easier (B). An effective dispute would be tolook for the scriptures that reflect that they are still valued peopleeven if they cant do the work (i.e., I will never leave you or forsakeyou; Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus) orthat hard work is part of life and they will survive or change jobs(i.e., Therefore I rejoice in my weakness, for in there I find Godsstrength). A prayer reflecting an honest appraisal of the ABC is also

an effective (D). In all things, the examination of the clients (G) as aChristian greatly aids in the (D) process of Does this belief help youin reaching your goals?

Before examining these perspectives in detail, let us examine theimpact of the core of human belief system the schema. As previouslystated, the currently accepted definition of schema is theinterconnection of perceptions, thinking, emotions, and behavior. Modelsof schema are presumed to have value in helping therapists attune

A

B

C

D

E

new

Effect

F

Follow-up

or

homework

G

goals


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interventions to clients idiosyncratic associative perceptual,cognitive, behavioral and symptom networks14. In all therapy, the needfor the therapist to be sensitive to the clients schema is bothessential and ethical. To attack a clients schema because it is foreignor unacceptable to the therapist is an abuse of the American

Psychological Associations ethical code of conduct (1992)

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. Obviously,the need for religious understanding is an essential part of theindividual schema, and a place for sensitivity on the part of the

therapist. Religion, by definition, means a re-joining (religiure orjoining together). As such, it is a place of evaluation in which anindividual assesses his or her environment. According to REBT,evaluative beliefs provide the glue that binds a schemas perceptual,ideational, behavioral, and emotional elements together in a functioningcognitive structure16.

The organization of a clients schema may always have some sense ofgood or bad, acceptable or unacceptable, etc.. This evaluative core isthe focus of REBT therapy as it searches for the absolutisticevaluations that often lead the client to a rigid, non coping approachto life (the iBs or irrational Beliefs).

In developing an understanding of the function of religious beliefin schema, Dr. Steve Johnson has suggested that the individuals systemof beliefs can be best understood in light of metaphysical demands and

moral demands17. The belief systems core of evaluative beliefs produces afixed structure within the individual that reflects certain absolutedemands. A metaphysical demand is one which is unconditional and withoutvariability. An example is The sun must come up in the East. This isan absolute demand based upon a metaphysical reality that does notprovide any space for an alternative. In an individuals core evaluativesystem, many beliefs are assumed to be metaphysical and are often atarget for the REBT practitioner. A person who evaluates happiness in

Evaluative

Beliefs

Perception

Thinking Behavior

Emotions


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life with an absolute demand for perfection has adopted a metaphysicalbelief that a person must be perfect in life. Unfortunately for theclient, this is a false metaphysical demand and is producing a non-coping schema understanding. If we are able to intervene in the clientsthinking to change this absolutistic evaluation, then better coping is

potentially available.

In religious clients, the problem becomes more involved as theclient often clings to his religious beliefs as final and absolutestatements of God. Thus he/she creates a metaphysical demand in a placethat none exists. In actuality, the religious beliefs of clients aregenerally moral beliefs and not metaphysical. Chart 2.1 indicates aquick comparison of metaphysical and moral demands:

The compatibility of REBT in religious intervention rest in thefact that REBT only declares as irrational and problematical theimproper absolute metaphysical demands, not the conditional moralshoulds or ought's. Thus, a client who is in deep depression

because he has tried to be a faithful Christian (whatever that may meanis also subject to further definition) and seems to fail, may have anirrational belief that a person should honor God with all their heart,mind and soul. If they do not, they are terrible, horrible peoplecondemned to Gods wrath. The belief that we should love God with allour hearts, mind, and soul is interpreted by the client as ametaphysical demand that has no flexibility and precludes free will.However, in reality, the command to love the Lord our God with all ourheart, mind and soul is not metaphysical, as it allow us free will notto do that action. It includes an implied If you want to please God,then... As such, this becomes a moral demand and provides all of us the

flexibility to use free will in our decision.

If then, with REBT, we can bring the client to a place ofunderstanding that his/her belief (or core evaluation) is too rigid,then we can begin to lead him/her into a place of greater flexibilityand increased coping. For example:

Metaphysical

Demands

Unconditional Reality Based Preclude Free Will

i.e. the Sun must

rise in the east

tomorrow

Moral Beliefs

Conditional Implied If then Include free will

i.e. Thou shalt not

kill (if thou wants to

please God)


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Irrational Dogmatic Demand= I must love God with all my heart,mind and soulAwfulization= If I dont it will be terrible and awfulPoor frustration Tolerance = I cant stand being so badSelf and other/world downing = I am a no good sinner who God will

destroy, hate, fry in hell, etc.Rational Belief = I would prefer to always love God with my wholeheart, mind and soul, but I dont always do that.New emotion = I am disappointed that I am not always in a lovingplace with God, but I know that He gives me mercy and grace in mytimes of weakness.New Behavior = I will repent for my weakness and go out and sharemy understanding of my merciful and loving God.

0

10

20

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0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

WISH WOULD LIKE MUST SHOULD

The act of moving a clients belief from an absolute demand (core

evaluation of metaphysical demand) to a place of preference (coreevaluation of moral demand) allows slower stress and greater copingability. The client can now process his or her perception, thinking,emotions, and behavior with a non-absolutistic schema.

HEALTHY

EMOTIONS

UNHEALTHY

EMOTIONS


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Review

In order to assist the student in understanding the material in thecourse, each section is followed by a series of review questions. Usethese questions to see how well you have grasped the material.

1. REBT has evolved mainly through the research and writings of__________________.

2. According to Ellis, the main goal of REBT is to help people livelonger, minimize their emotional _______________ and self defeatingbehaviors, and ______________ themselves so they live a more fulfillinglife.

3. The therapy process used to obtain the goal in question #2 is acombination of (1) helping the client set up or choose for themselves

certain (presumably) ______________________________________________, and(2)use efficient, flexible, scientific, and logic-empirical ways of(presumably) achieving these values and goals and of_______________________________________________________________.

4. As a Christian, the REBT emphasis on long term goal attainmentis a compatible base if life fulfillment is truly defined__________________________________________.

5. It is Ellis's belief that individuals can fully,_________________________________ whether or not they are approved byothers.

6. Label the following:

7. In the above, it is generally assumed in REBT that the___________ is not the cause of the disturbance in ____________

8. It is generally assumed in REBT that the _______________ is atthe core of the disturbance in __________________.

9. The Belief system consists of two types of belief,____________________ and __________________________.

10. To challenge the Irrational Beliefs of the individual, REBTuses D or ___________________.

11. The result of the (D) would be to create a new Rational beliefwhich in turn will produce a new (E), which is __________________.

12. The A in REBT are either ___________ or ___________ events towhich the individuals emotionally respond.

A B C


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13. The C in REBT are the emotions and behaviors that result fromour ________________ and __________ ___________

14. Some of the unhealthy, goal-blocking emotions in C are___________________________________________________________________

_____

15. In order to change an irrational belief to a rational belief,the therapist will use disputes. The cognitive disputes willgenerally be practical, _______________- or ____________________.

16. Label each as an A, B or C______ They should appreciate me______ He doesn't talk to me______ He should talk to me______ I am so angry with him______ She screamed______ I am disappointed______ I can't stand it when you cry______ I hate myself______ They are always late______ I should know these answers

17. Place the proper statement in the boxes below; "When peopleignore me I cant stand it. It makes me so angry

A B

C


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Chapter 3

Interventions

Interventions take place in three different approaches duringtherapy. These are Cognitive, Behavioral, and Emotive. The following aresome samples of these three areas..

Cognitive Interventions

Unconditional Acceptance

One of the unique differences between REBT and otherCognitive/Behavioral or Behavioral therapies is the disagreement withpositive self-rating. REBT believes that seeking self confidence orself-esteem leads people to rate themselves on their actions orperformances and not deal with pragmatic realities of failure orfallibility. However, REBT does agree that self-downing is a harmfulevaluation and wants investigation for core irrational beliefs. Ellisstates that although people biologically and socially strongly tend torate themselves as well as their acts and performances, they can learnto omit the first and to stay mainly with the second rating18. In REBTthis process is called Unconditional Self-Acceptance or USA. Contrary to

conditional self-acceptance, which may leave the client in a place ofcondemning themselves when things go wrong, USA encourages them toaccept themselves because they choose to, not because of things thathappen. USA is an elegant solution that produces long term healing andstability. In conjunction with USA, REBT encourages Unconditional OtherAcceptance or UOA. In this approach, the clients teach themselves torefrain from rating others in a global fashion based upon activities.Rather they evaluate the activity separate from the person. With UOA,others who wrong the client are seen as people who have value and worthapart from their actions. However, their actions are not acceptable eventhough the person is acceptable. In therapy, clients are encouraged to

examine their irrational belief system in light of USA/UOA and move to amore preferential belief about themselves and others.

Like most of the foundations of REBT, this UnconditionalAcceptance is easily understood from a Christian perspective. Thefoundation of Jesus teaching is the introduction of a Kingdom in whichthe freeing aspect of Gods love and acceptance are displayed. We aretaught to differentiate between condemnation (that which turns us from


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God) and conviction (that which draws us toward God). The Scriptures inRomans 8 show how nothing separates us from the love of God, and thereis no condemnation to them in Christ Jesus.

As previously stated, the core of Ellis' REBT is that humans are

born with a strong biological desire for sex/love relationship and thedesire to live in some kind of community or family group. To accomplishthis, they negotiate relationships with a strong sense of self-determination. This search for relationship is based on beliefs aboutself and others that declare levels of value, acceptance, rejection,etc. Thus, the search for relationships is a product of these beliefs.To view this from a Christian theological perspective, we can start witha traditional position that an all-wise, all-powerful, and good Godcreated the human race to love and serve God and to enjoy a relationshipwith God. Further, this human race was created in the image of God, or areflection of the essence of the creator. As a relational view, theimage of God is universal to all humankind and the relationship ofhumans to God, which constitutes the image of God, is paralleled by therelationship of one human to another19. In light of this premise, theUnconditional Acceptance of Self (USA) and the Unconditional Acceptanceof Others (UOA) is easily understood. The integration of thistheological precept and REBT provides a focus point for counselingintervention. Generally, relationship to each other is key to emotionalrestoration, for it brings us closer to the core of the reason for humanexistence. That which blocks relationship is not the relationshipitself, but our view (or possibly another view) of the relationship. Intrue spiritual understanding, the image is one with the essence of God.The image cannot be different from the original. Because of this, the

acceptance of others and our self is simply the acceptance of the imageof God. As Christian counselors, we attempt to integrate the estrangedinto a place of coping through a healthy evaluation of their beliefs andgoals. The process of evaluation ideally leads to both self-acceptance(USA) and other acceptance (UOA) and assist in the relationship seekingprocess. This healing and restoration may be maintained by acognitive/behavioral oriented system that is designed to reinforce thisnew belief.

Self -talk

In psychoanalytic work, the unconscious is viewed as a repositoryfor disturbance producing drives and conflicts. It is held thatunconscious drives are the prime motivating force in much of consciousthinking and behavior. In REBT, this concept is replaced by the theorythat most of our disturbance producing ideas are just under the surfacein the area known as the preconscious. Ellis states:

Humans naturally have conscious and unconscious thoughts andprocesses which create their neurotic feeling and behaviors with


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unconscious (as well as conscious) irrational Beliefs (iBs). Instead ofthese iBs being deeply hidden or repressed (as psychoanalytic theoryhold) they are always just below the level of the conscious (in whatFreud called the preconscious thinking) and can fairly easily be broughtinto light if one uses REBT theory to look for and reveal them20." One

of the ways we bring these preconscious thoughts into being is throughthe use of self-talk or internal dialogues about our perceptions oflife. In REBT the client is encouraged to actively evaluate theirthought patterns during times of stress or when unhealthy negativeemotions appear. Generally the self-talk that produces these unhealthynegative emotions is irrational and demanding. In self-talk analysis theclient is encouraged to ask themselves three things:

1.What am I saying to myself about myself?2.What am I saying to myself about others?3.What am I saying to myself about an unpleasant event or

situation?21Most people are not aware of the impact their selftalk has on

their emotional and behavioral reactions to life problems. If the clientfaces a problem with the self-talk of I cant handle this, it shouldntbe happening to me, they obviously move toward an unhealthy negativeemotion and a poorly coping position. However, if they approach theself-talk with; This is a difficult situation and I am concerned aboutit, however, problems do arise in life and I will do the best I can andwont damn myself if I fail,

They now move into a stronger coping position with a rational selfanalysis of strengths and weakness, Clark suggests the following guideto analyzing our self-talk as to rational or irrational22:

Rational Beliefs and Self-Talk are:

Logical reasonable, sensible, and logical Reality Based based on actual evidence and observation Useful helpful, practical, and useful in attaining my goals Enhancing to self, others and relationships Helpful for emotions; reducing anxiety, anger and depression Based on preferences and wishes rather than on the three major

musts and absolute should's

Here again, the concept used in REBT is easily integrated intoChristian understanding. The use of scripture and meditation for newself-talk changes is a tool readily adapted to Christian Counseling aswe will explore in Chapter 4.


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Behavioral Interventions

Role Play

In the REBT process, the activity of behavioral change is oftendone through emoting and changing the self-talk process. A client whosees his irrational belief may resist implementing the changecognitively unless he is able to behaviorally adapt the new thinking andaction. In the therapy session, the therapist and client can enter intoa role-playing activity in which the therapist takes on the part of theclients irrational belief and the client is called upon to aggressivelydispute the belief. For example, a client who has anger because his wifenags him (and his belief is that she should not do this) the therapistrole plays as the wife and challenges the client to confront hisirrational belief and move to a rational preference. More specifically:

Therapist (as wife role): You never take me out.Client:I am disappointed that you dont remember I took you outlast week, but I do remember and I look forward to the next time.Therapist (as wife role): You are never on time for dinner.Client: Obviously that is your perception, and while I may notagree with it, I respect your right to have that perception. I amonce again disappointed that you have forgotten that I am generallyhome on time, but that is your problem not mine.Therapist (as wife role): You should help me with housework, younever do.Client: You obviously see things different than I do, but I am

willing to listen to you and I would appreciate your also listeningto my perspective. I have fixed the sink, repaired the garage door,cleaned up the yard, and painted the window. I realize this is adifferent type of housework than you are seeing, but it is housework never the same.

In this role-play, the client is encouraged to keep his demand outof the interaction and attempt to work with preference statements. Bylowering his anger he is able to think of more rational responses thatdo not escalate into a fight/flight mentality.

Rational Role Reversal

Another form of Role Play is Rational Role Reversal. In thisintervention, the therapist takes on the clients irrational beliefs andthe client acts as the therapist disputing the belief. In this mannerthe client can practice disputing and the therapist can assess how well


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the client is able to create a rational argument. This works for clientswho have a firm grasp on the basic concepts of REBT. For example:

Therapist (as irrational client voice): People should love me.Client: Prove it.Therapist

: They are supposed to be loving people.Client: Are you always lovable. Do you have times when you are notsuch a warm fuzzy creature?Therapist:Sure, but I cant stand it when people dont love me.Client: You have been standing it for 40 years, I think you canprobably go on further. However, would you be happier if yousimply preferred that people love you and accept the fact thatthey probably wont always love you but that is not the end ofthe world?

In the interaction, the client attempted to overcome the resistanceof the role-playing of the therapist by using several differenttechniques for disputing and teaching. In this manner, the client hasalso encouraged herself in her own disputing power.

Rational Emotive Imagery

A basic tenant in REBT is the belief that a person can change theiremotional consequence by restructuring their irrational belief into arational belief. An effective tool for helping a client achieve this iscalled Rational Emotive Imagery. In this technique, the client is askedto visualize their activating event, which they link to the emotional

consequence they are presenting as a problem. The imagery needs to be asvivid and emotionally arousing as possible. When the client obtains thevision and is truly feeling the negative emotional consequences they areencouraged to begin to rework the belief system until they obtain thehealthy counterpart of the emotion.

An example is a client who has high anger when her children dontclean their room. She has a behavior of shouting and acting inunacceptable fashion for a parent. The therapist has her visualize themess the children leave and aggressively feel her anger. When she hasachieved that emotional level, he asks her to now change her emotion to

one of disappointment by changing her irrational belief and demands. It isimportant that the client doesnt simply change the room to a clean roomor go into denial about her being upset about the mess. She needs tocontinue to be upset, but in a rational coping manner.

From a Christian perspective, this is a good tool for meditation andprayer. A person is asked to move into the same position as above, butthen has a vision of Jesus in the situation speaking to them to help them


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move to a healthy negative emotion. The client then can use this as apoint of reference to self-talk effectively in the future. This will befurther explored in Chapter 4.

Emotive Interventions

Forceful Self Statements

When the therapist works with the client in self-talk, it is oftennecessary to implement another intervention called Forceful Self-Statements. If we make a mistake and down ourselves with I cantbelieve I did that, what a jerk I am! the negative and irrationalbelief is very strong and forceful. Our demands on life are verypowerful statements in our mind. We dont just demand They should treat

me better, we demand forcefullyThey should treat me better. Thus, inthe process of dispute and moving toward our preferences rather thandemands we need to exercise the same or greater force than theestablished irrational belief. The following is an example.

Therapist: Do you now see your irrational demand?Client: Yes, I am demanding that people should treat me withrespect.Therapist: So what is your dispute?Client: I would prefer that people treat me with respect, buthistory show it wont always happen, so, while I am disappointed,it is not a catastrophe when they dont.Therapist: Think for a moment how strong your demand for respecthas been. Can you imagine the sound of that voice in you minds ear?Client: Yes, it is a strong demand and very loud.Therapist: Then how will you dispute it and establish this newpreference unless you drown it out?Client: I guess by saying forcefully: I would prefer constantrespect, but is not the end of the world if I dont get it. I amstill okay!Therapist: Good. Now stand up and shout it right here.Client (standing and shouting): I would prefer constant respect,but it is not the end of the world if I dont get it. I am still

okay!Therapist: Your homework is to do exactly that routine three timesevery day. If you forget then the next day you have to do it inpublic.

All of these approaches will enable the client to move deeper intothe REBT and cognitive/behavioral intervention.


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Chapter 3 Review

1.REBT believes that seeking __________________ or self-esteem will lead people to rate themselves on their actionsor __________________and not deal with pragmatic realities of

failure or fallibility.2.USA, which stands for _____________________ _______________________________ encourages people to accept themselvesbecause they choose to, not because of things that happen.

3.In Unconditional Other Acceptance or ______________, theclient will teach themselves to not rate others in a globalfashion based upon _____________. Rather they will evaluate the

activity separate from a person.4.The core of Ellis' REBT is that humans are born with a strong

_______________ desire for sex/love relationship and the desireto live in some kind of ______________ or family group.

5.Generally _________________ to each other is key to_____________________, for it brings us closer to the core ofthe reason for human existence.

6.A client who sees his irrational belief ________________ mayresist implementing the change unless he is able to_________________ adapt the new thinking and action.

7.The therapist and client often enter into a _________________activity in which the therapist takes on the part of the clients_____________ beliefs and the client is called upon to

aggressively dispute the belief.8.In this role-play, the client is encouraged to keep his

_______________ out of the interaction and attempt to work

with __________________ statements.9.In Rational Role Reversal, the therapist takes on the clients

_____________ beliefs and the client acts as the therapist________________ the belief.

10. One of the ways we bring preconscious thoughts into beingis through the use of _____________ or internaldialogues about ____________________ of life.

11. In self-talk analysis the client is encouraged to askthemselves three things:

What am I saying to myself about ______________?

What am I saying to myself about ______________?What am I saying to myself about ______________?


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12. Briefly dispute each of the following:`A.I must - yes must- have love or approval from all the people I

find significant._____________________________________________________________________

B.The idea that you must prove thoroughly competent, adequate, andachieving._______________________________________________________________________

C. When people act obnoxiously and unfairly, you should blamethem, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals.________________________________________________________________

D.The idea that you have to view things as awful, terrible,horrible, and catastrophic when you get seriously frustrated, treatedunfairly, or rejected.

E.the idea that emotional disturbance is mainly caused and thatpeople have little or no ability to increase or decrease theirdysfunctional feelings and behaviors.

F.If something seems dangerous or fearsome, you must preoccupyyourself with and make yourself anxious about it.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

G.You can more easily avoid facing many life difficulties andself-responsibilities than undertake more rewarding forms of self-discipline.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

H.Your past remains all-important and that because something oncestrongly influenced your life, it has to keep determining your feelingsand behavior today.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I.People and things should turn out better than they do and thatyou must view it as awful and horrible if you do not find good

solutions to life's grimrealities.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

J.You can achieve maximum human happiness by inertia and inactionor by passively and umcommittedly "enjoying yourself.


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Chapter 4

Spiritual Intervention

The transition from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy to RationalEmotive Behavior Pastoral Therapy is dependent upon the use ofinterventions that apply to the spiritual dynamic of the client. In aSpiritual Intervention, the therapist first determines the clientsreligious schema. The therapist can then challenge the clients existingphilosophy changing it to a more rational approach without disturbingthe core religious schema. REBT approaches intervention with fourconcepts described below:

As a Psycho-educational Therapy, REBT challenges the client with

teaching and intense homework application. Each session is designed tospecifically educate the client concerning the various aspects of theABC model. These sessions include a review of previously assignedhomework and a new assignment designed to reinforce the material coveredin the current session. As a Psychological Interactions tool, REBTdepends on directive and sometimes assertive counseling. Open dialogand exchange of hypothesis concerning the clients presenting problem andpotential diagnosis are a norm in the sessions. Using both Psycho-educational Therapy and Psychological Interactions, the client andtherapist can freely integrate REBT and the spiritual/religious schemainto a therapeutic process. The goal of this process is to challenge theclients conscious understanding of how thoughts, emotions and actions

overlap each other. When the therapist is able to grasp the clientsreligious beliefs, the client is more comfortable with exploringemotional disturbances. If the intervention, within the therapeuticcontext, provides an ongoing path of reeducation and training into agreater rational understanding, then the client better recognizes theinternal reasoning process and can also restructure the behavioralapproach to life situations. REBTs use of invivo desensitization(acting out in an actual event) incorporates both the cognitive and the

1. REBT is psycho-educational therapy.2. REBT is based on psychological

Interaction.3. Thoughts, emotions, and actions

overlap each other.

4. REBT generally favors invivodesensitization over imaginal to help

clients with long standing problems

and phobias.


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behavioral aspects of restructuring. However, when using spiritualintervention it is necessary to use imaginal focus in order to dealwith intangible spiritual concepts. To accomplish this task, thefollowing interventions will be reviewed:

Rational Prayer

Rational Imagery Meditation Ritual Scripture Religious Self talk

Rational Prayer

Prayer establishes a place of communion and interaction with God.Most prayer, unfortunately, is petition prayer in which the personpraying presents his/her list of needs and wants expecting God toprovide as they desire. This type of praying is usually a one-sidedconversation and often misses the purpose of communion and interactionso essential for spiritual growth. Meditation is an essential part ofour prayer life and historically documented as being one of the mainfunctions of the early church. We will deal with the meditation aspectof prayer in a later section of this chapter. To rationalize ourprayer life, it is necessary to explore the ABC model of most petitionprayer. Generally, the focus of the prayer is a heavy emphasis on the Awith a strong demand for God to change the A so the C is more

comfortable. For example:

Dear God,I am having a tremendous struggle with my boss. She is very

demanding and makes my life uncomfortable and I am constantly angry anduptight. Please change her way of acting or provide me with a new job.

Amen

In this short prayer we easily define the A: My demanding boss.The C is Anger and Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT). In this irrationalprayer, the client assumes that God will change the boss or the job,

then the C will go away and life will be good again. This A/C connectionis the core of the clients inability to cope and move forward with hislife. It is most likely a problem in many other relationships andinteraction in his world as the client appears to have little insight asto his own responsibility for his emotional state. In exploring thisprayer, we seek to find the clients iB and show him the connectionbetween the iB and the C. For example:


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Therapist: In thinking about your boss, what is the worst thingabout her demanding approach to life?Client: She just makes my life miserable and I am always uptightand angry.Therapist: And what is it you are telling yourself about this

demanding boss?Client: I am an employee and not a slave. She should treat mebetter, so I can do my work.Therapist: How long has she been demanding?Client: Since I have been with her, three years.Therapist: And what are the chances of her being demandingtomorrow?Client: Unless God intervenes, she will be the same.Therapist: So with all this history demonstrating that she isdemanding and with the future certainty that she will remainthe same, how helpful is it to you to continue to demand that shebe nicer to work with today?Client: I guess pretty slim.Therapist: Right. But every time you make a demand that she change,you set yourself up for frustration and anger because you have no`control over her and most likely, she will never change.Client: Right, which is why I need God to change her or get me anew job!

At this point in the interaction, the client sees the futility inhis or her own demand, but still clings to the fact that God must changethe A for true help to arrive. The therapist needs now to work on theclients demand on God.

Therapist: Tell me, how long have you been praying that Godintervene in your work?Client: Since I took the job.Therapist: And I assume that nothing has change.Client: Not yet.Therapist; So what would it be like if God never answered yourprayer the way you wanted?Client: That would be terrible. I would be stuck in this messforever. I dont think I could stand that.

The client has now moved deeper into the core beliefs of the iB.The new demand is that God must change the boss or get me a new job.The Awfulization is it would be terrible if He doesnt and the LFT isI dont think I could stand it if He didnt. The therapist now has achoice as to directions for the client. One choice is to dispute theseirrational demands and bring the client to a better understanding of thesense of futility that grows when he places absolute demands on God. Hedoesnt control God and, while he would prefer that God answer his


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prayers, he may be disappointed if He doesnt, but He is sovereign andknows what is best for his life. This is a rational evaluation of prayertoward God, but still lacks in a true elegant change in the clientsphilosophy to provide healthier coping skills.

The second approach, which is possibly more preferable, is toexplore the clients own demands on the world around him and how itfails to provide him with his own sense of control over his life.

Therapist: I can see how God not directly answering your prayer maybe difficult, but lets look at this from a different angle. Otherthan your boss, do you have problems with other demanding people?Client: I have always had trouble with my Dad. I can never seem tomake him happy, he is so demanding. I mean I love him, but he isfrustrating.Therapist: So you have problems with frustration in both cases,your Dad and your boss.Client:Yeah, but I dont work for my Dad.Therapist: True, but lets look at the fact that not everyone whoworks for your boss or interacts with your Dad has this highlevel of frustration and anger? Would you agree?Client: Sure, some people seem not to be bothered by them. But Iam.Therapist: So, if we see that others have a different emotionalapproach to your boss and Dad, then there are definitelydifferent emotional choices to be made. It is not a universal normin which all people react to demandingness with the same emotion.Some are happy; some are angry; some just dont seem to care.

Agree?Client: YesTherapist: So if you are not happy with the emotions of anger andfrustrations you feel when dealing with your boss and Dad, itwould stand to reason that you may be able to use a different andless debilitating emotion. Agree?Client: Yeah, I guess I could choose to react different, but Idont think I should have to react different when they are theones at fault.Therapist: Tell me, honestly, what is your real goal in thisproblem, to change your boss and Dad or to feel better about

life when in their presence?Client: While I would like to change them, I dont think they willchange, so I guess it is my goal to feel better when I am caught intheir demandingness. .Therapist: Good, so what we are now looking at is not to change theBoss or the Dad, but change ourselves. We look at this process aschanging our belief from an irrational demand of They should beless demanding, (over which we really have no control), to a


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preference of I wish they would not be so demanding, but inreality, they always are and will be, so while this isdisappointing and a concern, it is not terrible and I can standit.

At this stage, the therapist is providing a new insight into thecontrol a person has over his/her belief system and how changingthinking may change their emotional state. The therapist now builds thisnew understanding using several different approaches culminating in arational prayer. The client now establishes a prayer that is not focusedon changing the A, but rather, seeking Gods help to change their own iBto a rB. In the previous example, the session has only outlined thecognitive adjustment part of the therapy. In a full session, the clientcan also identify their irrational behavior and develop a healthieralternative. The new Rational Prayer would look something like this:

Meditation using Rational Imagery

As previously discussed, Rational Imagery is a powerful tool tointegrate both the cognitive and behavioral aspect of the clientstherapy. As a Spiritual Intervention, the focus of the imagery is one ofmeditation and contemplation. Obviously, some exploration of theclients approach to meditation and contemplation is necessary prior tothe use of this intervention, as different religious orientations havedifferent definitions of meditation. However the following outline is

generally adaptable to most religious practice:

Meditation using Rational Imagery

Dear God, I am very angry (Ce) about my boss being so demanding of my time

(A) and I react by withdrawing (Cb).

I realize that my anger (C) comes from my belief that my boss should not be so

demanding (iB). I understand that I have no control over my boss and holding this

belief that she must change is irrational (D). Therefore I ask that you help me to

change my belief to one in which I would prefer her not to be so demanding, but

when she is, I will focus on being disappointed (E) rather than angry. I will also

remember and tell myself out loud, each time she is demanding, that God is for me

so who can be against me. Amen


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To explore this, let us use the same client as described in theprevious case of Rational Prayer. Assume the client worked on the prayerfor a week and is making some progress but still experiences anxiety andanger when the boss is too demanding. The meditation intervention is asfollows:

Client: I see my boss last Thursday when we had a project tocomplete that I had worked on all day. She came to me and made fivechanges that did not need to be made, but simply gave her a place ofcontrol over the project and me. I remember the anger building in me.(Here the client pauses and thinks about the incident until he deeplyfeels the anger and anxiety about this A.) I am really feeling the angernow and I would like to throw the project in her face and storm out ofthe room screaming some very non-Christian thoughts! I am now thinkingthat it is not her demandingness that causes my anger, it is my beliefthat she should not interfere with my work and cause me problems. Icant stand her interruptions and perfection, especially when they are

just power plays. I now look over and see Jesus sitting next to my deskand he is looking at me and smiling. I feel his hand on my shoulder andhe says to me, Peace, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives toyou but as I give to you. I feel His presence and I begin to relax. Hethen says to me, Your boss is having her own problems and you knownothing of her life struggles. While you would prefer that she befairer, it does not appear that she will be at this time and that issad, but it does not separate you from my peace. I know you arefrustrated with this, but it is not terrible or horrible, it is justannoying. Repeat after me God is for me so who can be against me. Isay these words out loud and then He says, Remember, nothing can

separate you from the love of God. I see him smile and then get up andwalk from the room. I go back to my work and I feel a calm and controlthat I have not felt before.

The client has now established a new evaluation system in hisschema. The events may not change, but he is in a place of peace andcontentment no matter what the circumstances. In this process, he has

Imagine the Problem (A) Feel the unhealthy emotions (C) Identify the irrational beliefs (iB) contributing to the (C) Stop when the irrational belief is identified Again imagine the problem (A) Call upon or imagine Jesus/God disputing the irrational belief until you feel

(C) a healthier emotion (E).

Meditate on the (A) using the new emotion (E) and picture yourself with ahealthier new behavior (E)


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In this format, the ABC design is simply set up on the beads. Thelarger bead (or knot) is the spiritual focus, and is generally afamiliar scripture or religious verse that applies to the clientspresenting problem. For example, a person struggling with anxiety maychoose a verse such as Be anxious for nothing, for in due season youwill reap if you sow. This verse is repeated at the beginning and atthe end of the meditation. Some people may use the Lords Prayer or some

approved creed used by their particular faith base. Stating the verse atstep one, the client now moves to the next bead (or knot) and statesclearly his/her A. For example, the client may state, My boss isdemanding (using our previous case study). At this point the clientmoves to the next bead which may either be the iB or the C depending onhow the client works the ABC formula. If, in this case, the client usesC as the next bead, then they state I am anxious and angry. Next theymove to the B and state a demand that they are making, such as I amdemanding that she should not make my life so difficult. The next beadis the D and the dispute takes one of the formats the client is familiarwith such as, Where is the law that says people cannot be demanding?

Finally they move to bead E and state a new preference and then a newbehavior, I wish she was not so demanding, but she is and that isdisappointing. It is, however, not the end of the world and I know thatif God is form me then who can really be against me. Finally, theyreturn to the main bead and repeat the spiritual verse used in thebeginning.

Meditation Beads

The A

The C

The B

Spiritual Focus

The DThe E


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By repeating this type of movement through the beads, the client isconstantly rehearsing the iB and the dispute in a focused manner. Thebeads keep a spiritual aspect of meditation that fits into the clientsschema. Other patterns may be developed with the beads as the clientbegins to become more comfortable with the process.

The Candle

In order to challenge a faulty thought pattern and behavior we needto change the way in which we routinely evaluate our circumstances. Thiscan be challenging since our evaluation patterns are largely automatic.To assist the client in changing these evaluative patterns, it is oftenhelpful if they can take time to express their full irrational patternsof thinking and then see that pattern literally replaced by anotherentirely new pattern. In many ways, this is a type of catharsis for theclient, but it is not designed as an emotional expression as much as itis a full exploration of the evaluation the client is using at themoment. The clients grasp an understanding and then replace it with newtruth is extremely empowering to the client in their search for bettercoping abilities. In scripture, Paul teaches in Ephesians to put off theold self and put on the new (Ephesians 4:22) and that is the move towardcoping the ritual of the candle encourages. The ritual of the candle isas follows:

Ritual of the Candle

The support of scripture and spiritual truth is the key to comingfrom the darkness of irrationality to the light of rational thinking andaction. For example, if the person focuses on the friend who lied tothem and how angry they are about that incident, they may possiblyconclude the iB was She should not lie to me. The dispute to a rB maybe:

1. Think of the activating event and the emotion and behavior youfind unhealthy

2. Face an unlit candle and focus on your Irrational Belief3. Express this irrational belief and the resulting emotional andbehavioral consequences of the irrational belief.

4. Dispute the irrational to a Rational belief5. Focus on the Scripture or spiritual truth that supports you rB6. Light the candle7. Repeat the Activating event in your mind and then respond to it

with new truth (preference) and new behavior

8. Close with the thought that there is not enough darkness in theworld to extinguish Gods light.


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She did lie to me and that is not a good thing, so as human

beings, the bible says we all have sinned and come short of the Glory ofGod, so why am I thinking that she is any different from all the rest ofthe world, including me? She did what she did and that is sad, but I didfind out and now I know the truth. I choose to be sad and concerned, butwill show her the same mercy that God gives me when I lie, because Ialso have lied during my life. I light the candle to show that myrational thought is brighter than the darkness of irrationality.

The process of working scripture into the thinking and thenritually lighting the candle gives the person a chance to see the changein a very real and tangible form. Not lighting the candle until theperson arrives at a rational and coping understanding is a constantreminder of the darkness of irrational thinking.

Scripture Intervention

In Judeo/Christian faith, the written word of God is a key toattempting to understanding the mystery of life from a revealed truth.Thus, if we move from deception of iB into the reality of rB, then useof Scripture Intervention is a logical place of reference. The SpiritualIntervention with Scripture is tied to the premise of self-talk and itsimpact on our thinking and actions. Everyone talks to himself or herselfto some extent and a great deal of the conversation extends from ourevaluation of life. Scripture provides a place of impact to ourevaluation system that forces us to reconsider our own self-talk. Forexample, if a client thinks they are stupid because they made a mistake,they must compare their self-talk of I am stupid with the scripturaltruth of We have the mind of Christ. The format of ScripturalIntervention and Self-Talk is as follows:

Spiritual Intervention and Self Talk

The primary problem with scripture in intervention is our abilityto lift a verse out of context or paint a picture with scripture tosupport our own irrational thinking. This conclusion then leads us intoself-talk that is defeating and irrational. In REBPT this is a process

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7) If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,

think about these things and the God of peace will be with

you. (Philippians 4:8)


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Summary

The use of these interventions is a sample of how spiritual

understanding can be used inREBT Pastoral Counseling. The type of intervention is open to theimagination of the client and therapist working together. In all thingswith REBT Pastoral Counseling, remember the core of the process:

REBPT provides a safe environment for the religious client,

as it does not attack their values or goals, but rather their

irrational beliefs about their values and goals.

REBPT allows the client to maximize the potential of their

life philosophy while decreasing their emotional pain,suffering, and self-defeating behaviors.


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Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you andshall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.Rejoice and be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward inheaven.

The Beatitudes are lessons on how to establish a life that focuseson God. The word blessed literally means happy in the originalGreek. Therefore, the Beatitudes are a goal structure that leads us tohappiness in this life. The teachings of Jesus in the Beatitudes aredirecting the follower to focus on the long-term happiness of a Godcentered life rather than the short-term pleasures of a godless life.

If the teaching of the Beatitudes demonstrates that people maydiscipline their life to obtain true happiness, then the goal ofChristian counseling is to help people find true happiness or thatplace of true contentment. Each human activity can have some purpose.Generally, we do not do something unless it fulfills some purpose in ourlife. We may work in a job that we do not enjoy because it fulfills thepurpose of earning an income. We may go to school, with all thecommitment of time and money because it fulfils our long-term purpose ofobtaining a degree. A person who is generally regarded as sane pursuesthings that bring him/her happiness and fulfillment. Look again at theBeatitudes in light of goal orientation25:

Godly Long-term Goal Obtained by

1. Excellence and abundance of good Blessed are the poor in Spiritthings in God. theirs is the kingdom of

heaven.

2. Divine consolation Blessed are they that mourn: forthey shall be comforted.

3. Secure possession of eternal joy Blessed are the meek: for theyshall inherit the earth.

4. The fulfillment of justice Blessed are those which hunger

and thirst after righteousness:for they shall be filled.

5. The fullness of divine mercy Blessed are the merciful forthey shall obtain mercy.

6. The vision of God Blessed are the pure in heart:for they shall see God.


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7. Perfect union with God in wisdom Blessed are they which arepersecuted for righteousnesssake for theirs is the kingdomof heaven.

Arthur Pink has suggested that the Beatitudes provide progressiveinsight in a journey that the Christian may follow to reach the overallgoal of maturity in Christ.26 The first step in the journey isAwarenessor admitting what is wrong. Blessed are the poor in Spirit literallymeans blessed are those who beg for spirit. We can only begin ourjourney in Christ when we realize that we are nothing without God. Amodern translation of the bible reads You are blessed when you come tothe end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and Hisrule.27 TheAwareness Goal of finding our true self is key towalking in a healthy emotional perspective. Often in our Christian walkwe become set in our understanding of God. We may, for example, holddogma

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